How to Read the Signs Your Girlfriend Isn’t Sexually Attracted to You

Sometimes we just don’t feel like having sex. Learn the signs your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you anymore, to check you don’t have a problem. 

Signs Your Girlfriend Isn't Sexually Attracted to You

Man, why do relationships have to be so difficult? Whoever has the answer to that question would be very rich indeed. Yet, all the hard work and drama are worth it. The thing about relationships is that they’re a two-way street. That means it’s not always going to work in your favor. Take sexual attraction for instance. What do you do if you’re starting to see signs your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you anymore?

As much as you want your partner to feel the same about you, there’s always a chance her feelings are on a completely different page. And maybe this is what you’re experiencing right now.

If the thought of your girlfriend not being sexually attracted to you has crossed your mind, the good thing is everyone has had those thoughts, so you’re not alone.

Sometimes it’s just our own insecurities that bring these thoughts to mind. Other times, it’s our partner who’s giving us mixed signals, making us think that maybe they’re not as into us as we originally thought.

Well, it’s time to squash these thoughts by figuring out what’s really going on. [Read: What does sexual attraction feel like? How to know the exact feeling]

Why does sexual attraction ebb and flow?

The problem is, sometimes sexual attraction isn’t a reflection of how someone feels at all. Stressful situations in life, illness, mental health problems, and generally not enjoying the weather can make someone feel less sexy than they may otherwise do.

Think back to the last time you were under a lot of stress, did it make you want to shed all your inhibitions and jump into bed with your partner? Probably not.

You were probably tired and just wanted to chill out in front of the TV. Did that mean you didn’t love them anymore? No. Did it mean you didn’t find them attractive anymore? Not at all.

It’s important to recognize that sometimes our level of sexual attraction towards our partner isn’t a reflection of how attractive we find them at all. It’s normally just about how we’re feeling at that time.

Nobody wants to have endless amounts of sex when they’re feeling under the weather but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to when they’re starting to feel better.

So, before you start panicking and looking for signs your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you anymore, perhaps take a step back and ask yourself whether something else is going on instead. [Read: 27 signs a woman is attracted to you sexually & wants to get closer]

Obvious signs your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you, and what you can do about it

Despite the last section trying to reassure you that it’s not always an issue, there are some situations in which your girlfriend doesn’t find you sexually attractive anymore.

There’s no good time to discover this.

However, it’s important not to take it personally. Hard, for sure, but come on, we can’t all find the same things arousing otherwise we’d all be after the same person!

Let’s check out some solid signs that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you, but remember to look for more than one and don’t panic if you experience one, perhaps a couple of times in your relationship. [Read: How to create sexual chemistry in a relationship and make it stay]

1. She often chooses masturbation over sex

There are times when we would rather masturbate than have sex. But for your partner, this has become a reoccurring trend. She doesn’t want to have sex with you; she prefers to masturbate.

Now, this isn’t a bad thing, but you need to find out what’s causing this. Is it her lack of sexual attraction towards you or something else? [Read: 13 steps to become the sexy guy you’ve always desired to be]

2. You just feel like there’s been a switch

Deep inside of you, something has changed and you can feel it. You can’t necessarily pinpoint what it is, but something is very off. All the warm, loving feelings you have are still there, but for your partner, you’re not feeling the reciprocation.

3. She becomes distant when things start to become physical

You start to touch her and try to arouse her, but she’s not having it. Instead of engaging in physical contact, she pulls away. This isn’t to say she won’t touch you back, she will, but it’s very calculated and shallow.

If you see this, chances are, your girlfriend is not feeling sexually attracted to you, and may be wanting some space away from you.

4. She makes the odd remark about your body

When we’re not sexually attracted to someone, we’re more aware of their physical flaws. And if she starts commenting on your body, pointing out things she doesn’t like, well, that’s one of the probable signs your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you.

Of course, no one should ever do that. If she does this, she’s bang out of order. [Read: How to pinpoint the exact causes when a woman loses interest in a man]

5. When you touch her, her body language visibly changes

Of course, since she’s your partner, you want to show her affection with hugs and kisses.

But when you go in for a hug or kiss, her body language isn’t giving you welcoming vibes. Her body tenses, the hug or kiss is very shallow, and she doesn’t let you get too close. Something is up.

6. You’re always the one initiating everything remotely intimate

And when we say everything, we mean everything. Though she used to touch, kiss, and hug you, that’s all come to a slow stop.

Now, if you want any affection, you need to ask for it from her. And even when she gives you affection, it doesn’t feel right. [Read: What a woman is trying to tell you when she starts pulling back]

7. She tells you that she feels differently

Maybe she’s hinted at her lack of sexual attraction to you before, but you didn’t pay attention or take much interest in what she was trying to say.

Think back to former conversations and see if she ever tried to let you know how she was feeling about the relationship.

8. The sex has changed, and not for the better

It’s normal for couples to go through phases in their sex lives. Some moments, couples will feel intense sexual attraction, and then there will be dry spells. It happens.

But in this case, the sex has changed. She’s not as engaged as she used to be; it’s almost as if you’re the one who needs to do everything. [Read: Is your girlfriend turning into a pillow princess?]

9. She regularly makes excuses to avoid intimacy

Maybe she’s feeling bloated, it’s her time of the month, she’s got a headache, or she’s busy. If you find that she’s regularly coming up with excuses every time you try to turn things towards the intimate side of things, there’s probably a reason behind that.

It’s one of the big signs your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you, if she does it often and regularly. However, if she does it once or twice, don’t panic – perhaps she really isn’t feeling well.

10. She often becomes defensive

When you try to touch her or move things towards the bedroom, does she become cold and detached?

Do you get the sense that she’s quite defensive? That’s a pretty clear sign that she’s avoiding something and in that case, she’s probably avoiding intimate situations with you.

11. Flirty banter is long gone

When a couple is sexually attracted to one another, they flirt almost without realizing it. Sure, this doesn’t happen all the time but there is a sense of closeness.

This could be via text messages, double entendres dropped into conversations, or tactile touches when you’re out and about. If none of this is happening, it’s one of the signs your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you anymore. [Read: What is flirting? The science behind this common act]

12. You notice that she’s checking out other people

Now, remember that it’s normal to find other people attractive, even if you’re in a relationship. This is a normal part of being human. However, if you regularly notice that she’s checking out other people and she’s quite blatant about it, she’s obviously not quite as into you as she once was.

13. You can’t help but feel like you’ve been friend zoned

Do you feel like her friend or family member but not her lover? That’s because the attraction has gone and you’re simply close emotionally and not sexually. Of course, some couples are fine with that but you’re obviously not, otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this!

Couples have sex in order to keep that sexual bond alive and if she’s not interested in it and she’s just talking to you like a close friend, sorry to say, you’ve been friend-zoned while in the relationship! [Read: How to be more attractive to women – 27 hacks that work like pure magic]

14. You’re noticing signs your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you, but have you talked to her about it?

Well… have you? Or are you just going to live in misery without ever bringing it up? Yes, you can try to read her body language and figure out how she’s feeling, but there’s an even better way to get to the point.

Have you talked to her? Relationships are all about communication. So, start talking. [Read: What makes a man sexy? The desirable traits that make a man hot AF]

15. It’s time to bring it up in conversation

Well, if you’re seeing a few of the signs your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you anymore, bring it up in conversation. Or this will just continue to torture you. And you don’t want it to get to the moment where you have a breakdown.

She’s your girlfriend, and you need to be able to talk about difficult subjects with her – and this is one of them. Sit down and talk openly and honestly about how you feel. Let’s see what she has to say. [Read: 20 ingenious ways to keep a relationship exciting and really fun]

Remember – if you’re recognizing signs your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you, that doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t

Relationships aren’t cut and dry; there’s no black and white when it comes to love. Even if she’s exhibiting these signs, it doesn’t mean she isn’t sexually attracted to you.

It could be that she needs the sex to be spiced up or that you two have detached from each other because of work, school, etc.

The only way you can work around this is by having a conversation and giving it a little time. If you’re truly feeling like she’s gone cold on you, it’s perfectly fine for you to explain your feelings. However, remember to do this in a careful way.

Don’t use blaming language like “you always …”, “you make me feel …”, “you never …”. Instead, use phrases like “I feel like ….”, “it often seems to me that …”.

Any conversation about sex can be tricky but if you’re in a committed relationship, you should be able to talk about it openly, without becoming upset or embarrassed.

[Read: How to be the hot guy all girls find sexy – 20 rules to instant hotness!]

No one wants to come across these signs your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you anymore. But, it does happen. It’s better to know now than later. Pay attention to these signs, talk to your girlfriend, and make the changes together so the excitement can find its way back into your relationship.

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