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How to Grow Up: Escape the Peter Pan Syndrome and Grow Fearlessly

We’ve all been said to grow up at some point in our lives. But what does it mean to really evolve? And how to grow up in life? Keep reading to find out.

how to grow up

Have you ever heard of the Peter Pan syndrome? It’s becoming more and more common in the Millennial generation. Here’s a little secret—no one wants to grow up. We all hit a crossroad in life where we have to take the plunge and leave our youth behind. If you wonder how to grow up, it’s all about believing in yourself.

Being a grown-up isn’t about being perfect or having life all figured out. It’s about owning your confidence and having the maturity to go after the things you want in life. If you are tired of sleeping in your parent’s basement and don’t know what you want to do, nothing is going to change if you don’t change it.

No one knocks on your door begging you to come work for them, give you a company car, and hand you the corner office. Those are all things that take time, experience, and a lot of hard work. You don’t just wake up and hope your goals get handed to you on a silver platter. Instead, you work for it. [Read: How to become a better person: 9 golden rules to evolve everyday]

Why is it necessary to earn how to grow up?

If you don’t grow up in life, you’ll just be a spectator in your own life. This means you’ll never fully control and shape your life into how you want it to go. Other people are constantly making decisions for you and even if something good does happen, it’s always by chance.

By learning how to grow up, you hold the steering wheel over your life. You get to decide which path you want to take, and nobody else. So this means your parents or anyone else wouldn’t be making them for you.

Most importantly, you can live a life without regrets because you choose how it’s going to go. You’re not just going with the flow, but you take charge of every decision and path to go. [Read: How to be mature: 25 ways to grow up & face life like an adult]

How to grow up with confidence – The 7 keys that make all the difference

It seems easier to sit back and take a spectator’s role in life. You can’t possibly do that forever. At some point, whether you like it or not, you must behave like a grown up and care for yourself. Choosing sooner than later saves you a lot of time and gets you where you want to be much quicker.

The reality is that you start at the bottom, we all do. But, the good news is when you are at the bottom, there is nowhere to go but up. So, with just a little effort and perseverance, you see your life change before your eyes.

1. Have a plan

Working for minimum wage isn’t a plan, it is a cop-out. It isn’t that you won’t start with the lowest position possible. That not only builds character, but it also builds experience. But, choose a position or career that you want to excel at and that you can grow with.

Stop hopping from one dead-end job to another thinking the next dead-end sign isn’t there. There is no shame in taking the bottom rung of any job ladder. There is shame in not working toward anything at all. Instead of settling for a corporate slave or settling for something that kills you inside, have a plan and go towards it.

There’s no shame in starting over and going after your passion. It’s never too late to be what you want to be – that’s how to grow up. [Read: The checklist you need to successfully move out of your parent’s house]

2. Find out what makes you happy and build a future around it

The biggest mistake I see in the Millennial generation is they make their decisions for their future based on nothing but money. Taking a high-end career path might bring you a lot of money, but if it makes you miserable, what you find is that money truly can’t find happiness.

Instead, focus on the thing that makes you feel alive and brings you to life. Whatever fuels your soul, that’s what you should pursue. Money doesn’t define everything, and you’ll soon begin to realize that.

Be creative, but focused, and take your talent and make it something lucrative that you can really grow, and grow up, with. [Read: 12 steps to help you change your life and find your happiness]

3. Take responsibility

Learning how to grow up maturely means taking responsibility for our actions. That means not always blaming someone else that you lost your job or that you didn’t get the apartment you wanted. If there’s anything you did, that also means taking responsibility that you might not have done everything you could. That’s okay.

You can continuously improve and become better, but you can’t keep blaming others. At the end of the day, this is your life and your life alone. The outcome of your life is nobody’s fault but your fault. It might sound harsh, but it is the brutal truth.

If you want to play the blame game, it makes you feel suitable for a while. But, in the end, it keeps you stuck and keeps you from growing up and accepting responsibility for your future. [Read: 12 insightful lessons to help you have a better life]

4. Work hard

If you want to grow up, then you must realize that nothing comes for free. If you are tired of not having enough money, stop bitching about it, get a second job, and start investing. You can complain forever, but you’ll never get anywhere if you don’t begin to take action towards your goal.

You got fired? Stop complaining and do something about it. Only immature people think they get something from nothing. Not many successful grown-ups get there by never rolling up their sleeves and getting their hands dirty. Nothing in life ever comes easy.

Every successful person has gotten to where they are because of determination and hard work, not luck. If you want to learn how to grow up, then start making the necessary action steps towards your goals. [Read: 10 songs to help you work hard for your success]

5. Stop going with your back-up plan

 If you constantly turn to mom and dad to bail you out of jams, you aren’t ever going to get a shot of reality. Learning how to grow up means pretending that it is a make it or break it on your own merits situation. No one is going to save you but yourself. So, stop turning to plan B and figure your own way out.

The more you keep going with your back-up plan, guess what? You’ll also end up with a back-up life. This won’t be the life you envisioned for yourself, and it’s all because you never learned to risk going after what you really want. You always went with the safe and comfortable road instead of going out of your comfort zone. [Read: 5 powerful steps to break out of your comfort zone]

6. Realize that you don’t deserve anything

You know that old phrase “The world doesn’t revolve around you?” It wasn’t just a saying. It was a way adults tried to tell you that you aren’t entitled to anything. If you need something, no one owes you anything, not your parents, not your relatives, no one.

Until you realize you aren’t the center of the universe and that no one has an obligation to care about you, but you, you won’t ever grow up.

So stop thinking you’re always entitled to get everything you want and that every outcome will go precisely as planned. Life will disappoint you repeatedly and until you learn to accept this, you will never grow up. [Read: 15 reasons you can’t figure out the next steps in life]

7. Life really is not fair

Just because you didn’t get into the college of your dreams or you got passed over for the promotion you thought you were entitled to, there isn’t anything you can do about it but start over and try harder. The reality is that life isn’t fair and sometimes we don’t get what we want. We get what we need.

Instead of always pouting because you can’t have what you want, count your blessings and be happy for what you do have. Everything you have is a reflection of hard work and persistence, but it’s also a reflection of where you’re meant to be.

So you can’t rely on destiny or fate alone – you need to work for the path you want. Life will never be fair, so you need to get out of that fantasy you’re living in your head. [Read: How to start over and win: 12 keys to finding your second chance]

8. Learn to delay instant gratification

If you want to learn how to grow up, you can’t rely on instant gratification all the time. People today are used to getting what they want NOW. They never stop to think about how they can work hard for their goals and dreams. Similar to the things already mentioned above, you want immediate success and happiness.

But that’s now how life works. When you rely on instant gratification, you don’t know how to work hard for your goals or even achieve them. You want things to happen right away, and that’s where the problems begin. You will never have the maturity to live the life you want if this is always your mindset. [Read: Characteristics of millennials: the give it to me now generation]

9. Know your priorities

Knowing your priorities is such an essential part of growing up. If you don’t know your priorities, you will constantly put the wrong things first and live a life full of regret and complacency. For instance, instead of prioritizing work, you prioritize feeling good and partying all the time. This isn’t growing up.

You need to know your priorities and if it really is a struggle for you, list down all your priorities and rank them from most important to least. We can’t stress this enough, but knowing your priorities is how to live the life you want unapologetically without regrets. [Read: Should you never make someone a priority?]

10. Be self-reliant

Being self-reliant doesn’t mean you don’t need other people, and you entirely shut them out. Instead, it’s just owning your independence and confidence that you can stand on your own and be your own person. So if you’re always relying your decisions on the approval of others or on your parents, this is not being self-reliant.

It’s important to have this quality since being self-reliant makes you go towards choices that are purely your own, and not influenced by others. It also gives you the confidence you need to chase after the life that makes you truly happy. [Read: How to be more confident with 12 simple daily self-love habits]

11. Everything you do has an effect

Cause and effect have a role if you want to learn how to grow up. Everything you do and every decision you make has a particular reason, and you need to always remember this. So you can’t make a bad decision and expect a good outcome as that rarely ever works out.

For instance, if you choose not to apply for a job and just do whatever you want, that will have a consequence. The effect might not come right away, but it’s always there. [Read: What should I do with my life to make it better?]

12. Be open-minded

If you’re serious about learning how to grow up, you need to be open-minded. So if someone has a different opinion than you do, you don’t force your beliefs down their throat. Instead, you listen to them and heartily exchange ideas without attacking them because you’re in the right.

This is such an important thing you need to learn, especially as not many people have this. We all tend to be self-righteous, especially with controversial things like religion, politics, and the like. Even in your career and to succeed, you need to learn how to accept different ideas and points of view from others.

13. Always look for growth opportunities

Growth is essential if you want to learn how to grow up, so you can’t be someone who’s just contented with where they are. Have a growth mindset and always be open to opportunities where you can better yourself. Otherwise, you will always lose in life.

You will have a highly stale and dull life if you don’t let yourself grow and become better. Even if the road to growth and personal development is often scary and uncomfortable, it’s necessary to be mature. [Read: How to improve yourself: 16 powerful secrets of self-improvement]

14. Never stop learning

Similar to the one mentioned above, you need never to stop learning. Don’t be so fast to assume that you’re the best person in the room just because you’ve become better. You will always have more to learn as long as you’re still alive.

Every day is a chance to learn something new and broaden your knowledge, so don’t be complacent with your learning. Always find things to learn; you’ll be surprised how much there is you don’t know yet.

[Read: How to build self-confidence: 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]

So, how to grow up?

Understanding how to grow up is not an easy thing to do. If you thought puberty was difficult, then welcome to the real world. Even if society grabs you kicking and screaming, you need to grow up at some point.

You aren’t going to feel very good about living in your parent’s basement in your thirties, and you know what, it’s right around the corner. It takes a lot of responsibility, maturity, hard work, and confidence to actually grow up. [Read: The 12 steps you need to grow up and be happy in life]

We all have to grow up as we can’t live in la-la land. Learning how to grow up is something you need to learn at some point in your life.

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Julie_Keating
Julie Keating
A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined in...
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