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What Does It Mean to Be Asexual & How to Understand It Better

We live in a world with a wide range of different sexualities and types of romantic attraction. It’s about time you know what does it mean to be asexual.

What Does It Mean to Be Asexual

You’re searching to understand, what does it mean to be asexual? Maybe you feel that you could be asexual, or you’re just interested in learning more about the different sexualities out there. Regardless, it’s a great first step at learning something new about sexuality.

Years ago, society either labeled you straight or gay, with nothing in between. As we evolve, we’re learning how vast the spectrum of sexuality actually is. And that’s pretty cool.

Asexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. Many people are asexual but didn’t know the term for how they were feeling. So, it’s about time you learned everything there is about asexuality.

[Read: Romantic orientation: Just how many different types are there?]

What does it mean to be asexual

So, you really want to know what it is and if you identify as someone who’s asexual. And if you feel that after reading this article you’re not asexual, then that’s also fine. You’re on a journey and discovering more about who you are as a person. It’s pretty exciting if you ask me. So, let’s get started

Here’s everything you need to know to understand what does it mean to be asexual.

#1 So, what is asexuality? It’s best to start with the basics. What does asexuality mean?

Asexuality is defined as someone who is not sexually attracted to anyone. An asexual person is someone who lacks sexual attraction towards others. It doesn’t matter if the other people are men or women. The point is, they’re not into anyone. [Read: The signs you’re asexual and don’t like getting laid as much as others]

#2 It falls under the ‘Ace’ community. Asexuality falls under the ‘Ace’ community. It is an umbrella term to describe identities where the person doesn’t experience sexual attraction to others, or when they do, it’s very rare and limited. This umbrella terms include identities, including asexuality, demisexual, and aromantic. [Read: Aceflux, aeroflux and how sexual attraction can vary every day]

#3 Some asexual people do experience sexual attraction. But this doesn’t happen very often for them. Sexual attraction comes in rare instances and specific circumstances. Many people fall on different levels of asexuality.

Some people lack a complete attraction to anyone. While other people do have a moment of being attracted to someone, but it’s rare. [Read: Identifying with grey asexuality in a world of sex]

#4 Asexuality is not abstinence. A lot of people think that asexuality is the same as being abstinent, but it’s not. The difference between the two is huge. Abstinence is when you refrain from sex, whether you’re attracted to someone else or not. Whereas, asexuality is when the person lacks the attraction to others.

#5 Is asexuality a phase in life? When it comes to someone’s sexual and romantic attractions, they can change with time. You may hear people say, “oh, they’re just having a phase.” And that’s not necessarily true. Many people will identify as being asexual for their entire life, while others will be more fluid and fall on different sides of the spectrum.

#6 No, it’s not a medical condition. Of course, there are people who refrain from sex because of medical conditions or struggle with being intimate. This isn’t the case for asexual individuals. What they’re feeling isn’t a medical condition, it’s not something that needs to be fixed. They simply are this way. [Read: List of sexualities – What you need to know about each orientation]

#7 Asexual people can have romantic relationships. Of course, they can! Sexual attraction isn’t the same as romantic attraction. Someone who’s asexual can or cannot feel sexually attracted to someone, but will be romantically attracted to someone. They can form deep emotional relationships with people, with or without sexual attraction. [Read: Panromantic asexual – When you can love someone but can’t be sexually attracted to them]

#8 Asexual people can have sex. Being asexual doesn’t mean you’re not capable of having sex. Asexual people can have sex. It truly depends on the person. Their sexual desire may not align with their sexual attraction to someone. In other words, they can still enjoy having sex, even though they don’t feel the need for it.

#9 Asexuality can shift with time. There may be a period of time where an asexual person isn’t sexually or romantically attracted to anyone. But that may also shift. An asexual person could find themselves experiencing sexual attraction to a specific person. Sexuality, in general, can shift with time.

#10 Asexual people can be attracted to the same sex. Asexuality isn’t just for heterosexual people, for example. You can be asexual and gay, lesbian, transgender, etc. It isn’t bound to one sexual orientation. So, regardless of your sexual orientation, it doesn’t matter. Sexuality is as fluid as the ocean.

#11 No, it has nothing to do with not being able to find a partner. Many people will joke when struggling to meet a partner and say, “that’s it, I’m going to be asexual.” But it doesn’t quite work like that. Being asexual doesn’t mean you gave up on dating and decided not to be attracted to anyone. Plus, many asexual people are in healthy relationships. [Read: Sexless relationship – Is love enough for a happily ever after?]

#12 Do asexual people masturbate? It depends on the person. As you know by now, everyone is different. There are asexual people who masturbate and enjoy the intimacy. Then there are asexuals who don’t masturbate. Bottom line: everyone is different with different needs and desires.

[Read: What it’s like for asexual people in the dating world]

Now you have a better idea of the answer to what does it mean to be asexual. Maybe you’re asexual or know someone who may be asexual, we hope you have a clearer picture of what it means now.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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