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Angry Sex: The Primal Secrets to Have a Wild Time & Do It Safe and Right

From time to time, every couple argues. It’s normal! A great way to get rid of frustration is to pour it into some angry sex. It might be the best ever!

angry sex

Make love not war. At least that’s what they say. When you’re fuming angry with your partner and you’re arguing like there’s no tomorrow, it’s very easy to forget romantic feelings! It’s normal to argue, in fact, it’s healthy. A great way to overcome hurdles, along with great communication, is to get rid of pent up emotions with a spot of angry sex.

For sure, it’s hard when you find out your girlfriend’s still communicating with her ex. Or, when your boyfriend ditched you on your date night for game day with the boys. Fighting and disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. No matter how much you love your partner, they are not perfect and neither are you. In a relationship that’s full of passion and a few differences, there’s bound to be a lot of arguments that will not only add spice to your relationship but, unfortunately, make it rocky at times too.

But mind-blowing make-up angry sex makes it ALL better! [Read: The art of make up sex: A guide to master the romp after the rage]

Hang on, what is angry sex? (And what it isn’t)

You might be wondering what angry sex actually is. Sure, it’s self-explanatory on the tin but nothing is usually that cut and dried in life!

When you’re mid-argument and your emotions peak, you can either carry on screaming at each other, or you can allow that passion to turn into something else. Many people find arguing actually makes them horny! For the most part however, angry sex happens after an argument and it’s a great way to make up and put things to one side. [Read: Seven sexiest types of sex you can ever have]

It all comes down to the heightened emotions you’re feeling. You need to work through them in some way otherwise they’ll stay there and fester. By getting down and dirty, allowing those emotions to come out, and letting your sex be a little rougher than normal perhaps, or a little more emotional, you’re working through that frustration. All in all, you’ll have a great time, you’ll feel better afterwards, and the issue has a full stop placed after it.

While angry sex does tend to be a little animalistic and even rough, it’s not designed to hurt anyone. Remember that at all costs. You still love one another, you’re just angry about something. That’s all. If at any point either partner feels threatened, hurt, or in any type of danger, it has to stop immediately. Angry sex is still two partners making love, it’s just slightly faster and more animalistic than before. [Read: Sweaty sex: 12 Animalistic reasons why it’s so dripping hot]

How to have angry sex the right way

Can you really wipe that frown off her face just by giving her nookie? Or can you make him forgive you by making your bodies meet even if your beliefs do not? Here are a few great ways to perfect angry sex and turn things around from mad rage to passionate bliss in no time.

1. Don’t use sex (or no sex) to get your way

Many people will use sex to get what they want from their partner. If they want something to get done, there’ll be something kinky and hot prepared in the bedroom. Alternatively, people will also withhold sex from their partner just so they can win the fight or to make their partner feel bad.

If you and your significant other are having a rough time, don’t use sex to get back at each other. Make it more of an emotional reconnection instead, to remind you that there is still something about your relationship that is worth fighting for. [Read: 11 signs you’re being used for sex or money by your partner]

2. Be aroused by your anger

The adrenaline rush you get from arguing with your partner can be turned into something more carnal. In fact, this adrenaline rush from fighting is similar to the adrenaline rush you get when you are aroused. So why not turn the fight into something you will both physically enjoy even when you’re at odds with each other?

To do this, avoid uttering harsh words that will further draw your partner away. Instead, find the erotic possibilities of this energy. Let that sexual energy take the lead and let yourself be turned on by your partner’s tensed muscles and flushed skin. Draw your partner close to you and kiss those angry pouts away. [Read: 23 do’s and don’ts of a relationship argument you need to remember]

3. Start sure but slow

Just because you’re angry and your emotions are high doesn’t mean you should jump the gun and have sex with your partner even if he or she doesn’t want to. That can actually lead you to more trouble. Instead, go slow and look for signs that your partner will be receptive to your sexual advances even in the heat of the moment.

Touch the hand, stroke the arms, or draw your lips closer to test the waters. Allow the situation to diffuse just enough for you to make your move. If your partner kisses you back, even if angrily, well, it’s on for angry sex which could give you both the best orgasms ever! If not, let it go. [Read: The step-by-step guide to making up with make up sex]

4. Play a little hard to get

Another trick in the book of angry sex is to play hard to get if you are on the receiving end of all the wooing. You’re mad at your partner. Of course, you’re not going to put out so easily. However, you know you’re feeling the sexual tension too. So aside from giving in too easily and making your partner think you’re letting the faux pas pass, make your partner work hard for your touch and affection. This not only teaches your partner that you are not that easy to appease when you are slighted, it also heightens the anticipation of the sexual act itself, therefore making it more intense.

5. Be assertive

Once you get started and all that angry energy is being transformed into sexual energy and arousal, this is the time when you should make your move. Your partner may be confused by the sudden change in the atmosphere so it’s all up to you.

Take your partner right there and then, or strip each other as you nudge your partner towards the bedroom. Whatever it is, be quick and assertive enough so your partner will not have second thoughts about the deed you are going to do. [Read: 8 easy ways to avoid the awkwardness after a fight]

6. Don’t overdo it

Angry make up sex can give you an opportunity to finally re-enact that Mr. and Mrs. Smith moment you’ve always wanted to try. However, those moves are meant for the movies and everything in real life must be done and enjoyed in moderation. Be careful not to let your anger take the lead or else you may end up hurting each other and the sex won’t be as pleasurable, in fact, it can lead to disaster.

7. Reconnect, don’t repress

Don’t use angry sex to put your issues aside. It might just be a break, but you know you have to face the music afterwards. And if you repress the issue just so you can have a great lay, the problem is still out there and may turn up again later on, with greater intensity.

Still, make the most of your intimate moments even with angry sex. You can use this constructively to not only let out those pent-up frustrations but to even reassert your feelings and stance in the relationship.

8. Don’t bring up the fight mid-hump

Don’t ever EVER bring up anything related to your fight in the middle of your romp. There’s nothing that can turn off your partner than a reminder of your sins while in the throes of passion. Also, make sure you do not get too personal with your dirty talking else you may end up having to nurse your unconsummated lust. [Read: How to talk dirty to your girl without turning her off]

If you have a grievance or even just a suspicion you want to air, choose a right time for that when your head is clear and you are not in the heat of the moment. Besides, it might even be a better idea to bring up any problem once you bask in the glow of your post coital bliss. Then, problems don’t seem like much of a big deal compared to the orgasm you gave each other. [Read: Pillow talk and how it can help you after a fight]

9. Get your BDSM skills going

Another great way to make angry sex even more exciting is to role play. What better way for you to play the dominant and put all your frustrations and anger into your role?

Punish your partner’s relationship boo-boo with a sexy slap in the bum using a sex whip. Better yet, act out a naughty student and a strict teacher scenario. Maybe that of a police officer and a felon, and turn all your angry energy into believable sexual role play. You never know, it might turn into a happily ever after. [Read: The sexual role play guide for beginners]

10. Push your inhibitions to one side

Angry sex is a great opportunity to push your self-consciousness aside and go for things you’d normally never do. Dirty talk, spanking, different positions, they’re all much easier to try for the first time when you’re surging on anger and pouring it into your arousal. Again, be sure that your partner is okay with it and don’t push forward with anything that they don’t want to do. But, if they show that they’re into it, why not try some new things?

Angry sex is healthy, but not if you don’t find closure

Angry sex is meant to divert what could be frustrated and negative energy into something sexual, productive, and healing. It should serve as a reminder of what attracted the two of you to each other, and to reignite the flames of love and passion. It should replace the fire of anger and resentment. [Read: Relationship arguments – 23 Dos and don’ts to remember]

A healthy outlet for any romantic relationship, angry sex can help reaffirm your love for each other. This should go beyond your petty fights and be more enduring than any difference in opinion. It can even help you become closer to each other instead of getting torn apart by your misunderstandings.

The important thing to keep in mind is that you should stay within the boundaries of responsible and loving lovemaking. Never violently channel your emotions to your partner through your sexual act.

Communication is key, even after angry sex

So, while angry sex is a great way to get rid of pent up frustration and emotion, it’s important to remember that you’re still going to need to talk about the problem if it’s something that isn’t going to disappear on its own. Trying to brush things under the carpet just means they’re going to come up again at a later time. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship: 14 Steps to a better love]

However, if you feel that the issue is closed, forget about it. There is nothing worse than constantly bringing up subjects that just resurface upset and pain. Assess the situation and how you feel about it. If you’re not happy and you don’t feel like you’ve got the closure you need, choose a suitable time and place to talk about it and be sure to keep your emotions on an even keel.

Angry sex is great, but it’s not a sticking plaster for major relationship issues.

[Read: 15 dirty ways to have the sexiest rough sex ever!]

Done right, angry sex can further reignite your profound love for each other, especially if both of you talk about your problems after sex. But done wrong, it can tear your relationship apart with unfinished conflicts and horny excuses to avoid an argument.

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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...
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