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15 Types of Toxic Friends Who Make You Miserable and Drag You Down

If your friends bring harm and undue stress to your life, it’s time to rethink the types of toxic friends you have and if they should stick around.

Types of Toxic Friends

With friends we tend to be forgiving and understanding of their occasional faults and personality quirks even if those sometimes bring harm. This can lead to years of putting up with different types of toxic friends. But don’t be oblivious to the fact that a toxic friend is detrimental to your well-being.

Types of toxic friends you should avoid

To prevent toxic friends from ruining your life, identify the traits that make them toxic. Then, learn how to cut them from your life as early as possible. After all, friends are supposed to make you better, not miserable.

#1 The manipulative user. Technically, these types of toxic friends are not really your friends at all. They only take the form of one because they have ulterior motives. They stick to you because you are a means to getting what they want.  These types will butter you up so that you’ll be amicable to doing them favors but will dump you out once you served your purpose.

How to know if you have a manipulative user as a friend? They are never around when you need them the most. [Read: These are the bad friends you should be unfriending from your life]

#2 The needy friend. Having a needy friend is like raising a kid. They depend on you for the most ridiculously basic and refuse to learn how to do things on their own. Their neediness can range from a variety of aspects: from constant companionship, advice, reassurance, and sometimes financial support. These types are dead weight that should be cut off from your life unless they learn how to be responsible for their own affairs.

#3 The clingy possessive friend. Like the psycho boyfriend/girlfriend stereotype, this type of friend acts like you are their possession. You must be close by at all times. What they want is your full undivided attention. They will be upset if you spend more time with your other friends, romantic partner, and even family. Sure, these types will show their full loyalty and devotion to you, but they will unrealistically expect the same. [Read: 10 ways to recognize a selfish person and 5 ways to get away from them]

#4 The drama queen. Drama queens create and revel in unnecessary drama from the people around them. And they overreact in the most superficial of events and deliberately create conflict and tension. Sometimes they even create an issue even if the situation calls for none just to elicit reactions from others. For these self-absorbed types, life is better if it’s full of despair, jealousy, conflict, and crying. [Read: Why some attention seekers just go looking for drama]

#5 The commentator. These are the types of toxic friends that have to comment about everything, even if it’s none of their business. And it would be great if some of their comments were positive, but you’ll find that most of what they say is critical. They are often opinionated with weakly formed opinions and would probably die if they spent a day without saying something about anything.

These types are not difficult to miss because you’ll be able to identify that nagging chatter from a few feet away.

#6 The gossip-monger. If the commentator has their unsolicited opinions, the gossip-monger, as the name implies, carry and produce gossip 24/7. If you have them around at a gathering, you won’t be able to have a normal conversation and instead will waste your time being bombarded with unverified stories about other people’s affairs. You need to kick these people out of your life as soon as possible as they might be spreading gossip about you as well.

#7 The flaky friend. This type of a toxic friend is notorious for frequent last minute cancellations on you or your group of friend’s get-togethers. This can be frustrating as it shows that your flaky friend has no sense of commitment to spend time with you and places no value to the time you allot for them. Not to worry though as flaky friends will eventually end up “out of circulation” from their group of friends and will no longer be sought out in the future. [Read: Got flaky friends? Here’s why you need to ditch them ASAP]

#8 The negative thinker.  They are whiners, complainers, and pathologically pessimistic. According to their outlook, everything is set-up to fail. No one should ever hope for the best or exert any effort in life.

This type ranks high in the list of toxic friends. Their negative mindset is contagious and may rub onto you if you continue to associate with them. [Read: How to stop negative people from dragging you down]

#9 The stagnating friend. These are the types of toxic friends that never change their ways, have no dreams, and zero motivation to succeed. They are usually the happy-go-lucky types you met during high school who never grew out of their adolescent mindset.

As folk wisdom states, surround yourself with motivated and driven people who inspire you. This type of toxic friend is someone you need to lose if you want to succeed in life.

#10 The bad influence. These types possess poor judgement on right and wrong. They’d even bring you down with them as a companion to their misdemeanors. They are hedonistic and encourage you to make bad decisions for the sake of living in the moment. A toxic friend will steer you away from responsibilities. If you do stand up to them, they’ll say that you’re boring or too stuck up in life. As a sensible adult, the right thing to do is to end your friendship with such types.

#11 The pushy domineer. They’re known as the “Queen bee” or the “leader of the pack.” Essentially, they decide everything on what their group of friends should be doing, thinking, or liking. In a harmless setting they provide direction. Things get toxic when they use peer pressure to make you do things that you’re not comfortable with or use guilt to chastise you for having a different opinion. They are essentially bullies disguised as your “friend.” [Read: How to recognize emotional bullies and stand your ground]

#12 The one-upper. One-uppers can’t stand not being the star of the group. If one of their supposed friends tells them that they bought new stuff, went on a vacation, or has achieved some form of success, their immediate reaction is to dampen the mood by saying that they’ve bought, traveled to, or achieved something better. These types assert their superiority by being the center of attention at all times. They cannot let others have the glory of the moment.

#13 The know-it-all. Differences in opinion occasionally happen between friends which may lead to some disagreements. But at the end of the day, true friends respect each other’s differences.

However, there are cases that you’ll encounter a friend who shoves down their own opinion which they preach as fact. And having a friend like this will lead to constant debates and making you defend your opinion at all times.

#14 The absentee friend. Absentee friends are never there when you need them most. They’re only there when things are fun and easy. They fail to fulfill their obligations to the social contract of friendship when things get tough.

The one-sided nature of such a relationship will be difficult to maintain. It makes them easy candidates to your purge list. [Read: Bad friends and the right time to end your friendship with them]

#15 The backstabber. This one is a no-brainer. Even Dante Alighieri placed betrayal on the ninth circle of hell to signify its gravity. Backstabbing is the greatest sin a friend can commit. It merits complete dissolution of the friendship.

Would you dare call a person a friend if you find out that they constantly badmouth you behind your back?

[Read: 15 signs of toxic relationships that’ll slowly go from bad to worse]

Like a malignant tumor, these types of toxic friends need to be excised from your life before they cause further damage. True friends should enrich your life, not make you miserable.

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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...
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