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25 Honest Truths & Ways to Stop Feeling Ignored By Someone You Like

Are you feeling ignored by someone in your life? That never feels good, does it? Here are some reasons why, and what you can do about it to feel better.

how to stop feeling ignored by someone you love

If you’re feeling ignored by someone you really like or love, you need to know one thing. There’s a simple difference between love and infatuation.

True love is like a big pot of water that’s been put to boil over a fire. It takes time to warm up, and once it’s warm, it stays warm for a long, long time.

And infatuation, on the other hand, is like a flash of water on a hot pan. It’s eye-catchy, sizzles in a flash, creates a big scene, and vanishes before you know it!

If you actually want to stop feeling ignored by someone, you really need to understand this difference between love and infatuation.

And you need to realize that when you’re being ignored by someone you really like or love, you’re not dealing with love, but a state of infatuation *unless you’re talking about a long-term partner*.

You may truly be in love with this person, but if they ever showed any interest in you, it was probably only a state of infatuation for that person.

[Read: Is it infatuation or limerence? Understanding limerence better]

How to stop feeling ignored by someone you like

Are you being ignored by someone you really like? In the beginning, did it feel like this guy or girl really liked you, and seemed really interested in staying in touch with you? 

And now, are you the only one who’s feeling hurt because, for some reason you can’t comprehend, this person you care so much for, just doesn’t care about you at all?

Do they take several hours to respond to a text you sent them *even if they would respond almost immediately when they seemed interested in you before*? Let’s face it, this sucks, and worse, it’s just plain hurtful because you feel so helpless about it.

We’ve all been there, being ignored by someone we really cared for. And even if we talk about it with this person and try to understand why they’re drifting away so effortlessly, their lack of enthusiasm in having that conversation with you only leaves you teary-eyed and humiliated. [Confession: I miss him so much but he doesn’t miss me at all!]

The question hurts more than the answer!

You know you’re being ignored already, and that’s a fact that you accept bitterly. But why are you fighting it? Your mind can’t seem to rest even after realizing that you’re being ignored, can it?

The truth is, more than anything else, you want to know why you’re being ignored. It eats you from within. You just can’t understand why this person stopped talking to you or texting you, and you want an answer.

It isn’t the fact that this person doesn’t care about you anymore that bothers you. In all probability, that hurtful truth has already sunk in and you’ve accepted it grudgingly. 

What really pricks you and leaves you tossing and turning in bed during those darkest hours of the night is WHY?! [Read: Why you should never make someone a priority when you’re only an option in their life!]

The truth – Why aren’t they making the effort if they care?

If someone really likes you, they’ll take the time and effort to stay in touch with you. Really, it’s that simple.

And however you look at it, or whatever excuses and reasons you try to conjure in your head, it all leads to the one simple idea that you’ve been trying to ignore all along. And that’s the fact that this person you like so much is ignoring you.

You can hate us for being blunt about it, but the sooner you admit it, the sooner you’re going to stop looking for silly excuses to defend this person’s behavior.

Admittedly, there could be a few scenarios where a person you really like *and they seem to have really liked you too* could be ignoring you because they have no choice. 

Perhaps, they’re already in another relationship, or maybe they’re moving away, or well, they’re suffering from a terminal illness and they don’t want to drag you down into a world of pain and misery. But really, the chances of that happening are very, very slim. [Read: The raw psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love]

Other reasons you could be feeling ignored are:

1. They don’t like communicating via phone or text

You might like to stay in constant communication with people. But not everyone does. So, if you find that you call and they don’t return your calls, it could be because they’re busy and don’t have the amount of time you need to talk. So, you need to check your expectations in this category.

2. They are overwhelmed or incredibly busy

Everyone has a busy life, and some have more chaos than others. So, maybe they are not purposely ignoring you, but as we said above, they are just dealing with something on their own.

3. They need alone time

You probably don’t want to hear this, but maybe you are smothering them.

You don’t mean to, but it could be pushing them away. Somehow, they feel like it’s easier to ignore you than to tell you that they need alone time. [Read: Time apart in a relationship – 21 signs, reasons, and how to bring it up]

4. They feel like you want something from them

This is another explanation you might not want to hear. But maybe they perceive you as a “taker.” In other words, they feel like they’re always doing things for you, and the gesture is never returned.

This could be their way of drawing a boundary with you. It could be because they don’t want to tell you directly, or maybe they have you just didn’t listen. [Read: 19 signs or a taker in a relationship – Are you a giver or a taker?]

5. They might be considering ending the relationship

Whether it’s a romantic relationship, friendship, or someone you just met, you could be feeling ignored because they are rethinking the relationship. They might not want to continue with it but have a hard time telling you this.

And even if there was a very good and genuine reason behind why they’re ignoring you, does it make a difference? At the end of the day, it’s all the same thing. They’re ignoring you. 

And you have to find a way to stop feeling miserable and move on because you’re being ignored by the one you love. [Read: The real reason behind why love hurts so much when it goes bad]

The reason won’t change your life

The first thing you need to do to stop feeling ignored is leave the mess with whatever dignity you have left. After all, the harder you try to hold them close, the further they’re going to push you away. You know that already, don’t you?

Worse, they may even laugh and lie to your face! “What?! No, I’m not ignoring you! I’ve just been… aah… busy… you know…?!”

Can you feel any more foolish about it?

And the more you push them to answer why they’re ignoring you, the more lighthearted or hurtful their answers would get, until their answers just mock your intelligence and sensitive feelings. [Read: How to recognize and stop a selfish person from hurting you]

Now, ask yourself a simple question. Will their reason change your life? You know the answer already, and that’s the fact that they don’t care about you anymore, whatever the reason may be. 

Of course, you want to know the honest truth, and you want closure. You want to know why they’re ignoring you so you can finally move on. BUT Do you honestly believe closure will help you in any way?

This person who is now ignoring you could phrase it however they like, but the bottom line is the same, they don’t care about you *even if they once did*.

They don’t care. You should do the same!

Move on. Just how long do you intend to stare at a blank wall or stalk them online? Just walk away. This person doesn’t care about you anymore, so why should you? Of course, it’s going to hurt. And of course, you’ll feel miserable.

But all these sad feelings, well, they’re all going to go away once you make up your mind to move on for good. It may take a week or two, or perhaps, a month or two. But your addiction to this person will end, as long as you make a conscious effort today. [Read: How long does it take to get over a heartbreak – The exact timeline]

20 effective steps to stop feeling ignored by someone you really like

If you’re ready to overcome your addiction and get over this person who’s ignoring you, here are all the steps that can help you feel better about yourself. 

But at every step along the way, you need to make the effort to stay dedicated to your goal of wringing their hooks off your heart, even if it hurts you at first. You slip here, and you’ll only fall harder and feel worse about yourself. [Read: When people hurt you – How to deal with the pain and respond to them]

1. Don’t pick a fight

Confrontations won’t help. You’re angry and helpless, but seeking closure won’t take you anywhere.

2. Begging and pleading won’t help either

You’ll only feel more helpless and frustrated. The more you beg and plead, the more you’ll make them cringe and make them take one more step further away from you.

3. A heartfelt letter or text

If you really want to pour your heart out one last time, do it. But we don’t recommend it because there’s a very big chance that this person would just read it, roll their eyes in disgust, and trash your sad, teary-eyed heartfelt note.

There is a very, very small chance though, that your letter may prick their selfish heart and soften it up. But think about it, if this person knows how much you love them already, and still chooses to hurt you by ignoring you, would they really care enough to respond to your note or text, or even change in the future? 

Think about it. Even if they stop ignoring you after reading your words, could it last forever? Or would they just ignore you again after a while?

Our advice to you here is to avoid pouring your miserable feelings into a letter or a huge block of text, even if you want it to be the last time you ever say anything to them. Just walk away, you won’t find any solace or closure in writing a note. And you’ll only feel much, much worse and broken if they don’t respond to you. [Read: The perfect way to let go of someone you really love – Hate them first!]

4. Ask a question if you must

If you really want answers, just ask them a question in a casual manner. They may reason their behavior with a ridiculously lame excuse, but really, what else were you expecting? The truth? Really? LOL!

5. Keep yourself busy

Once you think you’re ready to get past the stage of trying to get in touch with them or explaining how you feel to them, take your first step in moving on for good.

For starters, keep yourself busy doing something that keeps your mind occupied, whatever it may be. [Read: When you miss someone – 23 mind tricks to stop missing the wrong person]

6. Stop stalking them, one step at a time

Do you keep track of this person all the time? Do you stalk their activities on Facebook and Instagram, or keep track of their timestamp on Whatsapp just to see when they last held their phone in their hand?

Are you enjoying making yourself feel miserable each time you know they are online, and still not responding to your text? Does their casual disregard for your double texts and pleas for a response disgust you enough?

Back away, one step at a time. There’s no happiness to be found at the tip of a blade that’s stabbing your heart, even if you’re the one applying the pressure on its handle. [Read: How long does a crush last? The steps to get over them ASAP]

7. Ignore them

Consciously make up your mind to ignore this person. Cut the strings that bind you to this person. Don’t try so hard to stay in touch with them. Don’t jump with excitement each time you see their name pop up on your phone. 

And even if you have the occasional conversation with them now and then, avoid thinking about it. Instead, realize just how trivially they treat you each time they talk to you. [Read: How your self-respect affects the way you let your crush treat you!]

8. Spend time with friends

Have you realized how easy it is to ignore this person when you’re out with friends, having a good time? That’s the key. The more fun you have and the more you keep yourself distracted, the easier it would be to move on and forget this person ever existed.

Remember, conversations with others would prevent your mind from drifting towards the thoughts of this person. And that’s always a good thing. [Read: Bumped into your ex? 14 super cool ways to make them believe YDGAF]

9. Meet someone else who catches your fancy

You’re hurt because someone you fancy is ignoring you. So change the person you fancy! Try to focus your interest on someone else, even if that person isn’t someone you know well. 

All you need here is a distraction, and even a silly crush on someone you don’t even talk to can help you overcome the feeling of being ignored.

10. Realize your progress

And use this realization to your advantage. You don’t miss this person today, as much as you missed them last week, do you?

That’s a positive sign and a good sign of progress. Realization can be your biggest strength, as long as you’re making the effort to ignore them back! [Read: 16 discreet signs you’re being taken for granted by the one you really like]

11. Realize your value

It’s very easy to let being ignored affect your self-esteem. You are probably thinking that if you were enough for them – or a better person – that they wouldn’t be ignoring you. But that’s not true.

You have to love yourself. Because when you do, you will be unaffected when people ignore you. Instead, you will see it as their loss – not yours. [Read: How to respect yourself – 14 secrets of self-worth and self-belief]

12. Try not to judge

Most people only see the situation from their point of view. While this is normal, it leads to a lot of people making critical judgments of the other person.

But when you look at the situation through your own lens of acceptable behavior, you are judging what they are doing. There could be many valid reasons they are ignoring you, so try to refrain from judging them.

13. Look at it from their perspective

Similarly, try to put yourself in their shoes. What do you think they might be thinking or feeling? Did something happen between the two of you… like a fight? Or did they try to tell you something and you just wouldn’t listen?

Try to think back on your behavior and see it through their eyes. Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong. But even so, their perspective is clearly different than yours. [Read: How to show empathy and learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

14. Don’t make assumptions

Even though we just said to try to look at it from their perspective, you shouldn’t make any conclusions or assumptions without verifying it from them.

Sure, you can try to theorize as to why you are being ignored, but only they really know for sure. So, it’s important to try to look at it from their perspective, but don’t get stuck on any one or two assumptions.

15. Work together to find a solution

If you are in a friendship or romantic relationship with this person, you need to talk to them about feeling ignored. Then, together you should come up with a solution.

Ignoring someone important to you is never a good strategy in any kind of relationship. It won’t solve your problems, so you need to view yourself as a team and come up with ways to make the situation better. [Read: How to resolve conflict – the 15 best ways to cut out the drama]

16. Stay calm and rational

Many times, your emotions will run wild when you are feeling ignored by someone you like. It’s easy to blow up, get upset, and overreact when it’s happening.

But you need to stay as calm and rational as you possibly can. Having a huge negative emotional reaction will not help at all. So, try to put things into perspective and approach it in a peaceful manner.

17. Are you really being ignored?

This might sound like a silly question, but ask yourself if you are really being ignored. Maybe you’re not. Maybe that’s just who the person is, and they just have a different need for communication than you do.

If you don’t know the person that well, this could be the case. So, look at their behavior critically and try to assess whether they are doing this on purpose or if it’s all in your head. [Read: Feeling unloved? 21 ways we feel less loved by others and how to feel real love again]

18. Are you ignoring them?

Maybe you are ignoring them, and you don’t even know it. In other words, maybe you “started it” by not being very communicative with them, and they are just mirroring your behavior.

This happens. If someone is feeling ignored by you, they might withdraw for many reasons. It could be out of sadness or anger. It just depends on the person.

19. Be strong

It’s never easy to be ignored. In fact, you might want to just fall apart because you don’t know what to do. You might be too caught up in your negative emotions.

But you need to stand strong. Love yourself enough to go on and live your life anyway. You can’t crumble just because you are being ignored by one person. You have to just carry on. [Read: How to love yourself – The 23 best ways to find love and happiness]

20. Recognize and accept being ignored

Maybe you will never figure out why you’re being ignored. Or maybe you will. If you don’t, then you just have to accept the fact that it’s happening. 

If you’ve done everything you can possibly do, then you just need to put it in the past. Acceptance helps with everything. Maybe they will come back, and maybe they won’t. But you need to just let it go.

[Read: How to respond like a grownup when someone ignores you on purpose]

If you’re feeling ignored by someone you love, understand these pointers and use these steps to get over them. It hurts, and you may feel helpless right now. But as long as you use these steps, you’ll be in a much better state of mind in no time! Now isn’t that worth the effort?

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Morgan Miller
Morgan Miller is a writer who lives in the Bay area, and suffers from an addiction to all things geeky and artsy. She loves wearing leggings as pants, and when ...
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