Girlfriend flirts with other guys? You’re probably a little jealous. A flirty girlfriend is something you need to handle if you want to stay together.
You liked her at the start because she was fun, she made you smile, she got on well with everyone, and life was simply sunny around her. However, now you’re officially an item, your flirty girlfriend is becoming a problem. This sunny and somewhat flirtatious persona makes you a little uneasy around other people. When your girlfriend flirts with other guys, it’s hard. There’s no way to sugarcoat it.
Some people are just naturally flirtatious and have no clue that they’re flirting. To them, they’re just being friendly and themselves. There’s no harm in it, in their eyes.
But what if it makes you feel uncomfortable because the other person she’s talking to is looking at her behavior and mistaking it for flirtation?
It’s a difficult one. [Read: What is flirting? The science behind this common act]
Some people are naturally flirty
Learning how to deal with a flirty girlfriend really comes down to accepting that this is her nature, but also understanding whether or not you’re able to handle it. You can’t change someone’s core nature. Although you can explain how their behavior makes you feel.
If she’s not willing to change, or she finds that she simply can’t, examine whether you’re able to carry on in the relationship. When your girlfriend flirts with other guys, it’s never easy.
Not everyone understands that they’re coming over as flirty. They might think they’re just being friendly and fun.
Everyone reacts differently to words and actions, but if you see a very flirty exchange going on, how are you supposed to feel comfortable? She might think it’s nothing, but to you, it’s borderline cheating. [Read: Is flirting with someone else really cheating just because you’re in a relationship already?]
Can she curb her flirty ways?
Some people are naturally flirty, while others find it harder to act in a way that is even remotely considered flirting.
The thing is, flirting can be part of human nature. But it can also damage relationships when one partner flirts with other people, either intentionally or unintentionally.
Is your girlfriend quite flirty with other guys? If so, do you enjoy watching her get a reaction out of other people, or do you find it difficult?
Most people would find it hard to watch. While it’s probably nothing more than friendly banter, it can cause a huge issue in your relationship if you struggle with it. [Read: The 15 signs she’s not emotionally ready to be in a relationship with you]
The deeper reasons why she’s so flirty with you and every other guy
We know seeing your girlfriend make googly eyes at the waiter might make you want to throw a brick through the window, but just relax a little!
There are some very common reasons why women flirt with other guys, and almost none of them have to do with actually wanting to be with someone else.
In fact, that’s usually the farthest thing from their minds. Here’s why your girlfriend might be flirting with other guys so much.
1. It’s fun
You can’t deny that flirting is super fun. It’s interesting and entertaining to strike up a conversation with a stranger and get some chemistry whirling around.
You yourself probably even think it’s fun to flirt with other people, even if you have a girlfriend. As long as it’s harmless flirting, it can actually be healthy for both of you to feel comfortable enough in your relationship to be able to innocently flirt just a bit. [Read: What is emotional cheating and 15 signs to recognize an affair in the making ASAP]
2. She’s insecure
A lot of women who feel the need to flirt with other people even when they’re committed to someone have some insecurity issues.
By flirting with other people, they’re being reassured that they’re attractive enough for someone to pay attention to them.
If she suffers from low self-esteem, she’ll more than likely flirt just to make herself feel better about herself. One way to reduce this is to make sure she’s feeling confident. Compliment her a lot and make her feel wanted. [Read: 12 things men do that make women insecure in relationships]
3. She just wants the attention
Some girls just want more attention than others. This also goes hand-in-hand with being insecure. However, that’s not always the case. When your girlfriend flirts with other guys, maybe you should consider whether she does it to feel good about herself.
Or, she might just be the type of girl who always wants to be the center of attention. And how else would she get that male attention?
Flirting might be her only tool to get that extra attention she wants from all the surrounding guys. [Read: 16 attention whore signs to watch out for!]
4. Maybe you’re not flirting with her enough
If she’s not getting what she needs from you in terms of flirting, she’s going to look elsewhere to get it. This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want you in general, it just might mean that she wants to get her flirt on and you’re just not flirty enough for her.
If it’s just that fun banter she’s looking for, there’s no need to worry. It’s probably innocent. But if you want her to stop it, kick up your flirting game and make her see that she doesn’t need to get that entertainment elsewhere—it’s right there in front of her. [Read: 20 sexy ways to flirt with your girlfriend and make her feel desired]
5. She might like to see you jealous
Some girls like to see that their man cares about them. One way they can do this is by making them jealous. To some women, jealousy means that you care enough about them to get upset by the sight or thought of them with someone else.
If you’re not very verbal about how much you care about her, she might be flirting to see just how much you actually do care. If you’re more open about your feelings, she’ll probably flirt less. [Read: 15 types of toxic relationships to watch out for]
6. She might want you to break up with her
As horrible as it sounds, the truth is that some women use this tactic to try to get you to leave them. A lot of times, this is due to their inability to break up with you.
If your girlfriend flirts with other guys to get you to end things, she’s nothing short of a coward, and you’re better off without her.
She could feel trapped and unhappy in the relationship but just doesn’t know how to end things. So, she uses flirting as a way to get you upset enough to leave her. It’s a sad thought, but it could be the reason your girlfriend flirts with other guys. [Read: How to break up with your girlfriend like a man and stop pussyfooting]
7. She doesn’t even know she’s flirting
Sometimes your girlfriend might just be trying to be friendly. A lot of girls are just trying to be polite, but for whatever reason, it comes across as flirting instead.
This could be your girlfriend. Maybe she has a personality that just seems more flirtatious than others. Don’t assume she’s flirting if she’s just always nice to the people she meets.
8. She wants to get a rise out of you
Honestly, we’ve never understood why girlfriends do this, but it is a reality. Some women actually flirt with other guys just to see their boyfriends get angry and frustrated. Who knows why!
In order to get her to stop this, just ignore her flirting and don’t get angry. If she sees that it’s not doing anything to you, she’ll lighten up and stop the annoying flirtatious behavior. [Read: 16 subtle yet scary clues you have a psycho girlfriend]
9. She’s not satisfied with the relationship
If she’s seeking attention, affection, and flirtation elsewhere, then she might not be satisfied in her current situation. If she were truly 100 percent happy, she wouldn’t feel the need to turn to other guys to meet her needs.
Find out what she’s missing and give it to her! It will definitely decrease her flirting with other people and can even strengthen your relationship. [Read: 19 wily signs she only wants your attention and not a serious relationship]
10. You’re boring her
The reasons your girlfriend flirts with other guys might be because she’s bored!
Flirting is fun and exciting, and if she’s doing a lot of it, then she must not be feeling like she’s getting those things from you. This happens a lot after the “honeymoon phase.”
If that exciting, new time in the relationship is over and now you’re both comfortable and used to each other, look for new ways to get back some of the excitement that has gone missing. [Read: 23 ingenious ways to keep a relationship exciting after the honeymoon phase]
How to recognize the signs of a flirty girlfriend
We’re all a little unintentionally flirty from time to time. But if your girlfriend seems to be flirting up a storm with anyone she meets, it could definitely become a problem.
Now you know the reasons why women flirt, you need to know the signs that you have a flirty girlfriend in your midst.
To check that you’re not overreacting, it’s worthwhile doing research into the main signs of a flirty girlfriend. That way, you can be sure that what you think you’re seeing, is actually reality. After all, it’s very easy to blow things out of all proportion.
Don’t panic if you see one or two of these signs, but if you see many, that’s a pretty sure sign that your girlfriend is more flirty than friendly. [Read: Sexual flirting – How to step up from regular flirting and naughty it]
1. She’s very tactile around others
Is she always touching people on the arm, nudging them playfully, or generally touching them every so often? Some people do this without even realizing it, but it could be one of the major signs of a flirty girlfriend in your midst! [Read: When does flirting become cheating? Your must-have guide]
By this, she comments on things which the other person could take to be friendly and joking, or that she’s flirting with them. You pick up on it and assume she’s flirting because it’s obvious to you.
How does that make you feel? Probably a little uncomfortable and maybe a tad bit jealous. You’d be right to feel that way if she is intentionally flirting. In that case, a conversation probably needs to be had.
3. She’s deliberately giggly around other people
The fact that your girlfriend is laughing and smiling isn’t a bad thing, it means she’s happy and that’s great!
However, if her laugh turns to girlish giggling and she’s always smiling around other people, while displaying some of the other signs of a flirty girlfriend, it’s probably going to make you feel a little uneasy. This is one of the deliberate signs your girlfriend flirts with other guys. [Read: How to tell if your girlfriend is texting another guy behind your back]
4. She plays with her hair a lot
One of the main signs of flirting is playing with your hair. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s very common!
Most girls start to do this when they’re around someone they like or when they’re generally flirting. It’s normally an unconscious thing too.
5. She bites her lip a lot
Again, this is another clear sign of flirting. If your girlfriend is always biting her lip while around others, she’s either got a biting habit or she is flirting.
We do this naturally when we’re flirting because we’re drawing attention to our lips. A part of the body that is considered quite sensual and even sexual in some cases. [Read: 20 signs a girl is flirting with a guy even if she doesn’t make it obvious]
6. She regularly teases people with a hint of something more
There’s teasing in a joking, friendly way and there’s teasing in a flirtatious way.
If you’re noticing that there are undertones of slightly more when your girlfriend is talking to other people and teasing them, that could be one of the signs of a flirty girlfriend to be on the lookout for.
7. Her body language mirrors the other person’s
Check out your girlfriend’s body language when she’s talking to other people, particularly those she could arguably be attracted to. Does she mirror their body language?
For instance, if they’re standing and leaning slightly to one side, is she doing the same? This is a flirting sign that we do unconsciously. [Read: The most obvious signs of flirting between your girlfriend and another guy]
When your girlfriend flirts with other guys, does she hold their eye contact very easily? One of the main signs of a flirty girlfriend is that she will hold eye contact with the person she’s speaking to. If she accompanies this with a coy smile, that’s pretty solid evidence of flirting.
9. She often tilts her head toward the other person
Just like mirroring body language, when we’re flirting, we tend to tilt our heads slightly towards the other person.
It’s almost like you’re trying to let them know subliminally that you’re listening to them and only them. Does your girlfriend do this a lot? She’s either very attentive or she’s flirting.
10. She often laughs at jokes that aren’t funny
When you want to impress someone, you laugh at their jokes even when they’re far from funny. If you notice that your girlfriend does this and seems quite over the top about it, it’s a clear flirting sign. [Read: 20 signs she’s leading you on, using you and only pretending to love you]
How to deal with a flirty girlfriend without making the situation worse
Flirtiness doesn’t have to be a full stop in a relationship. There are many ways you can learn how to deal with a flirty girlfriend and hopefully look towards a brighter and more comfortable future in your relationship.
1. Understand that her nature is probably quite flirtatious
When your girlfriend flirts with other guys, it may be that she’s just naturally flirtatious. Some people are. They don’t even realize that the way they’re acting is perceived by others to be flirty. They probably just assume they’re being friendly. [Read: 10 reasons why your girlfriend enjoys flirting with other guys]
Some are more tactile than others, and if you want to keep your relationship ticking over, to some extent you must realize that you’re never going to change this part of her, nor should you really want to.
If you take away her tactile and flirtatious nature, you’re probably taking away a large portion of who she is at her very core.
However, you can make her more aware of how others may perceive it. Perhaps ask her to rein it in a little! [Read: How to tell if she is just playing mind games with you]
2. Examine whether it’s your jealousy that’s the problem
Part of learning how to deal with a flirty girlfriend also comes down to doing a little soul searching yourself. Is it your own jealousy that’s the problem? Is that the reason why you’re struggling?
Sure, if she’s overly flirty, you should have a conversation and ask her to stop. But why does it bother you so much if you’re secure in your relationship? Could it be that it’s making you jealous? Is it that you don’t like it when other people give her attention and she laps it up?
Do a little soul searching. Figure out why you feel the way you do about her flirting. [Read: Jealous boyfriend fix – how to stop being one and drop the jealous act]
3. Have a conversation about it
If it’s really bothering you, the next step in knowing what to do when your girlfriend flirts with other guys is to sit down and have a conversation about it.
Explain that it’s making you uncomfortable. While you love that she’s so open and tactile, it can make other people think the wrong thing.
Remember that she’s not likely to take to this conversation as easily as you want her to. She might feel you are attacking a certain side of her personality. In that way, be careful in the way you approach this conversation. [Read: Girlfriend texting another guy constantly? A guy’s guide to dealing with this]
4. Choose the right time to talk about it
If she’s studying for a big exam tomorrow, then don’t pick this very moment to talk to her about this. Be smart with the timing because it matters.
Also, you want to make sure when you talk to her about this; you’re clear of distractions. So, don’t bring this up when her friends are over or you’re at a birthday party.
5. Be direct but calm
You should be direct with how you feel and tell her what’s going on. But, that doesn’t mean you should get angry while doing so.
Try to be calm when you talk. If you’re direct about the issue, it’ll help you control your emotions. This is supposed to be a productive conversation, not a fight. [Read: How to calm down when you’re angry and regain your composure]
6. Make the conversation about you and not her
When you’re talking about it, try and use “I” phrases, rather than “you.” By doing this, you’re explaining how you feel and your side of things, rather than piling the blame on her.
Rather than saying “you flirt with everyone and it’s a problem,” say “I feel a little jealous or insecure.” You explain rather than push blame and possibly work towards a huge argument.
She’s more likely to listen to what you’re saying if you do this. Also, be sure to reassure her that you love her flirty nature. It’s just not ideal when it’s projected onto other people! [Read: Why you should tell the truth even when it hurts and why it matters]
7. Let her respond
Yes, you should say how her flirting makes you feel, but now it’s time for her to respond. Who knows, maybe she doesn’t see her behavior as flirtatious, or maybe she realizes it and understands it was inappropriate.
What matters is you give her the chance to reflect on her behavior.
Give her the time to say what she needs to say and don’t interrupt. Don’t pick on small things she says and cause an argument either. Let her speak and assess calmly how you feel about it.
8. Talk about your relationship
This may be a good opportunity to have a serious conversation about your relationship and see if there are areas you should work on together.
Are her needs being met? If not, what does she need from you, and how can you provide those needs to her? And the same goes for yourself: are your needs being fulfilled? [Read: 13 relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]
9. Be honest
No matter what comes from this conversation, it needs to be honest from the beginning. You two need to be honest with each other, even if it’s uncomfortable.
In the end, if she’s not that into you, it’s better you find out now. If it’s something fixable, then it’s also better you find out now. But that can only be done through honesty.
10. Focus on solutions
You sat down and had a serious talk about flirting, how it makes you feel, and the overall relationship. Now what? Well, it’s time for you to start working on a solution. Create goals together to improve your relationship and fulfill each other’s needs. [Read: How to manage your expectations in a relationship]
11. Try not to be paranoid
This is a hard one. However, it’s easy to allow your reaction to turn paranoid when you see your girlfriend flirting with other people.
Remember that she is with you. You’re in a relationship, and she’s not attempting to cheat in front of your eyes. Remind yourself of her flirty nature and that it’s nothing personal.
12. Understand your own limits
Sure, you should accept to a certain degree that your girlfriend is a flirty person and as a result, you can’t eradicate that completely.
Nevertheless, you’ll have your own lines in the sand too. That means the points that you’re happy to accept, to a degree, and the point that you reach your limit.
Know your limitations. Don’t feel like you should accept anything that goes over them. If something does, feel free to explain to your girlfriend that what you’ve just experienced doesn’t sit well with you and makes you feel uncomfortable. [Read: 28 signs of a bad girlfriend and how to stop one who’s bad for you]
13. Turn the flirt on each other
If your girlfriend is a flirty kind of kitten, why not turn the flirting up? Encourage her to flirt with you more. By doing that, you’ll have the light of attention shining on you. You’ll feel more confident and secure in your relationship.
You’ll also realize that in some situations, flirting really can just be a little bit of fun, something harmless, and not at all threatening to your relationship. [Read: Happy and naughty ways to keep your relationship fresh forever]
14. Understand that there has to be a line
There may come a point in the relationship that you just can’t take anymore. After a conversation, if she refuses to see what your problem is and if she perhaps does it even more just to be difficult *some people are like that*, then you do not have to put up with it.
If the flirting is something you really can’t deal with, if it causes you to feel insecure and upset in your relationship, it might be time to move on. [Read: 15 obvious signs of flirting between your girlfriend and another guy]
15. If you have the talk and nothing changes …
Then it’s time to reconsider the relationship.
If she’s continuing to flirt, and you’re not comfortable with it, then decide whether this is something you’re willing to put up with. She may not change her behavior, and that’s just who she is. So, then you’ll need to figure out if this is the partner you want beside you.
If your girlfriend cares about you, which we’re sure she does, she’ll understand your concerns.
Perhaps, she’ll think a little more carefully about how she may come over to other people in the future. Maybe she doesn’t know she’s being flirty. But, the person she’s being flirty with probably does.
[Read: How to handle a girlfriend who takes you for granted]
Learning how to deal with a flirty girlfriend who flirts with other guys is about examining whether or not you’re simply being extra jealous. If not, have a careful conversation with her. Just explain how you feel. Everything starts from there.