Why Women Lie: 11 Reasons Why She Thinks It’s Okay to Lie to You

Of course, women are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, but on occasion, we do pop out a lie. But understanding why women lie is not really complicated.

why women lie

Let’s get things straight for one second: everyone lies. Whether you’re a man or woman, you lied at least once in your life. In fact, you probably already lied today. Is this a bad thing? Well, it depends on the reasons behind why women lie.

For example, my ex-boyfriend came to my house to show me his brand new car. Did I like the car? No, I thought it was ridiculous, but, am I going to tell him that? Hell, no. So, I acted excited and astounded by the sound of the engine, saying that his new car is amazing. It was all a lie, every single word. But, he did spend a lot of money on it. Money he couldn’t get back, so there was no point to be a Debbie Downer.

Why women lie

Women lie for a variety of reasons. Because you’re a man, you may not be able to fully understand why we do it. Then again, women probably don’t understand why guys lie about certain things either. So, I’d like to think that we’re even when it comes to lying. But anyway, I don’t want to stray away from the main point: why women lie. Well, here’s 11 reasons why. Your life’s question is now being answered.

#1 She doesn’t want to hurt you. This is obviously a no-brainer. Usually, when people lie, they’re trying to spare your feelings from being hurt. Of course, it usually backfires and ends up in your feelings being even more hurt, but, that’s another story. Maybe she doesn’t like something about you, but, thinks it’s better for her to keep it to herself. [Read: The times white lies can be a relationship lifesaver]

#2 She doesn’t want to look bad. No one wants to look like a dick or lesser than another person. So, she tries to impress you by hiding the fact that she wasn’t married eight times before or that she’s rolling in cash when she actually isn’t. This isn’t about you, so don’t take it personally. She wants to impress you or, depending on where you are on the social ladder, wants to get herself to the highest step. [Read: The 20 signs of insecurity that you can’t hide]

#3 They want their lie to be true. This is another reason why women lie about certain things because they want that lie to actually be the truth. In some instances, their desires overcome them, and well, you know the saying, if you say a lie over and over again it becomes the truth.

#4 She’s hiding her past. There are certainly some things in my past that I wouldn’t want the guy I’m interested in to find out. Why? Because I don’t want him to think me less of a person nor do I want him to lose interest in me. Which, can I say, is stupid. We all make mistakes and have done things we’re not proud of.

#5 She’s creating distance. She may be emotionally traumatized from past relationships. Thus, she’s trying to create a wall between you and her. She thinks the less truth you know about her, the easier it’ll be for her when you two go your separate ways. This is a simple defense mechanism but becomes a challenge when you try to connect with her.

#6 She doesn’t trust you. It’s pretty simple. She’s not going to tell you anything true about her if she thinks you’ll use it against her. Then again, if you think this is the case, why do you still hang out with her? Don’t take this as some challenge to win her trust, instead, just confront her on it. [Read: 30 deep questions you should ask someone before you get in to far]

#7 She doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea. Perhaps her former best friend was a guy, but she ended up telling you it was a girl. Why would she do that? Well, because she doesn’t want you to think there was anything going on between them. She hides this information so that you don’t become suspicious over nothing. But, of course, now you’re suspicious because she lied.

#8 It’s all a test. She may not know where you stand with her, so, she tests you out. She may lie to you and tell you a made-up story about her ex just to see your reaction. I can’t lie and say I haven’t done this, I have. Honestly, I wanted to see what he would do in a specific situation and his emotional reaction to it.

It was a way for me to see his boundaries and if he actually liked me. I was young and dumb. This isn’t good behavior, so if a woman is doing this to you, she’s immature. [Read: The clues you need to identify immature people]

#9 She’s a pro manipulator. She may actually be a professional manipulator rather than some insecure woman about the number of men she slept with. *P.S. don’t ask that question, it’s irrelevant*. But if she’s a manipulator, she uses her lies to emotionally control you and wrap you around her finger. The only thing you should do, if this is the case, is run.

#10 She wants to hold the power. She may let you do all the talking while she keeps her personal information to herself. Now, she could just be shy or this could be a tactic for her to gain power. This way, you spill your heart out, while she collects what she needs from it. [Read: 14 ways to overcome power struggles in relationships]

#11 She doesn’t see it as a big deal. She may not see her lies as a big issue. Maybe she doesn’t see her lies as actual lies but rather as white lies. So, when she tells you she likes your car when she actually doesn’t, she may not see it as a huge deal. Of course, to you, it is a big deal. But if this is the case, tell her that her lying does hurt you.

[Read: How to know when to walk away from a compulsive liar]

Now that you know why women lie, the next time you catch your girl in a lie, don’t be so quick on the verbal attack. Take some time to think about why she’s lying and then calmly confront her on it.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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