17 Sad Signs the Girl You Like is Just Using & Taking Advantage of You

Are you falling for a girl who keeps sending you mixed signals? Look for these signs that show the girl you like is using you.

signs the girl you like is using you

Do you suspect signs that the girl you like is using you? Maybe this idea has crossed your mind, yet you’re still in denial because this girl is perfect in every way.

She may tick every box on your ‘the one’ list. She may even tell you that she likes you, too. You two may already be dating. But why does this connection still seem forced and leave you confused and low on confidence?

Every now and then, you may meet a girl who seems to fit snugly into the dream definition of a perfect girlfriend. But if you ever feel a flicker of confusion in those first few weeks, she’s either only taking advantage of you or keeping you on her long waitlist.

So how do you know for sure if the girl you like is using you?

[Read: What to do when you’re feeling unsure about your relationship]

The very subtle but BIG signs the girl you like is using you

It’s frustrating to realize that someone is using you, especially when it’s someone you really like. You’ll start wondering where you’ve gone wrong. You’re doing everything to make her happy or to become the best boyfriend for her.

You can do and say all the right things, and they still won’t be enough for someone who doesn’t appreciate you. So is she only using you? Let’s find out.

1. She constantly asks for space

She keeps saying she needs space, but you haven’t seen her in two weeks? Or is she the only one who’s allowed to be clingy, but when you do it, she cannot take it? Does she cling for days and completely ignore you for the next few days?

Many girls like playing hard to get, but the girl who truly likes you won’t take it too far. If she really likes you, no matter how independent she is, she’ll still enjoys having you around. She’s probably keeping her options open for other guys.

[Read: How to give her space without creating distance]

2. Behaves like a friend

Does your new girlfriend behave like a friend now and then? She tells you she likes you but says it’s all happening too fast, and she’s not ready for it.

It’s a great sign that the girl you like sees you as her best friend. Love and friendship should go side by side. But if ‘friend’ is all you are to her, chances are she’s using you for attention. She wants someone to love her without having to give love back.

[Read: 25 signs you’re friendzoned by a girl and she’s not interested in dating you]

3. Her friends don’t know you

When a girl uses you, one of the most common signs is that she won’t introduce you to her friends. If you both bump into a good friend of hers, read her expression and notice how she reacts. If she starts acting awkward *when she’s usually very extroverted*, something is definitely wrong.

And if you see her with a group of her friends and not one person recognizes you, you’re in serious trouble.

4. You’re dating… but not really

You and this girl are dating, right? You know you are. But is it really dating if you two are the only ones who know that?

Does she introduce you as a friend or get embarrassed when she’s seen with you? The truth is, no matter how lowkey she is, a girl likes to show off her boyfriend.

So if she sees you as the man of her dreams, she’ll proudly display you like her brand new dress. She’ll enjoy that the other girls want something only she has. But if she’s just using you, she only acknowledges the relationship when you’re alone.

[Read: Talking vs Dating – 16 ways to tell them apart & know your exact status]

5. Her friends are using you

Another sign that the girl you like is using you is that her friends are also using you. When you’re out with her friends *if that ever happens*, do you notice that they barely interact with you except when they want to ask you for a favor?

Yes, she is definitely using you, and all her friends know it.

[Read: How to know if you are being taken advantage of by people around you]

6. She doesn’t label your relationship

You two don’t have to label your relationship if you don’t want to. But if this is something you want, and she knows about it yet refuses to set it straight, terrible news.

She may be genuinely confused about the kind of connection both of you share, especially if she’s just broken up with her guy or is still with some other guy. But it doesn’t justify her leading you on.

If she genuinely wants to be with you, there’s nothing to be confused about. But don’t freak out just yet. This sign doesn’t necessarily determine that the girl is taking advantage of you. She might assume you’re cool with no labels, or it’s just a miscommunication issue.

If this is important to you, you can try to get her to label your relationship. If she still refuses, don’t wait around for too long. It’s just her postponing her rejection for you.

7. She talks about her complicated love life

Does she spend a lot of time ranting about her tragic relationship history? Girls who end up using guys are confused women who want to be reassured and loved all the time.

She may have lost the love of her life and now wants you to be the replacement, or this girl is just looking for signs that she’s capable of being loved. Maybe she’s been rejected so often that she just settled with the first guy who showed her affection.

Pay attention to this sign, and don’t let the girl you like use you. [Read: How to date a girl who’s using you as a rebound guy and not get hurt]

8. She only misses you when she’s lonely

Does she only say she misses you when she’s lonely? Maybe she can’t sleep so she asks you to come over. Maybe she asks to come over so she won’t have to be alone. She may be passionate when you’re making out or having sex, but don’t be too happy. This could mean you’re the last option or the only one she has.

The sign of a girl who truly likes you is that she doesn’t have to be alone, sad, or horny to want to talk to you. A girl who’s using you will let you dance on hot coals almost all the time. She’ll initiate it and ends it at her whims.

She could be doing this because she’s bored or playing a mind game by love-bombing you. Whatever the reason is, you should stay away.

[Read: 17 whys & ways to care less in a relationship when you’re being used]

9. She dominates the relationship

Now that she’s got you wrapped around her little finger, she gets complete control of the relationship. She calls you up whenever she feels like it, or asks you to meet her whenever is convenient for her? You may think if you’re doing all of this, she’ll like you more. It won’t work like that.

A relationship should go both ways. In this situation, she only takes, and you only give. You won’t make it far with this imbalance between you two.

[Read: Narcissistic abuse – 16 subtle signs a narcissist is abusing you]

10. She wants you to listen, but not the other way around

This is different from someone who has a short attention span or is forgetful. This girl only loves talking about herself.

You know all about her exes, her favorite movies, her hobbies, her friends’ hobbies even, but she knows nothing about you. She will just brush it off when you talk about yourself and turn the topic back to her. She doesn’t even remember something you told her yesterday!

If this is what you’re dealing with, this girl may only want to use you to feel good about herself. However, some people are very ignorant and don’t realize they’re being unthoughtful. If it’s just who she is, then you can help her learn to become a better listener.

[Read: Conversational narcissist – Do you love talking and hate listening?]

11. She’s in another relationship

Relationships where the guy is being used often start with conversations about complicated love lives. The girl you like may already be in a relationship, and with each conversation you have, you expect her to develop more feelings for you.

You might see this as a sign that this girl will leave her boyfriend and be with you instead. She might let you believe that, by going out with you, talking to you, or even making out with you!

Now you’re confused. She’s messing around with you but doesn’t want to leave her boyfriend. She tells you she’s not happy but doesn’t do a thing about it.

There are many reasons why a woman cheats, but it’s never your mess to clean in the first place. You’re just setting yourself up to get hurt and to potentially hurt another man. If she can cheat on her boyfriend, what makes you think she’d be faithful to you?

If you notice this sign, you’d better cut that girl out of your life. She’s probably got a few backups with whom she’s playing the same game anyway.

[Read: Is she single? 19 easy ways to know a girl’s relationship status instantly]

12. She wants you to change too much

Does she ask you to change your hair? Does she want you to dress a certain way that you’re not comfortable with? Does she force you to quit a hobby because she thinks it’s weird or lame?

Some people believe in tough love and try to change their partner to be better. This isn’t exactly right, but it comes from love. However, if she changes you so you can match her expectations of you, it’s definitely not love.

There are two possibilities why she’s doing this: She’s using you for attention, but she doesn’t like you the way you are, or she’s just super controlling and wants everything her way.

Whichever it is, take it as a sign to drop this girl. Don’t be a simp and try to do whatever it takes to make her happy. You can still change for your partner without changing who you are.

13. She talks about other guys

When a girl likes you, she’ll make sure you and everyone who knows you know that she only likes you. She may try to make you jealous, but she won’t take it too far.

If she’s taking advantage of you, you’ll notice how easy it is for her to talk about other guys in front of you. It’s not just enough for you to feel threatened by competition. She’ll take it to the point where you feel insecure and start comparing yourself to those guys.

[Read: How to overcome jealousy and walk away from its destructive energy]

14. She’s not over her ex

It’s okay if your girlfriend’s past makes you jealous, but you have to be sure that it all stays in the past. Many people are so selfish that they’re willing to hurt others while grieving a breakup.

If she just broke up with her ex who she was madly in love with, do not jump in! Chances are she’s only using you as a rebound. She won’t even remember your name when he wants her back.

[Read: 14 subtle signs your girl is not over her ex and still misses him]

15. Your gut feeling

If you still can’t really pinpoint what it is, but there is something, consider trusting your gut feeling. Of course, you can’t just blindly go with your intuition; you have to look at the signs above to make your judgment. But many times, we tend to ignore the signs until our gut feeling tells us to start noticing them.

[Read: New relationship doubts – 17 toxic & normal signs to read what you feel]

What you should do if you’re convinced a girl is using you

You’ve seen all the signs that this girl is using you. What should you do? You have two options:

1. Walk away before you get hurt

There are plenty of fish in the sea. She may seem perfect to you now, but it doesn’t mean you won’t find someone better. You need to let go of the wrong one to welcome the right one into your life.

[Read: Feeling unappreciated? 31 satisfying quotes to empower you to move on]

2. Talk to her and get things straight

Communication is key. It’s almost the answer to all of your problems. If you’re having doubts that she might be using you, have an honest chat with her. It won’t be easy, but you’ll feel much more relieved once you know the truth.

[Read: 23 signs a girl is walking all over you and playing you for fun]

It’s easy for a girl to use a guy because both sexes are used to the ritual of a guy pursuing the girl. Sometimes, she may reciprocate and fall in love. Most of the time, she may just continue doing it until you’re in pieces. Pay attention to these signs and save your heart for someone better.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

LovePanky icon
Team LovePanky
The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...