Even if they sound like the same thing, there are some differences between bisexual and biromantic. They lie in taking it one step further.
There are so many new labels about sex. Sexual identity, sexual desire, or even things that have nothing to do with sex but have sexual overtones in them. It’s easy to get lost in a sea of verbal confusion. It appears everyone and everything that we do, feel, or desire now needs a label. So if you wonder if you are biromantic, you probably are.
But, being biromantic has nothing to do with who you have wet dreams about, who you want to have sex with, or if you are a homosexual, heterosexual, or, something in between.
What does it mean, really?
Biromantic is something close to metrosexual in my head. When I first heard my male neighbor being referred to as a metrosexual, my first thought was, “But he’s married and doesn’t seem gay at all.”
Once I found out what it really meant, I thought “Yeah, that totally is him”. Biromantic is more of a gauge of how sensual you are and toward whom, than anything to do with who you want to have sex with. Confused? Well, so is the rest of the world.
What does being biromantic mean?
Biromantic is a phrase used to describe a person who has romantic feelings and is romantic to both sexes equally. Having nothing to do with their sexual orientation, they can be homosexual, heterosexual, pansexual, asexual, bisexual, or any other sexual term you come up with. The key to biromanticism is that it has nothing to do with sexual feelings.
When you look at the accepted definition of romantic, it is defined as loving, affectionate, tender, and amorous. So, if you are biromantic, that means that you feel and exhibit those types of feelings toward both sexes.
What is bisexual?
Bisexual is something different. If you are bisexual, then you have sexual feelings toward people of both sexes. Not just feeling lovingly toward both, it means you want to engage in sexual activity with both genders.
Ways to determine whether you are biromantic or bisexual
So, how do you know if you are biromantic or bisexual?
#1 You feel lovingly toward most people? Whether you have a bromance brewing or you want to sit really close to one of your new besties, feeling lovingly toward people of the same sex has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.
Unless you want to sit close to them because you are sexually aroused and hope to take it a step further, then you are most likely biromantic, not bisexual. [Read: 9 sure ways to tell if you’re really bi-curious]
#2 You have sexual fantasies about people of the same gender. Merely having a sexual attraction toward people of the same sex does not make you bisexual. Many people are just so attractive that they elicit feelings of sensuality.
The difference between someone who is biromantic and bisexual is even if you have romantic feelings toward someone, or even consider them sexually appealing; you don’t want to act on your feelings.
It is okay to think about the same gender occasionally and admire their sexual attractiveness. But if you want to act on it and engage in sexual activity, then you might want to consider the fact that you have bisexual, as well as biromantic, feelings.
#3 You want to flirt with people of the same gender. There are times when being adored by someone is a really nice feeling whether they are the same gender or not. When you start a new relationship with anyone, sometimes there is flirtation that goes on.
Harmless, it is nice to feel romantic and close to someone. Flirting with both genders doesn’t make you bisexual, it might just mean you are biromantic. If your flirting stops with clothes on and feeling good about yourself and your attraction, then there is very little chance you are bisexual.
#4 You want to experiment with both genders. There are many people who think bisexual experiences are “experimentation.” It isn’t that I don’t disagree with it, but I do feel that if you didn’t have bisexual feelings, then you wouldn’t want to experiment.
A biromantic isn’t experimenting with their feelings of romance; they just have them. People who want to experiment by having sexual experiences with people of both genders, whether it is permanent or not, are more than just biromantic and should consider the reality that they are bisexual. [Read: Heteroflexible: All you need to know about a rare sexuality]
#5 You are comfortable being way too close to people of both genders. There are some people who are just more open and free with their personal space than others.
The close talker is someone who doesn’t understand boundaries to personal space. Just because you are totally okay with practically sitting on your best friend’s lap, or you reach out and touch people sensually when you talk to them, that doesn’t necessarily mean you are bisexual.
In fact, many people are comfortable being close to not only people of the other gender but their own, without having any sexual feelings toward them at all. Lovingly being too close is very different from wanting someone sexually.
If you are someone who doesn’t need the same amount of personal space from those around you and are comfortable closer than most, that has nothing to do with being bisexual. That just means you are open to being loving and close to other humans whether they are the same gender or different.
[Read: Pansexual vs. bisexual: All the ways to tell the real difference]
Whatever you are or not, listen to your head and your heart and stop worrying about the labels and how they define you. Only you can define you, so just live your life, love who you love, and stop questioning what you are. You are you.
