You’ve been going on date after date, but nothing seems to be working out for you. Maybe it’s time you learned how to take a break from dating.
Contemplating how to take a break from dating might feel scary and counterintuitive if you’re looking to find the one. Sometimes we need the space to really evaluate who we are and what we really want in life and in a relationship.
I was in the dating world for a long time. I used every tool I could find to help me meet someone. There were the online dating apps, and I met friends of friends, everything. And nothing seemed to be working out for me. I would meet guys who didn’t want the same things as me or ghosted me after a couple of dates.
You know the story. And then, I just decided to stop. I had enough. I was over wasting my time meeting people who didn’t want the same things as me. So, I took a break from dating.
[Read: Single for life? How to enjoy the ride and find the one along the way]
Sometimes, when you’re pushing too hard for something, you overwork it. I wanted to meet someone so badly, but I was forcing it to happen. I needed to take a break and reevaluate what I wanted in my life and spend some time reconnecting with me. And after that break, I ended up meeting my current partner, the man who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
How to take a break from dating: 12 healthy ways forward
Not all breaks are bad. Sometimes you just need that time to breathe and check-in with yourself. So, if you want to take a break from dating, this is how to do it.
Sometimes, you just need a break. And that’s okay!
#1 Out with the old. Go through your phone, social media, dating apps, and just get rid of guys you dated in the past. Do you really need to be in contact with them? You know they weren’t for you, so why keep them around? Out with the old and in with the new. Do a cleanse and get rid of your past. [Read: 11 things about being single that people fear the most]
#2 Learn to be happy with yourself. We all want to find someone so we’re not lonely, but that’s the wrong mindset. You shouldn’t be lonely; you have yourself. You’re interesting, funny, and confident. What you’re looking for is someone to share your experiences with, but it’s not out of fear of being alone. [Read: How to not feel lonely and chase your lonely blues away]
#3 Take yourself out on a date. You removed your past from your life, and now it’s time to invest your time on the most important person: you. Don’t be afraid to treat yourself and give yourself the attention you deserve. If you want to build your confidence, treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Get all dolled up and take yourself out for dinner.
#4 Decide how long you want this break to last. How long do you want to go on a break? One month? Half a year? You decide. Of course, things may change, and you may want to increase or decrease your break. It’s all up to you. But give yourself a timeline. This will help to keep you focused on what you need to think about.
#5 Create a routine for yourself. When you wake up in the morning, what do you do? Create a routine for yourself. Whether you decide to grab a coffee and read, workout, or meditate, create a healthy morning routine that’ll help start your day on a positive note. [Read: How to stop self-destructive behavior and change your life for good]
#6 What do you want? This is a great time to explore this question. What do you want out of your life? What are you looking for? Most of us don’t ask ourselves this question; instead, we just go along with what everyone else is doing. But, you need to decide what you really want out of your life.
#7 Reassess the type of person you want as a partner. Now that you’re on a dating break ask yourself what type of partner you want. Who do you want them to be? What qualities should they have? Now that you’re out of the dating scene, you’ll have time to self-reflect on your dating experiences and help you answer this question.
#8 Expand your social circle. We’ve become a little hermit-like over the past couple of years. Though dating apps have helped us meet people, they’ve also disconnected us from one another. It’s time you said yes to more social engagements and met new people. Make new friendships, who knows where they’ll go.
#9 Do things you always wanted to do. If you’ve always wanted to go scuba diving, now’s the time! You’re going to be saving yourself some money from going on all those dates, so invest your saved dollars into doing activities that make you happy. Explore and try new things, who knows; you just may come across a new hobby.
#10 Go through your emotional baggage. You may not have cleared up the skeletons in your closet, and this could be preventing you from finding the partner you want. Instead, you keep meeting people who are like your ex, for example. Now’s the time to sit with yourself and go through your past, cleaning it up. [Read: Want to fall in love? Change these 8 self-sabotaging habits]
#11 Talk to a professional. I love therapy and am a huge advocate for it. Therapy changed my life. If you’re struggling to meet someone you connect with or have had a traumatizing experience in your past relationships, talk to a professional about it. They’ll be able to help you process things and move on.
#12 Get yourself a sex toy. You said you’re taking a break from dating, right? So, you’ll need something to help you scratch that itch when the time comes. Find yourself a sex toy that works for you. You’ll be shocked at the confidence and satisfaction you’ll feel once you can control your own sexual pleasure.
[Read: How to pleasure yourself and teach your fingers how to bring it]
If you feel you need to learn how to take a break from dating, then you need it! Now you have everything to help you find out more about yourself and what you want in your future.