It’s difficult to part ways when your girlfriend doesn’t want to break up. Here’s why she acts this way, the signs that she doesn’t want to break up, and how to stick to your decision.
Breaking up is one of the hardest things to do. But when your girlfriend doesn’t want to break up with you, it becomes exponentially harder. A couple can split up for any number of reasons, but men are usually reluctant to do it. Most of the time they end up doing things that will push their girlfriend to break up with them. Sadly, that method never works the way you want it to.
In extreme circumstances, women can get pretty crazy and refuse to break up at all. The worst ones are those that use emotional blackmail, threaten to commit suicide, or promise to wreak hell on the lives of their exes if they ever so much as utter the words, “we need to talk.”
Why would your girlfriend refuse to break up with you?
It might sound silly that someone won’t “let” you break up with them, but it happens. However, keep in mind that she can’t really prevent you from doing it – you allow her to. But here are some reasons why your girlfriend would refuse to break up with you.
1. She’s in love with you
This is the most obvious reason why your girlfriend won’t let you break up with her. She loves you. And not only does she love you, but she’s also very attached to you. If you don’t feel like you love her, you might have to be brutal and tell her that.
2. She’s afraid to be alone
Many people “need” to be in a relationship because they don’t like being single. It’s scary for a lot of girls too. Some people are so fearful of being alone that they can’t break up with someone unless they have someone lined up to take their place, but she probably doesn’t have that. [Read: Fear of being alone – how to let go of your fear and find peace]
3. You are her rock
Maybe she is a very emotional person, and you are the one who calms her down and makes life easier for her. In other words, you are her rock. She might think she’ll fall apart emotionally if she doesn’t have you. She might not be able to navigate life very well on her own.
4. She doesn’t have many friends or family
Perhaps your girlfriend didn’t come from a close, loving family, or she doesn’t have a lot of friends. You could be the center of her world and one of her only friends. If that’s the case, she can’t imagine you not being in her life because you are her life.
5. She’ll miss you
If some or most of the above reasons are true, then she will definitely miss you. When she’s still in love, very emotional, and doesn’t have much of a life outside of you, then she will miss you like crazy. And she probably doesn’t know how to cope with those feelings. [Read: When does an ex start to miss you? The bittersweet truth revealed]
6. She’s worried about her image
Let’s face it – we live in a superficial world. Everyone is on social media trying to make themselves look good – probably better than their life is. So, if she suddenly goes from being in a relationship to being single, she might think it will make her look less desirable.
7. You have mutual friends
When a couple has a lot of mutual friends, breaking up is never easy. That’s because not only will you have to still see each other on a regular basis, but friends could start taking sides. She doesn’t want to make it uncomfortable for your friends, or for her.
8. You have been together a long time
If you have been together for years, she has a lot of time invested in you. And if you’re at the age where your peers are getting married and starting families, she might be very reluctant to try finding someone new. After all, women do have a biological clock, and hers might be ticking loudly. [Read: Stages of a long-term relationship breakup you have to experience]
Signs that she won’t break up with you
Women have many secret methods of manipulation, and some of these include ways how to prevent you from breaking up with them.
1. The guilt trip
Do you remember every little mistake you made in the relationship and everything your girlfriend did right? Well, she does, and she is going to use it as ammo to make you feel so bad that you won’t even get the chance to tell her you want to break up.
2. Emotional blackmail
Even though you were a perfect boyfriend, your girlfriend will use this opportunity to make you feel like the biggest asshole if you break up with her. Many guys are reluctant to break up with their girlfriends if they think it will cause emotional damage.
Every breakup causes people to experience that, but some girls will use it as an anchor to prevent their boyfriends from breaking up with them. [Read: 15 types of girlfriends who will make your life hell]
3. Regular blackmail
This one is from the crazy bunch. If she has anything at all that will cause any harm to your career or social standing, she will use it. It can be a sex video, a photo of you in a compromising position or just a simple promise that she will make your life a living hell.
4. Pleading
No man can refuse a woman with puppy-dog eyes and slow-flowing tears. Your girlfriend may resort to a form of emotional blackmail by making you accountable for not giving her what she wants.
By making herself as vulnerable as possible, a guy won’t be able to stomach breaking up with her if she wholeheartedly pleads for him not to. [Read: Why does love have to hurt so much?]
5. Bargaining
A girl can use any means necessary to keep her man. She will try and do anything to make you stay. This includes being willing to be in an open relationship, promising that she will change, trying to be someone else you like, or even offering things she never would in normal circumstances.
6. Ignorance
She will avoid talking about a breakup or even go so far as to treat it like a joke. This girl knows what she’s doing because a breakup cannot happen if two people don’t discuss it.
A guy can leave on his own, but some men would prefer to talk about it rather than just run away from the problem. If your girlfriend won’t allow you to voice your concerns, make her listen!
If you are in a situation where you don’t know how to cut all ties with your girlfriend, you need to step up and be the bigger person.
How to break up with your girlfriend
In theory, it’s as easy as pulling off a Band-Aid. But in reality, breaking up with a person is extremely difficult because you have to consider the consequences of your decision.
You have to determine whether it will be good for both of you or if you’re just having some doubts about your role in the relationship. Sometimes the problem lies in the person wanting to break up, but other times it can be the other person or both.
If you are aware that your relationship is experiencing problems, and there’s no other choice but to break up, you need to make your girlfriend listen to you. Don’t allow her to control your decisions. Make her see the benefits of what you’re about to do, and let her understand that it will be good for both of you.
1. Prepare yourself
The reason why guys can’t break up with their girlfriends immediately is that they are afraid to make the move. Most of the time, they want their girlfriends to do it instead.
If this is how you feel, tell yourself why you want to do it in the first place. Make a mature decision and follow through with it, no matter what. [Read: How to break up with someone you love]
2. Do it at home
Don’t do it in a public place. A lot of guys think this will keep their girlfriends calm, but sometimes it just makes them react more violently. Rather than protecting yourself from your girlfriend’s outburst, respect the solemnity of what you are about to do, and do it in private.
3. Tell her
Immediately. Don’t hum and haw. Try not to say, “we need to talk,” hours or days before you break up with her. Make it fast, but be gentle. Tell her your reasons. Don’t let her get a word in edgewise.
This is not her decision. It’s yours. Since she won’t break up with you, it’s up to you to take the reins and do what needs to be done.
4. If she tries to guilt you…
Don’t listen to her. No matter what you did in the past, you cannot pay for it by being her boyfriend. You need to apologize for whatever it is and let her deal with the breakup on her own.
If you continue to be in the relationship, you will only end up committing more transgressions that she can always hold over your head. [Read: Guilt-tripping in a relationship – what it is and how to respond to it]
5. If she starts crying…
Yes, it’s painful to break up. She will cry. You might even cry yourself. Let it all out, but don’t decide not to break up just to make her feel better. She’ll end up crying anyway if she continues to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love her.
6. If she blackmails you…
Consider the consequences of what she’s holding over your head. If it can destroy something very important to you like your job, your relationship with your loved ones, or your reputation, take a beat. Don’t let her know you still want to leave her.
Ask your friends about it or seek professional help from a lawyer or the police. Don’t let anyone take away your freedom to decide – especially if that someone is willing to harm you just to get their way. [Read: 21 ways to stop being manipulated and used by someone you love and trust]
7. If she starts bargaining…
Don’t agree if you think what she’s offering is unnecessary. If she promises to change, and it’s evident that she never will, you should not agree to continue the relationship. If she offers you sex, you should definitely refuse.
Before breaking up with your girlfriend, you have decided that nothing can be done to prevent it. If she’s offering you everything now that you’re about to leave, that just means that she hasn’t thought it through, and whatever she promises may fail to materialize.
8. If she starts begging…
Tell her that she shouldn’t beg for your affection. There’s no sense in agreeing to stay just because you pity her. That is not a good basis for a relationship. Just because she cried for you to stay, doesn’t mean that you should.
Help your girlfriend become better by not pandering to everything she wants just because she’s sad about it. [Read: How to break up with your girlfriend like a man and stop pussyfooting]
9. If she ignores you…
Make her listen by cornering her into a situation where she can’t talk her way out. Break up with her while you’re in the car. Do it while you’re in bed together. Just tell her what you want, and don’t let her push the conversation to a later date.
If she doesn’t want to discuss it, that’s her loss. You want to talk about it because you want to tell her your reasons. If she chooses to ignore it, she can get used to ignoring the fact that you’re not in her life anymore.
How to stick to your decision to break up with your girlfriend and not let her manipulate you
She will probably try every trick in the book to get you to change her mind. But stand your ground and don’t let her do it. Depending on how far she takes it, you might need to ignore her texts and calls. And if it gets really bad, you might have to block her. [Read: Duper’s delight – how to read the signs and avoid getting manipulated]
Remember, at the end of the day, this is your life. If you’re unhappy, love yourself enough to be firm and stick with your decision. Don’t cave in just to make her feel better. Think about your future and what you want. In other words, be a little selfish. It’s okay in this circumstance.
Final thoughts
The pain of a breakup is unimaginable in some circumstances. No matter how gradual or sudden it is, you have to accept that things may not go your way all the time. Each person has a different way of handling situations like these.
It can be very emotional and can leave a person devastated for a long time. Other times, it can be a wonderful release from a monotonous situation that wasn’t making anyone happy. [Read: Ways to quit moaning and stay busy after a breakup]
Parting ways is never easy, especially when your girlfriend doesn’t want to break up. If you must break up with her, make sure that you understand what you’re doing and that you are not out to hurt her. Using these tips, you can brace yourself for whatever it is she can throw at you – figuratively and literally.
