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Why Do Girls Reject Me? Reasons & Ways to Respond

If you’re wondering ‘why do girls reject me,’ know it happens to the best of us. What you need to do is learn how to respond to a girl’s rejection instead. 

how to respond when a girl rejects you

The fact you’re reading this tells us that you’ve spent far too long wondering ‘why do girls reject me.’ You’re not alone, but by learning how to respond when a girl rejects you, you’ll be able to handle anything that comes flying your way in life.

Rejection is hard but once you overcome it, you’re invincible—well, almost.

You’re going to learn that rejection is a part of not only the dating world but in life. You may not get the job you wanted, or your parents won’t let you have the car on Friday night, but these things are going to happen.

Who said life was easy! [Read: How to grow up and be a mature adult]

Why does rejection hurt so much?

There are a number of reasons why a woman might reject a man. Most of them, the guy has some control over, although not all. Sometimes it’s you, and sometimes it’s not.

But, there’s no denying that when you get rejected, it hurts. Why? Because it’s so easy to take it personally and assume that it’s a reflection on your character or appearance.

Most of the time it’s not. We so badly want acceptance from those around us and when we get rejected, it’s a slap in the face. What you need to do is learn how to respond when a girl rejects you, rather than focusing upon the actual reaction itself. [Read: 10 obvious signs of rejection that men keep ignoring]

Why are you getting rejected by the woman you like?

Here are the most common reasons that a woman will shoot down a man. You’ll notice that some are beyond your control, but most of them are mistakes that guys make.

Are you making any of these? Read on to find out, and correct the ones you’re getting wrong. Your love life will be glad you did.

1. Being too cocky

Arrogance is the way some guys cope with their perceived shortcomings. For whatever reason, they think that coming off as cocky will cover up the fact that they’re insecure/short/boring, etc.

It never works. Being yourself, whoever that is, beats arrogance any day. [Read: How to express your opinions without seeming cocky]

2. Lacking in confidence

Probably the quality that women value most in men is self-confidence. More than good looks, money, a great job or a sense of humor, a self-assured man is extremely attractive to women. But too many guys substitute cockiness for confidence, and the two are polar opposites.

3. She’s out of your league

Sometimes, a guy gets rejected because he aimed too high. Let’s face it, there are some women that most guys never have a chance with. It might be about looks or money or age or whatever else. If you shoot for the stars, you can’t be surprised if you crash land. [Read: 9 easy moves to date a girl who’s way out of your league]

4. Too self-involved

It’s unbelievable the number of guys that, when flirting with a woman or on a first date, spend an entire evening talking about themselves. Whatever goes through their heads when they do this, either thinking the woman is impressed, or that it’s their duty to do all the talking, they are wrong.

Women hate this about guys more than most other things. Unless you’ve just returned from climbing Mount Everest, you don’t have anything more interesting to say than she does.

5. Bad hygiene

Unfortunately, bad hygiene is an all too common reason why women reject men. Luckily, it is an easily preventable one.

It’s pretty simple. Wash yourself, brush your teeth, wear clean clothes, run a comb through your hair, and you’re pretty much there. If you’re not clean, you will be rejected. [Read: 13 rules of etiquette that every man needs to know]

6. Poor performance

Rejection doesn’t just happen at the first encounter; this one can only apply once you’ve slept together. Maybe you just didn’t please her.

Women have sexual needs just like men do. If a guy isn’t meeting those needs, then she very well might reject him because of it. Most women are pretty understanding, and as long as a guy is making the effort, she should help him figure out what her needs are.

But if a guy is just a selfish lover, putting his own pleasure before hers, then he will have only himself to blame when she stops answering his calls. [Read: 11 sexy ways to be a better lover]

7. Just not her type

Sometimes, a guy is just not what a woman is looking for. It could be something about personality or maybe she’s just not physically attracted to him. Maybe the chemistry isn’t there for her.

There’s not much you can do about this, other than just accept it. That might not help you when learning how to respond when a girl rejects you, but you also have to know when it’s a lost cause. [Read: 25 things that will make you more attractive to women]

8. He’s kind of a prick

Everyone’s heard it before, that nice guys finish last, and that women like assholes. It’s impossible to deny that there’s some truth to this, but do you really want to be with a woman who likes jerks?

Take the high road, be a gentleman, and you’ll do much better.

This might be the most common reason of all that women reject men. Guys are rude towards women either because that’s how they are, or how they’ve convinced themselves that they need to be. It’s a terrible approach. [Read: Confident or cocky? 16 subtle signs that split an arrogant and modest man]

9. Right place, wrong time

Sometimes, you’re just unlucky. You approach a woman you’re into, whom on any other day might like you, too. But for whatever reason, she’s having a bad day.

Maybe she had a fight with a friend or a bad day at work or maybe she’s just under the weather. You’ve got to accept that there’s always an element of chance to things, and sometimes, the timing just isn’t right. [Read: 25 biggest dating deal breakers for women]

10. She’s already committed

Of course, one of the most common answers to ‘why do women reject me’ is that she’s already dating someone or completely committed. In that case, there’s nothing much you can do.

Learn how to respond when a girl reacts you and move on to someone who doesn’t already have a partner.

11. She’s not interested in you

This one might sting, but it’s a common reason for rejection. We all like different types of people depending upon how we feel. It could simply be that you’re not floating her boat right now.

Look at it this way – if we all liked the same people, like would be pretty boring, right? Unfortunately, this is one you simply need to suck up and get over. There will be plenty of other girls who are interested in you. [Read: Stop wasting time – 15 signs she’s not interested in a second date]

12. You don’t make her feel special

This can be based on a first impression or a date. If you don’t make her feel special, she might simply decide that you’re not worth spending time on. Harsh? Possibly, but doesn’t everyone deserve to feel special?

Everyone wants different things from dates and relationships so it could simply be that the two of you don’t gel on this basis. [Read: 20 sweet ways to make a girl feel special, loved, and lucky to be with you]

13. You have a bad reputation

Does your reputation go before you? If so, you might need to do some damage limitation before it ruins your dating life for good.

If she knows about you from other people, she’s going to be wary about getting involved. In that case, she’s likely to reject you regardless of whether your reputation is deserved or not.

14. She sensed you were only after one thing

This one is on you, unfortunately. If you approach her and make it very clear that you’re only after one thing, i.e. sex, she’s probably going to turn you down. Unless that’s what she wants to, of course.

You need to speak to her as a person that you’re truly interested in and learn about her first. The good news is that tweaking your approach should help you out here. [Read: 25 signs he just wants sex and reasons why he’s only using you for fun]

15. She’s interested in someone else

It could also be pretty bad timing because she simply has her eye on another person. Again, not much you can do about that, unless you can charm her away from the apple of her eye.

This is certainly one of the main reasons why guys are rejected by girls and it’s a difficult one to accept.

How to respond when a girl rejects you

We wish we could tell you that you’re never going to be rejected. But life simply isn’t like that. Instead, you need to learn how to respond when a girl rejects you.

Is it as fun? Probably not, but you’ll feel better about the entire situation when you handle it like an adult. No, you don’t need to call her a bitch. [Read: Fear of rejection – 12 steps to overcome and get over it without any scars]

1. Accept that not everyone is going to love you

Realize that not everyone is going to want to be with you. Once you accept that, rejection becomes a little easier to handle.

It’s still hard when you have feelings for someone, but you can’t control how someone feels for you and that’s not her fault. This doesn’t mean it’s your fault either, it simply means you are not a match. [Read: How to hit on a girl without acting like a creep]

2. Stay calm and keep your cool

You’re going to be upset. Like anyone being rejected, the first thing you’re going to be is hurt and then, well, a little angry. But listen, this isn’t the moment for you to freak out and start yelling at her. No, no, no.

Just chill and play this cool. You can freak out later in the privacy of your own home, but for now, keep it under control. [Read: How to handle rejection without making a fool of yourself]

3. Don’t take it personally

Let’s say you met this girl at a bar, and you tried to hit on her. She rejected you. Can you blame her for rejecting you?

She doesn’t know anything about you, but she’s rejecting what you’re presenting her.

Now, if she’s known you for a while and she rejects a move you make on her, she obviously doesn’t see you being a successful match. [Read: How to get a girl to notice you even before talking to her]

4. Understand that no two women are the same

There are no two women the same. Some women love cheesy pickup lines while other girls don’t. Your approach may work for one girl, but it won’t necessarily work for every girl.

Work on your approach and understand how to alter it depending on the woman you’re talking to.

5. Reflect on what you did

The only way you can gain more successes than rejections is to actually reflect on what happened. What did you say to her? How did you approach her?

Now, it could just be that you chose the wrong girl at the wrong time, but if you’re noticing you’re getting rejected often, ask yourself why. That’s one of the most proactive ways to learn how to respond when a girl rejects you. [Read: 25 honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real you inside]

6. Leave your ego at the door

If you let your ego get in the middle of this, you’re going to say things that hurt the both of you. After you get rejected, you should shrug it off. You can laugh, pretend to cry, shrug your shoulders, and continue to the next girl.

If you allow it to stick to you, you’ll put yourself in a negative mood, and that’s the end of the night for you. [Read: How to overcome the fear of rejection and just ask the girl out]

7. Know when she’s rejecting you

The worst thing that can happen is when you stick around longer then someone wants you to. Know the signs of when you’re being rejected. When you see the signs early enough, move on.

She’s going to reject you whether it’s in two minutes or ten minutes. Pull out before she rejects you, that way, you leave on a high note. And you changed the power tactics which may catch her attention.

8. Walk away with your head held high

We’ve seen some men get rejected or ignored and then hang around for a couple of minutes longer, thinking that maybe this chick will change her mind. Listen, if you get rejected, leave her area.

Don’t hang around with her or try to convince her otherwise. Her mind is made for now. You hanging around her will only make her decision stronger. [Read: She rejected you but still acts interested? Here’s how to read her mind]

9. Don’t bad-mouth her

If you’re wondering how to respond when a girl rejects you, here’s something you need to remember. We’ve seen guys get rejected and then retreat to their friends only to make a scene, pointing at her, laughing at her. Well, not only is this incredibly rude, but you’re also ruining your chances with other women.

You don’t think any of the other women notice this? They all see it and trust us, if you act like this, you’re going to keep getting rejected. Be classy and be respectful.

10. No begging

There’s nothing more humiliating than seeing someone beg for someone to go out with them. You may really like her or think she’s beautiful, but if she’s rejected you, don’t start begging. This isn’t going to go well for you.

Once she sees herself as someone above you, it’s over. Make sure she sees you as an equal. So, no begging! [Read: The gentleman’s guide to successfully asking out a woman]

11. Make a joke

Now, sometimes women will reject you by completely ignoring you. We’re sorry on behalf of all women, it really isn’t cool to do that. But now you see how immature she is, so also see it as a win.

After you get rejected, make a joke out of it if you can. Have a laugh, say something funny, and walk away. You don’t necessarily need to leave the scene with a bitter taste in your mouth. [Read: How to make a girl smile, laugh and like you instantly]

12. Don’t think all women are like this

We’ve seen some women reject men in terrible ways. But realize not all women are like this. There are some women who believe they’re better than everyone else and feel it’s okay to treat people like this, but this isn’t the majority.

If you approach a woman in a respectful way, most women will kindly decline the offer without being rude.

13. Remember it’s about numbers

You’ve probably looked for jobs before, but you know that to land one or two interviews, you must apply to literally hundreds of job postings. Well, it’s basically the same thing when approaching women.

It’s a numbers game. You can approach one girl and she may reject you. But approach ten girls and your odds of having a conversation or getting a number are significantly higher. [Read: How to be better at dating – 15 ways to enjoy every step of the way]

14. Tweak as you go along

As you continue to approach women, make small tweaks to your approach. Learn from each interaction and go from there.

That way, you develop a generally solid approach to women and become more comfortable. [Read: The subtle cues that will have you reading a woman’s mind]

15. See rejection as a learning opportunity

The only way to figure out if what you’re doing is right or not is through rejection. This is just the way we learn.

So, the best way to handle rejection is to understand that it’s going to happen whether you want it to or not. All you can do after that is change your tactics and learn from each rejection.

16. Allow yourself to grieve

If you really liked this girl and she rejected you, it’s going to hurt. Allow yourself the time you need to grieve and move on. Don’t push it before you’re ready and don’t feel like you need to shrug it off.

You feel how you feel. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

17. Don’t plot revenge

Whatever you do, don’t leave the interaction with all manner of plans for revenge. It’s not worth it. If she did reject you rather cruelly, well that’s her karma, not yours.

Trying to get some kind of revenge will only make you look petty and make her think that she was right to reject you in the first place.

18. Accept that it’s just not meant to be

We can’t be with everyone we like throughout our lifetimes. That’s just not how it works. Part of learning how to respond when a girl rejects you is understanding this fact and that maybe you and her just weren’t meant to be. [Read: Unreciprocated love – 25 ways to move on when love isn’t returned]

19. Know there is someone better around the corner

Once you’ve accepted that you just weren’t meant to be, you need to plant a positive thought – there is someone better just around the corner.

Who knows, the next girl you speak to maybe The One!

20. Offload on someone you trust

If you need to talk things through and get everything off your chest, speak to someone you trust. It’s far better to talk things through, rather than bottling up your emotions. At some point, they will burst out and cause you far more pain than before. [Read: How to express your feelings – 16 must-know ideas to speak your mind]

21. Distract yourself

Rather than sitting there wondering ‘why do girls reject me,’ keep your mind busy. Throw yourself in a new project or take on a new hobby. Go on vacation or arrange a night out with your friends.

Just do something that keeps your mind off the rejection and on more positive things.

22. Remember that it’s not the end of the world

We all get rejected at some point in our lives, often more than once. Life will continue and you will be fine. Remind yourself of this fact and keep it all in perspective.

Yes, you really liked her and she didn’t feel the same, but that doesn’t mean that the next girl you meet won’t be crazy about you. The world will continue turning! [Read: 8 small ways to deal with big changes in your life]

23. Move on at your own pace

It’s easy to have that ‘get back in the saddle’ mindset and assume you need to power through and move on to the next person. Not so. If you don’t feel ready to get back out there yet, you don’t need to.

Move on at your own pace and not when someone tells you that you need to.

24. Work on your non-romantic relationships

When you get rejected, it’s easy to take on the ‘doom’ mindset and assume that everyone hates you. That’s not true. You have plenty of friends and family around you, and now is the time to focus on those relationships instead.

The right person will come to you at the right time, but for now, have some fun. The plus point of this is that you never know who you might meet while you’re out there enjoying yourself with your friends. [Read: How to be a friend – The real art of true and meaningful friendships]

25. Show kindness in the face of rejection

Even though she rejected you, however she did it, you should show her kindness and respect. This gives you the upper hand and will boost your confidence once you can see clearly enough to look past the rejection.

You don’t know the reason why she rejected you and it could be something that’s not her fault either. But, by showing kindness you’re covering all bases and at some point in the future, maybe she’ll even change her mind. If you want her then, that is. [Read: How to be kind to yourself and others and love life instead of hating it]

Rejection happens to us all

Learning how to respond when a girl rejects you can be hard, but know that every single person on the planet has been or will be rejected at some point. It stings and in some cases it really hurts, but it’s part of life.

We can’t like every person who approaches us and there are a million things going on behind the scenes that you might not even know about. Rather than sitting there wallowing in your negative thoughts of ‘why do girls reject me,’ focus on the positives and distract your mind instead.

In time, you’ll see the bigger picture and you might even be glad it didn’t work out with that particular girl.

[Read: The 10 most important rules of being a gentleman]

Listen, the dating world can be harsh, but you don’t have to let it get you down. By knowing how to respond when a girl rejects you, you’re one step ahead already!

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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