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How to Be a Better Husband: 20 Ways to a Happy Wife, Happy Life

You know how the saying goes – happy wife, happy life. So learning how to be a better husband is the best thing you can do to achieve a happy marriage.

how to be a better husband

Women are temperamental, emotional, and sometimes downright nasty creatures. However, once you are in love, they provide you with a fullness that you hadn’t even known existed. If you can’t seem to get into her good graces lately, take heart. That can leave many men wondering how to be a better husband.

You might think that being a good husband is a piece of cake. All you need is to give her tender loving care, right? But marriage isn’t the same as when you were dating. If you want to make your wife consistently loved and supported, that’s what this feature is for. It’s easy to go at each other’s throats when you’re married.

A little bit of stress, a lot of becoming accustomed to one another, and even more responsibilities on your plate, it is probably not uncommon to come home to “the look.” You know the look; sometimes, you can actually feel it when you walk in the front door. [Read: Best husband ever: 10 things the best guys always do in a marriage]

What’s the secret to being a better husband?

If you want to be a great husband to your wife, you need to know how to love her the best way you can. Especially in arguments, that’s when you love her the most. You vowed to her on the day of your marriage – for better and for worst.

So if you want to learn how to be a better husband, it’s all a matter of choosing her every day until your last breath. Even if you’re fighting, arguing, and at each other’s throats, choose her and love her harder anyway. Communicate what you feel and do your best to support every ounce of hr needs.

Whether it be her emotional, physical, or mental needs, support her the best way you can. In order for a marriage to work, you need to constantly put in the effort and time to make it work.

Just because you’re married, that’s not an excuse to be complacent in the marriage. So if you’re asking the secret to be a better husband, it’s all a matter of consistency and effort. [Read: Husband material: What makes a guy a good life partner?]

How to be a better husband

If you want to know how to be a better husband, it’s not that difficult. Pretty predictable creatures, what women want isn’t a diamond ring, a fairytale romance, or a guy who has millions in the bank *well at least not all of us*.

What most of us want is to have unconditional love, someone to rely on, and someone we feel appreciates us even when the horns and crazy eyes come out. Here are 15 tips for how to be a better husband. [Read: First year of marriage – Surprising truths no one talks about]

1. Kiss her every morning

A small and simple gesture, if you get into the habit of kissing her in the morning and before you go to bed, it will mean the world to her. So if you want to learn how to be a better husband, kiss her every morning. It sets the right intention for her day and puts her in a great mood, even as she just woke up.

It’s the kind of kiss that says – good morning, and I love you. So ALWAYS kiss your wife when you wake up! Whatever she might be harboring inside will instantly melt when she feels your lips touch hers. A kiss will make her heart soar and tell her that there isn’t a person alive that you would rather wake up or lay down next to. [Read: When to kiss a Girl: 20 subtle signs to predict the magic moment]

2. Have heavy shoulders

There are going to be times when she lashes out at you for absolutely no reason at all. If you overreact and meet her with similar behavior, it will probably end in a mountain that could have just been a molehill. If she is having a bad day and taking it out on you, just ask her what the real problem is.

And likely, she will come to her senses and see you not as the bad guy but as the confidant. Don’t try to level her frustrations and anger, but be the bigger person and talk to her. Communicate with her and most likely, she’ll open up to you. [Read: 14 sweet ways to make your girl feel special and loved]

3. Be protective

For evolutionary reasons, men are the hunters, and women are the gatherers and homemakers. A woman needs to feel like she is being protected. That isn’t just about having the bat by your side if someone breaks in, in the middle of the night.

Your wife will absolutely love it when you suddenly become protective of her, which includes even emotional pain. One essential aspect for learning how to be a better husband is to banter with your friends at times about how she can be a bitch, but always respect and protect her above all else. What’s more romantic than that? [Read: Key differences: protective boyfriend or a controlling boyfriend?]

4. Take something off her plate

Whether she works outside the house or not, the majority of the household chores are probably her responsibility. The reason she might be in a bad mood is that she is way overworked and stressed out. You’re her husband, so you need to make her feel like there’s a partnership in your marriage.

Sometimes, your wife is acting unusual all because she feels all the weight of responsibilities is on her shoulders. So be her partner and lighten her load.

For all you know, this is all she was waiting for. Something as small as vacuuming can be the best foreplay there ever was. Speaking of foreplay… [Read: The 25 sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life]

5. Tend to her sexual needs

It is easy to get into the habit of the big bang, especially when you have tight schedules or the potential for a baby to walk through the door at any minute. If you want to know how to be a better husband, you have to tend to her sexual desires and sometimes do things just for her.

No matter how busy you are, always take the time to get a little seductive and sexual with your wife. Trust us, this will make your wife happy, as it’s also a way of connecting with her and making her feel loved.

Sex in a marriage is just as important as when you were dating, so don’t lose the flame! Spend a little more time exploring her zones, and you will see a change in her immediately. [Read: How to please a woman – Sexually and emotionally]

6. Remember the important things

To guys, an anniversary or a birthday may just be another day. But, to a woman, those dates are important things. Women like to be fussed over once in a while. When you don’t acknowledge a special day, that gives her the impression that you don’t care enough to remember.

So expect war when you forget her birthday and especially your wedding anniversary! Even if you’re not a sentimental person, you must remember the essential occasions since they matter to your wife.

If you can remember the stats of all your favorite baseball team members but don’t remember the day you said “I do,” that says to her that you don’t care all that much. [Read: 8 relationship dates men should never ever forget]

7. Say thank you

These two words can have a massive effect on your marriage, and you might be ignorant of this. Sure, she does the laundry every day and picks your socks up off the floor. But, news flash, she doesn’t enjoy it, and it isn’t mandatory for her.

When you do chores around the house for long enough, it just becomes something that people expect from you, and you are no longer appreciated. When you go out of your way to say these two words or even show your gratitude through other means, it makes your wife’s heart happy.

Now, isn’t that the goal? So tell her thank you for always being there to take care of your needs, even if it’s sometimes inconvenient for her. [Read: How to be grateful: 20 authentic ways to appreciate and express it]

8. Tell her you love her

This is the simplest yet loudest way for how to be a better husband. No matter how many times you’ve said this throughout your marriage, your wife will never get tired of hearing this from you. Don’t just assume she knows, but actually show or tell her! Men aren’t always the most verbal creatures.

Everyone speaks a different language of love. For some, doing things shows love. For others, buying gifts shows love. So make sure to let her know that your heart beats for her, whatever your love language might be. [Read: How to tell a girl you love her without losing her]

9. Send or leave her notes

There is nothing that will brighten someone’s day more than to get little love messages from her husband. Chivalry is definitely not dead, so write her simple notes and send them her way. You want to know how to be a better husband?

The key is to let her know that you are thinking of her throughout the day and that she is forever on your mind. If you see something that reminds you of her, take a picture and send it with a caption. She’ll love this coming from her husband! [Read: 15 cute things to text your woman when you miss her]

10. Take her out frequently

Date nights are so important. There’s no other love language that’s just as fragile yet significant as quality time. When you become a couple, a lot of things change. It suddenly becomes much more comfortable and inexpensive to sit on the couch and watch a movie.

Every woman wants to be wined and dined whether she is married or not. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, but make sure you take her out and spend time with her. Getting dressed up and feeling like you are dating again can rekindle any relationship and is a great thing to do if you want to know how to be a better husband.

11. Surprise her

Spontaneity is not easy to come by when you have a full life, a full-time job, and children. Really, nobody talks about how difficult and rare the opportunity of spontaneity comes in marriage. But this is precisely why you should catch her off guard by surprising her.

Pick the right moment and surprise your wife – and that’s how to be a better husband. If you notice that your wife is getting a little burnt out, surprise her with flowers or a nice gift just to make her smile. If you want to get extra points, plan a vacation away for just the two of you. [Read: 12 real reasons why couples drift apart over time]

12. Listen

Sometimes women feel like all they do is talk, and nothing ever gets absorbed. Show her that you are listening by engaging in the conversation… by talking. We know precisely the opposite of what you would think.

But, talking when she is talking shows her that you are attentive and listening, not staring blankly from la-la land. Being a great listener also means being a great communicator. It’s an assurance for her that you’re actually invested in the conversation and most importantly, listening. [Read: How to communicate with your spouse & end the roller coaster ride]

13. Care about her day too

Women are very empathetic creatures. Quite likely, she asks how your day was when you walk in the door. How often do you ask how her day went? Most guys omit the question, thinking they are going to get a barrage list of bad things.

If you want to know how to be a better husband, doing something as simple as asking about her day will put such a smile on her face. When you don’t ask, it feels like you don’t care about her world.

After all, marriage basically consists of asking your partner how their day went literally for the rest of your lives. [Read: Marriage advice – 11 tips for happily every after]

14. Relish in her accomplishments

Sometimes it’s hard for a man to watch his wife be more successful in her career or to find success when they aren’t finding the same. The key to knowing how to be a better husband is to relish in her accomplishments and let her know how very proud you are of her hard work.

Her success has to be your success as well. Don’t feel threatened by her success or feel the need to compete with her. Instead, support her by celebrating her accomplishments with her. It’ll mean the world to her!

15. Talk nicely about her to others

Nothing makes a woman feel better than hearing you talking kindly about her. Sometimes, it’s uncomfortable to tell someone how you feel. That’s why taking the opportunity to tell someone else when she is within earshot is an excellent way to make her feel good and tell her how you feel indirectly.

Speak positively about her when she’s around and boast her off. In other words, make her feel how lucky you are that she’s your wife! That’s how to be a great husband. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship & wow your lover]

16. Schedule a weekly date

Life becomes busy, and we tend to forget about spending quality time with our partners after a few years. However, no matter how hectic your life becomes, you must always make time for it. If you don’t, your relationship will fade away over time. [Read: The 30 sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life]

Plan up a weekly schedule and make sure you follow through with it if you want to learn how to be a better husband. Plan a date that both you and your wife will like, and make sure there is time for you to catch up on each other’s lives. It might be as easy as spending three hours in the park on a Saturday or having supper at your favorite restaurant.

17. Work on yourself

Your lover wants to know that you are capable of looking for yourself. Your wife has no desire to act as your nanny. You can’t be beautiful if you’re lazy and don’t have a strong desire to learn from your mistakes and improve.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, people who don’t develop and change are frequently stuck in the same situations and conflicts, causing unnecessary stress for themselves and their loved ones.

With that in mind, here we go. Analyze the moments that cause you to have a strong emotional response. Begin by doing some soul-searching to discover what annoys you and why then utilize that insight as a beginning point for self-improvement. [Read: How to improve yourself: 16 powerful secrets of self-improvement]

18. Throw money out the window

Be mindful not to burden your partner with your money troubles by being too forthcoming. Imagine if the President appeared on television and said that the government had run out of money. Even if civil chaos breaks out, all services will be halted. Just think of the chaos that would ensue!

At home, the same holds true. A man is expected to be a rock of stability for his wife. Complaining about money or exaggerating your financial woes will do nothing to improve your relationship with your partner.

Instead of criticizing your partner, focus on improving your own spending habits. It’s essential to create a solution that works for both of the parties so that both of you are satisfied. [Read: How to talk about money with your partner without fighting about it]

19. Pick five things about your wife that you’re grateful for

When you initially met your partner, you may have looked at each other through rose-colored glasses. The things that bother or frustrate us might be overlooked when we’re fascinated with someone.

With age, stresses such as the pressures of job, family, money, and health take their toll, and we as humans and couples become more sensitive to the traits in our partners that irritate us. As a result, see your perspective as a cup. Take a deep breath and let go of the negativity.

Counting your blessings each day by writing down five things you’re thankful for about your wife is the best way to learn how to be a better husband. Do some mental effort and contemplation if they aren’t coming to mind right away. ‘ Nothing escapes our attention, no matter how minute the detail may be.

Take a few minutes each day to meditate on how you feel about your partner. Better still, express your thanks to them directly and make them feel appreciated by doing so. [Read: How to be grateful: 20 authentic ways to appreciate and express it]

20. Throw your partner a party for two – show them that they’re number one

Moving forward in life is the most important thing you can do to grow as a husband. When it comes to their wives, most men care about them as much as they do about their careers or interests. If you want your relationship to flourish, you need to make your partner your number one priority.

Better husbands are happier because they enter into the male role of providing and caring for their wives. There are several benefits to having a long-term best friend, supporter, and number one fan in your life.

Don’t put off implementing these tips until tomorrow; get started right now with the most straightforward action you can do. In the long run, the little things you do will have a significant impact on your life and marriage.

[Read: Marriage advice: 11 tips for a happily ever after]

So, how to be a better husband?

It is not always easy to make the woman in your life happy. In fact, at times it can feel like you are the bane of her existence. When you become a couple, that makes you her number one confidant, her heavy shoulder, and the person she is going to take her unhappiness out on. [Read: 15 subtle things that change when you get married]

The keys to knowing how to be a better husband are showing her empathy, hugging her, smiling at her, and appreciating her. Choose her every day and make a consistent decision to love her, even when it’s not always easy. At the end of the day, your wife is and should be your person. 

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Julie Keating
A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined in...
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