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Why Do I Hate People? 16 Reasons & Ways To Let Go & Find Happiness

If you keep asking yourself why do I hate people, you’re not a bad person for thinking this way. However, you can always change your feelings.

why do I hate people?

Constantly thinking why do I hate people doesn’t mean you’re heartless or you don’t care. As you grow older, it’s completely normal to have a lower tolerance for people, especially those you don’t particularly like. It’s easy to be triggered by things that annoy you, even if it’s as simple as their presence.

When you think why do I hate people, it’s easy for people to let you down. You give them your entire trust and faith, and people always find ways to break that trust.

The reason that people are so hate-able is simple – no one is perfect. But, it might be time to change your mindset, or you’re going to live a very lonely life. Nobody’s perfect, which means that they’re just as flawed as you are.

Rather than expecting the world to adjust for you, choose to adjust your thinking instead. [Read: How to deal with hate and stop hating someone]

Why do you hate people?

Look, you’re not a bad person for thinking this way. In fact, it’s human nature to have this thought at least once in your entire life. But it’s not exactly healthy to have this thought on the regular, either. Let’s take a look at the possible reasons behind your thoughts of why do I hate people? 

1. People often let you down

Unfortunately, people will disappoint you and let you down. This is one of the common reasons behind thinking why do I hate people?

If you’ve been let down several times in your life, then it’s understandable to shy away from people entirely, thinking they’ll constantly bring disappointment and pain. Maybe your best friend stabbed you in the back, or your mom abandoned you at a young age.

Whatever happened, it clearly caused you enough pain to hate people entirely. [Read: Calm your mind – How to get the inside voices out of your head]

2. People make you insecure

Maybe you shy away from people because others highlight your weaknesses and flaws. You try so hard to love yourself and be secure, but others will constantly pick on your insecurities and worst mistakes.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to rise above those people who manage to always put you down – and that’s one of the primary reasons behind your thoughts of why do I hate people? [Read: People who put you down: How to face them and grow from within]

3. People have qualities you envy

We don’t always admit this right away, but one of the reasons why we end up hating people is because they have qualities you want to have yourself. What you need to remember is that every person was made unique and distinct. What one person has, another person lacks.

That’s the way the world works and the earlier you accept it, the better. Maybe they’re more successful, prettier, down to earth, or whatever qualities you’ve always wanted to have.

In the same way you envy others, realize that others could also envy you for similar reasons. [Read: Jealous vs. envious: The real differences most people overlook]

4. People can be fake

This is definitely one of the valid reasons behind your thoughts of why do I hate people? There will always be fake people in the world, no matter how hard you try.

However, you also have a choice in the matter. You could choose not to associate with fake people or use it as a lesson moving forward.

Everyone has certain experiences with fake individuals, but it doesn’t have to be a reason for you to resent people altogether. [Read: 14 Ways to instantly recognize fake people and stay away]

5. People use or manipulate you

There will always be people who will use or manipulate you, no matter how hard you treat people. Unfortunately, this isn’t something you can avoid. Manipulators and narcissists are a whole different breed, which makes your thoughts of why do I hate people completely understandable.

But not everyone is going to use you. We know that sounds hard to believe, but that’s a hard fact. [Read: When people use you: Stop being a doormat and feel in control again]

6. People can lie to you

Lies and deception are never easy things to deal with, but they’re part of life. People can lie to you and betray you for whatever reason they see fit. This isn’t something you can control; what you can do is choose how to react to that situation.

Even if the people you’ve come across with have lied to you, that doesn’t mean all people will lie to you. [Read: Types of liars: 14 ways to confront them and not lose your cool]

10 strategies to put down the hate and find peace

The more you dwell on thinking why do I hate people, the more you’ll live a miserable life. It’s time to take action and make a change.

1. Stop expecting too much

If you sit back and look closely, what you will find is your flaws. Don’t you think it’s a little unfair to hold a standard for others you can’t achieve yourself? The more you expect from others, the more disappointed you’ll be.

In fact, you’ll never meet anyone who’ll meet your standards if this is the case. Stop seeing the bar too high and just let people be themselves. Others are going to disappoint you in this lifetime, and that’s okay.

It’s part of what life is all about. Even if they don’t intend to hurt you, they will eventually – and this goes both ways. The more you expect, the more you’ll keep thinking why do I hate people so much.

The reality is, this mindset is something only you can change. Your hate for others comes from within you and nobody else. [Read: How to stop selfish people from hurting you]

2. Be guarded

The world is so judgmental nowadays that everyone judges you based on what they see. Often, this is just the tip of the iceberg and they don’t see the real story behind things. That is why it’s so important to be guarded, especially when you’re constantly consumed with thoughts of why do I hate people.

You might never stop living in fear that others are going to betray and hurt you. However, you can put your guard up and become more cautious of those you trust. Of course, you can never be a hundred percent bulletproof in trusting people, but at least it gives you some sort of peace.

It’s perfectly okay to have a friend you can trust and tell them your life story. However, being too self-disclosed upfront will always leave you open to being the source of discussion.

It leaves your life open to interpretation and judgment by strangers who aren’t entitled to give an opinion about your life. [Read: 5 big life lessons to deal with judgmental people]

3. Stay away from the pack

We’ve all experienced being part of a group of friends at some point in our lives. However, this can do more damage than good for your happiness and mental health.

Groups quickly become packs and develop an “us” and “them” mentality. It also establishes a situation where people have to take their role among the group. Often in groups, there’s one person who’s superior to the rest of the members of that group.

When you get attached to belonging to a group of friends, everything you do is validated by them. If you find that you hate people, then the best way to avoid being hurt is to have a couple of friends from different groups and avoid ever becoming a tight-knit part of a social circle. 

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t have friends ever – that’s insane. What we’re saying is to pick your friends wisely and don’t limit yourself to being just part of one group.

For all you know, this could be causing anxiety and your thoughts of why do I hate people. [Read: 17 bad friends you should unfriend from your life]

4. Stop caring what people think of you

Often, the reason that you hate people is that you simply can’t seem to figure them out or make them happy. The truth is, you’ll always live a miserable life if you never stop caring what others think of you. At the end of the day, you’re the only person that should validate yourself – nobody else.

If you are overly sensitive, it makes it very hard to like people. When you are highly sensitive, you may be reading social cues negatively when they aren’t meant to be that way. This means it’s very easy for you to take things personally, even when they’re not really mad at you, but are just dealing with a tough situation.

If your mood depends highly on what others feel, then it’s only natural to be consumed with thoughts filled with why do I hate people. You have to stop worrying about what others think of you as the world won’t stop turning if one person decides they don’t like you.

Instead, start validating yourself and doing things that make you happy. Do it not because others will like you more, but because it actually makes you happy. [Read: Sabotaging your happiness – 12 ways you could ruin your own life]

5. Let it roll

It’s very easy to overthink everything nowadays, which is why it’s also easy to hate people around you. However, holding grudges or constantly overthinking and over-analyzing situations can make you feel resentment that is only a waste of your time.

Being angry and resentful is such a waste of your time, especially when you realize not everything is about you. Someone’s anger or indifference isn’t necessarily direct towards you, but they’re unintentionally projecting it. Stop holding on to the things and people that make you miserable.

If someone is intentionally being toxic or abusive towards you or they’re treating you badly, don’t be afraid to cut them off completely from your life.

Yes, let things roll, but also learn when to say no every now and then. If you keep thinking why do I hate people, then maybe the best solution is to stop overthinking every action of the people around you. [Read: How to stop overthinking – 11 strategies for more peace]

6. Have one true friend

The one thing you need most in life is love, It would be preferable if you had an abundance of it, but it would also be okay if you had at least one true friend in your life. You need someone to depend your entire life on unconditionally, someone who you could trust without a second of a doubt.

The world can be so dark and lonely, that you need that one person to remind you that life isn’t as bad as we originally thought.

Along the way, if you can find just one true and honest friend, then you have done a pretty good job. Really, you don’t need a thousand or even a million friends to be happy. [Read: Life’s a bitch? 17 feel-good ways to make yourself feel better]

7. Realize there are peaks and valleys and forgiveness

We know you’ve been so used to your negative thoughts on why do I hate people, but try to think back to a time you didn’t hate people as much.

There was once a time you were filled with happiness, optimism, and joy. Remember when you used to trust people with your entire heart, even with the possibility that they’ll hurt you back?

How fond you were of people, even meeting strangers you could potentially form connections with? Remember who you were back then and realize you can still have that same mindset today.

No matter what trauma or pain you’ve been through, remember that the pain of the past doesn’t equate to the present.

If you want to stop hating people and feeling like people are basically not good, try to forgive the things that people might have said or done to you in the past.

Holding on to all that angst isn’t doing anyone any favors, especially you. No matter how much you dwell on the past, you can’t change what’s already happened. [Read: 15 types of toxic relationships to watch out for]

8. Learn to rest

One of the possible answers to your question of why do I hate people is because of burnout. This might not be a personal cause, but it’s a very common reason to be frustrated and annoyed with everyone you come across.

In fact, you might even project some of your stress and burnout to the people you love most without realizing it.

Burnout is a very real possibility of hating people, which is caused by overworking and not giving yourself enough breaks. Provided that we don’t always have control over our work schedules and careers, but you need to find the balance between your work and personal life.

You’ll always have work to come back to when you’re fully energized, but that’s not the case when you take advantage of your mental health entirely. [Read: How to reduce stress – 17 fastest hacks to a calmer and happier life]

9. Learn to socialize

Okay, this is a very important one. Humans were created towards the need for socialization, but not everyone knows how to. Some are categorized as introverts and while that’s okay, you shouldn’t hate people just because you’re introverted.

This also means you need to learn to adjust to the different personalities of everyone around you. The world won’t always fulfill your needs and wants. If you’re used to living in your comfort bubble, it’s time to change that.

Learn to socialize and maybe you’ll realize that people aren’t as bad as you think. You’ll find that a lot are bearable and amusing, and won’t drain your introverted energy as much. [Read: Introvert problems: 12 quick fixes to nip the bad ones in the bud]

10. Stop isolating yourself

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to push everyone away if you’re stuck in isolation and solitude? Whether you’re having a bad day or going through a depressive episode, stop pushing people away just because you’ve been accustomed to being alone.

You need to learn to let people in, even when you want to be alone. Otherwise, you’re going to spend your entire life without people to love and care about you all because you pushed everyone away. You think that you hate people but in reality, you just crave a real connection with someone. [Read: Things people hate about other people: 15 annoying truths we know]

Thinking “why do I hate people?”often comes with a reason – what’s yours?

The world can be a dark and negative place to live in and it can be easy to hate people. However, doing so will make you live a very miserable life. Hating everyone around you will encourage a life full of loneliness, despair, and misery. People might have a lot of flaws and shortcomings, but so do you.

Stop being unrealistic and realize that everyone, including you, is entitled to have their flaws. Perfection isn’t a standard you should be putting on anyone, especially others.

If you expect too much from the people around you, you are almost guaranteed to be disappointed and feel like you hate everyone.

Rather, find people who are worth your energy and affection, and stop wasting time on those who aren’t. In the end, if you are good with yourself, focus on your own happiness, and stop caring about others more than yourself, you will stop feeling like you hate everyone.

[Read: What am I doing with my life? 23 ways to start living without worry]

Hate is the most dangerous emotion to hold onto. Your thoughts of why do I hate people are caused by your expectations of others, which is why you need to stop striving for perfection. That might be ideal, but you’ll end up alone if you keep up with this expectation.

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...