When you’re not quite sure how to deal with a coworker who behaves inappropriately around you, here are some things you can do.
Unfortunately, sexual harassment is a common problem in the workplace. It is indiscriminate, and anyone can be a victim. While most people guilty of this inappropriate behavior are motivated sexually, there are also some who are ignorant that their behavior constitutes as sexual harassment.
Sexual harassment affects everyone: men, women, and the LGBT folks can be victims. When one becomes a victim, it is essential to know how to effectively deal with sexual harassment to ensure that it never happens again.
Sexual harassment is any type of coercive or bullying behavior that is sexual in nature. It is illegal in most countries and is highly frowned upon in the workplace. However, different countries have a different understanding and legal definitions of sexual harassment. In most workplace environments, sexual harassment is a serious and often terminable offense.
Ideally, the workplace relationship should be professional and positive, in a way that people would be comfortable in working together. Though forming deeper relationships such as friendships and romantic relationships aren’t explicitly banned, people should know the big difference when it comes to what constitutes as proper behavior and harassing behavior.
Forms of sexual harassment
Sexual harassment can take different forms, and people should take note that what may seem to be “harmless, playful gestures” could really mean something else. Remember that the way you casually interact with close friends could be unacceptable to a coworker who came from a different background. Sexual harassment could be as overt as physical contact, or could take the form of verbal or nonverbal communication. Here are a couple of examples.
#1 Unwelcome touching. The acceptable forms of workplace physical contact are limited to the following: Handshakes, high fives, fist bumps, and friendly shoulder taps. Anything beyond that could be questionable. Hugs, pokes, kisses, butt grabs, etc. are already considered intimate forms of contact that should be reserved for people close to you.
Even if you’re that close with your coworker, reserve it for your personal get-togethers. Other people could misinterpret those gestures, plus it looks unprofessional.
#2 Inappropriate comments/conversations. This includes comments that sexually objectify or demean the other person. It could be an offhanded comment on a body part or implying that the person is endowed in a sexual act. It could also take the form of intrusive questions about the person’s personal or sex life. [Read: 6 easy ways to deal with nosy coworkers]
#3 Gossiping. Sometimes, comments are not directed towards the target person, but are shared with other coworkers. In this way, the idea is spread in the workplace and greatly aggravates the harassment problem. People may gossip about the other person’s sex life, or share inappropriate comments between themselves as mentioned in the previous item.
#4 Cyber sexual harassment. This takes the form of sexually-charged emails, links, photos, chat room conversations, and other media that won’t fall into the category of decent, professional communication. This form of sexual harassment is becoming more common, due to the anonymity provided by online interaction.
#5 Other forms of nonverbal-behavior such as ogling, staring, and indecent exposure. Need we say more?
How does sexual harassment affect people in the workplace?
Sexual harassment’s bullying and coercive nature is in no way helpful in creating a healthy workplace environment. It is a direct attack on a person, and it may seriously affect the relationships formed in the office, which can harm the person’s capacity to be productive.
#1 The targeted person suffers shame, anxiety, and stress from being publicly sexualized and objectified.
#2 Sexual harassment creates hostility between participating coworkers, especially if the behavior is confronted.
#3 It harms teamwork, reduces interpersonal communication, and damages productivity.
#4 The offender and victim become pre-judged. They may be shunned or ostracized from groups and thus, suffer from loss of trust from colleagues.
#5 If a person is fired due to sexual harassment, it could lead to a damaged career from bad credentials. Serious cases often require people to move to another city or state.
#6 Victims may fall prey to “victim blaming,” where their lifestyle, attire, and personal activities may be scrutinized.
#7 The victim’s own relationships may get affected. A hostile significant other confronting the offender could get into an ugly physical fight.
#8 Victims may be subject to more harassment if the offender is in a position of power.
Dealing with sexual harassment
Sadly, even if there are laws and house rules that prohibit sexual harassment, it still happens very frequently. To further aggravate the problem, most victims often refuse to report such incidents, due to fear of reprisal if the offender occupies a high ranking position in the organization. Here are some of the things you can do to deal with that undesirable coworker.
#1 Talk to the person. Ask them to stop. This is sometimes the hardest choice for some people who are not confrontational. But oftentimes, talking directly to the person involved is the best way to snip the unwanted behavior in the bud.
After an incident, it is advisable to talk to the person directly to send a message that you do not condone such behavior. It could also help by setting a boundary or clearing a misunderstanding that you see as sexual harassment. Also, inform the other person that if they do not cease and desist, you will initiate further action.
#2 Gather evidence. Save and print incriminating emails and text messages, screen cap social media interactions, save photos, and keep voice recordings. This could help you form a strong case against the offending person, or you may use this evidence to convince them to stop before you talk to the authorities.
#3 Talk to other victims and witnesses. Aside from physical evidence, you could talk to other coworkers who are victims themselves. You may also gather witnesses and their formal statements. This would add more weight to your complaint, in case you would be forced to take it further. But remember that getting support from others is for making a sound case, not to bully or gossip about the offending person. [Read: 8 tips to be good friends with your coworkers]
#4 Talk to a supervisor. Talk to your immediate supervisor if the offending person is a team mate. Speak with the harasser’s supervisor if the offender belongs to another team. You could do this if confronting the harasser is not an option, or if you already did, but they still continue to sexually harass you. It’s better if you make it formal by emailing the supervisor a written complaint or incident report, which describes the situation when you were harassed.
#5 File a complaint to HR. HR is the usual department that handles any issues regarding the workplace. Some even have a dedicated sexual harassment officer to handle these cases. If all the preliminary talks and warnings do not deter the offender from committing sexual harassment, it is for the best that you file an official case to HR. For your case to carry weight, you may include all the evidence you gathered, plus the endorsement of your supervisor or manager.
#6 Contact senior management. Cases often do not require this solution, but if the offending party belongs to middle management *e.g. supervisors and area managers* and you find yourself a victim of workplace whitewashing or even blackmail, take it up to senior management. The board members would not like hearing their junior managers misbehaving, let alone participate in a cover-up of their misdemeanors. You would likely get more sound responses from this option.
#7 Endorse your case to EEOC. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission or EEOC is an organization that handles workplace issues such as discrimination and sexual harassment. If all the options you tried still won’t work, send your case to an EEOC representative. This organization specializes in sexual harassment cases and has lots of experience in dealing with offenders.
#8 File a lawsuit. If everything else failed and you’ve exhausted every option you have to make the other person quit harassing you, you could always file a lawsuit. This is the best option if you find yourself in a company-wide conspiracy to suppress your case and if the issue is affecting your life greatly.
Legally, you could sue the offending person and the company itself for not taking proper action for your plight. Lawsuits could generate damages compensation, get you reinstated to your position, and penalize the offending party.
[Read: 10 ways to calmly deal with difficult people]
The workplace should be a place of professionalism and respect. Therefore, any form of sexual harassment should be avoided and addressed properly. Unlike an annoying coworker, sexual harassment can’t be dealt with by ignoring it, as the offender may assume that offering no resistance implies consent.
