Everyone is capable of love, but not everyone is so great at showing it. This is how to show someone you love them in a genuine way.
Showing love is not as simple as saying, “I love you.” That can’t hurt, but showing love versus telling love is the difference between a good relationship and a great relationship. Showing love comes in many forms, from listening to intimacy and from making time to compromising. There are limitless ways to know how to show someone you love them. [Read: The heartfelt signs it’s the right time to tell someone you love them]
Show someone you love them with love languages
If you have never heard of the five love languages, this is a great place to start when it comes to knowing how to show someone you love them.
Everyone speaks with different love languages. The five love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Acts of service
3. Receiving gifts
4. Quality time
5. Physical touch
Everyone feels and receives love differently. So knowing which love language you and your partner primarily use is important to show love to them in a way they will understand.
For instance, words of affirmation are not something that I take as a sign of love. I was lied to a lot in past relationships, so telling me nice things wouldn’t mean much to me if someone wanted to show me love. However, spending quality time with me is my prime love language.
You can take a quick quiz online to find out your and your partner’s love language and go from there. Once you know what means the most to your partner, you can show love through those methods. [Read: What makes a good relationship?]
How to show someone you love them
On top of love languages, there is a lot that goes into showing someone you love them. Everything from making them dinner to fixing the toilet can be ways to show someone you love them.
So, if you are concerned that your actions aren’t portraying your feelings properly, consider these tips. Soon your partner will know for sure that you love them.
1. Support
Support is a major player in showing someone you love them. A lack of support shows a lack of love. Now support does not mean you have to agree with everything your loved one is doing. It does mean that you share your hesitations, but you let them make their own choices at the end of the day.
You may not think that your girlfriend starting a business is the best idea, but once you discuss it and make your worries known and she still decides to go ahead, you support her. You are there for her when she needs you, and you cheer her on. [Read: The signs a partner is supportive of your goals]
2. Respect
Respect is the foundation of any relationship. If you do not respect someone, you do not value their opinions or even their existence. And without that, there is nothing.
So if you want to know how to show someone you love them, make it clear you respect them. Don’t write off their ideas. Listen and hear them out. Have conversations, don’t shut them down. Respect needs to be mutual. [Read: How self-respect impacts your relationship]
3. Listen
Love can be misconstrued. You may think that you prove your love by taking action, but love does not need proof. It needs care. And it is a lot more caring to listen to someone and let them vent than it is to take care of their problems for them.
A sign that someone loves and cares is to be a good listener. Hear your loved ones when they speak. Sometimes just listening is enough. [Read: The art of being a better listener in your relationship]
4. Communicate
This is another vital part when it comes to learning how to show someone you love them. And communication does not mean simply telling someone you love them but communicating with all of your feelings, even the less than fun ones.
When you love someone, you trust them, so nothing is off the table. You have to communicate when things are going wrong, when you’re upset, and when things are wonderful. Ongoing communication is the pulse of maintaining a loving relationship, and without it, the relationship can be doomed. [Read: 14 ways to communicate in a relationship]
5. Help
Help is something some relationships lack. And what does that mean? Well, once a relationship has gotten comfortable, and each partner has found their place, it seems helping one another takes a back seat.
This help can be something as small as offering to carry groceries or making dinner to working on your partner’s resume with them. Offering help is more than a small gesture. It shows you pay attention and want to assist your loved one. Plus, it gives you more time together. [Read: The 25 sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life]
6. Compromise
Compromise is something so many people overlook when it comes to love. There is a misconception that love means giving up anything for this person. But in a functioning relationship, love means discussion and agreement.
To show someone you love them, you do not need to move to their city, quit your job, change your style, and alter your life. That is not love. That is a sure-fire journey to resentment town. Love is meeting halfway. You both give a little to get a lot. [Read: Compromise in relationships and how to give without losing]
7. Appreciate
This is probably the easiest and one of the most direct ways to show someone you love them. Show them that they are appreciated. Whether that means bringing home flowers, going out of your way to pick up their favorite dessert, or watching their favorite show that you hate, it shows appreciation.
And above giving gifts, saying thank you is so important. Not saying thank you for a gift or for being there in your time of need may seem like a small oversight, but lacking those small words can be perceived as taking someone for granted. [Read: How to be grateful for things you don’t appreciate enough in life]
8. Touch
Love is not all about sex, but intimacy is vital to showing love in a romantic relationship. Everything from a brush against their shoulder, placing their hair behind their ear, to a hug after a long day makes a world of difference.
When those small moments of tender touch are gone, all the other parts of a relationship put more pressure on them. But what is so amazing is that a fight can end with something as simple as a hug.
Make sure you kiss your partner before work, a cuddle on the sofa, and even a love tap while making dinner shows love. [Read: 20 types of physical touches and what each touch means]
9. Ask
Sometimes, when we love someone, it seems all about telling them. It seems to be about helping them, offering, giving, but asking is another way to show someone you love them. Asking your partner how their day was, their mom, or even what they did with their friends shows you’re interested.
You do not need to be nosy and ask about everything but a simple “how was your day, dear?” will suffice. [Read: 20 questions to ask your lover]
10. Laugh
Laughter is something that cannot be replaced by anything else. Laughing together and making each other smile is something relationships thrive on. Of course, laughter is only one of many ways to show someone you love them. Along with everything else, it makes such a difference.
You could show someone you love them with every action on this list, but if you lack humor in your relationship, you will both feel a bit, well, blah. [Read: The types of humor and their impact on a relationship]
11. Discuss it
Finally, if you have tried all of these methods to show someone you love them and they still don’t seem to see it or feel it, talk to them about it. Bringing it up is a great way to show them you love them and are willing to try whatever it takes to make sure they know it.
Ask them what they need from you to feel loved. This can open your eyes in ways you couldn’t even imagine. Everyone feels love differently. Whether they had issues in past relationships or with family, they can really clue you in on what they feel is lacking or needed from you.
Ways to show someone you love them
All of the things we previously discussed leaves a lot up in the air. You can learn how to show someone you love them, but sometimes you can’t think of those methods at the moment. Sure, you know you want to talk more and listen better, but what are some more precise ways to show someone you love them?
1. Put your phones away
How can you show someone you love them with your phone in your face? Give them some undivided attention.
2. Plan out time for each other
Don’t just spend time when you have time. Make time in your schedules for each other.
3. Spend time with their friends and family
You love your friends, but showing someone you love them means getting to know their people too.
4. Share cute messages
It makes a difference whether these are post-it notes with cute messages or just a winky face text throughout the day. [Read: 50 cute things to say to your crush]
5. Pick up their favorite snack
When you are running errands, grab their favorite snack. It seems like something so small but shows them that they are on your mind.
6. Help them destress
Suppose they are busy with work or had a bad day help them destress. Don’t pile it on. Make things easier by ordering dinner, doing their laundry, or giving them a shoulder massage.
7. Ask for their advice
Let them know that what they think matters to you. You trust their opinion and want to know what they would do.
8. Hold hands
PDA isn’t for everyone, but sometimes just a little subtle hand-holding can show someone you love them. [Read: 15 ways PDA can save your relationship]
9. Go on real dates
Once you are in a relationship, things get routine. Take time and go on real dates like you used to. Make plans.
10. Talk about the future
Plan out what will happen in the next few months or years. It doesn’t have to be set in stone, but talking about your potential future together shows them you want them with you longer.
11. Make sure they know you’re still attracted to them
A long-term relationship can get stale if your partner thinks you’re bored of them. Make sure they know you are still awed by their hotness.
12. Take practical steps together
Do things that may not seem romantic but show your commitment. Opening a bank account together, sharing a phone bill, and things like that seem practical, but show them you love and trust them.
13. Trust each other
I suppose this is a give-in, but it is so important that they know you trust them with your heart. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship]
14. Little surprises
Whether you lit candles and put flowers don’t eh table for a homecooked meal or planned out a binge watching session of their favorite show, these little surprises show the effort you’re willing to put in.
15. Do things they love
Don’t just do things you have in common. Showing someone you love them is about opening yourself up to what they love.
16. Let them know you’re thinking of them
When you’re at the store, call them and ask if they need something. It is so easy to go about your day without things like this, but it helps them know they are always on your mind.
17. Be open
Be vulnerable. Let them in. If you are feeling unsure of yourself or are having a bad day, don’t hide it.
18. Bond over what you have in common
Bond over your joint loves. Talk about the shows or sports you both adore. Take time to stay connected on the things that brought you together in the first place. [Read: How to build a bond early in your relationship]
19. Teach them something
Teach them something, whether it is how to cook their favorite meal or change a tire. Having patience with them will bond you.
20. Let them teach you something
Also, let them teach you something. Be willing to learn from them.
21. Celebrate them
To show someone you love them, celebrate them. Plan a little get-together when they accomplished a big task at work. Have a party for their birthday.
22. Make boring things more fun
If you are running errands together, try not to get weighed down by the boredom. Make it fun. See who can get half the stuff on the shopping list first. Play games and laugh.
23. Do a project together
Whether you are redecorating a room, building furniture, or anything else, being productive together helps you feel proud of your relationship.
24. Talk about sex
Sex is an important part of our relationship, but it can get routine if you don’t talk about it. Talk about what you want. Ask what they want. Is there something new you want to try? [Read: How to talk about sex without sounding awkward]
25. Take care of them
When they are feeling down, or sick take care of them. You don’t need to be a nurse but make sure they have what they need. You know they’d do the same for you.
26. Be romantic
Buy flowers, play music outside their window, dance alone in the living room. These little things seem silly, but they mean a lot. Those are the moments you’ll remember forever.
27. Joke around
Keep the happiness and laughter alive. Tell jokes, pull pranks, and have fun together. Not everything needs to be so serious.
28. Catch up
Live gets in the way sometimes. But, if you take the time to sit down and talk about how your week was, it really connects you. [Read: These sweet gestures will show your love without words]
29. Respect them
Respect is the best way to show someone you love them. This is what makes or breaks a relationship.
30. Give them space
This sounds counterintuitive, but you must remain two individuals. You don’t want to suffocate or overwhelm one another. Take time for yourselves. It makes you both become two better parts of the whole.
[Read: How to give space in a relationship without drifting apart]
It does not have to be hard to figure out how to show someone you love them. When you love someone and mean it, all of these things should come naturally.
