How to Know If a Girl Is Serious about You: The Not-So-Hidden Signs

Reading signs and analyzing texts may not be the best methods to figuring out how to know if a girl is serious about you. So, what are?

how to know if a girl is serious about you

Dating is complicated. Everything from the initial ask out to the second date, and, of course, the talk are filled with unknowns. This makes knowing how to know if a girl is serious about you challenging.

Is she dating you to hook up? Is she dating you for free meals? Does she just want to meet people? Or is she serious about having a future with you?

These are questions I’m sure you’ve asked yourself whether you’re serious about her or not. So, how do you find the answers?

[Read: The signs she wants your commitment and be exclusive with you]

Are you serious about her?

Before you assume she means one thing when she says something else or you take one comment and twist it into something ridiculous, take a step back. Why do you want to know if she is serious about you? Are you serious about her? Are you overthinking something she said about a concert next month or meeting her friends?

Do you want to know if she is serious about you because you want to get serious and don’t want to take a risk? Or are you terrified of commitment and want to run from a girl who could possibly see you in the role of boyfriend?

[Read: 19 clear signs the two of you are ready for a serious relationship]

If you are looking to get serious with her and aren’t sure how she feels, you might be likely to overanalyze her words and behavior. If she changes plans with you, you might take that as a sign she isn’t serious.

And if you are more interested in casual dating, you might convince yourself she wants more when she is perfectly happy with things the way they are.

Before looking into how she feels about you, consider how you feel about her.

Do you see a future with her? Is she someone you want to get serious with? Knowing the answer to this will help you deal with however it is she does feel.

[Read: How to read the signs your casual relationship is turning serious]

How to know if a girl is serious about you

This may shock you, but the best way to find out if a girl is serious about you is to ask her. I know it is scary. You don’t want to be rejected right to your face like that. It can seem easier to convince yourself you already know and then end things yourself before she can.

But, all that does is sabotage something that could potentially be amazing. I am not saying that all guys self sabotage because they are afraid to get hurt. What I’m saying is, everyone does it.

We all think we know what the person we’re with wants. We convince ourselves they can’t like us as much as we like them. Or we act like they are obsessed with us when they actually aren’t. These are the ways we protect ourselves.

[Read: How to stop pushing people away – why you do it and how to stop it!]

But, if you actually want to know if a girl is serious about you, you must be willing to take that risk. You have to talk to her about it. You’ll never get the truth from her social media, texts, or even by asking her friends.

Now, there are ways to go about this that will get you an honest answer. And if that is truly what you want, you’ll want to do this… Ask her how she feels about you and what she is looking for before offering up your take.

If you tell a girl that you want to keep it casual and then ask her what she wants, she could tone down her feelings just to stay with you, hoping you’ll change your mind.

For an honest answer, ask her honestly. Let her know you’ve been thinking about her lately and want to know what she’s looking for with you.

If this is too nerve-racking for you or if you want to make sure her actions and words match, there are some signs to know if a girl is serious about you.

#1 She wants to get to know your family and friends. It is rare that a girl will take the time to meet your parents and spend time with your friends if she isn’t serious about growing a relationship together. Sure, maybe she is just super nice and outgoing, but it isn’t likely the only reason. [Read: How to make a girl fall in love with you and win her heart]

#2 She wants you to get to know her family and friends. This may be even more of a sign that a girl is serious about you. If she wants you to be included in her world, it isn’t just for fun. She wants to know what her most trusted friends and family think of you. She wants you to feel welcome with them because she wants you around.

#3 She’s happy when you’re happy. A girl who isn’t serious about you won’t put in the effort to make you happy. She also won’t check in to see how you are. A girl who is serious about you will ask how work is going. She will be happy when you have good news.

#4 She wants to go public. I hate that this is included here, but it is a fact of modern dating. If she has social media and posts pictures with you, she is proud to be with you. She wants to show off how happy she is. A girl who lets even her most distant friends know about you is serious about you. [Read: Does your Facebook status really matter that much?]

#5 You make future plans. Future plans are not for the coming weekend. If you plan to go to a party together next month or go away for the weekend during summer, she probably has some serious feelings.

If you aren’t looking to the future with someone, you wouldn’t make plans ahead of time with them.

#6 She’s not seeing anyone else. This is different for each person as you can be serious about someone and not be monogamous. If she is clearly only interested in you, there is a good chance that she is serious about you. [Read: 16 signs she is falling in love with you and wants something serious]

#7 She does things for you. I saved this for last because this is how my boyfriend knew I was serious about him before officially asking me to be his girlfriend. For his birthday, I made him cupcakes from scratch. Then when I met his mom, I made sure I brought her a bottle of wine she would like.

When he asked me out, he said he had a strong feeling I would say yes because of those things I did. And he was right. I wouldn’t have taken the time or effort to bake for him or learn about wine if I wasn’t serious about him.

[Read: The 16 next level signs she wants a serious relationship with you]

It doesn’t have to be a mystery to figure out how to know if a girl is serious about you. You just need to understand the signs!

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Samantha Ann
My name is Samantha Ann. I am 28 years old. It was always my dream to become an advice columnist, so after years of off and online dating and eventually finding...