Have you ever felt that you want to connect to your past lover again and do it right this time? Here’s how to get your ex girlfriend back.
We all have different types of exes in our lives. Ones we wish we never dated, ones that we weren’t really into, and then there are those… you know, the ones that got away. Those are the ex-girlfriends that we constantly creep on social media, wish we were beside, sharing those moments that we view from afar. And you plot for how to get your ex girlfriend back.
And who knows, maybe you cheated, perhaps you said some things during a fight that you shouldn’t have. The point is, you’re now single. But you realized you screwed up, and now you want your ex back. We’ve all experienced regret, especially when it comes to a breakup.
Maybe you just woke up one day and you’re convicted with the thought you want her back. If your relationship ended sourly, it won’t be easy to get her back. Breakups always bring a lot of pain and heartbreak so getting her back will require sincerity and honesty on your end. Really, that’s all a girl ever asks for. [Read: How to date an ex again and get second time lucky!]
What should you say to your ex-girlfriend to win her back?
If you’re in a romantic relationship, you’ll never really appreciate what you have until you’ve experienced the pain of losing it or her. At some point, you may suddenly realize that what you had was worth keeping and that you can’t live without her. Sadly, real life is not like the movies.
It takes more than ten dozen flowers to bring someone back into your life, especially if you had a nasty breakup. You will only ever get her back when you make her believe in your true intentions and genuine actions.
Especially if you were pretty selfish in the relationship or there was something significant you did for the relationship to end, it takes a lot more dedication and effort to win your ex-girlfriend.
Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. In this feature, we’ve shared practical tips on how to get your ex girlfriend back. Check them out in the following sections. [Read: Things to say to your ex: 15 nicest & meanest that top the list]
How to get your ex girlfriend back
You probably think that you can just message her, and she’ll come back to you with open arms. Honestly, it doesn’t work that way. If she’s the one who got away, it’s going to take more work than that. I know, the chick flicks tell you differently, that you can just smile and you’ll have her back.
It’s not going to happen like that; sorry to break it to you. But if she’s the one that got away, you’re an idiot for letting her go, so you put some work into it. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s possible.
Yep, you read that right. It‘s not going to be an easy ride, especially if you’re aware that the reason why she got away was because of you. When seriously hurt in their past relationships, girls tend to fix themselves in private for a long time or go out with other guys just to forget about their ex-partners.
But if you’re eager to pursue her back, face the truth and do it right this time. Go back to how your relationship was before it ended, reflect, and follow these 19 tips on how to get your ex girlfriend back. [Read: The step-by-step guide to get your ex to love you again]
1. Who ended the relationship?
If you finished the relationship, but now you realize you made a huge mistake, that will be hard to rectify. However, if she dumped you, you have a better chance of getting her back. But that doesn’t mean you’re safe or you’re going to win her back quickly.
You need to think of the colossal mistake you’ve made in the past and fix that first. Take it slowly and trust the process. You’ll get there in no time if you follow the next tips on how to get your ex girlfriend back. [Read: Are you still in love with your ex?]
2. Why did she dump you?
You need to figure out what went wrong. She told you, probably a thousand times, but you didn’t listen. So, go back into your memory and try to remember why you two always fought. That’s the reason you’re single. Remembering the old, happy moments of your ex-girlfriend can be easy and will stay in your memory forever.
But remembering one specific moment, especially if it’s a breakup, can be painful and will haunt your ex-partner forever. Find out what the reason was and just stop doing it.
If she wanted to go to couple’s therapy, but you didn’t want to, go. If you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back, you must compromise. [Read: 22 warning signs you’ve been a really bad boyfriend]
3. Give her space
Don’t contact her desperately after you two break up. You need to give her the space she needs. If she dumped you, there’s a reason why. Now, she’s most likely mentally drained and exhausted, so leave her. She needs to recharge her batteries.
The first step if you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, you must reflect on yourself and the relationship’s flaws. To achieve this, you must stop fretting and just think about the relationship’s positive and poor points. Second, giving your ex space allows them to contemplate.
Your ex may just seem to move on once they have some space. This is a risk you must accept. How much time do you leave her without contact? Good question. It depends if you have children with her or not. If you do, you don’t have much of an option. But, if you don’t, give her at least thirty days. [Read: How to give space in a relationship without drifting apart]
4. Is this what you want?
Are you just doing this because you see her with a new guy, and you’re jealous? Or do you feel you need to be with her? There’s a huge difference. The last thing you need is to realize you don’t want to be with her. Are you just lonely? Scared? Confused? Figure out your shit before you even contact her.
If you’re serious about how to get your ex girlfriend back, don’t try and do the same sh*t you’ve made in the past, or you’ll never win her back at all. [Read: Getting back together? Why slow and steady is the only way ahead]
5. Up your game
You want her back? Show her you’ve changed. But don’t change for her. Change for yourself. If you do this only for her, this won’t last. It has to be something you want to do for yourself. If you’re unhealthy, clean up your diet and start working out. If you’re a workaholic, cut your hours at the office.
If you have a present “girlfriend” or “fling,” don’t even think about getting back together with your ex-girlfriend. Remember that maybe she dumped you because she thought you were trash.
Don’t come back to her life as trash once again. If you can’t respect yourself, respect your ex-girlfriend, at least. You need to become the best version of yourself now that you want her back. [Read: 25 signs and qualities that make a great boyfriend]
6. Don’t shower her with gifts
You can buy her something if you’d like, but you have to know that jewelry isn’t going to cut it. She didn’t break up with you because you didn’t buy her a bracelet. She broke up with you for serious reasons. Maybe you’re lazy or unhealthy or damaging, which are actual reasons.
If you come to her door with a handful of gifts, sure, she’ll take them, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to be with you. She wants accurate results.
If you really cared for her when you were still together, you would know whether she falls for gifts easily or not. So don’t try to win your ex-girlfriend back with lame presents and start making genuine efforts.
7. Don’t make a move if she’s with someone else
This isn’t a chick flick, man. Don’t show up at her door when she’s seeing another man. What are you thinking? Your relationship with her has a past, one that, from the looks of it, didn’t end too well. If she’s moved on, respect it. Maybe she’ll dump the guy, who knows, but that’s not for you to decide.
The best thing you’d do if this were the case is to wait for her. If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, be there as a friend, don’t attach yourself too much, or expect things to go your way. [Read: 16 signs your ex clearly still wants you back in her life]
8. Start with friendship
So, after you stopped contacting her, slowly start it up again. But, give her time in between the breakup and now without any contact. At least four weeks, minimum. I know you want a relationship with her, but you need to start from square one right now.
Show her that you want to be her partner again. You were probably her best friend, so be her best friend. Every relationship starts with friendship.
A horrible breakup or having done or said things that hurt each other would be strange to pick up the pieces and be all lovely and cuddly again. Start as friends if you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back. [Read: Falling in love with a friend]
9. You’re going to have to re-attract your ex
Right now, though she may love you, you aren’t looking too hot in her eyes. She left you, remember that. Now that you two haven’t been in contact and you’ve been working on yourself, it’s time you tried to re-attract her. Make her eyes gleam when she sees the new you.
Does she know you as someone who looks up to a fashion icon or who goes out in tees and shorts? Be yourself and keep your actions as genuine as possible. That way, she knows that you’re not trying hard or making things more complicated. [Read: 17 secrets to sweep a girl off her feet]
10. Go on a date during the no-contact period
Make sure you want her back, and this isn’t just your ego talking. Go on a date with someone else. Verify if this is really what you want to do, not just for yourself but for her as well. If you went on some dates and realized there isn’t anyone else for you, go ahead and get her back.
Sometimes, the biggest mistake a guy could make when trying to win their ex-girlfriend back is the lack of emotional and psychological preparation. Yes, you may ask a friend about tips on how to get your ex girlfriend back at some point. But don’t forget to consider other important things if you don’t want to mess this up again. [Read: The no contact rule: A powerful gamble to get your ex to desire you]
11. Write her a letter
It’s a great way to say everything you want to say. Plus, it’s therapeutic for you. It also stands out, rather than a text or email. In your letter, talk about how you accept what happened, apologize for your behavior and mention how your life turns into something positive and exciting.
Writing her a letter is an excellent technique if you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back. Try to relive the traditional way of courting a girl. This will not only attract your ex-girlfriend, but it will also help you gain her trust back. [Read: How to write a heartfelt love letter like a true romantic]
12. Don’t talk about getting back together
We all know why you’re talking to her again. You want her back. She knows this as well, so there’s no need to tell her. Don’t text her corny messages that say, “I miss you” or “I wish we were together.” Leave anything negative, sappy, or desperate out of the conversation.
Your conversations have to be positive and focused on making them feel good. Mention positive memories of them, something exciting that happened in your life recently, or something funny that reminded you of them.
It’s not bad if you text them every day, “how did your day go” but you have to think of other topics to talk about, too. Let her know that you’re interested and will do whatever it takes to win her heart back.
13. Ask her out
Don’t call it a date. Ask them out for coffee or a walk, but don’t make it a date. She’ll get her to guard up, and this isn’t what you want. If she doesn’t want to, don’t push her. Just let her be. She’ll go for a coffee with you if she feels it’s right. Don’t talk about your relationship if she goes for coffee with you.
Talk about things that don’t relate to getting back together. You’re not there yet, and it’s not a good idea to rush. Let the conversation flow as normally as possible, and see how well your coffee date would turn out. Again, it’s not a “date.” [Read: How to win your ex back in a healthy way]
14. Don’t beg if she doesn’t want you back
If you ask them to get back together with you and say no, don’t beg. Whatever you do, don’t beg. You tried, and you ended up becoming a better person out of it, but if she doesn’t want to get back together with you, leave it. Women don’t find needy guys attractive. Instead, you’ll appear like a kid asking for her mom’s attention.
She could only give you a pure concern but no intentions of getting back together with you. You don’t want that, do you? So, stay cool even if she has made her decision of not coming back to you ever again. You deserve to be happy, as well. [Read: How to make a girl jealous & leave her begging for your attention]
15. Make sweet but sincere gestures
The small things matter most of the time. Send her gorgeous pick-me-up flowers when she’s down, or just because with stunning orchids or a sumptuous self-care gift box. When she’s pressed for time due to her job, try to cook or bring her takeout.
Showing up when she needs someone to talk to, listen to, or take care of her is one of the best ways to express how to get your ex girlfriend back. Ultimately, these small but genuine efforts would beat large hollow gestures meant to impress her. [Read: The 30 sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life]
16. Be honest with yourself
This is the first step if you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back. You may be experiencing an emotional roller coaster after a breakup. For the moment, you’re confused and simply want to stop all the destructive emotions and return to sanity. You’ll know what’s best for both of you if you allow yourself time to digest your feelings. [Read: Why you should tell the truth even when it hurts & why it matters]
17. Work out your issues and differences
Things between you two didn’t work out, so you broke up. No matter how much you love one another, if you can’t agree on fundamental issues in your relationship, then the nicest proposal won’t work. Recall the reasons why your relationship ended. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, but focus on what you can.
Did she despise your tardiness, lack of affection, and disregard for special dates? The big things like serious commitment concerns, financial insecurity, and lack of future planning? Prioritize genuine concerns. Apologize profusely if you were at fault. Getting her a lovely apology flower arrangement would also help.
18. Be patient
Love takes time. Everything worth having takes time. Regaining her trust and convincing her that what you have is worth a second chance may take longer than you think. Be kind to her. Depending on her state of mind, she may need time to recover and move on. [Read: Love is patient love is kind: 14 rules to experience true love]
19. Show her the change
One way is to tell her you’ve changed; another is to let her see it for herself. You must have the right attitude and behave in a manner that she finds appealing.
Guys who have their life together are self-reliant, self-assured, and know how to have fun—attitude matters. If you’ve been too jealous in the past, show her you’ve overcome it.
[Read: 13 small changes that greatly improve your relationship]
So, how to get your ex-girlfriend back?
That’s it—19 tips on how to get your ex girlfriend back into your life. If you do decide to reconcile, be open and honest with each other and make an effort required to make your relationship work for both of you.
If it doesn’t work, agree to part ways. Trying to preserve a terrible relationship hurts both of you. This is your life. That means you must work hard to get her back if she is yours. [Read: Is your ex still thinking about you? All the subtle signs that matter]
Now that you know how to get your ex girlfriend back, what are you waiting for? What you want is yours, so don’t hold back. Don’t let her be a “what if” in your life.
