What on Earth Is Female Hypergamy? 7 Lessons on This Phenomena

Biology has a lot to answer for, and female hypergamy is one aspect of that. Learn how women “biologically” look for the ideal partner.

female hypergamy

It seems that a new scientific term is thrown our way every five minutes, and the latest one? Female hypergamy.

It sounds painful, right? Well thankfully, it’s not. However, it is interesting to learn about. It could give you an insight into how the women around you are unconsciously drawn to their ideal partner. Of course, this doesn’t tell us too much about why many women are drawn towards the totally wrong partner. Of course, nothing is a perfect science!

[Read: 25 real things that make a man attractive to women]

What is female hypergamy?

At its most basic definition, female hypergamy is a woman’s tendency to seek out a partner of a higher status or class than her. It may also mean that she looks for a partner with a higher income than her.

The unconscious thought is to find the best partner possible to marry and have children. Sounds pretty prehistoric, true, but it’s what this theory of female hypergamy is based upon.

This makes it sound like all women are being accused of being a gold digger and finding a partner who will give them whatever they need. Therefore, allowing them to start popping out children with ease. That’s not what female hypergamy is about. Of course, the overwhelming majority of women don’t care about cashflow when falling in love.

[Read: Hypergamy: Motivation for perfection or sexist stupidity]

What a female is seeking out when she’s unconsciously driven by this theory isn’t necessarily looks or strength. And, it’s definitely not always about money. It’s simply something that she admires in a partner. It can be anything, from their passion and drive, to their creative spirit. You could say this is why so many women love musicians. They admire their creative talents.

It comes down to the hypergamy going on in her mind and what she deems satisfying or not.

So, this is good news for those who may not be the most good looking or the most wealthy. Attractiveness truly is in the eye of the beholder!

[Read: 11 types of girls you should avoid falling for at all costs]

What are the most common hypergamous factors?

You’re probably reading this and thinking that it’s nothing more than a huge generalization. Hey, I’m just giving you the science behind the idea!

Female hypergamy basically comes down to what a woman finds attractive about a prospective partner. It leads her towards feel safe, secure, and perhaps in the end, driven to marry and have children.

A note here, I’m not suggesting that’s what every woman wants, of course. I’m simply explaining the theory!

It’s interesting to look at some of the most common hypergamous factors that scientists believe a woman to feel safe enough to want to make a life with this particular person.

How many of these do you agree with? [Read: Hypergamy and the backup boyfriend – Are you her main man or one of her extras?]

#1 Leadership. A woman looks for a partner who has a strong character and is able to lead people around them with ease. This doesn’t mean they’re arrogant. It can mean that they lead in a quiet way too. Leadership means strength. It shows her that if she finds herself in times of trouble, her partner will help her through it naturally. [Read: The rules to being a good partner in your relationship]

#2 Ambition or passion for his job. Someone who loves what they do and has a real passion for it is attractive to women. This can be high flying business-type, an artist, a musician, it can be anything, but they have to love what they do, dedicate their all to it, and really feel it in their soul. This is instantly attractive to many women, and probably explains why musicians seem to be like catnip to many!

#3 A wicked sense of humor. Come on, someone who makes you laugh is great and shows that when times are tough, they will pull you through with humor and gentleness. This is something which many women look for, and I know it’s on my list!

#4 Well turned out and well dressed. The way someone presents themselves to the world is certainly on the female hypergamy list. This doesn’t mean they must wear designer names. But they should have their own original style which suits them and is worn with confidence. [Read: What makes a guy physically attractive and appealing?]

#5 Confidence. A partner who oozes their own quiet confidence is irresistible. It shows individual strength and character. Again, this trait shows a woman that if hard times come their way, they’ll be able to overcome it. Her partner will help guide her through.

#6 Empathy. Nobody wants a partner who doesn’t have empathy and doesn’t show kindness to those around them. This doesn’t mean a woman wants a walkover in a partner. But they want someone who understands what it is like to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes and shows kindness as a result.

#7 The ability to listen. Many women look for a partner who is able to really listen to them. By ‘listen,’ actually hear the words and take them in, not just let them float in and out of their brain and not take it in or process it!

From that list of traits, you can see that female hypergamy isn’t really about finding the most wealthy partner or someone high up on social status, it’s about finding someone with the right personality traits and promises a safe and loving future. [Read: What women really want men to know and understand]

So, why do many women fall for the wrong partner?

That’s a good question, and I really don’t have an answer. This is where the theory of female hypergamy falls down a little. It doesn’t work all the time, so you can only assume that it has its ‘off’ days occasionally!

We’ve all fallen for the wrong person in the past. Perhaps, you could argue that it’s to teach us what we really want and what we should be looking for. You can’t learn anything without having experienced it properly for yourself. Falling for the wrong person certainly teaches you what you don’t want to repeat in the future.

[Read: How to come of a relationship stronger than ever]

So, what do you think about female hypergamy? Do you think it’s a theory that has something truthful behind it, or do you think it’s basically nothing more than an excuse for what women want? I’m on the fence, if I’m truthful.

The list of traits tends to be exactly what most women look for in a partner. Of course, you want someone who is kind, confident and someone who makes you laugh. However, maybe that’s the mystic idea of female hypergamy going on in the background, rather than what we assume to be just good old common sense?

The idea to move past is that anyone who is moving along with female hypergamy does it to grab a partner who earns money and has a high social standing. Sure, some women do. Most simply want someone who will ride with them until the end, support them through everything, and be their best friend. At the end of the day, surely that’s what we all want, isn’t it?

[Read: What traits are the ones that really attracts women to men?]

The idea of female hypergamy is difficult to explain. Really, women just want someone who enhances their life, makes them feel good, and gives them a happy existence!

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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