Home  >  My Life  >  A Better Life

How to Deal with Self-Centered People Without Losing Your Mind

Self-love is essential for everyone. Sometimes people overstep those boundaries which is why you must learn how to deal with self-centered people.

How to Deal with Self-Centered People

Listen, being around a self-centered person is draining, but no one said you needed to stick around. At least, not as much as you are now. So, if you want to learn how to deal with self-centered people, it’s time you found out.

How to deal with self-centered people

In some ways, we’re all self-centered, but to a healthy degree. It’s perfectly normal and encouraged to have a certain amount of self-care and self-respect. If not, we risk being taken advantage of and used. Even Mother Theresa had self-care and self-respect, while still being one of the most selfless women on earth.

Most of us have encountered a self-centered person. The good thing is self-centered people are easy to spot. The hard part is not being absorbed with their toxicity.

[Read: How to tell if your friend is toxic and bringing unhappiness into your life]

When you’re around a self-centered person, they love to talk about themselves and are dismissive of other people’s opinions and views. In other words, it’s all about them—literally. Maybe you feel as if they’re belittling you, while also being annoying in their daily encounters.

It’s time for some self-care—and boundaries!

#1 Accept who they are. Sure, you can try to change them, but you’re only wasting your time. The best thing you can do is accept who they are. Not for them, but for yourself. When it comes to learning how to deal with self-centered people, you need to remember that this person may never consider your needs ever. Be aware and acknowledge that.

Even though this person is a family member or friend, they don’t care about how you feel. By understanding this, you know exactly where you stand with them. [Read: How to stop negative people from dragging you down]

#2 How important is this person? Is this a colleague? Someone you don’t really need to communicate with? Or is this person very important in your life, such as a good friend or family member? Even then, think about whether or not this person is essential for your life. Would this person care if you cut ties with them?

#3 Look at your options. Even though you may not think you have many options, you do. There are always options, but you may be too scared to choose one. You have a couple of choices. You can continue the relationship or end it. It’s really up to you. If you choose to continue, then you need to change the way you handle this relationship because right now, it’s toxic. [Read: 16 reasons why people take you for granted so easily]

#4 Create boundaries. Ah, yes, boundaries. They’re hard to maintain but crucial for your mental well-being. Creating boundaries is a challenge because this person is probably not going to respect them. But that’s the thing about boundaries; you create them so you can hold them up. To maintain self-respect and self-care, decide what you’re not going to tolerate and live by those decisions.

#5 Stop doing favors for them. You probably run around like a chicken with your head cut off doing things for them without a thank you or reciprocation. It’s time to stop that. You’re not a welcome mat for them to stomp their feet on. It may be hard to say no, but if you don’t do it, they’ll never stop using you for their own personal gain. Change your life and say no. [Read: How to say no, stop people pleasing and feel awesome instead]

#6 Stay true to yourself. This person may try to push your buttons and put you in a situation that will bring out the worst in you. But whatever happens, you need to stay true to yourself. Sometimes people will play games to get what they want, but don’t fall into the trap. If you’re experiencing feelings of anger or frustration, step back and reevaluate the situation.

#7 Limit the time you spend with them. That is if you can. If they’re someone you work with, that can be a challenge. But it’s important to give yourself space from that person. If you go for walks every night together, space the date further apart. You’re not ghosting them, simply giving yourself the space you need. [Read: When is it time to end a bad friendship?]

#8 Pick your battles. There are going to be times where you’re feeling frustrated, but you need to be selective with the battles you choose to fight. Or else, it will exhaust you. Fighting over every little thing is emotionally draining, and frankly, you don’t need that. Take a deep breath, remember self-care, and let it go.

#9 Surround yourself with other people. This person isn’t doing you any favors. Whether they’re a friend, family member, or colleague, focus on surrounding yourself with more positive and supportive people. Seek people who pay attention to you and actively engage and have an interest in your life. [Read: Why it’s very important to surround yourself with positive people]

#10 Move on. I know I said you have two options: maintain the relationship or leave, but we all know you should end the relationship. I understand if this person is a close family member, and in that case, follow the above steps. But if you don’t need this person in your life, move on.

Don’t surround yourself with their toxic and selfish energy because it’s not going to stop. This is who they are. 

#11 Learn from this. You encountered your first selfish person, but there are millions more of them in the world. You need to learn from this experience and understand the signs of a selfish person. Use this in your future experiences because you will meet another person just like them. It’s only a matter of time. [Read: How to stop being a doormat and allowing people to use you]

#12 Don’t hate them. Whatever you do, don’t hate a self-centered person. It’s really not worth the time and energy. Instead, show compassion. Most self-centered people are trying hard to cover a part of themselves or their lives they want hidden. If anything, they lack the skills to communicate in a healthy manner. So, don’t hate them. Understand them, but also have boundaries.

[Read: How to deal with selfish friends and recognize the ones that hurt you]

Being around a selfish person can be extremely draining. But if you know how to deal with self-centered people, you’ll be in a much healthier and happier place.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
Follow Natasha on