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How to Get a Girl in Bed: Give Her the Control & Work Your Magic

You’ve been casually dating a girl for some time, but you can’t seem to get her in bed? Knowing how to get a girl in bed takes more than a dinner and movie.

how to get a girl in bed

If you’ve watched any romantic comedies or teenage flicks, you know how they portray getting girls. You use a pickup line, buy her a drink, and, bam, she’s yours. Now, in some cases, that may work. It really depends on your sexual chemistry and the moment itself. However, in other cases, the secret to knowing how to get a girl in bed with you feels like you’re climbing Mount Everest.

How to get a girl in bed

The problem is many people expect sex to happen on the first, second, or third date. When in reality, she doesn’t owe you anything. She’s not obligated to sleep with you because you bought her a drink. She doesn’t have to give you a blowjob because you told her she looks nice. If you really want to sleep with a girl, there are a couple things to heighten your chances.

Am I telling you that they’ll 100% work? No, because at the end of the day, she chooses what she wants. It’s not as hard as it looks, but you must change your game.

#1 Don’t make it a goal. I know you want to sleep with her. If that’s the only thing going on in your mind, it’s going to show. She knows you’re interested in her. So obviously, at some point, she knows you will make a move. Put the whole idea of having sex with her in the back of your mind and actually talk to her. Of course, we know you want to f*ck us, but don’t make it so obvious. We’re not pieces of meat. [Read: How to tell if there’s serious chemistry between the two of you]

#2 You’re not the only one. You’re not the first guy that’s tried to get into her pants. And if you’re trying to figure out how to get a girl in bed, this is something you should accept right away. I suggest ditching the pickup lines because she’s heard it all a thousand times before. If you want her attention, act the opposite as all the other guys desperately trying to hook up with her. [Read: How to make a girl like you without asking you out]

#3 What does she need? You need to figure out what she’s looking for from a man. We all have needs, including you. For example, you may look for a girl who’s more adventurous in bed, this is a need of yours. This means you listen and ask questions, try to get to know her. You need to see what pushes her, what motivates her, what stimulates her mind.

#4 Fulfill her needs. Once you figure out what she needs, meet them. For example, if she needs some adventure and spontaneity in her life, give her that through conversation or activities. Show her you are the guy who fulfills her needs. This way, you don’t look like every other guy. You take an interest, you do something.

#5 Push her, but not too much. This is a sensitive line you balance on. If she wants adventure, give her that, but only up to the point where she can handle it. If you push her too much, she backs off. This is even the case when it comes to guys wanting to go home with a girl. If they keep asking her to go home with them, usually, she rejects the offer. She no longer feels in control, rather she feels forced. [Read: How to seduce women with words – A guide from a woman]

#6 Don’t jump on her. If you want to know how to get a girl in bed, here is a general rule you can’t ignore, don’t attack her like you haven’t eaten in weeks. This rule applies whether on your first date, at her house making out with her on the couch, or just about to have sex. You’re seducing her. This is the whole point, but you can’t rush into it. First, it kills the sexual tension you’ve built up. Secondly, it may scare her.

#7 If she invites you in, be cool. When a woman invites a man into her home, it’s a huge deal. A home is personal. This means, when you walk into the door, be respectful. Don’t all of a sudden strip naked at the door. You’re close to possibly having sex with her, but you’re also close to possibly not having sex with her. Just because she invites you over doesn’t mean she’s having sex with you.

#8 You can kiss her. If you’re at her house, at your house, or really anywhere, you can kiss her. Listen, she’ll let you know whether or not she’s cool with it. So, if she accepts the kiss, continue with it. Do use your hands. However, don’t immediately start grabbing her ass and breasts. Go slow, you’re in no rush. Focus on building the sexual tension. [Read: How to get a girl to kiss you by subtly arousing her]

#9 Take your time. If you’re in the middle of a hot and steamy make-out session, don’t rush into sex. Actually, it’s in your best interest to take it slow and enjoy foreplay with her. Her senses will be heightened, as will yours and the sexual chemistry will be off the roof. Play around with each other and explore during foreplay.

#10 It’s a little give and take. You want to kiss her and touch her, but you also want to pull back at times and give her some space. She’ll move into you and continue, it’s like a light game, a push and a pull. If you take a small break there’s nothing wrong with that. Laugh or talk for a little bit and then continue. You build a connection between you. [Read: Fractionation seduction and how men can seduce women using emotions]

#11 All women have walls. Know that each woman is different and have their own boundaries when it comes to sex, etc. Some women have no problem with a make-out session, but don’t feel comfortable having sex right away.

You’ll find out as you two continue being intimate. However, if she’s not comfortable with having sex, just go back a step and continue with your make-out session. Know your boundaries.

#12 Know the female anatomy. You should do some research beforehand and  know where to touch a woman. We have many sensitive areas, erogenous zones, which you should familiarize yourself with. Areas like the neck, thighs, and breasts are highly sensitive when aroused, so pay attention to those areas. Kiss, lick, nibble, or grab them—making her lose her mind. [Read: The top 10 erogenous zones that drive women wild]

#13 Show her you’re responsible. Many women have no problem having sex with guys. However, they’re simply scared of contracting an STI. Which is completely understandable. If you do everything right, but never carry a condom and wondering why she doesn’t want to sleep with you, well, this is a pretty good reason why. Carry protection. It’s sexy when a guy actually cares about his health and the woman he’s sleeping with.

[Read: 20 moves to make any girl melt and desire you more]

Now that you know what you need to do to increase your chances of how to get a girl in bed, if I were you, I’d start using these tips right away.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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