How to Read a Girl & Recognize the Subtle Hints She Drops Your Way

Girls are intricate creatures. I get it. But, learning how to read a girl doesn’t have to be rocket science. Let’s break it down, shall we?

how to read a girl

You want to understand the complex layers that is a woman. You want to understand how to read a girl. I’m going to tell you, because SURPRISE: I am a girl.

Speaking as a girl, and on behalf of girls, I can safely say girls are intense. We have a wide-spread of emotions, layers, and intricacies that make us who we are. But we aren’t alone is this, boys are unique all on their own. Boys are just as hard to read some days, but that’s not why you are here, is it?

The importance of knowing how to read a girl

Well, first of all, there is a fair chance you might end up dating one of them. Maybe you never will, in which case, this is still important because you will deal with girls for the rest of your life *aren’t you lucky*. Your mother, your sister, your friends, your boss, your coworkers—the list of girls in your life is infinite.

Since they are all around you, it is vital that you understand the inner workings of a woman. *Why yes, I did just quote a Little Dicky song—bet you didn’t see that one coming*. [Read: 10 reasons why you don’t understand girls]

Why people find it so difficult to read a girl

Well, I will be the first to admit it—girls are difficult. Just in general. We never know what we want to eat for dinner, where we want to go, or what movie we want to watch. We are incredibly indecisive as a gender, and I don’t think that is ever going to change.

We say one thing, and we really mean another thing, and as girls—we get it. Sometimes we fail to remember that perhaps our male counterparts don’t understand our secret lingo or mixed messages. Sorry, guys. [Read: Girl things that guys just don’t understand]

The secret’s out: How to read a girl

Since I’m speaking on behalf of all women out there *Oh, my goodness who gave me this much power, and why?!*, I’m going to do the world a favor, and explain our methods. As my fourth-grade math teacher used to say, “There is a method to my madness.”

Okay, so sometimes there really is no method, and we are just going in blind. But often times, we know what we are doing, okay? At least we think we know what we are doing. The following is a list of things we say and do, and what they actually mean.

#1 Silence isn’t always golden. If we are being quiet, there’s a reason for it. We like to chat, even though we may say otherwise. Perhaps we ignore you because you did something offensive or just ignorant. Think about your actions in the past few days, even if it seems small, I can guarantee there is a deeper meaning for us. [Read: What men should do when given the silent treatment]

#2 “I don’t want to talk about it” is false. Like I just said, we like to chat. We almost always want to talk about it, even if we say otherwise. It might be incredibly painful to talk about, but deep down we really do want to talk about it and get it out in the open.

But be careful here: Don’t pry. Just sit with us and wait. Be patient, because it might take a while to build the courage to actually express how we are feeling. Reassuring us that you are there to listen, whenever we are ready to talk, really goes a long way. [Read: Ways to become a better listener in your relationship]

#3 Eyes on the prize. If we are staring into your eyes during conversation, take the hint. It means we are interested in you, at least on some level. If you are just starting to get to know each other and having intimate conversations, pay attention to where her eyes land. If she is staring at everything but your eyes, then she might be interested in something else.

But if she stares at your body *up and down, and side to side*, and seems uninterested in the topic at hand, she might be interested in your body and not your intellect. Decide where you want this relationship to go from here.

#4 Not everything is actually funny. I’m not entirely sure why we do this, but its 100% fact. If you want to know how to read a girl, you need to remember that we’ve been programmed to laugh at people that we are attracted to, even if they really aren’t funny. If she laughs at everything you say, then she’s into you, dude.

#5 A gentle graze might mean something more. If you are walking together or working on something together and she makes efforts to casually touch you, she might be testing the waters to see if there is a spark. You might not even notice that this is happening, but pay close attention from now on, because a lot of times it means something more than what it appears on the surface.

#6 Compliments, compliments, compliments. This is what women do, even if she is just trying to make friends with somebody, she will find something to compliment about them. When dealing with other women that I meet for the first time, I try to compliment them on an article of clothing or their hair/makeup.

It’s an easy in, and it works for romantic partners too. She might say “You have such nice curls” or “You’re really passionate about what you do, I admire that.” Pay close attention to the way she says these things as well. [Read: 15 body language cues a girl gives away if she’s falling for you]

#7 Sugar and spice. To partner with my last point, women often try to come off as sweet and gentle when trying to attract a mate *wow, that sounded like something you would hear on the Discovery Channel*. Her tone of voice around you may become lighter and more kind, because as women we want to appear nurturing and sweet. I’m not sure why, but it seems to work.

#8 Just give me a reason. Does she seemingly find reasons to text you or message you? Before I started dating my boyfriend, we worked together, and as a group, we had all planned to go see a movie together. I opted to text my then co-worker *now boyfriend* to invite him to the event. It seemed nonchalant and really was just a reason to start talking to him.

#9 Asking questions. Does she ask intimate questions about your childhood or personal life? If she seems genuinely interested in you, she probably is. Don’t second guess it. [Read: Fun and flirty questions to ask a girl to get to know her better]

#10 Domestic AF. Again, it’s just in our nature to be domestic. So, if she bakes you cookies or does something “house wifey” take the dang hint. She wants you to know that she is wife material, and is worth pursuing. Give her a shot, but only if her cookies are good.

#11 “How do I look” is a loaded question. No matter what, if she asks you “how do I look” respond with “like a super model” or something to that effect. No woman ever wants to hear that she looks bad, okay? Throw sugar on that pile of gorgeous woman you have, no matter what.

#12 Emojis mean everything. Listen, real talk about how to read a girl that you can never ignore: If a girl sends you emojis, that means something in in this text savvy era. If she takes the time to send them, it means she actually cares about your conversation and wants to be cute by sending emojis. Emojis are everything. [Read: How to decode the meanings of the colorful heart emojis]

#13 “Damn Jackie, I can’t control the weather.” Don’t pull a Kelso. If a girl says she’s cold, it means she wants your jacket, or she wants to be held. C’mon guys, this one’s a dead giveaway.

[Read: 11 keys to unlocking the mysteries of women]

It may be challenging to learn how to read a girl, but once you begin to open your mind and think like a girl, it all becomes a little bit easier. Get creative. You will master the art of girl in no time.

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Brett Larabie
Brett Larabie
Brett is a health and wellness blogger who aims to inspire her readers to live happy, fulfilled lives. She follows a plant-based lifestyle and lives in a tiny a...