Home  >  My Life  >  A Better Life

How to Not be Jealous: An Easy Guide for the Overly Envious

Jealousy is a normal human emotion. But it can often cause a lot of problems if it’s out of control. Live better and find out how to not be jealous.

how to not be jealous

We all get jealous. You’re either lying or have something wrong with you if you’re never jealous at any point in your life, ever. If you’re someone whose envious behavior can get out of control sometimes, you’ll want to know how to not be jealous.

Believe it or not, you can stop yourself from being jealous. Sure, that emotion will never go away for good, but you can reduce it dramatically. And if your envious behavior is harming your relationship or your life, you’ll definitely want find out how to not be jealous.

How jealousy can affect your life

I don’t think you need me to tell you just how harmful jealousy can be to your life. Your relationships will suffer and your entire career can even suffer. And that’s not even to mention your other personal relationships.

You may end up without friends or family that wants to be around you. I get how hard it is to live like that. If this sounds like you and you want to make a change, we can help. [Read: 6 little ways to stop being so jealous in a relationship]

How to not be jealous

Let me start by pointing out that none of these are quick fixes. For jealousy, that just doesn’t exist. If you really want to make your life better, you’ll have to be patient and learn how to not be jealous the old fashioned way.

#1 Pinpoint the deeper issue. Because there is a deeper issue at play here. Jealousy doesn’t just sprout from nowhere. Yes, it can be hereditary but that’s usually because of the deeper issues – usually insecurity – is hereditary.

I know you don’t want to hear this, but you probably have an issue with your self-esteem if you’re having jealousy problems. If you feel 100% great about yourself, why would you feel jealous of others? Think about this and try to dig deep in order to find the source of your jealousy. [Read: How to get over insecurity in a relationship]

#2 Work on building your confidence. Because a lot of jealousy stems from insecurity, it’s time to start building your confidence. You need to feel great about yourself if you want to stop being so jealous all the time.

The first step to learning how to not be jealous is to figure out how you can feel great about yourself. Hit the gym. Get some help from friends. Realize all the amazing qualities you have to offer. Gaining confidence definitely diminishes that envious monster living within you.

#3 Practice being happy for others. Jealousy is a toxic emotion that will make you think negatively about pretty much everyone. One way to get rid of that feeling is to try being happy for others. If someone else has something you want, think about how hard they worked to get there and appreciate that.

Remember to be happy for people who are fortunate and have great things. A lot of the time, we look at someone who has a lot of great things and think about how lucky they are. Truthfully, they probably worked hard to have what they do and that can actually be inspiring. [Read: 12 steps to change your life and find your happiness]

#4 Avoid being around those who make you jealous. Are there certain people who make you really jealous? If so, steer clear of them. Learning how to not be jealous can be really hard if the one person who makes you feel that way is always around you.

Get rid of them and focus on bettering yourself and your self-esteem. That way, when you are around them again, you’ll be able to handle your envious behavior.

#5 Stop comparing yourself and your life to others. Something a lot of us do far too often is sit and compare our lives to someone else’s. We don’t know what’s going on in their life. We have no idea what it took for them to get where they are.

Our jealousy could be completely misplaced. Sometimes it helps to sit back and stop the comparison. Don’t think about how your lives are so different. [Read: Stop comparing yourself to others and 19 other lifestyle changes you should make]

#6 Learn to appreciate what you have. Many of us look at our lives and think about all of the stuff we don’t have. We see what other people have and then get jealous that we don’t have that. Stop for a minute to think about all you do have.

Learn to appreciate those around you and the great things in your life. Because I can guarantee you, it could always be much worse. Be appreciative. That behavior will help take the place of jealousy.

#7 Work on building trust. This is especially important if you suffer from jealousy in your relationships. You may get overly envious of your partner talking to someone else who’s just a friend and it can ruin a lot of great things in your relationship.

You need to work on building that trust. And if you have trust issues, you have to share that with your partner. That way, you can both work together to solve the problem. You won’t have to deal with it all on your own. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it last]

#8 Try to be around positive people only. Jealousy breeds more jealousy. Meaning, if you’re always around people who are jealous, you’re more likely to take on that mindset. That means you’ll have to start getting rid of all those negative people.

You want to surround yourself with positivity and people who make your life better. So stop putting time and effort into people who are only making your jealousy worse. Sometimes, learning how to not be jealous can be upsetting when you realize that other people are the main issue.

#9 Get support from friends and family. If you’re a jealous person, your friends and family know. And better yet, they want to help. Going to them for help is a great way to get an honest opinion of the matter. They might be able to see something you can’t see yourself.

They may point out the fact that you only get jealous around certain people. This is something you may not pick up on but they will. Don’t be afraid to sit down and have a discussion with them. They’ll only want to help. [Read: 12 ways to stop negative people from sapping your energy]

#10 Get professional help. If your friends and family aren’t enough, go seek some professional help. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to better your life and if that means seeing a professional, so be it.

Sometimes there’s a much deeper issue at play with jealousy and you might not be able to figure it out on your own. Speaking with someone who can help you see what that issue is will definitely make learning how to not be jealous a lot easier.

 [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else]

Jealousy is a horrible thing that can completely ruin your life if you let it. Learn how to not be jealous and save your relationship, your career, and your personal life as a whole.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...