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Repressed Anger: 15 Steps to Let Go Before It Eats You from Within

Repressed anger is one of the worst things you can experience as it eats you up inside ’til it consumes you. Simply put, you need to let go of your anger.

Repressed Anger

We’ve all had some memories when we repressed our emotions – especially emotions that are difficult to express, such as anger or disappointment. And well, that’s the beginning of a lifelong battle with repressed anger for most of us.

When you were young, you may have thrown a temper tantrum to express your emotions. However, as you got older, you were taught that that’s not the best way to express your feelings.

As you grow up, another important lesson you learn is that repressed emotions will be the death of you.

Okay, maybe not literally, but it will feel soul-crushing as anger truly is a powerful emotion. Especially when your anger consumes you, that’s when it becomes dangerous. This is why it’s so important to learn how to let go of your repressed anger before it controls you further.

[Read: How to stop being angry – Free your mind and stop hurting yourself]

What is repressed anger?

As we get older, what ends up happening is that we just stop expressing feelings that may make us feel uncomfortable. So, instead of telling your boss that you feel you’re not being appropriately treated, you repress the anger inside you and let it bubble until one day you burst.

Now, two things could happen: you let your anger eat you from inside, or explode. Either way, it’s shit. We’re not exaggerating when we say it’s the worst feeling in the world. Repressed anger is when you keep everything bottled up inside, and you’ve been doing it for the longest time that it suddenly turns to rage.

Have you ever experienced those moments when nothing is wrong, but you just feel so angry? Perhaps it’s because you’ve never expressed your emotions and now everything just piled up until it turned into anger. There’s a reason why they warn that repressed anger is the most dangerous of all, especially when it consumes you. [Read: How to calm down when you’re angry & regain your composure quickly]

Why is repressed anger so dangerous?

As we’ve said a few times already, repressed anger is the most dangerous thing in the world. Especially when you project your anger towards others, that’s when it affects all your friendships and relationships. When you’re holding on to repressed anger, this will negatively impact your life in many ways.

For starters, when anger consumes you, it affects even your perspective and outlook. When anger rules your life, it’s practically impossible to see the good and beauty in things. You think everything and everyone is out to get you.

Also, you have so much hate and resentment for everything in your heart, which holds you back from experiencing beautiful emotions like love, hope, and faith. [Read: 10 ways to handle dating someone with anger issues]

How to let go of repressed anger

We all have repressed emotions, but it’s your job to let them go. Really, do you want to explode? We just told you that it’s shit. So how about we take a look at ways to let go of your repressed anger, shall we?

1. Self-reflection

You need to have a good, long sit with yourself and look at why you’re so angry. Start with your childhood, because usually there’s an incident or two that taught you how to repress anger. From there, you can go through your life page by page and see how repressing anger has affected you.

Most probably, it’s everything you’ve been pushing to the back of your mind that’s causing you to have repressed anger.

Shutting off your emotions is not healthy, and it certainly isn’t helping you process your feelings. So you need to reflect and look back before you can let go of your emotions. [Read: 10 self-reflective questions to help stay true to yourself]

2. Learn to forgive

You need to learn forgiveness. You need to learn how to forgive others and also how to forgive yourself. People do things that aren’t necessarily good. However, understand that they do it not because of you but for themselves. So stop holding on to all the grudges and forgive yourself and everyone involved.

You don’t forgive because they deserve it, but you do it for your own peace and acceptance. If you keep holding grudges, you’ll always be holding on to anger in your heart and life. People’s actions are motivated by self-interest, so whatever anyone does, good or bad, is because of themselves. [Read: How to forgive someone – 15 positive ways to unburden your mind]

3. Know your body’s reaction to anger

Know how your body reacts. That way, before you become entirely sucked in by rage and mad anger, you’ll see the signs and learn to cool yourself down. In a way, this is similar to being self-aware, where you need to know your body’s reaction to anger.

If you tend to heat up and your body starts to shake – and that’s anger for you – it’s a good step that you’re aware of the emotion you’re feeling. The moment you feel your body showing any signs of repressed anger, you can learn to manage them better. [Read: How to read people – 12 secrets to figure anyone out instantly]

4. Use positive visualization

This may sound a little hippy, but it actually works. You need to bring positive mental images into your mind. Think about people who you love that make you happy or things you love to do. Surround yourself with positivity and learn to release your anger through activities that make you feel good.

The best way to counter repressed anger is by thinking of all the things and people that make you feel good. So think of your happy place, your loved ones, and even your greatest passion in life, and that can help you deal with the anger in your heart. [Read: Positive vibes – 17 ways to welcome positive energy into your life]

5. Learn to accept the past

This is such an essential aspect of dealing with repressed anger. You’re usually anger because of something within yourself you haven’t faced or something in your past. If it’s the latter, you will have repressed emotions because you haven’t accepted the past in your own way.

You need to remember that the past isn’t going anywhere. As far as we know, you can never erase it. BUT you can accept it.

We all make mistakes. But what are you going to do? Live the rest of your life thinking about what you should have done? Nah. Let it go. This is the only way you will learn how to let go of your repressed emotions. [Read: Achieving self-acceptance – 10 little steps for one big change]

6. Embrace others’ points of view

If you’re feeling repressed anger towards someone, you should try to understand their point of view. Now, that doesn’t mean you will agree with them, and then, everything will be rainbows and sunshine.

But it’s important to understand where someone else is coming from.

By doing that, you’ll be able to process your emotions. You need to accept that people will have a different perspective and outlook than you, and that’s okay! Not everyone will share your belief, and knowing this can help you let go of your repressed anger.

You reach a certain point where you accept that people are entitled to their own beliefs and perspectives, and that’s how you can stop being so angry all the time. [Read: How to be more social – 19 ways to genuinely connect with others]

7. You’re not in control of life

This is probably the hardest concept to accept, but you can’t control everything. There will always be things beyond your control, and that’s okay. This is what makes life so mysterious and incredible at the same time. You have to understand that you’re not in control of what happens around you.

If something happens, know that it’s out of your control. If you’re holding repressed feelings towards your ex because they cheated on you, know that they were going to cheat on you regardless of what you tried to do. It’s their choice to cheat on you, and that isn’t something you could’ve controlled or stopped in any way.

8. Exercise your anger out of you

Sometimes, you don’t want to talk it out with someone. Sometimes, the best way to release your anger is to sweat it out. Punch a boxing bag, go for a run, let yourself release your repressed anger through physical activity. This is a great way to get rid of the excess stress that’s clinging to you.

The best way to release all your anger and frustrations in life is to focus and improve on yourself. Exercise is a self-love habit that will do you a lot of good when it comes to your anger.

Trust us; this is something you want to keep in mind if you’re going to let go of your repressed emotions. [Read: How to release anger – 20 ways to focus on the positives in life]

9. How can you prevent this anger from occurring again?

What was it that sparked this emotion? Was it an encounter with someone? Were they friends? Do you usually feel this anger when around them? You need to look at why you were angry and what you can do to help yourself handle it.

If they’re someone who’s constantly making you feel like you cannot express your emotions, then maybe this person shouldn’t be in your life. You need to reflect on what you can do to prevent your anger from reoccurring again.

If it’s because of a toxic relationship or friendship, cut them off and don’t look back. You don’t need someone who triggers your anger constantly. [Read: Toxic people – The 25 early warning signs to watch out for]

10. Accept that you’ll be angry again

Accept this, you’re going to be angry again and again and again. That’s normal. And that’s human. If you have friends, a family, a lover, or children, well, then you know very well that anger will arise at some point in time. The goal for yourself shouldn’t be to think that you’re never going to be angry; that’s not realistic.

You should be focusing on accepting this emotion as it is, and learning how to handle it. Anger is a normal human emotion, and you shouldn’t be so afraid of feeling it.

By learning to embrace and accept your anger, you also learn to manage and cope with it better. [Read: How to let go of anger – release the rage and resentment]

11. Change your mindset

Your mindset is everything when it comes to dealing with repressed anger. Your thoughts and mind control your life, so it’s only natural that your mindset defines the overall flow of your life. While it’s easier said than done, it’s essential to change your mindset and perspective gradually.

Instead of dwelling on a negative and angry mindset, switch it around and find a way to adjust to a positive one. Trust us when we say that a positive mindset can turn your life around for the better. [Read: How to get your life together – 10 mind tricks to regain control]

12. Find healthy ways of expressing your anger

Anger is such a powerful emotion that if you don’t express it, that’s when it becomes even more dangerous.

So you need to find healthy copy mechanisms for your anger. It could be exercise, journaling, meditation, talking to someone, or even as simple as going outside.

Do whatever you have to do to deal with your difficult emotions, as long as you’re incorporating healthy coping mechanisms instead of self-destructive ones. [Read: How to express your feelings & get your point across the right way]

13. Confront the source of your anger

The cause of your repressed anger is because you’re shutting your emotions down every time you resent someone when you could’ve expressed it to them constructively. So if you want to ease your burden, talk to the source of your anger and say how you truly feel.

Of course, it’s harder for those afraid of confrontation, but this is necessary if you want to stop letting your anger rule your life.

There is always a source for your anger and if the source is a particular person, confront them to release your feelings of resentment once and for all. [Read: How to resolve conflict – The 15 best ways to cut out the drama]

14. Check the people you surround yourself with

You are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with. So if you want to overcome repressed anger and let go of it, check your peers. If you constantly surround yourself with negative people, guess what? You’ll likely lead a negative life.

But if you surround yourself with encouraging and positive people, you can’t help but feel the encouragement and positivity they’re reflecting onto others. It’s easier not to feel anger when you’re around positive people who lift you up instead of stamping you down or using you. [Read: Best lesson to live by – Why You need to surround yourself with positive people]

15. Seek professional help

We all need a little help sometimes, you know? Whether it’s talking to a therapist ad counselor, you will be able to let go of all the anger and resentment you feel just by talking things through.

Therapy doesn’t instantly mean something is wrong with you, but it’s actually very similar to talking with a friend. The difference is, a therapist has the right background to help you understand your emotions and incorporate healthier coping mechanisms.

[Read: Why we need to breakdown the stigma of mental illness]

So, how to let go of repressed anger?

Repressed anger is something you’re going to have to let go of if you don’t want it to rule your life.

Anger is such an all-consuming emotion that you can’t dwell on it. It’s primarily caused by all the emotions you’ve been holding within, so it’s only natural that you feel the way you do.

And getting rid of it starts with learning to manage your anger better, and more importantly, finding the best ways to release it without holding it in.

[Read: How to let go of resentment, stop feeding the hate and start living instead]

When you have repressed anger, it can be destructive. So remember these things, and learn to let go of it if you want to live a truly happy and blissful life. 

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...