Home  >  My Life  >  Relationships

28 Truths About Feeling Alone In a Relationship & How to Fix It ASAP

When we are in a romantic partnership, it’s not a good sign when you are feeling alone in a relationship. Here are some truths to face and what you can do.

feeling alone in a relationship

For most people, being in a relationship means that they always have someone to be with, laugh with, share their secrets with, and just keep them company. However, some people still feel like they’re alone in the world, even if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. And the worst part is that even if you are feeling alone in a relationship, you may not even realize why or how you got to this negative place.

Not only is this a sign of an unhealthy relationship, but it also makes them feel more alone than they’ve ever been since they’re supposed to be feeling cared for when you’re loved by someone.

The truth about feeling alone in a relationship is that it just sucks. Nobody should feel alone when they have someone to share their life with.

Loneliness isn’t always caused by isolation

Some people can be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel as if they’re all alone in the world. They could have the best friends in the entire world, yet they feel like nobody is on their side.

As it turns out, loneliness can actually be a mental health disorder. Some people are just programmed to feel lonely, no matter what happens in their life.

[Read: Why you feel lonely in a relationship and what to do about it]

The truths about feeling alone in a relationship

In order to really understand what it feels like to be lonely in a relationship, you’ll have to understand the truth behind it. These are all the truths about feeling alone in a relationship that you probably never knew before.

1. It can mean your relationship isn’t healthy

The biggest reason why you might feel alone in a relationship is that your relationship isn’t healthy. Feeling lonely when you have someone to share your life with isn’t normal. [Read: 24 sad signs of an unhealthy relationship that ruins love forever]

2. It’s not always your fault

The truth is that not all of your loneliness is your fault. In fact, it might not be your fault at all. Sometimes, the problem can be because your partner isn’t being as supportive as they should be.

Another reason why it isn’t always your fault is that you may have a condition that makes you feel really lonely even if you’re surrounded by people whom you love and care about. [Read: Why do I feel alone all the time? 14 truths that can change your life forever]

3. It can be the worst feeling in the world

When you’re feeling alone in a relationship, you may feel like you’re failing at life because this is the time when you’re supposed to feel the least alone. You’re supposed to be in love and enjoying the company of a loved one 24/7.

Yet there you are, suffering through loneliness with someone right next to you. It really makes you feel even worse about yourself than just being alone. [Read: The 3 stages to embrace and overcome loneliness]

4. It might be from poor communication

One cause of feeling alone in a relationship is that there’s not a whole lot of communication going on. If you start feeling lonely but you don’t talk to your significant other about it, how are they supposed to help?

Once you do feel alone in your relationship, it becomes harder and harder to open up to your love and tell them what’s going on. It can even be caused by their inability to open up to you, as well. [Read: Lack of communication in the relationship and why it signals the end]

5. It’s extremely hard to fix

Only you and your partner can really fix the loneliness that you feel. But since this emotion can snowball into a lot of other problems, you’ll find that it can be really hard to fix once it has gotten to a certain point. This truth about feeling alone in a relationship isn’t great to hear, but it’s accurate. [Read: How to know a relationship is over – 33 signs it’s over for good]

6. You feel unhappy almost all of the time

Feeling alone in a relationship is basically synonymous with feeling sad all the time. You never really feel happy, because loneliness isn’t something that most people find joy in.

You feel like you’re stuck in this never-ending rut that you can’t seem to find your way out of. [Read: 16 signs you’re settling in an unhappy relationship]

7. You could be shutting your partner out

Have you ever considered that the reason you’re feeling so lonely is that you’re isolating yourself from your partner?

There are plenty of people who feel lonely, but it’s because they refuse to share information with their significant other.

You might be in a sad mood, so you feel that you have to keep to yourself in order to protect yourself from hurting anymore. This could be causing your loneliness.

8. The sex isn’t fun

This is just an honest truth about feeling alone in a relationship. The sex sucks.

Great sex requires an intimate connection with your significant other. Thus, if you’re feeling lonely even when you’re with them, the sex won’t be any different. It will feel detached and impersonal. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 sexy ways]

9. It feels like you’re basically single

This is another cold, hard truth about feeling alone in a relationship. It basically feels like you’re single – except worse.

You’re constantly around the person for whom you care the most, yet you don’t feel supported or that you’re part of a team.

10. You feel like giving up

When you feel alone in a relationship, you oftentimes just want to give up. You may think, “What’s the point of trying too much when I’m just going to feel alone, anyway?” 

But even if you do feel alone, you should never give up, unless that person truly is making you miserable. Talk to someone and see if there’s a way to solve your problem. [Read: 16 things you need to give up to have a happier life]

11. You stop talking to them

A lot of people who are feeling alone in a relationship end up self-sabotaging in a way. Maybe they didn’t start by shutting out their partner.

But after they feel lonely for so long, they give up and decide that there’s no point in trying to talk to them now.

12. You don’t want to go anywhere with them

And we don’t blame you. Why would you want to go out and about with someone who makes you feel alone when you’re with them?

The problem with this is that you’re only adding to the problem by isolating yourself from the rest of the world. Trying to go out and have a good time anyway, though, could actually help mend the issue and give you and your partner a chance to open up communication again. 

13. You feel as though your relationship has ended when it’s still going strong

And this can send you into a downward spiral of fear and anxiety. The truth about feeling alone in a relationship is that you may feel as though your relationship has ended or is close to ending, when, in reality, it might be perfectly fine otherwise. [Read: 10 steps to take to tell your partner you’re unhappy]

14. Your partner usually doesn’t even know

One of the hardest things about feeling alone in a relationship is that your partner might not know how you feel.

This just reiterates the fact that you are lonely when your partner doesn’t know about your suffering. If this is the case, you need to talk to them. They will help you if they truly care about you.

15. You’re always afraid

You’re afraid that the loneliness is a sign that you shouldn’t be with that person. In addition, you’re afraid of confronting the issue, you’re afraid of how lonely you might feel if you no longer have a relationship at all.

This fear can be debilitating if you don’t nip it in the bud early. You could end up going down some scary roads because fear can make people do crazy things. [Read: How to overcome the fear of losing the one you love and live happily]

16. Your partner ignores you

You might be in the same room as your partner, but they don’t talk to or even look at you. It’s almost like you’re invisible and don’t exist. When you try to engage in a conversation, they look at you like you’re crazy and they want you to shut up.

That’s why you’re feeling alone in the relationship. No one should be ignored when they are in partnership. Because it is rather toxic when you are. [Read: Not happy in a relationship? How to choose the right path for you]

17. You feel like you’re the only one who tries

If you’re being ignored, then you are probably the only one who tries to put in any effort into the relationship.

You ask your partner for date night, but they either refuse or don’t follow through. Maybe you try to do something romantic for them, but they do nothing for you. [Read: One-sided relationship – 12 sad signs and ways to fix it before it ends]

If you feel like you’re in a relationship with a brick wall *and a brick wall does nothing* and the relationship is one-sided. This is very unhealthy because it takes two people to make a relationship successful – not just one.

18. They avoid spending time with you

Whether you live separately or together, they try to avoid you at all times. They might have excuses like they have other plans. Or, they might simply isolate themselves in another room in the house far away from you.

When they do things like this, they are avoiding spending time with you for some reason. But regardless of why they are doing it, it sure makes you feel alone in the relationship, doesn’t it? [Read: What to do when your boyfriend doesn’t want to make any time for you]

19. Making plans without them

Maybe your friends or family want to all get together to do something fun, like go to a concert. If you are excited to do that, but you don’t even bother including your significant other, then you might as well be single.

It could be that you don’t think they care, or at least they don’t want to go. But couples should do things together, not alone. So, if you’re making plans without them, then that’s another reason why you feel so alone.

20. You don’t share news with them

If you have a big interview coming up or if you won $50 in the lottery, you don’t even think about sharing the good news with your partner. You probably want them to care, but you know they won’t.

When you don’t have a significant other with whom you can share the highs and lows of life, then what is the point of even having one? They should want to hear what’s going on in your life at all times. [Read: Why feeling disconnected in a relationship doesn’t always mean it’s the end]

What to do if you are feeling alone in a relationship

Now that you know what the sad truths are of feeling alone in a relationship, what can you do about it? Here are some things you can try.

1. Talk to your partner

This might sound ridiculous, but maybe your partner is so unaware of themselves that they don’t even know that they are ignoring you. Believe it or not, that happens.

So, even though you think they should already know that you feel alone in the relationship, you need to tell them. They need to know how their behaviors are negatively affecting you. That is the first step.

2. Do something nice for them

After you have that conversation for them, try to put some extra effort into the relationship yourself.

Make them a romantic dinner at home with candlelight. Or buy them something you know they like. Hopefully, this will spark them to reciprocate and do something for you too. [Read: The sweetest romantic gestures you can use in everyday life]

3. Be yourself

Some people try to be someone other than themselves when they are feeling alone in a relationship. They are so desperate to get their partner’s attention that they try to change.

But don’t do that. Just be yourself. If your significant other doesn’t appreciate you, then it’s their loss.

4. Express gratitude

When a couple is together for a long time, they start to take each other for granted. This is never good because everyone needs to feel appreciated in a relationship.

So, you should start the ball rolling and express gratitude to your partner. Hopefully, they will appreciate that, and start doing the same to you. [Read: How to show your appreciation to someone and express your gratitude]

5. Try counseling

If you have tried to do all of these things but you are still feeling alone in your relationship, then you should ask your partner to go to couple’s counseling with you. Sometimes it takes a trained professional to help you both work through your problems together.

6. End the relationship

If you’ve tried everything you can *or your partner won’t go to counseling with you*, then you might have to end the relationship.

It might not be easy, but there is no reason to feel alone in a relationship. At least if you are single, there would be a good reason to feel that way! Then, you can go find someone you are more compatible with.

[Read: How to break up with someone you love – 18 steps and the things to say]

The truth about feeling alone in a relationship is simple: it sucks. That being said, finding someone to talk to, whether a friend, family, or your partner, can help you feel yourself again.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

LovePanky icon
Team LovePanky
The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...