Friendship is an important part of life. But when you have bad ones, it can really drag you down. Here are the signs that you have shitty friends.
Having shitty friends is really the worst thing to go through. You put your trust in someone else and they just end up being a crappy person who has offered you nothing but hardships. Sometimes realizing you have shitty friends can be worse than losing a lover.
Your friends also shape who you are. If you’re surrounded by bad people, your life will reflect that. You’ll be more insecure and have a lot more negativity present than you probably want. Knowing which friends are the bad ones can help you learn who to cut out.
Why you should never tolerate shitty friends
If you want to make your life better and richer, surround yourself with positive people who really care about you. That’s really the basis of it.
The better the people are in your life, the better you will be. And the happier you will be.
That’s why you should never tolerate less than the more amazing friends. If they’re not adding anything to your life or not building you up every single day, they’re not worth it. [Read: The types of toxic friends you need to ditch immediately]
Here are the reasons you should never tolerate shitty friends.
1. They’re exhausting
When you’re around negative people, they act like an “energy vampire.” In other words, they suck all the life out of you.
When you spend time with them, you leave feeling drained, and not happy. So, why would you want to keep doing that? Life is too short to be so exhausted. [Read: What is an energy vampire? 19 signs to spot them in your life]
2. They drag you down
If they are so exhausting, then that will drag you down too. Maybe they are always complaining and being negative.
Well, that might be making you into a negative person too just because you’re around them so much. And that’s not healthy for you.
3. They’re disrespectful
Everyone deserves to be respected. But if you have a shitty friend, you do not get the respect that you really should be getting. So, why would you want to be around someone like that?
It’s much more refreshing to be around people who treat you right. [Read: Fair-weather friends – 20 signs that your friend doesn’t care about you]
4. They affect your mental health
Because you are drained by them and they are dragging you down with you, it can ultimately affect your mental health. They might make you anxious or even depressed. This negativity can even manifest in your physical health too if it goes on too long.
How to know if you have shitty friends so you can drop them ASAP
If you’re growing a little suspicious of those people you refer to as friends, you may need a few signs to indicate that they’re not actually good friends at all.
Here are a few signs you might be keeping shitty friends around way longer than they deserve.
1. You’re always the first to initiate a hangout
When you’re the only person reaching out and, well, caring, it’s a problem. A friend who never wants to spend time with you probably isn’t a good friend. They only reach out when they need you. That’s a shitty friend. [Read: 8 signs you’re coming on way too strong]
2. Your texts go unanswered
Basically, whenever you send out texts, you hardly get replies. Then maybe a week later you’ll get a text apologizing, only to realize it’s because they need something from you.
These types of people are shitty friends. They don’t truly care about you or they’d respond no matter what.
3. They get mad at you for stuff they do all the time
AKA, they have so many double standards. They can ignore your texts but if more than a couple of hours goes by without you responding, they get pissed. This isn’t a true friendship. This is them practically using you for something. Ditch them. [Read: How and when to end a friendship if they’re toxic and holding you back]
4. They don’t support your goals
Anyone who doesn’t fully support your goals doesn’t belong in your life. As long as what you want to do is moral and doesn’t harm anyone else or yourself, they should be on your side.
They shouldn’t be sitting there making passive-aggressive comments about it. Nor should they doubt you. If they are, then you have shitty friends.
5. They’re talking bad about you behind your back
If other friends are coming to you with news that a couple of others are talking shit about you, then you clearly have really bad friends. They’re not friends if they’re being mean to you.
Sure, friends can be annoyed with you but actually talking bad about you is a whole other, more harmful thing. [Read: 23 signs of a mean person, why they’re bitter and how to handle them]
6. They talk bad about people you care about
On the flip side, they might be talking shit to your face, just about other people you still like and care about. And you shouldn’t ever tolerate that. It’s terrible.
It can be your family members or just other people. If they’re talking bad about others to you, they’re probably talking bad about you to others. Get rid of those shitty friends.
7. They prevent you from having fun
If they’re just full of negativity, they’re going to prevent you from having a good time. That’s just how those types of friends work. Whenever you go out for a good time, they end up making it horrible and they spoil all the fun. [Read: How to deal with someone’s negative traits and attitude]
8. Their drama always leaks over into your life
Even if you have nothing to do with their other group of friends and somehow you end up tangled in their drama, they’re probably shitty friends. When a person makes your life worse instead of better and just adds more harmful things to it, they’re not good friends.
9. You feel like you don’t really have friends
Even though you have people you call “friends,” you don’t feel like you truly have a friendship. If you feel lonely even when you’re surrounded by those people, we hate to break it to you but you have shitty friends.
No true friends would ever make you feel this way. [Read: 30 ways to overcome the feelings of loneliness]
10. You feel judged for your choices
Most people understand the feeling of being judged. You feel afraid to open up to your friends for fear of them judging you too harshly and making you feel bad for things.
If that’s the case for you, then you don’t really have good friends. You have shitty ones.
First of all, you should always feel comfortable going to your friends with anything. That’s the whole point of having friends, right? For them to help you out. If they make you feel judged, they’re not the type of people you should be spending your time with.
11. They don’t make you feel better when you’re upset
One of the best things about having good friends is being able to confide in them. When you can’t do that or you know your friends will only make you feel worse, then they’re not good friends.
In fact, they’re shitty friends. What’s the point of having friends when they don’t do good things for you when you’re upset? If they’ll only make rude comments or tell you how wrong you were, get new friends. [Read: One-sided friendship and 15 signs it’s time you cut them out of your life]
12. Your problems don’t matter to them
If you’re going through a crisis but your friends don’t give a shit, you don’t have friends. You have people who just call themselves your friends. More than likely, they’re just very selfish people.
They don’t care about your problems but the second they have an issue, they expect you to be right there. Ditch these types of “friends” and find better ones. [Read: 15 signs someone really doesn’t care about you]
13. You’d rather just relax by yourself than be with them
If you’d rather not see your friends and spend your time alone just because of how negative you feel whenever you’re around them, you have shitty friends.
You should want to spend time with your friends. You should want to be around them and have fun with them. If you’d rather be by yourself, there’s a problem.
14. Other friends are pointing out the problem person
If your other friends are continuously telling you that a specific person is an issue, listen to them. They aren’t just telling you that to make you mad. They might just see that those people are shitty friends even if you can’t.
15. They always leave you waiting
If you have shitty friends, they are probably always late when they meet you. You might be meeting them for a drink or dinner, and you show up on time.
But then they leave you waiting there for them for what seems like forever. You get angry because you could be doing something else with that wasted time.
It doesn’t matter if it’s two minutes or two hours that they keep you waiting, it’s just plain rude. There is no reason to keep people waiting unless they’re on a power trip. [Read: Friends using you? 20 signs your friend is a user and how to handle them]
So, if you find that you are always waiting for them to show up on time – and they never do – then you should consider dropping them from your life.
16. They give you the silent treatment
If your shitty friend is angry with you, they might not even tell you. They think you will have to figure it out when they give you the silent treatment.
Even when you ask what’s wrong, they either won’t tell you or they won’t accept your apology. [Read: How to respond to the silent treatment and stop being power-played]
Giving someone the silent treatment is so disrespectful. It’s even worse than yelling at them, because at least when you are yelling at them, you are acknowledging their presence. But when they give you the cold shoulder, it’s like they are pretending you don’t even exist.
17. They are not self-aware
Everyone else around the shitty friends can see how shitty they are too. You all see their bad behavior, and it’s pretty obvious to you. But not to your shitty friend. They have no idea how they are behaving at all because they have zero self-awareness.
They don’t know how their behavior is negatively affecting other people. And if they did know, they probably wouldn’t even care. They are so busy criticizing other people that they never take a look in the mirror to see who they really are. [Read: Codependent friendship – The bad signs and why it’s unhealthy for you]
18. They’re selfish
Some people are “givers” and some people are “takers.” If you are a giver, then your shitty friend is probably a “taker.” They have no problem being selfish. Everything is all about them, and they don’t care about your needs at all.
It could be anything from not caring where you want to go to eat or talking non-stop about their own problems and never caring to hear yours. The relationship is always one-sided with you always giving, and them always taking. [Read: Selfish people – 20 ways to spot and stop them from hurting you]
19. They take advantage of you
If they need to borrow money, they have no problem calling you to ask for it. Or, if they need a ride somewhere, you are the first person they call. They are always taking advantage of you and you feel used – like a doormat.
It’s never okay to take advantage of other people – ever. It is a horrible thing to do. So, if you think that you’re being taken advantage of by your shitty friend, it’s time to stop doing things for them.
20. You imagine a life without them, and like it
Daydreaming about a life without a specific person and enjoying it means they shouldn’t be in your life. It basically shows you that your life is better off without them. So listen to that instinct.
[Read: Am I a bad friend too? The bad friendship skills that push people away]
It’s not that hard to tell if you have shitty friends. Don’t put up with their bullshit any longer than you already have. You should only have room for kind, loyal, supportive people in your life.
