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How to Be a Sugar Daddy: What a Girl Expects & What You Should Know

Learning how to be a sugar daddy isn’t as simple as just deciding to be one. You need to know the rules, the basics, and what to expect from it. 

how to be a sugar daddy

The world is full of different versions of normal. What is normal anyway? As long as two *or more people* people are happy with their situation and nobody is being hurt, the law isn’t being broken, then where’s the harm in doing things a little differently? If you want to learn how to be a sugar daddy, you’re simply embarking upon a less conventional type of relationship, that’s all.

The so-called “regular relationships” don’t fit for everyone. Not everyone feels comfortable in a relationship that would be considered mainstream. Why force yourself into something that just doesn’t work for you?

But, that doesn’t mean you should enter into any arrangement without doing your research first. You need to know what you’re getting into. You need to know the reality behind it all. When you do that, you can be sure that you’re going for an option that’s right for you.

[Read: How to spot girls who are gold diggers so you know what to do]

Wait, what is a sugar daddy?

The typical explanation of a sugar daddy may not flatter many, but it’s really about how you interpret it. in popular culture, a sugar daddy is an older man who gives money and gifts to a much younger woman. In return, the woman keeps him company and, in many cases, sleeps with him too. Not always, but often.

Many women fall in love with their sugar daddy, but others don’t. It really depends upon the two people involved in the arrangement as to how far they’ll allow it to go.

A sugar daddy can be any type of guy. It can be a businessman who just doesn’t have the time to have a dedicated relationship. So instead, he has a sugar baby, the name given to the younger woman, to offer companionship and anything else that they decide to do together, consensually.

[Read: Being a sugar baby – The 13 sugar rules to follow to be the sugariest]

Things to know before learning how to be sugar daddy

Before we get into the technicalities of how to be a sugar daddy, you need to learn the basics.

1. Understand that this is an agreement

When you’re in a sugar relationship, it isn’t a committed relationship. We’re not saying feelings cannot develop, but generally, this is something that develops within the sugar relationship.

In the beginning, you and your sugar baby may go for coffee or dinner where you test the chemistry. Then, talk about an arrangement.

Understand from the beginning that you don’t own your sugar baby nor are they committed to you outside of the arrangement. [Read: 19 unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]

2. Know what you want

When making the arrangement, tell your potential sugar baby everything that you want from the relationship. Do you want it to be a sexual relationship?

If so, how far would you like it to go? This needs to be extremely clear when you’re talking to your sugar baby. They need to clearly state what they’re willing and unwilling to do. You can decide if you want to proceed or not. [Read: Dating a younger woman? 10 things an older man should know]

3. What are you going to offer?

You also need to know what you’re going to offer your potential sugar baby. What are you able to provide them? It can be cash, shoes, clothing, trips.

Be clear with yourself on what you can provide and then clear with the sugar baby on what you’re able to offer. Don’t present yourself as something you’re not.

Make sure your offerings fit in your budget – you don’t want to promise her a monthly trip on a fancy yacht, if you can’t afford it. It’ll just leave both of you with a bitter experience.

4. Always be honest

If you lie, you’re going to get yourself into a boatload of trouble. If you want to know how to be a sugar daddy and do it right, you need to be 100% honest when negotiating with your sugar baby.

This is a relationship based on fulfilling each other’s needs, so, you have to be completely open and honest with what you’re able to provide and what you’re wanting to receive.

5. Take it slowly

When you’re a first-time sugar daddy, it can be really exciting, and you probably want to jump into bed right away. Don’t do it.

If you want to be a successful sugar daddy, you need your sugar baby to become comfortable around you. You don’t know who they are on a first date and vice versa, so, take your time and go on a couple of dates before making a move. [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction you need to keep an eye on]

6. Keep the boundaries

Remember when we spoke about being honest and expressing your needs when making the arrangement? Good, you were paying attention. The arrangement you made, that boundary needs to be firmly in place.

It’s best if you have in writing the expectations of the relationship, that way, you both know where the boundaries are. If both of you want to change the boundaries, then you both need to agree on it. [Read: Understand boundaries in dating and how far is too far]

7. Put in an effort

When you’re on a date with your sugar baby, you need to put in effort. Naturally, there needs to be an emotional and physical connection between you and your sugar baby which means you get to know them on a personal level.

If you want to have a fulfilling relationship, you need to work on making the other person happy and vice versa. So, why not have her actually like you? The same goes for the other way around as well.

8. Be respectful

You need to be respectful with your sugar baby. Some people feel that they’re buying time, and thus, can treat their sugar baby however they want, but it doesn’t work like that.

Yes, a sugar relationship isn’t necessarily a traditional relationship, and she’s probably in it for the money, but that’s not the point. This isn’t just a business transaction, this is a relationship with another human being. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]

9. It’s not all about the money

You may feel like you need to “get your money’s worth,” but that’s not how you should view the relationship. At the end of the day, it’s a relationship. Of course, you have money and the sugar baby has the sexy goods, but it shouldn’t feel like a transaction.

This relationship is about fulfilling each other’s needs; don’t think of it as much different from buying your girlfriend lingerie once a month.

10. Be patient

Finding the right sugar baby for you isn’t going to be as easy as you think. You want someone that you connect with, so, this may take a couple of dates with a couple of different sugar babies.

What you need to do is be patient. The right sugar baby will come! One that likes the arrangement and feels a connection with you. [Read: How to forge an emotional connection by being more empathetic]

11. Remember, you don’t own them

It’s really important to emphasize this – just because you have a sugar relationship doesn’t mean you own your sugar baby. They can cut the arrangement any time they like, or you can cut it as well. You are your own person and so is your sugar baby. So, if you want your name to have a good rep, then remember this the next time you go on a date.

The specifics of how to be a sugar daddy

So, now you know the general guidelines of being a sugar daddy and what it’s all about, let’s delve into some of the specifics you probably want to learn about. You want to know how to be a sugar daddy, so let’s talk about the important subjects. [Read: Your inside guide to what having a sugar mommy really means]

1. How old is a typical sugar daddy?

There is no actual age range, but the majority of sugar daddies are anywhere between 45 to 60. Obviously, they will have sugar babies who are much younger, typically in their mid-20s. However, these are just averages and you will find sugar relationships that vary in age. The only accepted idea is that the guy is quite a bit older than the woman.

Of course, you can also find sugar relationships that aren’t between men and women – some are two men, two women, there are no gender rules or definitions to sugar relationships. Just whatever feels right and what both agree to.

2. How rich does a sugar daddy need to be?

There are no numbers to offer here. You simply need to put forth what you’re willing to offer and make sure that you can commit to it and afford it.

If your sugar baby agrees and it’s affordable for you, that’s all you need to know. It also depends on how often you’re going to see your sugar baby and how you’re going to pay them, e.g. a monthly retainer or for individual visits. [Read: When does age difference in relationships matter?]

3. How do sugar daddies normally pay their sugar babies?

Again, this comes down to what you want and what your sugar baby is happy with. You need to agree together on the terms.

You can either pay monthly, e.g. a retainer, or you can pay for every time you see them. Whichever option you’re agreeing to, make sure you stick to the terms and that you have it written down in some kind of contract.

4. How can you find a sugar baby?

Most prospective sugar daddies head online to find their sugar baby. There are dedicated sites that work to pair up sugar relationship partners and it could be that you need to meet up with several, online and in person, before you find the right one.

It could be that you know someone with who you would like to propose a sugar relationship. That could be a difficult conversation to have if you’re not sure if they’d be agreeable to it.

The only advice, in that case, is to be honest. Talk about what you’re looking for and ask openly whether they’d be interested. Explain that you won’t be offended or upset if they aren’t interested because they need to be 100% onboard if you’re going to move ahead.

Because of the difficulty in finding a serious sugar baby in regular life, many sugar daddies do tend to stick to websites that are dedicated to these types of relationships. [Read: Dating someone younger than you – 12 ways to make it easier]

Is the sugar daddy lifestyle for you?

Now you know how to be a sugar daddy, how do you feel about it? Is it something you’d like to move forward with and try for yourself? Before you even attempt anything, make sure that you know for sure what you want and what you’re willing to offer. You need to be completely honest with yourself and not make promises that you know you can’t keep. 

Your sugar relationship needs to begin on the right footing and that means open and honest communication. Once you find someone who you feel fits well as your sugar baby, you may just find that this is an arrangement that benefits the both of you and brings great happiness. 

[Read: 16 things that make a girl a good sugar baby]

Now that you know how to be a sugar daddy, what are you thinking? Going to try your hand at it? Or let someone else test it out?

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...