Learning how to text a girl for the first time can be nerve-wracking and overwhelming. However, you’ll realize it gets easier as you get the hang of it.
Let’s be real. Girls are on their guard now more than ever before. Texting a girl in the hopes of leaving her with a great impression will not be easy. It’s time for men to step up their game when it comes to earning a woman’s affection. Learning how to text a girl for the first time will be invaluable to you.
Basically, you need to take a few tips from someone who actually knows what girls want to hear. Look, girls aren’t as superficial as you might think.
So being too assertive and flirty early on won’t make her interested in you. Texting her is all about building a connection, so you can’t just skip steps and go right ahead to the flirting stage – that’s not how it works. [Read: How to text a girl you like and make her want you]
You have to know what girls actually want from a guy when they first talk
It’s not enough to just tell a girl she’s pretty and you liked talking to her the night before. She wants more than that. In fact, she wants you actually to make an effort. If she sees you’re trying, you’ll earn more points with her. You have to be interested in getting to know her.
We know how hard it is to text a girl when you’re really nervous about what to say, but being yourself is enough! It’s less about trying to play it cool and more about showing her you actually want something with her. Yes, that might seem like a big deal after just getting her number and texting her for the first time, but it’s true.
Why would she waste her time on you if you’re not interested in developing something real with her? That’d just be a waste of her time. [Read: 14 things women actually want in a man]
Why should you know how to text a girl for the first time?
Your connection with a girl is highly dependent on your text conversation with her. Sure, you might’ve talked for a while and developed a connection, but it takes a while before you really get to know one another. This is why guys often ask for a girl’s number – to get to know her deeper and possibly ask her on a date.
What you text and how you text her initially will leave the kind of impression she needs to know about you. If you say the wrong thing, you might end up boring her or worse, losing her. We know that text conversations seem like the most ordinary thing in the world, but they can be surprisingly impactful.
The manner in which you text her can either make her more interested in you or lose her interest altogether. [Read: What to text a girl you like: 15 ways to make her love texting you]
How to text a girl for the first time without screwing it up for yourself
Now that we’ve established you definitely need help in this field, let’s get to it. If you truly want to make a great first impression and leave a girl wanting more with you, here’s how to do it. [Read: How to keep a text conversation going when you have nothing to say]
1. Make sure she gave you her number
Getting her number from another guy or one of her friends doesn’t cut it. It’s super creepy to get an unexpected text in that way and she’ll be really annoyed right off the bat. So if you want to text a girl, ask for her number yourself.
You can also make friends with her on social media and start messaging there before asking for her number. Either way, it has to come from her. Then, you don’t come off as creepy or weird in any way. [Read: 10 no-fail ways to get a girl’s number every time]
2. Keep it simple to start
You don’t want to start a conversation by going into insane details about your life. This will feel like you’re coming on way too strong and that could potentially scare her away. Don’t try too hard, but keep it simple if you want to know how to text a girl for the first time.
Maybe ask her about her day and take the conversation from there. It’s a decent start that doesn’t show you’re trying too hard. [Read: 35 best text conversation starters for the shy & socially awkward]
3. Ask some meaningful questions
Believe us when we say she’s bored of the same old, “what’s up?” So while you want to keep things simple to start with, once the conversation is going, ask some deeper and more meaningful questions. Girls love this as it shows that the conversation has some form of substance in it.
Ask her what she likes to do for fun and if she wants to do something like that for a career someday. Ask her how she feels about something important happening in the world. These questions are golden, and you won’t bore her to death with them! [Read: 60 meaningful get to know you questions]
4. Keep any sex jokes to yourself
This is a significant one so pay close attention. If you want to know how to text a girl for the first time, refrain from texting any sex jokes. She might be offended by this or disrespected, even if it’s just a joke for you.
First of all, you don’t know what her humor is yet and second, she’s still getting to know you. If you try, she’ll think you only want her for sex and that’ll end any chances you have with her. So, keep them to yourself.
5. But still make some jokes
On the flip side, you still want to make her laugh. So long as the jokes aren’t sexual in nature, she’ll be happy to laugh with you. You can even send her memes and funny videos that you find personally funny!
Just remember not to make any offensive jokes, or you might ruin any chance of building a connection with her. [Read: How to make a girl laugh and like you instantly]
6. Let her lead the conversation at some point
You texted her and while it may be tempting to take over and ask a bunch of questions to get her talking, you need to let her have some of the floor too. This also helps you gauge her interest.
If you want to know how to text a girl for the first time, let her lead the conversation. Also, when she initiates, it’s a sign that she likes talking to you. She wouldn’t want to keep talking if that wasn’t the case.
7. Ask about her hobbies
You always want to ask about what a girl likes to do for fun. And don’t let her give you the same old, “I like to watch movies.” Instead, press her a little bit here and ask if she has any interesting hobbies. Also, to make her open up more, you can also share some hobbies of your own.
If you find common ground between you, even better! Now you’ll have something to talk about to stay hooked in the conversation. [Read: 25 flirty questions to ask a girl you like]
8. Compliment her intelligence at some point
If you keep complimenting the way she looks, she’ll eventually get tired of it. If you really want to know how to text a girl for the first time and leave her thinking about you, tell her you like how her mind works. [Read: The best compliments for girls: 25 genuine lines she’ll love to hear]
That’s enough to make her want to talk to you a lot more. There’s just something about a guy who cares about how your mind works and compliments your knowledge and intellect. It also gives her the idea you don’t just care about physical beauty, but inner beauty as well.
9. Stay playful and flirty
Don’t let the conversation get all too serious. It’s okay to discuss touchy topics here and there, but keep the mood light somehow. This will make her see how positive you are and that’s always an attractive quality.
But be careful in full-on flirting with her as you should save this for when she’s comfortable enough talking to you. If you do this right, she’ll appreciate your playful and flirty side *she might even like it*! [Read: How to tease a girl over text and get her to flirt back]
10. Give her a chance to ask questions
One thing guys seem to do too much is ask questions over and over and over again. You ask, she answers. You ask another, she answers, and this continues without you ever having talked about yourself. Give her an opportunity to ask you something.
A conversation should be a two-way street so if you want to know how to text a girl for the first time, let her ask questions. She should get to know you the way you do her, right? That is how a conversation works, after all.
11. Use some emojis, for goodness sake!
This lets her know you’re goofy. In order to keep things light and interesting, use some nicely-placed emojis and emoticons. You can really make her laugh if you know how to use them well.
And anyway, girls don’t like texting guys who are too stiff in their texts! Unless you’re talking about something serious, then use emojis *just not too much of them*! [Read: Funny emojis everyone needs to use more often]
12. Leave her wanting more
Don’t end the conversation by asking to hang out. Tell her you have to go but would love to chat later. And do this toward the end of a great conversation. Yes, it might frustrate her a little, but in a good way.
You’re basically applying the element of the chase in your texts but of course, don’t do it too often as you might push her away for good! [Read: How to text a girl you like and make her want you]
13. Match her energy
This is one of the most important things to remember if you want to know how to text a girl for the first time. Girls tend to get bored when texting a guy who doesn’t match their energy, so make sure to match her enthusiasm.
If she tends to have a lot of energy when texting, try to match this. When she sees that you’re trying to reach her energy, she’ll appreciate this coming from you. [Read: How not to be dry when texting a girl: 20 ways to keep her hooked]
14. Less is more
There’s no need to text her an entire paragraph to keep her interested and make a great first impression. In this scenario, less is more. Be concise and direct to the point when texting her.
By texting her an entire paragraph, you won’t keep her attention on you. Anyway, it’s better in person than in text when you’re saying something lengthy, right?
15. Exchange stories
When it comes to texts conversations, stories will keep her engaged without getting bored. Also, it’s an excellent way for both of you to get to know one another.
If you want to know how to text a girl for the first time, exchange fun stories with one another! It’s much better than consistently asking her what she’s doing * you’ll annoy her if you keep texting her with this question!* [Read: How to get to know someone over text and build a real connection]
16. Show off your personality
Your text conversation with a girl doesn’t have to be so stiff and rigid. You’re getting to know one another, so what’s the point of texting if you won’t show your true personality? Don’t be afraid to make her laugh, show her your humor, and reveal your true nature.
The best thing about this is if she finds your true personality cute. Don’t hide it, but show it to her! This is your best chance of making a great first impression.
17. Stop overthinking everything
If you really want to know how to text a girl for the first time, it’s important you don’t overthink everything. The more you overthink, you might end up texting the wrong thing.
Remember that texts have no unsend button so if you text her the wrong thing, she’ll read it whether you like it or not! Just relax and go with the natural flow of the conversation. [Read: How to stop overthinking: Secrets to go from overthinker to relaxer]
18. Keep it light and casual
This might seem contradictory to what we said earlier, but hear us out. You can ask her meaningful questions, but you must keep the conversation light and casual. Don’t go too serious, like asking her about her childhood or what her parents’ marriage is like.
Keep these topics for the first date or when you get to know each other better. Until then, keep the flow of the conversation simple. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly!]
19. Avoid shortcuts
We’re pretty sure you can complete a sentence without using shortcuts and acronyms. So if you want to know how to text a girl for the first time, you should avoid shortcuts. Just text your entire thought without using shortcuts.
It’s really not that hard, is it? Some girls judge you based on how you text, especially if you use too much slang. It’s crucial you get this right.
20. Get busy
When you’re first texting a girl, it’s easy to become anxious waiting for their response. However, there’s also nothing attractive about a guy who waits around for a text because he has nothing better to do.
Go live your life and get on with your day! Live an interesting life while you’re at it, and she’ll love the stories you tell about your day. [Read: How to be more interesting and make everyone want to know you]
So, how to text a girl for the first time?
When texting her for the first time, first impressions really do matter. You’ll want to keep the conversation interesting, but not to the point where you’re trying too hard.
Just be yourself, stay calm, and let the conversation flow naturally. If you have chemistry, you’ll naturally hook her to the conversation anyway.
[Read: Texting anxiety – How to send and receive texts without freaking out]
Knowing how to text a girl for the first time without screwing it up is extremely important. In fact, this might be your chance to ask her out on an actual date!
