Home  >  My Life  >  A Better Life

How to Build Confidence: 11 Powerful Changes to Alter Your Life

If you struggle with your confidence, life can be especially hard to navigate. These 11 ways for how to build confidence changes your perspective.

how to build confidence

Everyone feels nervous or uncertain from time to time. It can be very difficult once you started feeling this way to get over it! Feeling confident and self-assured can be so helpful in many ways. Whether heading into a job interview or plucking up the courage to ask out that person you’ve had a crush on for ages, confidence plays a key part. Read on to learn how to build confidence and transform your life.

A person with self-confidence also feels happier within themselves and comes across as more attractive. If you have confidence, you are more likely to be determined to reach your life goals, take risks, make brave decisions, and feel positivity about what’s to come. Sounds pretty good, right? [Read: How to gain confidence and change your life]

How to build confidence and never look back

Even if you are terribly self-conscious and lacking in confidence there are many small things to do and slowly start to improve your esteem. Building self-confidence requires time and effort. It requires attitude change, training your thoughts, learning how to feel differently about yourself, and dealing with those negative emotions when they pop into your head.

If you want to learn how to build confidence, read on and follow these 11 excellent tips!

#1 Weed out those negative thoughts. In order to start feeling more confident, get to the root cause of the problem. If you are the kind of person who always thinks you aren’t good enough or won’t be able to do something, it’s clear that you hold yourself back and put yourself down. Once you identify that negative inner voice, start to address it. [Read: How to be a positive person and find the silver lining all the time]

#2 Turn negative thoughts to positive ones. As soon as that negative voice pipes up, simply repeat the opposite to yourself. So, when you hear ‘I can’t do it’ force yourself to say, ‘I can do it.’ When you say ‘Im not good enough’ instead change it to ‘I am good enough.’

It takes time, but slowly and surely, by replacing or counteracting your negative thoughts with positive ones, you feel more positive. Your self-confidence starts to improve. [Read: How to stop having negative thoughts that drag you down]

#3 Surround yourself with positive people. It’s easy to fall into the trap of hanging out with people who reinforce the image of ourselves that we believe. Take a long, hard look at the people you hang out with and who you choose to be friends with. It’s likely there are some unhealthy relationships there.

It is not necessarily the other person’s fault, but if you constantly talk yourself down or mocked yourself, they might have an image of you as someone they can talk down to too. They might not even realize they do it. In these instances, you face two options—end the relationship or explain how you need them to be more positive and supportive. If they are a worthwhile person to have in your life, they’ll do their best to help you.

A supportive group of people—relatives, friends, colleagues, peers, and so on—help boost your confidence and maintain a positive attitude about yourself. Those who criticize you or put you down or always tell you what you ‘should’ be doing are not helpful in your life and need to leave it! [Read: Negative Nancy: 17 traits and ways to deal with their attitude]

#4 Find your strengths. In order to build your confidence, look at your positive traits. Think about your talents and what you bring to the table. Everyone has something they are good at. So, spend a little time thinking about what your talents are.

It could be a hobby or skill or something more abstract, such as being a good listener. Once you know what your talents are think about how you can use them to help others, advance your career or focus on to build a better and more positive self-image. In order to be confident, you need pride in yourself, celebration of your successes, and accepting there might be failures on the way, but never let them get you down.

#5 Accept compliments. A person with low self-confidence finds it very difficult to accept compliments and can be very self-deprecating. This becomes quite tiresome for other people who stop giving you compliments and trying to encourage you if they are always met with a negative response.

Learn how to accept compliments and really listen to them. Respond positively and take the compliment to heart. Also learn how to give compliments. Spreading the love and helping build other people’s confidence gives you a positive, warm, sunny feeling. It helps you feel even better about yourself. [Read: How to accept compliments without feeling awkward]

#6 Smile lots, make eye contact, and walk tall. Just by smiling lots and paying attention to your body language, you give off the impression of self-confidence. Even if you feel scared and nervous inside, make sure you don’t give yourself away. The more that you are able to practice this, the more convincing you will be. Fake it until you make it! If you keep doing this eventually it comes naturally.

#7 Take risks. A life without risks or making brave decisions is one hardly worth living. If you want to give your confidence a boost, step out of your comfort zone once in a while, take a risk, and do something that you never thought you would do. If you don’t do things that scare you a little, you’ll never know what the payoff could be.

Go for that job you want, ask out the person you like, go sky diving or bungee jumping, or whatever it is that’s at the back of your mind that you always wanted to do, but have been too afraid to try, until now! [Read: How to step out of your comfort zone and be more outgoing]

#8 Have patience. If you want to learn how to build self confidence and grow as a person, start by being kind to yourself. Remember to be patient. You aren’t going to be able to eliminate negative thoughts or become supremely brave at the drop of a hat. The more you practice these confidence-building techniques the better you’ll get at it. [Read: How to be comfortable with yourself and embrace who you are]

#9 Don’t compare yourself to others, and accept that you aren’t perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has flaws because no one is perfect. The way you deal with setbacks and how you accept and embrace those not-so-perfect aspects of yourself make you a better human being!

If you constantly beat yourself up about things, only focus on the negatives, and zone in on what you don’t like about yourself, you always lack confidence and feel uncertain. Work to improve yourself and accept the things you cannot change.

#10 Take care of yourself. Take pride in your appearance, stay healthy, get enough sleep. Taking care of yourself helps you keep a positive mindset and look and feel healthier and more attractive. [Read: 17 ways to focus on yourself and make your own sunshine]

#11 Be grateful. Take a moment every single day *when you first wake up is good* to think about the things you are grateful for. Reminding ourselves of the good things we have helps to put everything in perspective. It helps us start each day with hearts full of joy and in a positive frame of mind!

[Read: 20 things to be grateful for in life that you probably don’t appreciate enough]

These 11 ways are a perfect start if you want to know how to build confidence. Remember to start slowly, take your time, and always keep practicing. 

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Bethany Locke
Bethany was born and raised in Scotland and now resides in Brighton where she lives with her partner and rather disobedient cocker spaniel pup. She works as a f...
Follow Bethany on