14 Subtle Signs Your Girlfriend’s Not Over Her Ex & Still Misses Him

How can you tell if your girlfriend’s not over her ex? She talks about him a lot, or it’s more subtle? Find out if she’s not over her ex with these signs. 

signs your girlfriend is not over her ex

Do you ever wonder if your girlfriend’s not over her ex? It’s possible she does a few things that make you think that way.

Perhaps you catch her staring at an old picture of her ex when she thinks you aren’t looking, or she talks about him every so often when there’s no need to.

It’s not always easy to decipher the thoughts that run through a girl’s mind. But, if she’s not over her ex, it might be more obvious than you think.

Girls can be pretty secretive, especially when it comes to exes and residual feelings of love. But if you ever get a nagging thought at the back of your mind, and wonder if she’s still harboring feelings for her ex, the chances are, you’re probably right!

[Read: How to deal with your girlfriend’s annoying ex-boyfriend]

Is it normal to still have feelings for your ex?

Depending on how long you’ve been together, you might wonder whether it’s normal for you or your girlfriend to still have lingering feelings for someone in your past. Is it normal, or does it mean something else?

Well, it really depends. You shouldn’t be in love with them, that’s for sure. You also shouldn’t miss them or wish they were still around. However, for an ex to pass through your mind fleetingly occasionally, that’s something that everyone experiences.

The problem is when you think that your girlfriend is holding on to the past relationship and wishing that things were different. When that situation is in play, how can your relationship ever flourish?

She’s basically wishing you were someone else and that she was still in her past union!

It’s not easy to work out whether she’s not over her ex, but know that the odd name drop isn’t going to be the biggest of problems. It might grate on your nerves but it doesn’t mean she’s still dreaming of them.

However, if you catch her mind wandering off and she’s staring into space at the mere mention of their name, that’s when you need to start worrying. [Read: Do you miss your ex or think about them often?]

Should you put up with it?

If your girlfriend’s only recently broken up with her boyfriend, it’s pretty obvious she’s still going to miss him or think of him now and then. But there’s a very fine line between missing an ex on memory lane, and pining over him. [Read: 15 signs you’re in a rebound relationship and don’t even know it!]

If you believe your girlfriend is still smitten by her ex or is having second thoughts about getting back with him, talk about it with her. You don’t need to ask her if she still misses her ex *that would just make things weird*. And even if you do ask her something like that straight out, she’d deny it outright.

Instead, communicate with her. Tell her that you believe she’s been distant for a while, and ask her if there’s something you could do to help her.

Explain that her behavior is not helping the relationship, and it’s not helping you trust her blindly because you’re confused by her recent indifference. [Read: The perfect way to get over trust issues in a relationship]

But on a personal note, if your girlfriend is stuck in a shoddy love triangle inside her head, it’s not going to end well, at least for you!

[Read: Love triangles and the confusing complications they can cause]

The subtle signs your girlfriend’s not over her ex yet

If the thought of your girlfriend wanting her ex nags you, use these signs she’s not over her ex to decipher her thoughts. It’ll definitely help you understand her mind better.

1. She’s distant and confused

If your girlfriend gets distant and aloof now and then, that’s normal. We all have problems in our lives that make us distant occasionally.

However, if you ask her what’s wrong and she tells you it’s nothing, or tells you that it’s something she has to deal with herself, question why.

If at some point around the time you have this conversation where she tells you she’s confused, or she talks about her ex highlighting something positive about him, that’s a red flag. [Read: How to deal with your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend if he’s still pursuing her]

2. She seems excited when she sees her ex

Your girlfriend gets excited and jumpy as soon as she accidentally meets her ex or bumps into him. She can’t stop talking about him even after he says goodbye and walks away. And if you sneakily stare at her from the corner of your eye, you may even see her smiling to herself.

And if you weren’t around her when she bumps into her ex, and she tells you about it over the phone, you may notice that she’s more excited and alive than she normally is. [Read: Real reasons why girls are so fickle in love]

3. She starts going down memory lane

Your girlfriend talks about her ex boyfriend’s memories like they’re still fresh in her head. She remembers him fondly, and speaks of him as if he was her best friend. “That guy, gosh, he was such a dick, he would make me laugh so much!!”

Somehow, your girlfriend calling her ex a dick doesn’t feel so reassuring right now, does it? Especially when she grins and loses herself in a reverie after saying something mean *in a nice way* about him? [Read: Old love letters and memories – Keep or throw them?]

4. She’s big on comparisons

Does your girlfriend ever compare you to her ex boyfriend, and show you in negative light? Of course, she may do this only when she’s pissed off with you. *Dick was such a nice guy, he would never do this to me!*

But yet, if your girlfriend compares you to her ex for the silliest reasons, or when you’re late or forget to do something, it only means she’s mentally evaluating who’s the better boyfriend material.

But seriously, if she has no thoughts of ever dumping you and getting back with her ex, why the comparisons in the first place, right?!

5. She’s regularly in touch with him

Exes stay exes for a reason. Exes never make good friends. Of course, it is definitely possible for exes to stay friends, but it’s not likely.

If your girlfriend is still friends with her ex, and stays connected to him in a more than just an old acquaintance kind of way, you have grounds to worry. And you’re definitely allowed to go into panic mode if she texts him often or likes his social media posts and drops a comment every now and then. [Read: Can exes ever turn into friends after a break up?]

6. She still remembers the small details and events

When a relationship breaks down and the ex lovers go their separate ways, one of the first things they need to do is erase their love slates clean.

But if your girlfriend still remembers *their song* and hums nostalgically, or points out every single place she and her ex used to hang out, it only means she’s still hanging on to the thoughts of her ex and keeping it alive.

For what? Well, you know…

7. She gets irritated when she hears about his dating life

Your girlfriend’s supposedly in a relationship with you, and supposedly, she’s happy with you. But does she get irritated or annoyed when she hears that her ex is dating some other girl?

She may not tell it to your face, but if you read her expressions, she may seem distracted or angry. Or, she may get unnaturally quiet all of a sudden. [Read: The best ways to deal with an ex seeing someone new]

8. You feel like the rebound guy

Your girlfriend may be using you as a rebound guy. This could be either to get over her ex, or to make him jealous. It is something that happens frequently when two good friends starts dating each other.

You’ve been in love with her for several years, watched her go from one guy’s arms to another, and never had the guts to ask her out. And finally, she realizes you’re such a sweet guy and starts dating you *probably because no one else asked her out in time!*

And now she’s bored of you already, because you behave more like a friend than a boyfriend. [Read: 15 reasons why nice guys finish last all the time!]

9. She seems to love talking about her ex

She may not talk about her ex with you all the time. But, when she meets her old friends *who her ex boyfriend is still friends with*, does she ask about her ex within the first 15 minutes of meeting them?

If she constantly asks about her ex and what he’s been up to, or if her eyes light up and she talks excitedly about him with her friends, sorry, but she still has the hots for him!

10. She intentionally bumps into him *accidentally*

And you know it! Has your girlfriend ever asked you to take her to a particular place even though you have other plans, and then accidentally bumped into her ex? [Read: 14 things to keep in mind when you bump into your ex]

If your girlfriend gets really excited to go to a reunion, or if she insists that you don’t tag along with her even when you know she’ll bump into her ex, it may be a sign that she’s still not over him.

She wants to catch up with him. Without you.

11. She wants to be his friend

Your girlfriend and her ex boyfriend have broken up, and they’ve moved on too. And now, all of a sudden, she confesses to you that she wants to be friends with her ex because she’s finally over him and doesn’t think of him in that way anymore.

If that was really the case, why would she wants to be close to him in a so-called friendship way? Could it be that she’s keeping tabs on him for another reason? [Read: 12 reasons why your girlfriend needs to follow the no contact rule]

12. She says she loves you, but she thinks of him

Your girlfriend tells you she loves you, but she also mentions that she thinks of her ex now and then. If your girlfriend ever says this to you, that’s probably because you’re being a doormat and letting her walk all over you.

You’re probably a really nice guy, but the fact that she can tell you something like this just shows how easy she’s taking this relationship with you.

13. He tries to get in touch with her and she’s secretly thrilled

And surprisingly, she doesn’t want to be rude to him and avoid him!

Instead, she pretends like she’s a cute, helpless thing who can’t break her ex’s heart and stays in touch with him. *even if that means she’d have to break your heart*

The bottom line is that she’s thrilled he’s reached out to her and she’s got an army of butterflies fluttering around inside her chest. [Read: 16 signs your girlfriend’s ex wants her back in his life]

14. She’s moody whenever he’s mentioned or seen

Your girlfriend becomes distant from you each time she meets her ex. She smiles to herself or spends time by herself, and wants her space.

She’s still in touch with her ex, and talks to him often. Think about it, an ex boyfriend who’s still single… and a girlfriend who gets moody and distant each time her ex calls? Something smells fishy, don’t you think?

Is it time to break up with your girlfriend?

There’s a threshold up to which you can bear her antics and her sickeningly fond reminders of her ex. And this threshold is different for each guy. If your girlfriend pines about her ex often, or gives you any reason to doubt her, talk to her about it.

Tell her calmly that her close bond with her ex boyfriend is pushing both of you apart. And if she really wants the relationship to work out with you, she needs to get her priorities straight.

[Read: 25 truthful reasons why girls cheat on their boyfriends]

After all, an ex lover is called that for a reason – because it’s the past. But if she still chooses to stay “friends” with her ex, it’s pretty obvious that she’s choosing him over you.

[Read: 15 signs she’s leading you on and taking you nowhere!]

Use these signs your girlfriend is not over her ex to decipher the thoughts in her mind. And once you do figure out if she’s still in love with her ex, talk to her. And the conclusion to that conversation will decide the future of your relationship.

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Sophia Strutt
Sophia Strutt loves staring into the mirror, not because she’s a narcissist but because the mirror is the one thing she can rely on to smile back at her, even...
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