Can a savvy sitcom help you understand more about love and relationships? Of course, if it leaves you pondering over a few profound questions!
Let’s face it, every twenty- or thirty-something here has seen at least one episode of Sex and the City. And for a lot of us, it was one of the best series of the late 90’s to early 2000’s.
It was a series that any woman could have related to, whether you’re the conservative Charlotte, the cynical Miranda, the sultry Samantha or the insightfully delightful Carrie. It was the perfect mix of sex, relationship advice, high fashion and humor.
What SATC questions are we dying to get answered?
As you may notice, Carrie asks questions that she answers in her column. Though we never really get to read the column, we get a glimpse of what her answers are within each episode. So for those of you who want the answers to some of Carrie’s most inquisitive and profound queries, here are the answers we’ve come up with.
#1 If models could cause otherwise rational individuals to crumble in their presence, exactly how powerful was beauty? (Season 1, Episode 2)
Let’s be honest, beauty is indeed powerful. It can stop you dead in your tracks and it can help you sell millions of dollars worth of products. Yes, beauty is a marketing asset, but it’s not really the most important one when it comes to relationships. Beauty is just one side of the picture, because behind a pretty face and a hot body, you also need the personality to back it up. Sure, beauty gets you the guy, but it’s what’s inside that makes you keep him. [Read: Why is inner beauty more important than outer beauty?]
#2 In a city of great expectations, is it time to settle for what you can get? (Season 1, Episode 9)
People have expectations, sure, but these expectations aren’t always the strictest standards that you have to follow. For one thing, being with someone who’s not your ideal image of the perfect partner shouldn’t be considered as settling. However, if they don’t meet the bare minimum of what you’re looking for in a partner, such as stability, common interests, awesome sex and the works, then you may be settling, and you may be better off severing ties and finding someone who can meet at least half of your expectations. [Read: 16 signs you’re settling for what you can get]
#3 In a gravity-free world of “anything goes,” what constitutes as cheating? (Season 2, Episode 6)
Cheating is such a tough term to define because there aren’t always any overt means of checking if it’s happening. For instance, you may not even be sure of how you feel about someone who’s not your partner. In essence, cheating should be defined within the confines of your relationship. Talk it out with your partner. Ask them what they would consider as cheating, and take it as your guide for what not to do. [Read: The many types, twists and turns of cheating]
#4 In a relationship, is honesty really the best policy? (Season 3, Episode 12)
Honesty matters. A lot. But it shouldn’t be the absolute best of all policies. When you’re with someone, there’s more than just honesty to think of. Respect, love and care are some of the other policies that you should keep in mind. After all, just because you’re honest with your partner, doesn’t mean you’ll have a successful relationship.
Also, honesty should be combined with a bit of tact. Even if your intentions are pure, your partner may not take kindly to certain types of criticism when they’re expressed too harshly.[Read: 9 ways to master the art of constructive criticism]
#5 How do you know if you’re good in bed? (Season 2, Episode 16)
This is one of the questions that probably still don’t have an answer. Being good in bed depends entirely on who you’re in bed with. There’s really no 100% foolproof means of learning how to be good in bed. You may just need to count on your partner to give you enough feedback.
One way you can find out is by checking to see how often your partner asks you to do something differently. This may be a sign that you need to improve on your skills a little more. However, just because you don’t get any comments from your partner, doesn’t mean you’re a superstar in the sack.
As a general rule, be sensitive to your partner’s responses when you’re in bed. If you get a good response, keep at it. If you get a bad response or no response at all, consider changing things up a bit. [Read: How to please your man in bed, and everywhere else]
#6 At the end of yet another failed relationship, you have to wonder what’s it all worth? (Season 4, Episode 16)
We often have a knack for finding lessons in order to make a bad experience worthwhile. In the end, despite a bruised ego or a feeling that we’ve wasted years on a failed relationship, we’re still eager to seek out the things that we’ve learned.
And it doesn’t even have to be profound wisdom that we carry with us. It can be something as simple as being interested in something your ex partner introduced you to. It might even be the expanded network of friends that you’ve gotten to know, thanks to your ex. Right after the breakup, you may feel that the relationship was never worth the time and effort you spent on it. But after some time, you’ll realize that these failed relationships help mold you into who you are today. [Read: 15 lessons to learn from your own breakups]
#7 Do we need distance to get close? (Season 6, Episode 6)
Yes, yes, and definitely yes. Being close to someone doesn’t entail being around them 24/7. Instead, being close is fostered by how well you can still jive despite being apart for some time. You can go off and explore all sorts of places and activities, and when you come back to your partner, you can bond over the experiences you’ve had, when you weren’t spending time together. Give yourselves time to miss each other, and you’ll find that your reunion becomes so much sweeter. [Read: How to give your partner space in the relationship]
#8 Can you really forgive if you can’t forget? (Season 4, Episode 7)
The saying “forgive and forget” was created with good intentions, but it’s not exactly the best advice anymore. The point of forgiving a partner is expressing that you accept their apology, and you want some form of assurance that their misdeed won’t happen again.
Forgetting about the entire thing will just turn you into a doormat who keeps forgiving something that’s being repeatedly done. Remember that this has been done before, and keep in mind how many more times you’ll be able to take it before telling your partner to hit the road.
#9 Can you be friends with an ex? (Season 2, Episode 18)
It depends. Some relationships are so filled with passion that they end with passionately hurtful words. And it’s hard to stay friends with someone who has hurt you that way. On the other hand, some relationships are pretty calm and they end with a mutual agreement to part ways.
These types of relationships have a potential to turn into genuine friendship. However, there’s always that risk that you might reignite the spark. This then begets the question: Can you STAY friends with an ex? [Read: Can you really become friends with your ex?]
#10 Soul mates: Reality or torture device? (Season 4, Episode 1)
The media has fed us fantasies about meeting our soul mate and living happily ever after. The thing is, soul mates are made, not just found. When two people meet, they might be two pieces who don’t fit in together smoothly just yet. In time, these two people learn how to complement each other. They learn how to become each other’s ideal partner. And eventually, they become perfect for each other. That’s the time when people become soul mates. [Read: 10 things that will bring your soul mate to you]
Sometimes, it takes a bit of fiction to give you a helpful dose of reality. These 10 questions may have been asked by a fictional character, but you can be sure that the idea behind those questions would resonate well enough when dealing with relationships.
