You’ve probably heard of the alpha male and beta male personality traits. But there is another type that is equally as interesting – the sigma male.
We all know the alpha male, right? But what is the sigma male? The sigma male is an introvert who isn’t introverted as much as just about himself. Not worried about his placement in the pack, he’s cool all on his own.
As a society, we like to label and categorize everything, including our women and men. The odds are you haven’t heard of sigma male traits before, yet you’ve heard of alpha and beta males. Now, there are some characteristics we make quick judgments on.
For example, the alpha male is stereotyped as an extroverted and arrogant person, while the beta males are considered shy and introverted.
Of course, since these are stereotypes, you know those generalizations aren’t necessarily true. Meeting one alpha male who’s arrogant and loud, doesn’t mean they’re all like that.
What is a sigma male?
The sigma male is hard to pin down specifically because you never really get to know him. That brooding and mysterious nature of his is never revealed because it is exactly what defines him.
What goes on in the sigma male’s head is for his head only. [Read: The omega personality – 25 traits that split them from the herd]
Differences between an alpha and sigma male
While there are some similarities between the alpha and sigma males, there are differences too. Let’s take a look at some of them.
1. Personality
The alpha male is extroverted and social, whereas a sigma male is an introvert and not very social.
The alpha male doesn’t mind being the center of attention and interacting with lots of people at social gatherings.
Whereas the sigma male shies away from attention and doesn’t particularly like crowds or big gatherings where they have to talk to people. [Read: Introvert vs. extrovert – why it’s fluid and what splits them apart]
2. Leadership skills
The alpha male is also a natural leader. People instinctively follow alpha males because they are bold and aggressive. However, sigma males are not leaders. In fact, they don’t want anyone to follow them.
3. Social hierarchy
Alpha males are at the top of the social hierarchy. People like them and want to be around them. They are the kind of males a lot of people look up to.
However, the sigma male wants to stay completely out of the social hierarchy altogether. They have no interest in where they stand and want to be their own person.
4. Society
Any culture and society have expectations of the people who live within it. There are rules to follow and things that should be conformed to. [Read: The 4 different types of introverts and how to recognize each of them]
The alpha male follows these societal rules. They want people to accept them, so they do the “right thing” as society dictates. However, sigma males don’t conform to societal expectations. In fact, they try to go against them if they can.
The characteristics of the sigma male
So, if we aren’t ever to really know a sigma male then how do we know what one is? There are some telltale signs that a guy isn’t just being shy or playing hard to get. He is truly hard to get because he doesn’t want to be gotten.
He doesn’t try to have anyone follow him, quite the opposite. He wants people to back off. These are the things that almost all sigma males have in common, but it doesn’t define them, nothing ever will. [Read: How to be a man the way he really should be]
In other words, the sigma male is the guy who does his own thing without trying to stand out among the rest. This also means sigma males aren’t easy to identify. Alpha and beta males fall on each side of the spectrum, whereas sigma males float in between them.
So, who are these mystery men with sigma male traits?
1. They don’t want to be top dog
They don’t really even want to be part of the pack. [Read: Weak men and strong men – 13 opposing traits that split them apart]
They aren’t like the other guys in a group vying to be top dogs. They really don’t want to be. In fact, the very thought someone wants to follow them makes them uncomfortable.
And the mere mention that they would follow someone else, just ain’t happening.
2. They rebel against what they are supposed to do and be
Just because they can. [Read: Why do girls like bad boys? Why it feels oh-so-good to date one]
Conformity is their kryptonite. They are a rebel for no other reason than they can be, so why not? A true hater of anything popular or “in,” they make sure to be themselves, which sometimes comes across to other guys as quirky. To girls, it is very sexy.
3. They don’t feel the need to prove anything to anyone but themselves
But they’re just as powerful as the alpha.
Sigmas aren’t followers, and they could be leaders if that is the road they chose, but it isn’t. The sigma male is a powerful personality and isn’t altered by anyone, or what they think of them. [Read: 30 alpha male characteristics that make any man a real alpha]
They are just fine doing their own thing and couldn’t care less who is in charge.
4. Sigmas live their life in silence
But it is golden silence. Sigma males have a very limited amount of things to say. If they do say something, you best listen up, because it probably means something.
A man of very, very few words, silence is their stance. They aren’t going to call attention to themselves by voicing any opinion about anything. It isn’t anyone else’s business. [Read: 18 Secrets to get a man to open up, communicate, and understand you]
5. They are the James Dean without a cause
Literally. They are the hot guy that comes to town to buck the system and take all the hot girls. But, it isn’t their fault. They don’t even want them to think they are amazing.
A rebel is very attractive to girls who look for a bad boy. But the bad boy is just because they aren’t going to be told what to do, not because they are “bad.”
6. They are highly attractive to women
But they don’t really care or notice. Yep, the shy, silent type, women find them mysterious and absolutely have to figure out what is going on in that head of theirs. [Read: Do girls love shy and brooding guys who don’t make the first move?]
But the thing is that they aren’t ever going to let them in. What is attractive on the outside isn’t so much fun when they never give in or let their mysteriousness fade or their silence turn into idle chatter.
7. People consider them intellectual and intelligent
They are the definition of both book and street smart, but they play it off like they are all street. They know just about everything about everything.
When they talk, people listen, because they never do, and when they do, it is typically worthwhile and valuable.
8. They loathe social norms and expectations
They aren’t the beta who sets themselves apart by being outside the group.
They aren’t the alpha because they don’t want anyone to follow them and what they really hate most is when someone puts expectations on who or what they are “supposed” to be. [Read: Dating expectations – Type A vs. Type B personalities]
They do what they want, when they want and couldn’t care less about what people think about it. Norms are boring and controlling, and that isn’t what they are all about.
9. They are usually on the dark side of the morally gray areas
They have a tendency to get into trouble regardless of if they try or don’t try.
Because they don’t think the rules apply to them, they do things that they aren’t supposed to and are sometimes illegal because they think they are above the law. [Read: How to be a badass in 25 awesomely bad ways]
10. They have a disdain for rules
This is because they believe that rules are meant to keep them down and powerless.
Rules have no purpose but to hold them down and make them conform. They believe people should have the freedom to make their own choices regardless of what society or the law says. That doesn’t go so well with being a part of the group or community.
11. They like to blend in, not stand out
They aren’t aiming to stand out or be a loner, that is just what they are because of their personality style.
They blend into the background and disappear, but because they are highly attractive due to their mysterious nature, blending just isn’t that easy. [Read: The awesome omega male and why he’s so much better than the alpha
12. No slave to fashion, they abhor it
They aren’t taken by trends. They think trends are senseless and wearing them makes them a sell-out. They would rather wear an old t-shirt and jeans than be a slave to some button-down shirt or some stupid suit and tie. ]
13. They have out-of-the-norm interests
And sometimes they even exhibit eccentric behaviors. Not like most people, they have unusual interests and tastes, which sometimes come across as weird and can negate them from blending into the group. Academically, they like things that aren’t that interesting to others.
14. They don’t belong to a social group
Instead, they drift in and out of them but never belong to any. They go from greaser to nerd to totally cool, but they always stand on the outskirts looking in.
Regardless of how comfortable they become with a group, they aren’t ever going to belong. [Read: Asocial vs. antisocial – the similarities end with the name]
That is why they are so mysterious because they can’t be defined by the people they hang out with because they come and go too quickly.
15. They are an instigator
They like to start trouble. Whether it is making fun of someone to get them going or pitting one person against another, they like to make trouble where they can. The more conflict, the better. Once they start it, they back out and sit and watch the shit show.
16. Their refusal to conform subjects them to criticism and ridicule
Because they can’t be bothered by trying to be liked, they open themselves up to being made fun of. Groups of guys don’t like when they don’t want to join and adore them. If they can’t join them, they have no problem beating them up emotionally.
17. They adapt only to get what they want
And then they are done with it. The only time they are okay with conformity is when they get something out of it. It isn’t conforming if they pretend, just to use someone, at least that is their thought process. [Read: All the subtle differences between a confident and arrogant man]
18. They know what they want
Sigma men have a very strong idea of who they are and what they want in life. They have strong relationships around them and are independent in thought and action. They know what they want, and they don’t need to have their hands held while reaching their goals.
19. They’re not “the nice guys”
When you go through the sigma male traits, you may start to think they’re the nice guys, the ones who play by the rules. But that’s far from reality.
A sigma male is somewhat of a bad boy in the sense that if they don’t feel that something is wrong, they’ll do it whether the law says the opposite or not. [Read: Why good girls like bad boys – the truth uncovered]
20. They enjoy living in the present
Everyone knows life is short, but not everyone uses their time on this earth to live in the moment. For a sigma male, he does his best to enjoy the present, and when it comes to the past, he neither wants to discuss it nor relive it. The past is in the past for the sigma male.
21. They do their own thing
When everyone is going right, they go left. A sigma male enjoys living his life to the best of his own drum.
They don’t need to call a friend when going out somewhere or need approval from their mom about what they want to wear. They do their own thing. [Read: Why the “nice guy” isn’t really such a nice guy]
22. They get attention without trying
The thing about sigma males is that they’re not trying to gain the crowd’s attention by acting loudly or doing something crazy.
They’re not attention seekers. And this is actually alluring for women and ends up naturally attracting attention to them.
23. They share many alpha male qualities
Here’s the thing, the sigma male isn’t that far off from the alpha male. So many characteristics shown in alpha males are also seen in sigma males. So, how do you tell the difference? That’s a tough question. [Read: How to be an alpha male – unleash the irresistible inner you]
A sigma male is someone, though who has alpha male qualities, and doesn’t feel the need to show them off for attention. Also, if they don’t take leadership roles, though they had opportunities, they’re probably sigma males.
24. They think deep
This is also one of the main reasons why they have problems connecting with people. Sigma males are extremely analytical and overthinkers.
This doesn’t come from having a lack of intelligence. Rather, it’s the opposite. They’re deep thinkers and highly intelligent people. [Read: 40 Very deep questions to ask someone before you get close to them]
25. They’re confident
A sigma male doesn’t share the same confidence as an alpha male. An alpha male is a dominant extrovert and needs the approval of other people.
While the sigma male is a dominant introvert. He doesn’t need to be loud to show his confidence. This confidence comes from a genuine sense of self-worth.
26. They live in their heads
Now don’t take this as a bad thing. A sigma man knows who he is very well. He spends a lot of time self-reflecting and observing the world around him. [Read: Introvert problems – 12 quick fixes to nip the bad ones in the bud]
His decisions are well-planned, and since he lives in his head, he overthinks everything. Of course, living in your head has its pros and cons.
27. They learn from their failures
Because the sigma male is constantly self-reflecting and overthinking, when they do make a mistake *and it does happen*, they learn from their failures.
They may make the same mistake twice, but they’ll never make it a third time. Even if they need to do something that will momentarily hurt them but benefit them in the long run, they’ll do it. [Read: Feeling like a failure? 14 ways to find your will and change your mindset]
28. They can be loners
Since sigma males don’t need validation from other people, they may not have a lot of friends. On the other hand, they could have a lot of friends since people are attracted to those who have self-worth and confidence.
But he’s not going to waste his time with people he doesn’t connect with. So, he very well could be a loner.
29. They’re not the biggest talkers
This doesn’t mean they’re living a life of solitude. Sigma males are not alphas. In other words, they’re not going to be huge talkers. [Read: 12 things to look for in a guy before you date him]
So, your first impression of them may not be the best. They’re not going to use empty words to keep a conversation going or give you false compliments.
30. They adapt easily to change
Because sigma males are so laid back and chill, they don’t have a problem with change. While some people freak out at the mere thought of it, they just go with the flow and realize it’s inevitable. Everything in life changes eventually, and they know it.
31. They flirt with danger
Dangerous situations not only don’t bother them, they like to seek them out. Whether it’s jumping on a moving train or jumping off of a cliff, they like to flirt with danger.
It gives them a rush and they like the feeling of being on the edge of disaster. [Read: 50 Shades of dangerous sex – the right way to get risqué]
32. They are humble leaders
Although sigma males don’t seek to be in a leadership position, it can and does happen. But unlike the alpha male who is extroverted, dominant, and loud, the sigma leads people differently.
Instead, they lead people by inspiring others with their passion and dedication. They are very humble leaders and don’t like to take credit for things that get accomplished.
33. They are successful in what they do
They are also successful people. Just because they don’t say much, keep to themselves, and retreat into their shells doesn’t mean that they can’t be successful. The careers they are best at are the ones that require them to work alone so they can have quiet time by themselves.
Are sigma males attractive?
Many women find sigma males highly attractive and are interested in dating one. That is usually because the sigma males have a veil of mystery around them, and that is intriguing to a lot of people. [Read: What do women want in a man? The 14 things women actually want]
The sigma male personality is highly sought after by potential partners. They are like closed books, and they don’t share much about themselves.
And this is attractive to women because they see the sigma males as a challenge. They want to “crack the code” on a sigma male because that makes them feel valuable if they can do it.
Also, sigma males have strength, intelligence, and independence that are also attractive to women. They are confident and don’t require validation from other people. For example, they won’t change themselves for anyone’s approval.
The bottom line is, sigma males can be the stereotypical “bad boy” that a lot of women seek. For some reason, this personality type is something that many women like and want to be with. [Read: How to be a bad boy – 14 wild *and legal* bad traits women love]
Dating a sigma male
So, you’re probably wondering what it’s like to date a sigma male. Is it something that women find enjoyable or frustrating? Well, it depends on the woman.
If you’re a woman who is considering dating this lone wolf that makes your heart melt, then you should know what you’re getting yourself into.
1. Let them be independent
The most important thing to remember is that sigma males are independent and free-spirited. Don’t try to pin him down because that will be very off-putting to him. They don’t like jealous or intimidating women. [Read: Avoidant attachment style – the types, 32 symptoms, and how to love one]
2. Respect his boundaries
You also have to respect his boundaries. Because he’s an introvert, he needs his personal space and time. He won’t necessarily tell you this or verbalize anything related to it, but you will sense it by his actions.
3. Don’t try to impress him with things
He probably won’t care much for things like makeup or brand names. So, don’t try to impress him with that stuff. Remember, he doesn’t succumb to societal trends and doesn’t want you to either.
4. Don’t let his behavior freak you out
Remember, sigma males are natural loners, which means that they prioritize themselves and sometimes forget to give attention to the woman they’re with. He might not contact you for days.
But don’t panic. He might have just been playing video games for days and been in his shell. It’s probably not about you. [Read: Blowing hot and cold – why they do this, the stages, and how to handle it]
5. He prefers a woman like him
A sigma male also prefers his female counterpart – a sigma female. He wants a woman who is equally free-spirited, self-sufficient, and independent. The sigma doesn’t like docile and dull women either.
6. You might have to “remind” him of your presence
Because a sigma male can retreat into his own little world and forget everything else, you might also be a “causality” of that personality characteristic. In other words, you are going to have to do a lot of work in the relationship if you want to spend time with him.
7. Don’t force him into the spotlight
If you’re an extrovert and love being the center of attention, you probably won’t understand why a sigma male doesn’t. So, because you like being in the spotlight, you might encourage him to do the same.
But don’t do that. He will never, ever want the spotlight. [Read: 14 Signs of attention-seeking behavior that masks their insecurity]
8. Don’t try to change him
Sadly, a lot of women love a good “project” when it comes to dating a guy. In other words, they want to change him to make him into someone she likes more.
But don’t do that because he will resist. You shouldn’t ever try to change anyone, but you will get nowhere with a sigma if you try.
When you’re dating a sigma male, he is a careful observer and seeks knowledge. If you can accept his freedom and independence, you can have a quality relationship with him.
Sigma male advantages with women
Since women are highly attractive to women, you might wonder why exactly that is. In other words, what advantages do they have with women over other types of men? Here are a few. [Read: Female-led relationship – how it works, and 21 pros when ladies lead love]
1. They listen to women
Sigmas are good listeners and can be very insightful. They aren’t much for talking either, so that makes them a good person to vent to, which women do like. Sigma males understand feelings, and all women love that as well.
2. They let women be the center of attention
Don’t mistake a sigma male’s quietness for shyness. He’s not shy, it’s just that he doesn’t like being the center of attention.
And so that makes him reserved, which opens the spotlight for the woman he’s with to be the center of attention. So, if you’re a confident, outgoing woman, you will like this quality in him.
3. They have deep conversations with women
Believe it or not, sigma males aren’t afraid to be in touch with their emotions. And we all know that women love to have deep conversations about anything under the sun.
Not only will a sigma listen to everything she says, but he will also impart some wisdom too which can help her out. [Read: The best deep conversation starters to impress anyone anytime]
4. They are a challenge
You have probably heard the term, “people want what they can’t have,” right? Well, because sigmas are mysterious, a loner, and not very talkative, they can appear as if they don’t care about a woman.
This should be a turn-off, but for a lot of women, it’s not. They see it as a challenge and run after him.
Benefits of a sigma male lifestyle
Some people might think that being a sigma male is a lonely life. Well, they don’t think of it that way. In fact, they see a lot of advantages to being the way they are. Here are a few of the benefits.
1. Freedom
A lot of people like their freedom and to do whatever they want. It’s not always fun to have to consult with other people before you do something. And sigmas don’t feel the need to do that. [Read: 14 Spirited steps to be independent in a relationship and love better]
They also don’t care what other people think, which is about the most freeing way you can live your life. They don’t worry that other people don’t agree with them or judge them. It just rolls right off their shoulders and they get on with their lives.
2. Clear-headedness
Because they are introverts, they spend a lot of time in their own heads. And as a result of this, they know what they want and they go for it. They have a very clear head about what they want and don’t want as well as what direction they want to go in their lives
3. No drama
Because they don’t like crowds and like to be alone, they steer clear of people. And what comes along with people? Drama.
So, that means they don’t participate in the drama that other people do. As a result, they are calm, level-headed, and predictable. [Read: How to distance yourself from a friend without a lot of drama]
4. Attraction
As we’ve already discussed, women tend to be attracted to their confidence, novelty, and mystery. Some men probably admire them because they tend to have women who chase them since they are mysterious.
Drawbacks of being a sigma male
Being a sigma male has its advantages, but there are also some drawbacks to being one too. Here are some things they have to deal with.
1. Being alone
Regardless of how introverted someone is, everyone needs some sort of level of human interaction. Sure, they like being alone.
But when someone is alone too much, it can make them depressed. So, this is a challenge that some sigma males may face. [Read: Are some people meant to be alone & single? 18 Signs you’re that one]
2. Being commitment-phobic
Because they like their independence and alone time, they probably shy away from committing to a relationship. Most women want to spend time with their partners, and they feel that this demand is too much for them.
As a result, they tend to be reluctant to commit to a serious relationship. They don’t want their freedom taken away. [Read: Is he afraid to commit? 30 signs he’s scared of a real relationship]
Final thoughts
Everyone has their own personality style, and none of them is better than the other. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, people definitely have their preferences.
Some might prefer the sigma to the alpha and some vice versa. Regardless, it’s important to appreciate everyone for who they are.
[Read: Understanding the sigma males differences from alpha or beta]
Hopefully, this helped you answer those questions about the sigma male traits. Who’s that guy? Oh yeah, he’s a sigma male!
