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33 Secrets Steps to Text a Girl You Like & Make Her Miss and Desire You

There’s a girl who’s grabbed your attention but you have no idea how to text a girl you like. Don’t worry! We have some useful hints and tips to help.  

how to text a girl you like

Thank goodness for technology! Now you can simply text and talk to the girl you’re crushing over without having to sweat and bumble over your words. Of course, you still need to know how to text a girl you like in the right way, otherwise your efforts are completely in vain.

You might think that firing off a quick text is easy, and compared to actually approaching her, it is. Yet, you can still get it very, very wrong indeed if you’re not careful.

Wrong timing, wrong words, misunderstandings, allowing texting anxiety to take hold.

The potential for disaster is still pretty high even if you manage to spare your in-person blushes. It’s also far easier for someone to ignore you over text than it is when you approach them in person.

The good news is that you can learn how to improve your texting game and improve your chances of your crush responding in a positive way. [Read: How to make a girl like you without asking her out]

How to text a girl you like and make her think fondly of you

If you want to learn the right way to contact your crush, just use these few tips on how to text a girl you like and you’ll see how easy it can be.

1. Early evening is the best time to text a girl

Most girls are busy during the day, so if you text her around this time, she might become busy, forget you’ve texted, and not reply. If you text late at night, you run the risk of her getting the wrong idea and assuming you’re after a booty call.

Start by texting her early in the evening and look for ways to keep the conversation going. Most people are more relaxed at this time and usually not quite so busy. [Read: How to flirt with a girl by behaving like a friend]

2. Be unique with your first text

If you want to know how to text a girl for the first time, don’t think too much of it. Just keep it casual and simple. “Hey! Just thought I’d say hi!” is simple and just one of several ways to initiate a first text with a girl you like, but it’s pretty boring too.

It’s better to think of something quirky and unique to say because that way you’ll stick in her mind and she’ll be more inclined to reply. However, there is a difference between quirky and weird, remember that!

In truth, as long as you don’t accidentally insult her, there’s never a wrong way to text a girl. It’s what you do after the first text that always matters. [Read: What do girls look for in a guy to fall for him?]

3. Once the ice is broken, keep your follow up text short

Nobody’s got time for paragraphs! If you’ve been texting each other back and forth for a few days, you really don’t need to look for reasons to text her again, nor do you need long elaborate introductions.

Start with a warm and simple line that feels good to read. It leaves the conversation open and you’ll be able to know if she’s free to chat too.

“Hey, what are you doing?” or even just a smiley face should work perfectly to start a conversation once the initial icebreaker has already been used.

4. Use the good morning/goodnight text strategy 

There’s just something about a good morning/good night text that makes a person feel warm inside. Those texts are simple yet effective.

You’re letting her know she’s on your mind when you wake up and when you go to bed. Now, you don’t need to send both of them, or else it can be a little much. But that also depends on your connection and conversations throughout the day. [Read: 20 reasons a good morning text is so important]

5. Ask questions to show your interest in her

Ask her about her day. Be interested in her life and let her know that you’re always interested in knowing more about her while texting each other. It’ll help her open up.

It also shows that you’re not selfish or self-absorbed. Constantly talking about yourself might be something you do out of nerves but it can really backfire.

At the same time, don’t fire questions at her as though she’s in an interview ether. Learning how to text a girl you like should come down to a blend of back and forth questions and mutual conversation. [Read: 60 get to know you questions for a new romance]

6. Look at how you two met

How did you two meet before you had her number? Were you friends? Did you ask for her number? This will help you decide what to text a girl you like, and how you’re going to approach her.

If you two were already friends, well, now you need to express you like her more than a friend and see what happens. But if you met her at a club, bar, or from a mutual friend, you’re starting without much information about her. [Read: How to start subtly flirting with a girl over text]

7. Choose a pet name for her

Pet names are very personal and unique. If you want the relationship to take the next step, you need to create a personal bond between both of you.

And the best way to do just that is by giving her a pet name. Personalize the relationship both of you share and it’ll bring both of you closer.

But, don’t do this straight away because it may seem like you’re moving too fast – wait until you’ve been texting back and forth for a while. [Read: How to choose a perfect and unique nickname]

8. Don’t just say “hey” or “what’s up?”

You don’t need to text that. Nothing really good comes out of texting a girl, “what’s up?” It’s stale. Instead, tell her what you’re doing and then ask her what’s up. It just gives off a better vibe, and that you’re into the conversation.

9. Try to mirror her approach

A good way to text someone is to mirror their texts. So, if she’s someone who uses emojis, feel free to use them in your texts. If she’s a quick replier, you don’t need to wait five hours to send her a message. If she teases you, tease her back.

Let her set the tone and adjust yourself to it. [Read: How to tease a girl over text and get her to flirt back with you]

10. Send her a few photos

No, not dick pics or forced selfies. If you’re camping on the weekend, send her a picture of the view. Or the new bike you bought. It doesn’t really matter, but by doing this, you include her in your day.

Plus, it gives her an idea of who you are as a person. Who knows, maybe she’s really into camping as well.

11. Don’t flirt all the time

Even if she knows you like her already, avoid flirting with her in every single instance. It’ll just bore her if all you do is flirt with her.

Text about everyday activities and let her see that you’re interested in knowing more about her and her life. [Read: 5 different types of flirting and how to pick one that works for you]

12. But remember to flirt when you get the opportunity!

Every now and then, you’ll find the perfect opportunity to flirt with her. Wait for that moment and use it to tease her, especially when she makes a compliment about herself or talks about how good she is at doing something.

A good excuse to challenge and flirt with her will always work in your favor. [Read: The best flirty texts & sweet messages to make her smile]

13. Be a little suggestive occasionally, but not all the time

But always be vague unless you already know what she wants to hear. You can play it safe or get naughty depending on the way she texts back.

You: “I wish I was with you right now”

She: “Yeah? Why?”

You: “You did say you’re in bed, right?”

[Read: 20 very subtle dirty questions to ask a girl and make her wet in under 15 minutes]

14. Use emojis, but sparingly

Unless the girl you’re texting specifically says she hates emojis, make sure you leave a few kisses and a smile when you’re texting her goodbye.

Even if she makes a big deal of it, you can always joke about it and say it was a goodbye kiss on her cheek! [Read: How to make a girl want to kiss you by arousing her]

15. Pay attention to the small details

If she tells you that she’s got an important meeting at work the next day or she’s got a big test coming up, remember and ask her how it went. It shows that you’re listening and she’ll think it’s really sweet that you thought to ask.

16. Create personal memories

Always look for ways to create a bond between you. Tell her about your favorite song, movie, or place you like. Each time she comes across something you’ve talked about, give her a reason to think of you.

17. Be wary of how your messages come across

The major issue with texting is that there is a huge scope for misunderstanding. How you might read something in your mind may not be the same as how she reads it. She might take it as offensive or not at all funny.

Make sure that you read your message before you send it. Don’t stress over it too much, but at the same time, just check there’s nothing in there that could be taken the wrong way. [Read: 8 little texting mistakes new couples often make]

18. Don’t obsess over her replies

Ah, texting anxiety. That old chestnut! Once you’ve texted her for the first time, wait a while. She may be busy, she may not have charge on her phone, she may simply be tired.

Wait until the next day and don’t be tempted to send another text trying to push her into responding. It just comes over as desperate or clingy. Keep yourself busy and try and distract your mind.

If she hasn’t responded by the end of the next day, it’s generally okay to send one more text but after that, leave it alone. Don’t push or chase. If she doesn’t give you her attention freely, you don’t want it. [Read: Am I being ghosted? 25 signs you’re on the verge of being dropped by a girl]

19. Be a little mushy before saying goodbye

Compliment her appearance, her personality, or say something that makes her feel warm and fuzzy inside. But focus on these texts a few minutes before you say goodbye.

If you want her to fall for you, she has to become excited by you and then has to feel romantically attached to you. That’s the way love and infatuation work.

By flirting with her, you’ll be able to arouse her. And by talking about how special she is or by complimenting her for her personality at the end of your texting conversation, you can make her feel romantic. It’s the perfect balance to make a girl like you while texting her. [Read: Tips to subtly touch a girl and turn her on]

20. Don’t always text her first

Don’t feel that you always need to be the one to text first. Not only does this put pressure on you and cause a pleasant situation to turn stressful but it may cause her to feel bombarded with texts. Maybe she’s just not someone who texts much – those people do still exist!

Do your bit for a few days and then wait and see if she texts you first the following day. If she’s into you, she will – just hang tight! [Read: How often should you text a girl? 17 must know rules of texting]

21. Be very careful with teasing

Now, teasing is fun and it’s cute in some ways, but it doesn’t always translate well on text. If you’re going to tease her make sure it’s nothing that could be misconstrued and nothing too personal. Remember, you don’t know her that well yet and she’s still trying to work you out.

Emojis can help you out here, as you can send a winking face or a kissy face after a teasing comment, so that she knows it’s meant in good nature.

22. If you know she’s with friends, don’t text

You might want her to remember you right at that moment, just in case she’s around other people who may turn her head, but it comes over as being a little too much.

If she’s told you that she’s going out with friends or family, give her the space she needs and perhaps just ask her if she had a nice time when you text her the next day.

She’ll appreciate you giving her some space. [Read: Should I text her? What to know before you touch your phone]

23. Funny scenario questions always work well

If you’re struggling to come up with something to say, you could always think of a funny scenario and pose it to her. Such as, would you rather stay on a beautiful Caribbean island without your cell phone for a month or somewhere freezing cold with Internet access?

These are quirky ideas and they’ll make her laugh. You’ll also get to know a lot about her by asking these questions but again, less is more! [Read: 140 very random but fun questions to ask a girl and make her enjoy texting you]

24. Share funny memes or videos you find

Occasionally – with ‘occasionally being the word’, send her a funny meme or video you’ve found. It will make her smile and there’s no need for words from you when you send something like that either. [Read: 25 funny things to text a girl & win her heart with your funny bone]

25. Don’t wait too long to text back, but don’t do it immediately either

Unless you’re in the middle of a texting conversation, it’s a good idea to wait a few minutes before you respond. Otherwise, it looks like you’re sitting with your phone in your hand, waiting for her to text you. We mean, you are probably, but she doesn’t need to know that!

Also, don’t wait too long either! Yes, it’s a game you need to get right but if you leave her waiting too long, she’s going to get bored and assume you’re not interested.

At the end of the day, you’re simply talking to another human being. Yes, it’s a girl you like, but she’s still human! Try not to build it up too much in your mind and allow your natural personality to shine through. [Read: Texting etiquette & flirting – 26 rules guys & girls must follow]

26. Call her sometimes too

That’s right. No one ever calls each other anymore, but the guys who do take that step are always remembered. It’s a big move nowadays and can tell a lot about a guy. To actually phone someone means you’re really into them.

When you call her, say something like “what I want to say is too long to text,” or “I can’t text anymore, my fingers are cramping” and add a line that you were eager to listen to her voice too.

27. Always have a goal for your text

Okay, of course, you can text her without having a goal. Maybe she popped into your mind, or you just want to keep the interaction fresh – we get it. But, at the end of the day, your goal is to go on a date with her, right? Right.

So, yes, text her, but eventually, at some point, you’ll need to ask her out. [Read: How to ask a girl out over text and get that instant “yes!”]

Be sure to avoid these pitfalls!

Of course, texting has the potential for disaster too. The key is to know how to avoid making major mistakes and stick to the right way to do things. Here are a few things you must avoid when learning what to text a girl you like. 

1. Don’t only text at night

If you constantly text late at night, she’s going to think that you’ve got only one thing in mind. Booty calls or booty texts aren’t the best way to start a potential relationship.

Sure if that’s all you want, go for it, but if you want to build something a little more long-lasting, make sure that you vary the times of the day you text her and don’t stick to the dead of the night.

2. Don’t bombard her with questions

Yes, you should ask questions to get the conversation flowing but don’t fire question after question at her.

If you do that, she’s going to feel like she’s in the middle of a text job interview and not talking to someone she might want to meet up with for a date. 

3. Don’t send dick pics

We’ve touched upon this one before but it’s worth really solidifying in your mind. Dick pics are never welcome. Never. Just don’t. Please. [Read: Dick selfies and why men love sending dick pics to women]

4. Don’t overdo it

Yes, you want to keep the conversation ticking along nicely but remember that she probably has things she needs to do with her day and that doesn’t mean she can sit and text you constantly.

Sometimes, less is more! If she goes quiet, don’t panic; it’s probably that she’s busy and she’ll get back to you later on.

5. Don’t be thirsty

If you text a girl and she doesn’t reply, don’t send another text yet. Just don’t. Leave it a few days, and if you want to, there is a window of opportunity to send one more – but only one.

If you don’t get a reply after that, it looks like she’s not interested and you have to let it go and move on.

Yes, it’s hard, but don’t be so thirsty that you’re bombarding her and wanting to know why she’s not replying. [Read: 22 reasons why she’s suddenly lost interest and what you can do now]

6. Don’t be unclear in your texting

The problem with texting is that you can never be sure how the person is going to interpret your words, unless you’re very clear. Unless you know someone very well, you can never be sure how they’re going to take something like sarcasm, because it can so easily be misunderstood.

Make sure that you check your texts before you send them and don’t try and be mysterious – it just won’t work in written form. 

As you can see, texting isn’t as easy as it looks! However, these few tips will help you to get it right every time and look forward to plentiful long text conversations that you can move toward in-person date situations. 

[Read: 77 funny things to text a girl and make her laugh and love you over text]

Keep these tips on how to text a girl you like in your mind while texting her. And you’ll see how easy it can be to woo a girl through a few well-timed texts and lines.

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Keith Brown
With a penchant for downing more energy drinks than is sane, Keith Brown is a bartender and amateur mixologist who geeks about superheroes and spends way too mu...
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