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How to Not Be Annoying And Be Everyone’s Best Friend

You might think that you’re the life and soul of the party, but how can you be sure? Learn how to not be annoying and become a social whizz!

how to not be annoying

More often than not, dull or annoying people have no idea that they are rubbing others up the wrong way. There is undoubtedly a difference between being boring and annoying, yet people’s general reaction to both are similar. Either way, you do not want to be the one whom people run from or tolerate out of politeness. Learn how not to be annoying and side-step those issues, or if you already are, how to stop being annoying instead!

People who are annoying and/or boring tend to display similar personality traits. One is complete oblivion to how others are reacting towards them.

Being aware of your surroundings and the people you are with play very important roles in how others perceive you. [Read: Things people hate most about other people – 15 annoying truths you must know]

There is no doubt that you have had to deal with people who irritate or bore the socks off you. But, have you ever stopped to wonder if you are doing the same to others? Learn how to stop being annoying, if indeed that is the case, and become a social whizz instead!

How to stop being annoying and become the life and soul of the party

Maybe you came to the realization that you are annoying and boring on your own, or your friends staged an intervention to tell you off. Either way, here are all the things that you can do to curb the problem, and be less annoying starting today.

1. Be polite

It is hard to find fault with someone who has manners and is considerate to those around them. When you show others a sense of politesse and camaraderie, there is less of a chance that they will think of you as someone annoying or dull. You can learn how to stop being annoying simply by being more polite in many cases.

Remember that there is a very fine line between being an extrovert and an irritating person, and you would do very well for yourself if you knew the difference between the two. [Read: 10 tips to avoid being rude in any social situation]

2. Stop being a know-it-all

An acquaintance of mine has the very annoying habit of being a know-it-all. She does not even realize she is doing it, but it permeates every aspect of her life and every form of conversation she is involved in.

From speaking to her in person, to text messaging, to group chats, to Facebook posts, everything that comes out of her mouth and mind at any given time unflatteringly shows what a know-it-all she is.

The thing is, the information she churns out is not always accurate. Not just that, she seems to know everything about everyone, which is annoying, because it proves that the term “discretion” obviously flies right over her head.

Those close to her have come to terms with this very annoying part of her. Yet, people who meet her for the first time are usually very taken aback by her annoying tone and cocky aura.

If you see yourself in her, stop it now before everyone starts to snidely call you “Wikipedia” behind your back. [Read: 9 subtle differences between a confident & arrogant man]

3. Let others speak

A surefire way to be called the most annoying person in the room is to hog the floor.

You have to give others the chance to speak, no matter the time or place. Fun social situations do not develop out of one-man shows, so let others chime in and do not dominate the conversation.

As smart, talented, knowledgeable and hyper as you are, no one wants to hear you go on and on about your awesomeness. Unless of course, you’re on stage and everyone around you is your audience. If you want to know how to stop being annoying, give others a chance to say their piece. [Read: Do you think you’re a conversational narcissist who loves talking and hates listening?]

4. Make conversation with others

Say, for example, you are at a single’s mixer or your company sent you on a business conference abroad. Just because you do not know a soul does not mean you cannot engage strangers in intelligent conversation. It is even worse if you know the people around you, but do not make an effort to speak to them. [Read: How to start a conversation with a stranger & say the right things]

For example, if you are meeting your boyfriend’s friends for the first time, put in the effort to fit in. First impressions count more than you think. The last thing you want is to be pegged as, “Dan’s new, annoyingly dull girlfriend.”

Whether you don’t speak the language fluently or have a firm grasp of the topic at hand, all you have to do is try.

People will appreciate the effort that you put into trying to be a part of the group. Sooner rather than later, you will move on to topics that you are comfortable with. [Read: The guide to becoming a pro at small talk]

5. Stop staring at your phone

I conducted a basic survey amongst my social media friends and asked them what annoys them when they are out with a group of people.

100% of the participants listed “people playing with their phones” as one of their peeves. If you are the sort of person who has your phone glued to you, snap out of it. Please rejoin the real world.

I know someone who stays silent as a tomb during social gatherings because she cannot seem to pull herself away from her phone. I also think she is as dull as they come and is unable to contribute to conversations anyway.

But, I digress. Either way, she does not realize how ridiculous checking social media updates and playing brain cell-blasting mobile games throughout cocktails is.

The way I see it, go right ahead when you are alone. When you are out, have some respect for those around you and pocket your phone.

If you have to attend to business, excuse yourself and take care of it, but do not annoy the rest of the group by being a boring phone-nerd. That’s a very easy way to learn how to stop being annoying. [Read: Why phubbing is the rudest thing you can to anyone around you]

6. Be aware of your body

This may be a rather difficult one to control. But it all comes down to being mindful of what your body is doing. People with nervous habits or minor obsessive compulsive disorders will tell you that these little quirks are possible to keep under control. So, unless you have a serious medical problem, you have no excuse.

For example, steer clear from cracking your knuckles, as not everyone is fond of that highly annoying sound. Keep body movements like fidgeting and squirming to a minimal. This is an indication that you are uncomfortable, restless or bored.

Also remember to hold eye contact with the person you are speaking to. It is a basic show of respect. The last thing you want is to aggravate and annoy your social circle because you are unaware of what you are doing. [Read: How to make a great first impression and impress everyone you meet]

7. No need to be a loud mouth

People do not like loud mouths. When you are in a social setting, try to control your volume.

There is nothing wrong with being an outgoing person, but try to inject some class and awareness into your personality.

Ladies, I understand how exciting it is to reunite with your long lost sorority sisters, but spare us the horror of listening to your shrill voices.

Guys, even if you are at a bar getting smashed, there is no need to yell at one another unless you want the citizens of Timbuktu to hear you.

Just be mindful of your surroundings. Unless you are the only ones around, keep your conversations to yourself. Do not embarrass yourself or the people in your company, just because you have no sense of volume control. [Read: How to be classy – 20 classy people traits that command awe and respect]

8. Curb the gossiping

As the saying goes, “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”

You gossip a lot more than you realize. This is even more so when you have been out of touch with your regular social circle. Whether you have been abroad or simply too busy to catch up with friends on a regular basis, it is inevitable that the next meet up will involve plenty of gossiping. Learn how to stop being annoying by quitting the gossip.

It is totally normal to indulge in spiteful conversation about what she did or what he said, but when you make it a habit and constant topic of conversation, it is going to get onto people’s nerves.

Gossiping will only reaffirm their belief that you are dull, with nothing substantial to say and nothing better to do. [Read: Girly things: What your girlfriend’s really gossiping about]

If life has taught you anything, it is that gossip brings up more hurt and hate than anything else. So if you know what’s good for you, curb the gossiping.

I suppose at the end of the day, being boring or annoying is subjective. Some people may find your brashness charming whilst others may find your gossipy habit fun. For example, being loud at a bachelor’s party is fine, but not at a funeral. [Read: Male bonding vs female bonding- What are the main differences]

9. Learn how not to be annoying by not making it all about you

When you’re with someone you’re close to, someone you’ve never met, or a large group, don’t make everything about you!

There is nothing more annoying than a person who only wants to talk about themselves. Ask questions of those around you and make sure that you listen!

When you only focus on yourself, you show others that you can’t be bothered to listen to them. You also show them that they’re just not important to you. That’s not only annoying but extremely rude too. [Read: How to express yourself without appearing cocky or rude]

10. Learn how to listen properly

Most people think they know how to listen but they actually don’t.

Listening isn’t about allowing words to flow in and out of your mind. It’s about paying attention to what the person is saying, how they’re saying it, and what their body language is telling you.

There is nothing worse than someone who asks you a question and then drifts off as you’re answering it.

Listen to their words but also how fast they’re talking and whether they’re making eye contact with you. Are they muttering and fidgeting? Are they stumbling over their words?

These are all methods of knowing whether someone is lying, hiding their true intention, or feeling uncomfortable. [Read: 10 ways to be a better listener in your relationship]

11. Don’t constantly complain

Are you always negative? There is nothing more annoying than someone who is always complaining!

It’s normal to feel down sometimes but if you’re always “glass half empty” and never full, it’s time to start looking at how you can make strides towards positivity.

If you want to learn how to stop being annoying and actually make yourself feel better at the same time, stop complaining!

Learning how to not be annoying sometimes means making changes to the parts of you that need an overhaul. Being negative isn’t good for you or others.

Positive thinking will make you feel better about your life and it will also put you on the track to seeing all the amazing opportunities around you. It will also make you less annoying. Give it a try! [Read: How to think positive and reprogram your mind to stay positive]

12. Show empathy to others

If someone is going through a hard time, they don’t always want your sympathy, they want your empathy. Try putting yourself in their shoes and imagining how they feel.

There is something extremely annoying about someone who just can’t seem to fathom how it feels to be going through a specific situation.

All it does it make you look extremely insensitive and after a while, people won’t want to be around you. [Read: How to be more empathetic and forge emotional connections]

13. Stop making excuses

Is everything always someone else’s fault? Annoying, right? Can you imagine how annoying it is to those around you when you never take responsibility for your actions?

If you’ve said or done something wrong, hold your hands up to it. Don’t constantly blame other people for things that you’ve done or even things that are out of your control.

Being able to admit failure or a mistake makes you human. Not doing so makes you annoying at best.

14. How not to be annoying? Stop lying!

There s nothing worse than someone who lies on a regular basis. You can’t trust them and you never know what they’re going to come out with next.

Trust is an integral part of any friendship, relationship, or even any connection. It’s also true that to be a good liar, you have to have a very good memory. Not being able to keep track of your lies is a big red flag. [Read: Types of liars: 14 ways to confront them and not lose your cool]

Tell the truth. It’s really not that difficult. If you’re honest and open with people, they’re far more likely to accept you just as you are.

15. Giving unnecessary advice is a no, no!

Do you always wade in and try and give advice? Have you ever considered that perhaps people don’t want it?

It’s entirely possible that you’re giving advice to someone who’s perfectly fine as they are. Perhaps they don’t want you to speak about their issue, maybe they just want you to listen.

Someone who always gives advice, whether wanted or not, simply thinks they know better than everyone else. Unless you’re specifically asked for your advice, keep it to yourself. Even then, be very mindful of how your words of “wisdom” might make them feel. [Read: How to be less critical of the people around you]

It all comes down to the people you are with, how well you know them and the social setting you are in. Just remember to keep these tips in mind, be aware of what is going on, and you will be fine. When you do that, you’re on your way to learning how to stop being annoying.

[Read: On the flipside, here are 10 simple ways to calmly deal with people who annoy you]

It’s never too late to turn your social habits around. The next time you’re out with friends, follow these tips so that more people will genuinely enjoy being around you.

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Gemma Hsieh
Born in Singapore and raised in Canada to multi-racial parents, Gemma is a self-proclaimed travel and food junkie. Having traveled extensively around the world,...
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