Controlling Wife? 13 Signs She’s Got Her Boss Pants On Around You

Every now and then our partners can get a little bossy, but how do you know when it crosses the line? Maybe you wonder if you have a controlling wife.

Controlling Wife

Sounds easy from afar. It always changes when you’re the one in the relationship. Sometimes, if you’re not communicative with your partner, they’ll take over and assume your feelings which never works out well. This is when they start to become controlling. You may not notice it in the beginning and you may find it nice that they do everything, but then one day you’ll wake up and see that you actually have no say. Welcome to the world of having a controlling wife.

Of course, it can be with men as well, but we’re going to focus on women in this article. So, buckle up! [Read: Can you have a happy relationship with a controlling woman?]

Do you have a controlling wife? The signs to keep an eye on

If someone tells you being in a relationship is easy, well, they’ve obviously never been in a real relationship. Being with another person is hard. That’s not even going skin deep into relationships. It’s no longer just about you, rather, you should think about the other person and their needs as well.

Trust me, you think that sounds easy! Sometimes we overlook the other person when we want something. On top of that, you need to communicate with them. But not just “hi” and “bye.” You need to share your feelings and emotions with them as that’s basically the foundation of a relationship.

Sometimes the signs of a controlling wife aren’t so obvious.

#1 She is always right. You probably know the joke “happy wife, happy life.” When you’re married, it starts to become more of a reality than anything. But, a controlling wife is someone who believes that they’re always right. There’s no room for discussion. If there is, you can see she’s not really listening to your opinion, more so, just letting you vent. This is a huge sign that she’s controlling. [Read: How to recognize and end toxic relationships]

#2 It’s her way or the highway. Ah yes, it has to be her way. Of course, everyone has their temper tantrums when they really want to do something, but for her, it happens daily. She cannot calm down or relax if she’s seeing that something isn’t happening the way she wants it to. So, she’ll pout or become moody to ruin the experience for you. 

#3 Her love comes with a price. For her, she just doesn’t say, “I love you.” Rather, her love comes with a need at the end of it. For example, she may say to you, “I love you but right now I don’t feel like having sex with you. But keep working out and losing weight and the attraction will come back.” Some of these comments can be more low-key. The point is, she’s trying to control you through love. [Read: The 10 biggest signs of a controlling person]

#4 She always criticizes you. It’s actually constant. Maybe you have a couple extra pounds on you and she’s always commenting on your weight or what you eat. Sure, she probably thinks in her head she’s helping you. At the end of the day, she’s doing this to lower your self-esteem and provide herself with validation.

#5 Your wife is jealous. Now, everyone can become jealous and possessive at times. I think when we have feelings for someone, these emotions can occur. But, there’s a healthy line that we shouldn’t cross. If she’s going through your phone, double checking with your friends on where you’ve been, these are huge signs of jealousy. At first, you may think it’s sweet that she’s showing these emotions but what she’s showing is her lack of trust in you. [Read: When is a girl’s jealousy actually ever acceptable?]

#6 Guilt is her secret weapon. Your wife knows how to use guilt just like a knife. It’s much more effective as it won’t land her in jail. People who are controlling are well-trained in manipulation and use guilt as a way to get what they want. As the partner, you don’t want to see your wife upset so you do the things she makes you feel guilty of. And this is how the vicious cycle starts as she’ll start making you feel guilty more and more. [Read: 16 abusive relationship signs of a devious lover]

#7 You give up on arguing. Now, everyone has a different tactic when it comes to controlling their partner. Some people will try to control you under the radar so that you actually don’t really notice while others are more upfront and verbal about it. If she’s more verbal and argumentative, then after a while, when an issue does come up you don’t even argue anymore. You just give in for her to stop.

#8 They tease you. Okay, teasing is normal and we all do it to each other. But, it also depends on the type of teasing she’s doing. Low-key jokes that poke a sensitive area aren’t designed to make you laugh but rather to bring you down. In addition, she may add “it was just a joke, don’t take it personally,” which adds that your feelings don’t matter as well. [Read: 16 subtle signs a narcissist is trying to control and abuse you]

#9 You’re guilty before it’s been proven. She usually can make you feel like you’ve committed some horrible crime when you’ve done nothing wrong. She’s already blaming you for things without you even knowing what’s going on. Your wife may even keep some “evidence” of your wrongdoing just so that she can support her claim and emotions. Whether you know what’s going on or not is irrelevant because you’re already at fault.

#10 The sex doesn’t feel right. It’s normal for a couple to be sexually active together, we’re not arguing that. But, you may experience an uncomfortable sexual situation. It places in you a position where you didn’t have any personal control. Usually, these type of relationships will start to be uncomfortable sexually as well.

#11 You don’t have a point of view. Yes, of course, you have your own point of view, but it’s not being heard or acknowledged. Your partner may be quick to knock them down. But the point is, whenever you do have an opinion of some sort, it’s never respected and discussed. It’s shutdown and pushed to the side.

#12 You feel pressured to do unhealthy habits. Maybe you never smoked before. Now, you find yourself smoking and drinking a lot more than you normally would. Your wife, through her controlling behavior, may actually be pushing you to unhealthy habits such as substance abuse. Plus, by engaging in this, she has another weapon to use against you. [Read: Is your wife more than just bitchy?]

#13 You doubt yourself. You used to have an opinion and a sense of self. Your partner has succeeded in manipulating your emotions and making you feel unsure in all your actions. In other words, they weakened you to the point where you need to come to them for approval and advice when you know better about yourself.

[Read: 30 signs you have a controlling girl on your hands]

Marriage isn’t easy, but it’s definitely harder when you have a controlling wife. Before jumping to conclusions, look at the signs to see if your wife is controlling or not.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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