Moving in together is a massive, important step in a relationship. Before your girlfriend moves in, however, these 12 things need to take a hike.
So, you take her out to a nice dinner and you’re feeling as nervous as ever. You think, “This is it.” You reach out across the table and hold her hand open. She looks up expectantly, and you say those four words: “Move in with me?”
Like engagement and marriage, moving in together is a big decision in your relationship—probably one of the biggest milestones, next to marriage. This is when you let the other person, your girlfriend, consensually invade your privacy and see you as you go along your mundane daily routines.
Aside from seeing each other on a daily basis and spending almost every waking moment together, moving in together can be the perfect and most economical solution for you and your girlfriend. However, before you pop that question, you should first ask yourself if your place is move-in ready? What if your girlfriend sees that body butter from your ex? Or that lamp given to you by the last girl you dated? Do you still have those stacks of vintage porn magazines lying around? [Read: The complete guide to asking your partner to move in with you]
12 things that need to hit the bricks before your girlfriend moves in
Before you let your girlfriend set foot into your lair, make sure she doesn’t see anything that may cause the two of you to fight and ruin such a momentous occasion. Below are 12 things you have to get rid of when your girlfriend moves in.
#1 Magazine collections. You know those magazines lying around at the bottom of your bed and by your nightstand? They are all porn mags, anyway, right? They’re just gathering dust, as all the porn you need is hidden in your computer. So, better throw those out. Who needs them, anyway, when you have your girlfriend and her hot cosplay costumes?
#2 DVDs or CDs. Perhaps you still have that Sex and the City DVD collection that your ex left behind. Then, all your DVDs and outdated CDs are occupying that large shelf that your girlfriend plans on filling with your pictures together and her classical literature books. Who needs those discs, anyway, when you have Netflix, and all your music is either on your phone or on your iPod? Whether or not your girlfriend is moving in, you should get rid of things that take up space and collect dust. [Read: 14 tips to make living together before marriage work]
#3 Your toys. Your girlfriend may find it cute that you have a Mr. Potato Head collection. But when she moves in, she doesn’t want to have dozens of Mr. Potato eyes looking down on her as you are going down on her. Get rid of those childhood toys or put them in storage. If you have expensive collectibles, find a different place for them—as long as it’s far away from your girlfriend’s eyes!
#4 Single-guy shirts. You know those shirts. The ones with a silhouette of a stripper, that one with a vajazzle-like decoration, that homage to Hugh Hefner that you found witty, and that one with Cheech and Chong, which was your favorite in college. Get rid of them all. Your girlfriend wouldn’t be caught dead sitting next to you wearing those shirts—especially that one saying, “I’m with stupid.” A big NO. [Read: 13 annoying boyfriend traits and easy ways to avoid being one]
#5 That sofa. Heaven knows what kinds of *read: disgusting* things have happened on that sofa of yours. She will wrack her brains wondering the same thing. If you decide to keep it, you wouldn’t want to see her avoid that couch like it’s the plague, right? Besides, there are probably remnants of your exes and your one-night-stands on there. That couch has got to go!
#6 Your unending collection of sports memorabilia. Your house is not a museum for the Yankees. And you have to get rid of that altar you’ve made to Tom Brady and LeBron James. That space could be better used as your girlfriend’s armoire, with all of her makeup and her photos—especially that artsy semi-nude photo of hers. So you choose: LeBron’s sweaty arms or your girlfriend’s ta-tas? Thought so.
#7 Bachelor paintings and band/concert/movie posters. If you are one of those more “cultured” guys, you probably have that one painting that all your guy friends like to gawk at whenever they come over to your house. Whether it’s an x-rated pop art rendition of Marilyn Monroe or a concert poster of Marilyn Manson, your girlfriend is not going to like it.
#8 Your sports equipment. You know those dumbbells you haven’t touched for four years and that you only notice when you trip over them? Let’s face it—the only exercise you’ve had for the past several years is jumping up and down on Super Bowl Sunday. So why clog up the house with useless equipment—equipment that your girlfriend is liable to chuck at you once she discovers you’ve kept something you shouldn’t have? Better to part with it now. [Read: 6 common problems faced by couples who live together]
#9 Your bedding. What’s more disgusting than your sofa? Your bed. You sleep there, often caked in sweat right after work or a night out with the boys. It’s probably stained with everything from lube to cum to who-knows-what. If you refuse to throw out your bed sheets, pillowcases, or even your whole mattress, then she’s going to want to take out her ultraviolet stick and survey every inch of your bed, so that even you will feel dirty.
#10 Old sex toys and lube. You don’t want your girlfriend to not only move out of your place, but out of your life too, do you? Then get rid of your old or used sex toys, half empty bottles of lube, and other paraphernalia that might make your girlfriend stark, raving mad. Not only does she not want to see them, but she would absolutely hate thinking about where those things came from and who you used them with. You won’t get to use them with her, anyway, so be considerate and throw them out.
#11 Boxes of expired condoms. You may have stocked up like there’s no tomorrow, doomsday prepping your sex life with boxes and boxes of condoms. But now, you’re not much of a hot stud, bunny-hopping your way through women like you thought you would. So you’re left with a lot of expired condoms. Now, if you want to get your girlfriend pregnant due to an expired, broken condom, that’s fine. Otherwise, don’t be a cheapskate. Throw those out and buy new ones! [Read: The 8 big cons of moving in no one wants to talk about]
#12 Tampons and other feminine stuff. Whether it happened intentionally on the part of your last girlfriend or was an easy mistake, things are bound to get left behind after an ex moves out. Avoid putting more emotional stress on your girlfriend and get rid of all the toiletries, makeup, feminine hygiene products, clothes, and underwear from your ex—or even that girl *what’s-her-name* you took home for a drunken one-night-stand. Get rid of all the memories that might remind your current girlfriend that you actually had a life *and a love life* before she came into the picture.
Moving in together is a pivotal moment in your relationship. It represents growth, as it takes your relationship to the next level of intimacy. Both of you have to adjust to each other’s routines and quirks. And although your home is your sanctuary and you should feel comfortable living there, your girlfriend will appreciate it if you are considerate enough to sacrifice some of your bachelor items for her. You may have some things you would like her to get rid of, too, so it’s a fair trade.
[Read: 10 signs it’s a very good idea for you to move in with your partner]
Just remember to work as a team, be honest with each other, and learn to compromise. These are the keys to building a successful relationship within a shared home.
