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How to Be Happy Alone & 20 Reasons Why Relationships Are Overrated

Being single is nothing to be worried or scared about. Learn how to be happy alone and everything will change for the better. You don’t need a relationship!

how to be happy alone

What’s the old double standard? A single 45-year-old-man is a bachelor and happily single. But a woman of the same age is just a crazy cat lady who couldn’t get a man. Right? Wrong. It’s very possible to learn how to be happy alone and enjoy it – you honestly don’t need to be in a relationship to be considered a whole person!

It’s sad that our society puts so much pressure on us to be in a relationship or even married.

And let’s face it – even men get judged if they are single for too long. People may think he is gay, or some other reason. So it’s hard for singles out there sometimes. Basically, it’s nobody else’s business, yet people like to poke their noses in.

But fear not. If you want to know how to be happy alone, there are plenty of reasons to enjoy being single!

[Read: 11 things about being single that people fear most]

Why being single is actually good for you

Many people confuse being alone with loneliness. There is a distinct difference. You can be alone and be perfectly content and happy. It doesn’t mean you’re going to feel lonely or upset at having to spend time in just your own company. There’s no need to feel that way.

Being alone allows you to cultivate the most important relationship in your life – the one with yourself.

Spending time alone helps you to find out what you like in life, what you will accept and what you won’t. It also teaches you that being alone is a calming and grounding experience.

All too often we rush around trying to please other people, but learning how to be happy alone will give you a very important experience in life. It will teach you that you’re just as important as everyone else. 

So, while it’s great to be in a relationship, for sure, it’s just as enriching to be single.

Far too many people are scared of being single. And instead of trying to create their own happiness, they pursue a hypothetical partner in the hope of giving “meaning” to their life. What if the partner is a shitty one? What if getting into a relationship actually makes your life so much worse? After all, a relationship with a bad partner is much, much worse than even being lonely and alone!

When you’re in a relationship with yourself, you can do whatever you want and you don’t have to consult with anyone else first. No snoring, no tantrums, no arguments. It’s actually some kind of relaxed bliss! 

[Read: 15 reasons why being single can be a lot of fun too]

20 things to focus on when learning how to be happy alone

If you’re single, you should stop sucking your thumb in the corner and feeling sorry for yourself. Embrace being single!

It’s really fun, and once you know how to be happy alone, you’ll wonder why you ever wanted a relationship to begin with. Here are some tips and really cool things to know when learning how to be happy alone.

1. You can be selfish

It’s not cool for people to be selfish in the grand scheme of things. In fact, parents try to socialize kids out of being selfish. But what we mean here is that you can do whatever you want whenever you want!

You can do whatever you please, and so go ahead and be self-indulgent sometimes. You’re not hurting anyone else by doing this, so what’s the harm? [Read: How to love yourself – 23 best ways to find self-love and happiness]

2. You get to make all your financial decisions

Feel like buying a new car just because you’re sick of the one you have? Go for it! You’re single! You don’t have anyone to answer to. You have no one saying, “What? We can’t afford that!” If you want it, buy it. How cool is that?

Of course, that doesn’t mean if you’re in a relationship you don’t have control of your own money. For sure, you do. But, if you’re in a serious relationship, the likelihood of sharing finances is higher. It’s also just good manners to talk to your partner before splurging the cash on something large. When you’re single, no issue – just do it!

3. You don’t have anyone that gets mad at you

Let’s face it – most relationships include conflict. And pretty much no one likes conflict. So when you’re single, you don’t have a significant other to start any fights.

You can live in peace and not have the constant stress of bickering with your partner. Don’t underestimate the stress and upheaval a major fight with a partner can cause, so when you’re single, you don’t have to think about any of that.

You can simply sit and listen to your friends moaning about their partners and their struggles instead! [Read: How to deal with arguments in a relationship]

3. You don’t have to check in with anyone about your whereabouts

Working late? No problem. Want to go to happy hour after work? Bottoms up! You don’t have to call anyone to ask “permission” or even to check in and let them know where you are and that you are safe. You can go anywhere, so embrace it!

Also, you never know who you might meet on one of your outings. You could meet a brand new squad, or an amazing person you want to spend time with. [Read: 13 signs you’re tired of being single and need a change]

5. You can be spontaneous

When you’re part of a couple, you have to sync your schedules. And because of that, you can’t decide to take a spontaneous road trip or a vacation whenever you want. But if you’re single, you can. In fact, you can do anything at a moment’s notice if you want to.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you should feel under pressure to go about doing spontaneous things all the time – you should only do it if you feel like it, but the point is that you can!

6. You can feel sorry for people who don’t have these advantages

Even though it seems like most people want to be in a relationship, let’s face it, many people are secretly envious of single people *for all the reasons mentioned in this feature*.

So instead of feeling sorry for yourself because you’re single, feel sorry for people who have a ball-and-chain they’re tied down to. In all honesty, being in a relationship is a lot like hard work much of the time. [Read: A confession – I really, really want to be single again]

7. You can learn about yourself

When you are coupled up, you don’t have a lot of time to explore yourself. You are so busy doing things with them that you don’t have time to discover who you are and what you like.

So, if you want to know how to be happy alone, remember this huge benefit. You could find a new career route or something you’re really passionate about. The opportunities are literally endless.

8. You can make new friends

Many people who are in a relationship don’t get out much. If they do, it’s with each other. So how can you possibly meet new people if you are always hanging out with your significant other? Exactly.

Being single gives you time to go find cool new friends. Let’s be honest, you can never have enough friends and while quality should always trump quality, the point is you get to go out and find new besties. [Read: 11 things about being single that people fear the most]

9. You can reconnect with old friends

Not only do you not have time to make new friends when you’re romantically committed, but it’s also likely that you’ve ignored some of the friends you already have. Not that you don’t talk to them, but just not as often.

So, pick up that phone and make some arrangements to hang out with your old friends. Then, if you do find yourself coupled up in the future, make a pact with yourself to always keep time to one side to stay connected.

10. You can decorate your house however you want

Have you always wanted a pink bedroom with flowers everywhere? Or you’ve always wanted white walls with not a thing on them? Great! Do whatever you want. Why? Because you can.

No more cringing when your partner wants to do something hideous to the place where you live. You can personalize your space however you like and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. [Read: 8 productive ways to learn to love the single life]

11. You can enjoy traveling alone

Okay, some people don’t like to travel alone. But if you do, then this is another perk! Maybe you’re an extrovert who loves meeting new people. Go on a cruise, take a singles’ trip, or just go wherever you want.

Again, no need to compromise. Solo travel is such an enjoyable and enriching thing to do. Once you’ve tried it, you’ll be addicted, for sure. Seeing the world with no one to answer to is a wonderful feeling and you don’t have to traipse around a boring museum that your partner wants to see, just because you know you need to compromise! [Read: The biggest myths of traveling alone – My own personal experiences]

12. You don’t get annoyed

We’ve all been there. Even though most relationships start out blissfully, eventually, we find our partner annoying in some ways. And the worse the relationship gets, the more we notice how annoying they are.

But guess what? You don’t need to put up with anyone else anymore. Yay! [Read: Am I falling out of love or am I just in a rut in life]

13. You can work on your career aspirations

Another thing to remember about learning how to be happy alone is that you can focus on your career. If you’re a workaholic, then be a workaholic.

No one is waiting for you to come home to eat dinner with them. Climb that corporate ladder. Or, if you want to explore new career options and start all over again, you have the time and focus to do that. The sky is the limit for you! [Read: 15 things to do when you feel like you’ll be single forever]

14. You can be unrealistic

Have you always wanted to start a restaurant? Backpack through Europe and find odd places to work? A significant other would likely talk you out of that because they would think it’s unrealistic.

But if you are the only one to answer to, then, by all means, be unrealistic if you want. Sometimes the most ‘out there’ plans turn out to be totally life-changing in the best possible way.

15. You can flirt up a storm and nobody gets jealous

If you go to a party or out to a bar with your friends, you can be a social butterfly and flirt with everyone you meet without a jealous lover giving you the evil eye across the room.

Flirting is great for your self-esteem, and now you can do it whenever you want. [Read: What is flirting? The science behind this common act]

16. You’ll become more self-reliant

This may not sound like a tip for learning how to be happy alone, but bear with us. Whether you have to learn to fix something around your house or sew on a button, it’s great to learn to do something by yourself.

That way, you don’t have to depend on other people if you don’t want to. The confidence you’ll gain from every challenge you face will change your life for the better.

17. You can avoid a bad relationship

There is nothing worse than being in a bad relationship. Well, sure, we guess there is. But you know what we mean.

You don’t have to be constantly stressed out and negative if you’re single. Because if you’re single, that means you’re not in a bad relationship. Right? [Read: The thirst is real – 15 realities of being single for too long]

18. You don’t feel guilty about anything

All of the things we’ve mentioned above… buying a new car, staying at work late, taking a spontaneous trip… they all come guilt-free. No one will make you feel guilty but yourself – but we don’t suggest you do that.

It’s a free feeling that means you’re able to go out and create the life you want.

19. You get the bed all to yourself

While some people love to snuggle with someone as they sleep, if you’re not one of them, then you get to hog the bed. Rejoice in all the space you have!

There is no one snoring loudly, or moving around and constantly waking you up. You’ll sleep like a teenager with no care in the world! [Read: Ladies, here are the 17 biggest benefits of being single]

20. You can help break society’s stereotypes

The stereotype of a single person isn’t always a good one. But go ahead and show the world that you know how to be happy alone. Not only do you know how, you absolutely love it!

Eventually, people will stop judging singles and just mind their own business. After all, there’s nothing abnormal or strange about being single, it’s the most natural thing in the world.

[Read: Single and ready to mingle? It’s time to get out there in the world]

If you want to know how to be happy alone, these tips will help you. So, are you ready to embrace being single? Go for it! You’ll learn to love it.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...