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How to Talk to a Girl: 20 Secrets That’ll Make You Irresistible to Women

Wanna know how to talk to a girl and get her to enjoy talking to you? Here’s a full guide on how to talk to girls and impress them with your words!

How to Talk to a Girl

Let’s face it, any guy can talk to a girl. But mastering the art of talking to girls in a way that’ll make them want to spend time talking with you? Now that’s what we’re going to master here. Over the next 10 minutes, we’ll cover how to talk to a girl when she’s alone AND how to talk to girls when they’re in a group too!

If you can remember and practice these key tips while talking to women, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll be able to impress them effortlessly. But then again, of course, there are a few character traits that comes into play too! [Check them here: 15 essentials a man must have to easily impress any girl]

Have you ever walked into a room and instantly found yourself smitten by a gorgeous girl standing across the room? Ever wondered how to talk to a girl you like at a time like this?

How to make a move to talk to a girl you like

One of the biggest hurdles most guys face is making the first move. Chatting up a girl is easy if you’re going to be introduced to her by a mutual friend. But when you have to walk up to a girl you’ve never spoken to before, and want to start a conversation, in front of all those people, your heart can start to beat faster than a hummingbird on heat.

[Read: Everything you need to know to approach a girl you don’t know and wow her!]

To make things easier for you, here are a few steps you need to follow every time you see a girl you like from afar. And before you know it, mastering how to talk to a girl you like will be as easy as a walk in the park.

First things first: How to talk to a girl you like and get her interested in talking to you

You’re interested in talking to great girls, aren’t you? And just like you, girls are interested in talking to great guys too. So really, there’s nothing to be worried about here!

Remember the biggest rule when it comes to knowing how to talk to a girl – you can’t jump steps. Just like you have to learn to walk before you can run, you need to learn to make her like you EVEN before you ever talk to her. [Read: How to get a girl to notice you even before you talk to her]

1. Let her know you’re interested in her

Talking to a girl isn’t as simple as walking up to her and asking her out on a date. It may work in the movies, but in all probability, it won’t work in real life. A girl needs to know you’re interested in her, before you approach her, so she can evaluate you.

If you just walk up to a girl who doesn’t have a hint that you’re walking up to her, you may just end up shocking her. And she’s going to say the first thing her mum taught her to say to intruding boys. “Go away!” [Read: How to get a girl’s attention and her eye no matter where you are]

2. Make eye contact

This is very important. Once she knows you exist, take the game a notch higher. Firstly, whatever you were doing when you saw her, just continue doing just that. Live your life, and enjoy your own moment doing your own thing.

BUT glance at her now and then to arouse her curiosity. Does she glance back at you occasionally? Does she smile to herself when you catch her eye? Do her friends look at you and smile? Watch out for the happy signs. [Read: 10 subtle eye contact moves you need to use when you like a girl]

There’s no point in trying to figure out how to talk to a girl if all she does is give you a dirty stare or doesn’t care whether you’re looking at her. Asking a girl out in such cases usually ends up being a disaster and for a novice’s confidence, it’s best to be avoided.

3. Don’t pick her up

Using a pickup line may be smart and cocky, but in most cases, pickup lines fail. The best way to figure out when and how to talk to a girl is to avoid pick up lines and use pick up circumstances instead! [If you do want to use pickup lines, try these: 30 awesome pickup lines that work and 10 that almost never do]

If it’s a conference or a gallery and she walks up to a display, stand next to her and say something out of the blue like “do you know how long it took to make this?” or something just as casual. Likewise, whether it’s in the office, a park, or even a bar, look around and ask her a question that’s relevant to something around her.

But always remember to keep it vague. A vague question makes a girl wonder for a few seconds, and unwittingly, she’s going to end up responding to you. You’re not hitting on her, you’re just asking her something, and the intellectual part of her brain can’t help but answer you!

4. Don’t come on too strong

Now this works best just after you’ve spoken to her, after asking her a really vague question. Once she answers it, both of you are in talking mode but not really friends. She would have answered your question and looked away. She obviously knows you’re hitting on her, so she won’t really try to continue the conversation. She may just smile and look away. [Read: 16 tips to keep a flirty conversation going with the opposite sex]

You can do one of two things, introduce yourself right away, or continue with the questions and introduce yourself after asking her a few more questions.

Prolonging the conversation can make it so much more exciting for both of you. But of course, she could just walk out of the conversation if she’s at a bar counter waiting for a drink. If you’re introducing yourself, go ahead and introduce yourself. And be honest, tell her you have a confession to make, that you’ve been wanting to speak with her all evening. It’s sincere, and most of all, it’s flattery that works.

She obviously knows you’ve been staring at her and both of you have been exchanging glances. So you’re not “picking” her up. You’re making conversation instead. [Read: 15 very obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]

5. Give her the space

When you’re talking to a girl, make sure she knows she can walk out whenever she wants. Don’t corner her in awkward spaces like outside the ladies’ room, or a quiet corridor. If you can handle it, you can even talk to a girl when she’s with her friends. There’s more on talking to a group of girls that we’ll get to below.

Always remember, if she feels like she has the space and is comfortable in her surroundings, she’s going to be a lot more comfortable talking to you. [Read: How to charm a girl and flatter her into liking you]

But then again, this is tricky. If you give a girl too much space, you may not be able to build a connection and she may just end up walking away. But as long as you’ve got the first four steps right, she won’t really walk away.

After all, if you’ve warmed her up, she’s going to want to talk to you too! As long as you’ve used these first five steps on how to talk to a girl to the tee, you’ll be able to talk to a girl and impress her, without really making it appear like you’re trying to pick her up. [Read: 12 things a girl does when she likes you already]

Keeping her interested: How to talk to a girl and get her to really enjoy talking to you

The first five tips on how to talk to a girl should help you strike a conversation with a girl and impress her too. But that’s not it. To really impress a girl, you need to know what to talk about with a girl, and how to do it the right way.

What to talk about with a girl and enjoy your conversation

While talking to a girl for the first time can be tricky, knowing what to talk about with a girl can be the deal maker or breaker.

Anyone can start a conversation using the tips in the introduction, but what next? That’s when you have to reveal your true colors and woo her with your own charm. [Read: 20 signs the girl you’re talking to likes you already!]

If you really want to make her like you on your very first conversation, use these tips to keep the conversation going.

6. After the introduction

Starting a conversation is actually simpler than continuing the conversation. After all, you don’t have a clue what she likes or doesn’t like. So this is where you have to play safe.

If you’re wondering what to talk about with her, then go with the obvious. If you’re having some difficulty coming up with conversation lines, use a conversation starter. [Read: What to talk about with a girl – 30 conversation starters to keep a conversation going with her]

You really don’t have to constantly bombard her with questions just to avoid any blank spaces in the conversation. Relax and feel comfortable. When you’re nervous, it shows. And that would only make her feel uneasy to be around you. [Read: How to act cool in front of a girl and banish the awkwardness]

7. Don’t put her in a spot

Sometimes it’s easy to get carried away in a conversation. Don’t do that.  The one thing you need to remember is to never put the girl in a spot. Don’t make her feel uncomfortable or nervous with your questions. [Read: 20 conversation tips to keep in mind while talking to a girl you want to impress]

Don’t ask her stupid questions like “you were staring back at me too, right?” “You look good in this dress, where did you get it?” and a lot more along those lines. They’re awkward and really dumb. Avoid looking down her shirt or staring at her below her neck.

Unless she’s down to f*ck and has made it obvious, indulging in any of these activities will only make her feel uncomfortable and awkward. And when that happens, she’d only want to walk away from you. [Read: How to know for sure if a girl is DTF]

8. Be warm and likeable

A lot of guys get very excited when a girl reciprocates their moves and starts a conversation with them. Just because a girl wants to continue the conversation with you doesn’t mean she’s easy to get.

You still have to respect her and treat her like a lady. Have a conversation with her just like you would with a girl you were introduced to. Don’t smart talk or talk dirty. Well, unless she wants to! [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction a girl may give away!]

9. Smile often and flirt

If you really want to know what to talk about with a girl, remember the one thing that matters more than anything else. Her comfort.

As long as she’s comfortable and happy around you, she’d be happy to talk to you and spend time with you. So more than the words you choose, focus on how you can make her feel comfortable around you. [Read: How to use the art of flirty touches to make her melt]

One of the best ways to ease a girl and make her want to be with you is through humor. You really don’t have to learn a few one-liners and jokes for this. You just need to be a happy guy. A guy who smiles and has a great laugh makes for great company. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile and like you instantly]

10. Don’t talk forever

In most cases, you’d meet a great girl at a meeting or a conference, or at other times in a café or a club. Unless both of you are specifically meeting up for a date, don’t try to hover around the girl for the entire evening. Remember, she has her own obligations and commitments.

If you’re just going to talk on and on, there’s a good chance she’ll be annoyed with you and would just want to shut you up. One of the best ways to avoid this is to ask her if she has to go somewhere, and flatter her at the same time.

Saying something like “I’d really love to stay here and talk with you for a while. Would that be alright with you?” Try it, you’ll see the difference. [Read: Perfect examples to compliment a girl and make her blush]

Even if she has to go somewhere else, this line will definitely lead to more phone conversations and sweet dates! [Read: How to win a girl’s heart and impress her effortlessly]

Now that you know what to talk about with a girl and how to continue a great conversation with her, remember these tips when you come across a beauty that catches your eye.  After all, great conversations aren’t just about words!

How to talk to girls in a group without breaking a sweat!

Now that you have a fair idea about how to approach a girl and talk to her, now we move on to the next part of the puzzle – how to talk to a group of girls who are hanging out all at once. You see, as a guy, learning how to talk to girls is an important rite of passage.

So if you want to know how to talk to more than one girl at the same time, just count yourself lucky and follow these steps!

How to talk to several girls at the same time

Wanna impress a group of girls with your words? There’s just one thing you need to keep in mind.

We’ve discussed this earlier, but this is key. The girls you’re talking to need to have a fun time while talking to you. This is, by far, the easiest way to understand why some guys are effortless casanovas, while others bumble their way to failure.

As long as you understand what it takes to ensure that the girls you’re talking to are having a wonderful time with you, you’d definitely be able to walk away from the conversation with a little piece of their hearts!

Want to awe a group of girls all at once, even if there are several girls in a group? Read on to learn the art of talking to multiple girls using these steps.

Approaching a girl who’s in a group

Trying to catch the attention of a girl who’s in a group of girls isn’t very different from trying to get her attention when she’s alone. Firstly, you need to let her know you exist. You need to make the right eye contact. And finally, you need to walk up to her and make a conversation. [Read: How to get a girl’s attention and talk to her no matter where you are]

But even the perfect approach to getting introduced to a group of girls can’t help you win them over if you don’t know the right way to keep them engaged in the conversation.

How to talk to a group of girls and impress them all at once

The goal here is to talk to girls and leave them talking about you long after you’re gone. So you need to remember these key points that really matter when it comes to chatting up a group of girls.

1. Focus on fun

This is the most basic and yet important part of having a conversation with a group of girls. If you can convince the girls that you’re a lot of fun to spend time with, they’d reach out to you just to hang out with you.

Try to have a positive attitude and let the world see you for the fun guy you are. As long as you feel alive and excited to spend time with a group of girls, they’d feel your enthusiasm and enjoy your company too. Even if it’s only for a quick conversation while you make a move on the girl you really like. [Read: The beginner’s guide to become a funny and lovable guy!]

2. Enough with the weird and awkward questions

A lot of guys just don’t understand this. When you talk to a girl or even a group of girls, don’t ask awkward questions.

“Were you girls trying to avoid me?” “Eating that will make you fat, you know that right?!” “Most people think I’m boring. Do you think I’m boring?” Awkward questions like these will only make girls want to avoid you. Charm them instead! [Read: 10 types of creepy guys all girls avoid like the plague]

3. Get them talking

The best way to keep a conversation going with a group of girls is by making all of them feel involved. This is important. Ask questions or make statements that all girls can relate to. When you do that, any of the girls can add in their opinions and create a conversation among each other too.

It makes all the girls feel more involved. And that’s always a great way to get closer to all of them at once. If you’re talking about something like music or a new social media trend, there are bound to be a few healthy arguments and opinions. And all of that will definitely work in your favor.

You’re the one initiating the conversation, but that’s enough to make the girls think you’re an amazing conversationalist! [Read: Really smooth ways to keep a conversation going with the opposite sex]

4. Be humorous

Any great conversationalist would be able to tell you that humor is the one thing that can make everyone lose their inhibitions and bring them closer to you instantly.

Learn to be a funny and witty guy. And you’ll never have any trouble getting girls to talk to you and like you. [Read: How to be a witty banter master and be the fun life of the party]

5. Win over all girls

An awkward guy focuses his attention on just one girl while the other girls stare around the place looking bored. But a great guy, well, he makes every girl feel like she’s the center of his attention!

Don’t focus on just one girl when you’re talking to a group of girls. Unless all the girls you’re talking to already know you’re only interested in one particular girl, and are trying to woo her. While talking to a group of girls, make eye contact with all the girls randomly. [Read: 12 Prince Charming traits that all girls love about a guy]

And while talking too, dart your eyes across to everyone, especially the girls who seem distracted. A group of girls is like an audience. If you lose one girl’s attention, it’s only a matter of time before you lose the attention of all the girls! [Read: How to get someone to like you immediately after meeting them]

6. Be warm and likeable

Smile a lot and laugh wholeheartedly when you’re having a conversation with a group of girls. If you want to take your funny bone a notch higher, learn to use self-deprecating humor, at least at the beginning.

Girls just love watching a guy make a fool of himself by behaving like a bumbling Hugh Grant when he tries to be witty and fun. And the best part, this kind of humor almost never ever fails with a group of girls. [Read: The art of using self-deprecating humor to impress women]

But then again, don’t get too carried away or you’d end up looking pitiful!

7. Get naughty when you get the chance

Talking naughty is risky business, especially when you’re talking to more than one girl. If your joke annoys a girl, you’d be jeopardizing the entire conversation. But then again, naughty flirting is the easiest way to hysterical laughter and a better impression.

So instead of telling a dirty little joke and deflating your ego against a few piercing stares, learn to get naughty using something one of the girls says to you. We call this situational humor using a double entendre. And it’s the kind where you use something said by one of the girls and twist what the girl said into something dirty.

You don’t even need to say anything here to be funny. You can just look at her and smile mischievously when she says a line that could be interpreted as something dirty. When the other girls see you smile, their dirty little minds will interpret the joke and they’ll laugh, without you even having to say anything! [Read: 12 types of humor and the right way to use it with girls]

8. The two body languages

There are two things that matter about body language while talking to girls, your body language and theirs. When you talk to a group of girls, stand up tall or sit upright, unless you’re gesticulating.

On the other hand, you also need to keep an eye on the body language of the girls you’re talking to. Are the girls focused on you? Or do they seem distracted? Are they nodding their head when you say something? Are they laughing along? Or is one of them constantly staring at her watch?

Body language always gives away far more details than the words you hear. [Read: 18 body language signs to find out if your conversation mate likes you]

9. Use other girls to impress one

If you’re trying to impress one girl in the group of girls, don’t just talk to her and ignore her friends. Involve her friends and talk to them too.

But every now and then, compliment the girl you like or say something specifically to her. Her friends may even take your side and tease the girl you like. And that makes all her friends your unintentional wingmen to win her over! [Read: How to compliment a girl and make her blush]

10. Walk away and leave them wanting

This part is crucial in leaving the perfect impression. Don’t stick around with a group of girls until you see a few girls yawning or staring at their phones. Always walk away when you know they still really want you around.

If you walk away from them just when they’re having fun and laughing, they’d feel your loss the very second you walk away. And one of the girls may even comment about what a nice guy you are!

Just then, right there, you need to realize that you’ve displayed your awesomeness in front of a whole group of girls. And won them over too!

[Read: The art of making a girl want you and desire you sexually]

So that’s how you do it! So if you’re wondering how to talk to a girl or even a group of girls, just use these steps here. Seriously, try it, you’ll see just how effective they are within minutes!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...