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Male and Female Sexuality in the Bedroom: Battle of the Sexes

People always have some opinion about what male and female sexuality in the bedroom is like, but for the most part, they’re just ego tripping.

male and female sexuality in the bedroom

You’ve probably heard or even said some of these phrases. “Men are easy,” “Women are so, so complicated.” We’ve all said those things, but is it really true? Are men that easy to arouse sexually? You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? In fact, there’s many blurred lines when it comes to understanding male and female sexuality in the bedroom.

Why? Because we’re not actually open about sexuality. Sure, you see boobs and butts on TV, but no one really honestly discusses male and female sexuality.

What you need to know about male and female sexuality in the bedroom

I mean, if we were, you wouldn’t be googling “how to turn a woman/man on.” But you are googling that which means as a society, we leave out this important topic.

So, it’s time we talked about male and female sexuality in the bedroom because there are huge differences—ones that come in handy when it’s the right time. Think of this as your guide to sexual freedom.

#1 Men and women are different. I’m not going to say we’re the same, men and women, because sexually we’re different. Don’t take offense, biologically we’re designed differently. Our arousal patterns vary between the sexes regardless of who you’re sexually attracted. [Read: Gender bender, stop trying to convince me gender doesn’t exist]

#2 Men fear intimacy. Of course, this is a generalization, but studies show that boys, until entering school are much more affectionate and expressive than girls. However, once they enter school, this changes. You can thank social norms and repression for this! You know how we teach men that it’s not cool to show emotion and crying is for pussies? Well, this is the outcome, emotionally unavailable men.

#3 Women need foreplay. Men may not need as much time to become aroused. However, it’s a different story for women. Though we may be immediately turned on, it does take some time for the vagina to warm up and become wet. This is where foreplay comes in.

Many men simply rush through it and it’s not their fault. But if they spent an extra fifteen minutes engaging in foreplay, they would notice a huge difference. [Read: Why foreplay is the key to the best sex of your life]

#4 Men have many erogenous zones. You may have thought that only women struck out with the luck of having multiple erogenous zones. But, it turns out that men have them as well. Now, many men may not know they have them because they haven’t had a chance to explore those areas.

Erogenous zones on men include the chest, inner thighs, and face but also the perineum *the area between the scrotum and anus* and testicles are heightened during sex.

#5 To orgasm is to bond. When a man ejaculates, a majority of the time it comes with an orgasm. I say “a majority” because sometimes a man ejaculates without orgasm. Yes, I know, so complicated.

But for both men and women, when they orgasm they release oxytocin which is a bonding hormone. This brings people closer together. So, whether you’re a man or woman having your partner orgasm is a bonding experience. [Read: What is dopamine? The dopiest pleasure pill inside you]

#6 Both men and women like to be complimented. I mean, who doesn’t like to be told that they’re good in bed? Exactly. Both men and women like to be praised. It boosts their confidence in bed. More specifically, men and women like to be complimented on sensitive areas such as their tummies or receding hairline.

#7 Men have a stronger sex drive than women. Through studies, it’s been shown that men tend to have a stronger sex drive than women. This is because men’s motivation pathways in their brain are linked to reward. So, for you men out there, try to sync yourself up to when your partner’s sexually aroused. For example, maybe your partner tends to be aroused in the mornings. [Read: How to change the way you have sex and make it much better]

#8 Women are much more fluid with sexual attraction. This doesn’t come as a surprise to me. What’s been discovered is that women are much more flexible when it comes to sexual orientation and sexual exploration. What does this mean? Of course, this isn’t for all women, though it’s shown that women are much more open to trying new things in the bedroom. [Read: What it means to have a lesbian fantasy as a straight woman]

#9 Men are more visual. In comparison to women, men are more visual when it comes to sex. This is why men love to hear women moaning, screaming, seeing them during sex. They love to see the person they’re having sex with truly enjoying the experience.

#10 Women peak later than men. It’s been noted that men tend to peak earlier than women. Their sexual interest and frequency of orgasms tends to start at a higher level than women. However, that changes by middle age. When men start to decrease in sexual interest and orgasm frequency, women peak.

#11 At the end of the day, it depends on the person. Though we have all these studies telling us what is what, at the end of the day it really depends on the individual. Some behavior may be more common in one gender. These create stereotypes which cause misunderstanding.

For example, just because men tend to have a higher sex drive than women, it doesn’t mean there cannot be women with high sex drives. [Read: 15 scientific reasons you have a high sex drive]

#12 Women can have multiple orgasms. Yay for women! Sorry, guys. Women are able to have multiple orgasms. Men can have this as well, but there’s usually a waiting period in between ejaculations. Whereas women will be able to go again and again without taking a break in between orgasms.

[Read: How to understand the differences between men and women]

Now that you know the differences between male and female sexuality in the bedroom, you can put all those myths to the side—they aren’t helping anyone.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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