Believe it or not, self-centered people are everywhere. Learn how to spot one with these signs of self-centered people. Avoid at all costs!
Have you ever met someone who was so completely preoccupied with their own life that they couldn’t see anything else? No matter how hard you try to talk to them about something that’s bothering you or share a problem, they simply steer the conversation back to themselves. To avoid frustration and wasting your time, you must learn the signs of self-centered people and avoid them as much as possible!
Self-centered people are annoying for sure. You don’t have to make room in your life for them. If they won’t take their focus away from themselves for a second, they don’t deserve your attention.
But, for most people, simply cutting others out of their life isn’t easy. What you need to remember is that if someone doesn’t treat you with respect, you really don’t owe it back to them either.
[Read: Selfish friends – Why they take so much and give nothing in return]
What does it mean to be self-centered?
The word kind of gives it away, but self-centered people are simply only concerned with themselves. Their entire world center around them and they assume that yours should too. They can’t quite understand why you’re not getting on board with this thought either!
Self-centered people are selfish and egotistical and while very independent, they’re certainly not the easiest people to be around.
This type of behavior is one of the traits of narcissism too, but many people are self-centered without being narcissistic.
So, are self-centered people bad? Not necessarily. It’s possible that they’re not all that self-centered, it’s just a trait that pops up occasionally. However, if you meet someone who’s really self-centered, you’re not really going to want to spend too much time around them.
They’ll drive you crazy and in the end, you’ll wonder whether they’ve deemed themselves the owner of the planet or some other self-important title. [Read: How do people become self-centered and stop caring about others?]
The most common signs of self-centered people
To help you spot someone who falls into this category, check out these common signs of self-centered people. Then, you can learn how to deal with them, or simply avoid them like the plague – your choice!
1. They think everything is about them
If you ask a self-centered person to think about the world and the issues going on in it, they’ll pause for a second, shrug it off, then get back to thinking about themselves. Or, they’ll start to talk about how that particular issue affects them.
They cannot see the bigger picture beyond their bubble in life. They don’t care about other people or the problems going on, because they don’t affect them. Therefore *to them*, they simply don’t matter. This sign is at the top of the list. [Read: How to deal with selfish friends and recognize the ones that hurt you]
2. Self-centered people consider themselves better than everyone else
As we mentioned earlier, not all self-centered people are narcissists, but many are. Considering yourself better than someone else is a sign of narcissism.
In this case, everything they are, do, and have, will always be better than everything you are, do, or have, in their eyes. Of course, in reality, this isn’t the case, but don’t tell them that! [Read: Am I a narcissist? 10 easy questions to know the answer instantly]
3. They can be quite forceful
A self-centered person is fine if they’re getting what they want, e.g. attention, but once the attention shifts, they become forceful in the way they act.
They may use very strong language and tell you what to do, basically dominate any situation, and make themselves the center of the universe once more. [Read: 20 ways to spot selfish people and keep them from hurting you]
4. They use people
Self-centered people don’t really care about how someone else might feel. They’re simply bothered about getting the things they want and need. In that case, they use people to tick those boxes.
They’re also likely to surround themselves with people who make them look good, not pausing for a second to consider how that person might feel. Unfortunately, this is one of the most common signs of self-centered people.
5. They consider their opinions to be fact
A self-centered person may consider your opinion valid, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to consider theirs to be less than yours. Self-centered people are very strong in their views and can be very opinionated. Their opinion is fact *to them*. It means that you’re more likely to be wrong than right in their eyes. [Read: The 15 signs to help you know how to spot a passive-aggressive personality]
6. Their relationships are short-lived
If you look back on the dating history of a self-centered person, you’ll find that there are multiple attempts, mostly short-lived.
The ex-partners became tired of being used or pushed to one side and couldn’t cope with never being listened to. Can you blame them?
7. They take selfishness to a whole new level
Everyone can be selfish from time to time, it’s simply part of being a human being.
However, a self-centered person takes it from zero to 100 in seconds! They don’t see what they’re doing as wrong, and instead, they focus on what they want at all costs.
8. They’re rarely wrong and if they are, they won’t admit it
A self-centered person will rarely admit that they’re wrong, and if they do, they’ll somehow twist it around and make it not really about them in the end.
If something happens, they’ll blame it on someone else and paint themselves as the victim, before shrugging it off and becoming arrogant and selfish once more. This is one of the main signs of self-centered people. [Read: Why playing a victim actually makes your life way, way worse!]
9. They never really show their true selves
A self-centered person often hides their true self. You might not realize it, but deep down they’re easily hurt. If they show you who they really are, it makes being hurt far more likely.
Becoming genuinely close to a self-centered person is difficult, and in some cases impossible, especially if narcissism is at play. [Read: The best ways to set boundaries with difficult people]
10. They drag others down
It’s not that a self-centered person is dragging you down to make themselves look good per se, although some do that. Instead, they just don’t know when to stop, and they take everything too far.
Criticism turns into borderline bullying, and as a result, they completely miss the mark. Without a doubt, this is why many self-centered people have only short-lived relationships.
11. The ego rules
Arrogance is pretty common when someone is self-centered.
The ego is at the forefront of everything. Their ego is so huge, it walks into the room before they do. You can hurt it surprisingly easily but it will always mend and come back, probably ten times bigger as a result. [Read: How to deal with self-centered people without losing your mind]
Are self-centered people always narcissists?
It’s important to really firm up on the answer here as being around a narcissist isn’t something you should tolerate. These are masters of disguise and can often fly under the radar with their manipulative ways.
Many of the signs of self-centered people are also signs of narcissism. However, does that mean all self-centered people are narcissists too?
Not always.
To be a true narcissist, you should suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. There are many people who are a little narcissistic because everyone has a slight bit of narcissism within them. But the difference is that most of us have empathy which balances it out. However, when someone has a total lack of empathy, that makes them a narcissist. [Read: How do narcissists hook you? Here’s how to dodge their toxic bait]
Many self-centered people have empathy, it’s just hidden a little. They can occasionally care about other people other than themselves, but it’s short-lived.
Instead, they choose who they care about very carefully, according to how it makes them look. That doesn’t make them narcissistic. However, it does make them pretty selfish, a big user, and difficult to be around.
So, while all narcissists are self-centered, not all self-centered people are narcissists. It’s easy to throw the narcissist term around and label everyone who shows a slight amount of selfishness, but we all do that occasionally. [Read: How to tell if someone is using you – 16 signs a user just can’t hide]
Everyone can be self-centered occasionally
You can also be self-centered for a period of time, e.g. if you’re going through a difficult period. That doesn’t make you narcissistic, it makes you human.
It’s when the whole pattern is extended that you need to take a long, hard look at yourself and question your motives for what you’re doing and why.
However, if someone is truly self-centered, narcissistic or not, you should probably also think carefully about whether you want them in your life. Your needs will never be met. Relationships are supposed to be two way things. A very self-centered person will somehow make everything about them. [Read: The selfish boyfriend – How to find the balance and help him change]
How to deal with self-centered people
When you’re around a self-centered person, you’ll quickly realize that the whole situation can quickly zap your energy. If you find that you have a person like this in your circle, how can you deal with them? Give these steps a try. [Read: How to have a difficult conversation without losing your nerve]
1. Acknowledge that they’re self-centered
The first thing is to acknowledge what they are. Otherwise, you may find yourself being sucked into their world. That’s exactly what they want!
So, acknowledge to yourself that they’re a selfish, self-centered person first and foremost.
2. Focus on yourself
If you have to be around this person or you’re in a relationship with them and you’re not ready to let it go, it’s important to make time for yourself too.
Focus on yourself and do things that you enjoy. That will balance out the constant onslaught of me, me, me that comes from them. [Read: How to focus on yourself – 27 ways to create your own sunshine]
3. Don’t give in to their attention-seeking
When self-centered people are coming at you from all directions, it’s best not to give them the attention they crave. They’ll soon give up and go elsewhere for a hit of attention. If it’s a partner, simply make uninterested noises for a while and then walk away.
4. Set boundaries and stick to them
When dealing with self-centered people it’s important to set boundaries. If they start to bring you down or you just can’t handle their behavior, set a boundary that fits for you and then stick to it.
For example, if they don’t listen to what you say, tell them “you’re not listening so I’m going to speak to someone who will” and then leave the room and do what you said. [Read: How to set personal boundaries and guide other people to respect it]
5. Let them know occasionally that they’re not the most important person on the planet
This probably won’t go down so well but they do need to be reminded every so often. By doing things that you want to do and when they protest simply saying that your desires matter just as much as theirs, they’ll wonder what’s going on.
It might be enough for them to start addressing their selfishness but even if it doesn’t, it will at least make you feel better.
6. Don’t spend too much time with them
If you have a choice, don’t spend too much time around this person.
Limit the amount of time you do spend in their company and then go off and do something that makes you feel good. In some cases, self-centered people can be quite exhausting to be around. [Read: Your sense of self – 26 steps to raise it and feel like a million bucks]
7. If you can’t handle it, end the relationship
If you’re in a relationship with this person and their self-centered behavior is simply too much, talk to them. Then, if nothing changes, you have no option but to end the relationship. You don’t deserve to be seen as second place all the time.
[Read: How to stop caring – 20 steps on how to not care and learn to put yourself first]
It’s important to know the signs of self-centered people. Everyone can be a little self-centered occasionally, but when this is a long-lasting deal, they aren’t fun to be around. And you either need to guide them, or walk away from them!
