You really like her, and so you want to know how to get a girl to ask you out. If you don’t want to do it, you have to get her to her take the lead.
It doesn’t really matter where you live in the world, we still have the notion that men should be the ones to make the first move. But for some guys, it’s exhausting always to have to do the asking. This means you probably want to know how to get a girl to ask you out instead.
Of course, some women don’t have a problem taking the lead and making a move. Actually, whether you believe us or not, women tend to be the ones who set up the situations for you guys to ask them out.
Sorry, you probably thought that you planned to stand next to her at the concert. No, no, no—she saw you ten minutes ago and picked the perfect spot for you to approach her. See? They’re pretty clever. [Read: 18 hints a girl gives away if she wants you to make a move on her]
Why girls don’t usually ask guys out
You would think that in today’s modern world, girls would have no problem asking guys out. After all, men and women are equal, and this isn’t the 1950s anymore.
Studies have shown that the overwhelming majority of women prefer to have the man ask them out. Why would that be?
Well, there are a variety of reasons, but probably the most important one is that we are still biologically programmed that way. In nature, the males tend to chase the females, not the other way around. [Read: 20 steps to get a girl to like you over text and make her want to text more]
Females are seen as the “prize” that males “win.” And when a female decides to give a male attention, then this male is the “winner” over all of the other males. This is true of almost all animals on the planet – including humans.
So, because we’re biologically programmed that way, women still prefer men to do the chasing, including asking them out. And when they won’t, something feels “off” to them.
Another reason girls don’t like to ask guys out is that culturally speaking, they like dominant men. Women want a man who takes charge and sees them as someone that he wants to be with. [Read: 31 secrets to get a girl to like you and desire you without asking her out]
If a guy is too shy to ask a girl out, then sometimes they see that as a weak characteristic. She doesn’t want to do “your” work. To most girls, that’s your job – to ask them out. A lot of girls don’t like it when those lines are blurred.
Things you can do to give her the courage to ask you out
If you still don’t want to do the asking, then here are some things you can do to encourage a girl to ask you out. Here are a few of them.
1. Flirt with her
First of all, you need to flirt with her. If you don’t, then she won’t know you like her. She might even friend-zone you. So, you have to show your interest in your body language and what you say to her. [Read: How to flirt with girls – 25 secrets and 41 lines to seduce and make her blush]
2. Compliment her
While you’re flirting with her, you should throw compliments her way. You should say how beautiful her eyes are or how she has a sparkling personality.
Even just saying something like, “you’re so awesome!” will let you know that you really like her.
3. Rip on her exes
Now, you don’t want to go insulting them for no reason. What we mean by “ripping” on them is saying things like they were idiots to let her go.
This shows her that you think that they were lucky to have been in a relationship with her. She will probably pick up on the hint.
4. Talk to her
You can’t get a girl to ask you out if she doesn’t know you. She is not going to go out of her way to ask out a stranger.
So, you will have to talk to her and get to know her a bit before she thinks of dating you. You might not need that because you are sexually attracted to her, but she does. [Read: How to talk to a girl – 20 secrets that will make you irresistible to women]
5. Open up to her
When you are talking to her and getting to know her, open up. Share personal things with her so she can get to know you too. Girls are impressed when a guy can share who he is.
A lot of guys are pretty emotionally unavailable, so stand out from the crowd and do something different.
How to get a girl to ask you out
After a while, it becomes tiring. You approach a woman, talk to her, ask her out, and maybe she says yes. There’s a lot of pressure on guys to make these first steps. But, we live in the 21st century! Women are working, making their own money, and owning their own things, so, why can’t they make the first move?
Of course, it’s a relatively new concept, so many women are hesitant. However, you can help them be the ones who make the first move. Put the power in her hands by learning how to get a girl to ask you out instead.
1. Don’t see yourself as a weak man
We all have pride and ego, but allowing a girl to ask you out isn’t going to make you appear like a weak man. So, don’t be so hot-headed when it comes to this. Let her ask you out.
Like we said before, we’re living in the 21st century. It’s all about equality, and this is just a part of it. [Read: How to make a girl fall for you without even asking her out]
2. Don’t expect all girls to do this
You may be a hot guy, but that doesn’t mean every girl you encounter will ask you out. Lower your expectations when it comes to this.
Some women are shy, traditional, or scared of rejection, so they’re not going to jump to ask you out. So, try to see what type of woman she is. That way you figure out the next move. [Read: How to seduce her like a gentleman]
3. Be open
You don’t have to tell her your life story, but you want to be open and friendly. If she’s going to ask you out, she needs to feel comfortable and sense a connection between you two. If you’re grumpy and talking to her with your arms crossed, it’s not going to happen. Having a smile on your face allows her the opportunity to ask you out.
4. Flirt
Show her that you’re attracted to her if she’s going to ask you out. If you don’t show any sexual attraction through flirting, then she’ll think that you’re not interested in her that way.
Hence, she won’t make a move. So, don’t be shy, be flirtatious. She’ll feel comfortable and more secure in making a move. [Read: How to make a girl want you and desire you sexually]
5. Leave small hints
You don’t need to ask her out, but you need to show her your interest. So, you should leave her small hints. If she brings up a movie coming out, you can say, “Oh, I really want to see that one.”
This gives her the chance to say, “We should see it together!” Boom. Within five seconds, you just got her to ask you out on a date.
6. Do make her chase for it
Listen, at the end of the day, the dating world is a game. Both men and women like to chase and hunt.
Yes, women like men who are aggressive, but only to a point. Then it starts to feel inauthentic, which won’t get you the date. You can tease her playfully and make her chase you a little bit. [Read: How to tease a girl over text and get her to flirt back with you]
7. Push-pull technique
It’s a technique you use in order to make her chase you. Now, we hate to say it, but it does work; at least, it does on a lot of people. What you need to do is compliment a woman or flirt with her, showing her your interest.
Then, you pull away and act a little more reserved and cold. This sounds horrible, but if done right, it’s effective. Haven’t you seen any chick flick? Being somewhat emotionally distant always works. [Read: How to play hard to get with a girl and do it just right]
8. Be an active listener
So many men just go on and on and on about themselves. Shut up! Breathe and lean back, you’re choking her with your never-ending stories.
If you want her to relax, allow her the opportunity to talk. If not, she feels you don’t really care about her but are just interested in making conversation so that you can get into her pants. Plus, by listening, you allow the chemistry to develop naturally.
9. Don’t be too nice
We hate to say it but she’s not going to ask you out if you’re the nice guy. Okay, you don’t have to be an asshole, but don’t let her walk all over you. You still need to show your masculinity and confidence when you talk to her.
Be nice, be open, but don’t be afraid to show your witty humor or tease her. Ignite the sexual attraction in her. [Read: The nice guy syndrome and 16 reasons why girls find them boring]
10. If you’re not interested in her, don’t lead her on
Women are terrified of rejection. Really, they are. They’re not used to being rejected because men are usually the ones who make the first move.
But, if you want more women to be the ones asking men out, you’ll need to give them a safe space to do so. Don’t lead her on and then drop her after you flirted up a storm; you’ll traumatize her. She’s never going to ask someone out again.
11. Don’t forget nonverbal communication
Sure, you may be talking up a storm with her, but your arms are crossed. That doesn’t look inviting.
When talking to her, smile, wink, and touch her hand or arm—these are all nonverbal cues of your interest in her. You know the saying, “actions speak louder than words.” This is exactly what we’re talking about.
12. You’re not going to get it right the first time
You’re used to asking women out, so when you try this out the first time, it’s going to feel strange. That’s okay though. Don’t put so much pressure or thought into it.
If you follow these guidelines, you’ll do fine. You may not get it the first time, but that’s what practice is for, right? [Read: How to make a girl jealous and leave her begging for your attention]
13. Give her the chance to ask you out
It depends on where you are, but there may be a moment when she has the opportunity to ask you out. Give her that moment. It takes a couple of seconds but don’t rush past it.
Maybe you share a moment of eye contact or a hug goodbye. Whatever it is, give her some time. Now, if she doesn’t do anything within a couple of seconds, ask her out.
What you should do if she doesn’t ask you out
If you have tried everything you can to get a girl to ask you out – but she hasn’t – what should you do now? Well, it depends on you as a person. [Read: What to talk about with a girl you like – 48 ways to build a connection]
If you’re courageous, you can just ask her out. That’s probably what she wants you to do anyway. If you think that she has been flirting back with you and is open to going on a date, then just step up. Do it yourself!
But at the same time, maybe she hasn’t asked you out because she only likes you as a friend. You never really know for sure. But if you’re too scared to ask her out, then you could just accept the fact that she might not be into you like you are into her. In that case, you can just cut your losses and move on to find someone else who is more interested in you.
[Read: 18 secrets to impress any girl no matter who she is]
So, now you have the tools to get a girl to ask you out. Now you just need to use them. Come on, give it a try. You’ll notice that it’s much easier to be on the other side of the coin.
