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How to Soul Search: Find Your True Calling Without Feeling Stressed

We’re surrounded by images and stories of people doing what fulfills them. But, not all of us have found ourselves. It’s time to learn how to soul search.

how to soul search

Everyone tells you to do what makes you happy, but that’s easier said than done. What honestly makes you happy? It’s a tough question to answer because most of us have no idea. Which is why we need to know how to soul search.

Okay, sure, we have things in our lives that make us happy but most of the time, they’re not things we picture ourselves doing in a more serious manner. On the other hand, maybe we could imagine ourselves doing our hobbies as a career. However, we’re not sure how to get it to that level. It’s not easy to figure these things out, especially, when you must support yourself in your daily life at the same time. [Read: How to turn around the negativity and find the silver lining]

How to soul search and look within

So, with all this said, it’s time to do some soul searching. Whether you waver on what you want to do or you’re completely lost, looking within usually is the best way to see what you really need. But soul searching doesn’t mean you join a yoga retreat or only eat soya beans.

Soul searching can be done in a variety of ways and flow into your lifestyle. But of course, you need to know the ways to do it. That’s why I’m here. It’s not all kumbaya.

#1 It’s not going to happen overnight. We all want things now, now, now. Well, sorry to tell you, but it ain’t going to happen like that. If you want to truly work on finding yourself and what fulfills you, it’s going to take time.

For some, it takes weeks or months, while for others years. There’s no equation for this or simple answer. Soul searching takes work and patience. [Read: 21 ways to find your inner happiness]

#2 Ask yourself questions. You need to find out more about yourself. So, ask yourself questions. The only way to soul search it to look within. You need to look at what interests you, what interested you as a child, and what you need in your life.

Usually, the things that fulfill your life, you already do but you don’t realize it. Though it’s not always going to be black and white, there may be a couple things you love, so maybe you can mash them up together. [Read: 12 life questions to help you visualize your future]

#3 What are your natural talents? Ask your family and friends this question as you see yourself much differently than the people around you. You may be surprised at some of the qualities they’ll tell you that you have. Ask them what they come to you for, maybe you’re good at giving advice or making them laugh.

#4 Find the sweet spot. This means you want to look at two and three again, seeing if there’s something that compiles everything. This is called the sweet spot. It’s the best of both worlds. In order to find this, look at the intersection of the areas. Maybe you like films and drawing–animation? See what I mean? Find the sweet spot where your talents and wishes meet up.

#5 Don’t focus too much on it. I know that you want to find out what fulfills you, but don’t spend every day and night focused on it. If you look too deeply into it all the time, you’re going to exhaust yourself and completely turn yourself off from the idea. Take breaks, reflect on what you’ve accomplished thus far, and then continue. There’s no time limit to this.

#6 Ditch the things that don’t make you happy. Learning how to soul search can be a challenge if you’re surrounded by things that don’t provide joy. So, ditch the things around you that aren’t serving you.

Whether it’s relationships or activities, whatever it is, skip it. Part of finding yourself is removing the things from your life that no longer serve you. [Read: Stop pleasing people and feel awesome instead]

#7 Don’t think about making huge goals. Though goals help up achieve great things, if too big, they create stress, causing us to lose motivation. Keep the goals small. So, if you have a list of things you want to try, do one at a time, and see which activity brings you joy. Don’t make these unachievable goals. It’s not going to happen like that.

#8 Work on inspiring yourself. If you’re unsure where to start, begin by watching a movie or reading a book. You don’t have to bungee jump. All you need to do is surround yourself with things that expand your thoughts. Right now, you’re stuck in this small circle of thoughts. Expand your mind, and you’ll experience new and refreshing things.

#9 You may not always be right. There may be some things that you’re going to do that at one point you thought were right. But, now, you realize that they’re not. This doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it just means you’ve learned from your mistakes. Acknowledge, accept, and forgive yourself. If you’re stuck on something, you won’t be able to develop yourself. [Read: How to stop feeling sorry for yourself]

#10 Don’t think about your age. It’s easy for us to prevent ourselves from trying something new because of our age. So what if you’re 26 or 56 or 86? If you want to try something new that you think will give you happiness, do it. Don’t let your age hinder your ability to make yourself happy. That’s a lame excuse and you know it.

#11 Start it as a hobby. You don’t have to do something full force right away. Instead, start out as a hobby and see how it goes. You don’t want to put so much pressure on yourself, but rather let it flow into your life. If you think that your soul’s desires are met by this activity think about expanding it into something you do full-time. But until then, just enjoy.

#12 Look back at your childhood. Many things that we loved to do during our childhood were activities which lightened and heightened our souls. However, through age, peer pressure, or our parents telling us what we need to do, those joys were pushed to the side.

Try those activities again and see where they go. You haven’t changed that much from your childhood, not as much as you think. [Read: 14 steps to unfake your life and be yourself]

#13 Don’t give up. You’ll want to give up multiple times throughout the experience. Why? Because you’re going to face some personal truths and obstacles that you probably avoid. How to soul search requires not quitting, especially when it’s not easy. You need to power through.

[Read: Who are you? How to fine-tune your internal compass]

Learning how to soul search isn’t easy, and there’s no timeline to follow, which is the hardest part. But, with patience and dedication, you’ll see what you really want.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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