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23 Reasons You Never Had a Girlfriend & Never Will Until You Fix Yourself

If you’ve never had a girlfriend, you probably can’t help but wonder why. So, here are some things that could be holding the ladies back from you.

never had a girlfriend

There are a ton of guys out there who have never had a girlfriend *and there are very obvious signs why some guys will never get a girlfriend too!*.

They walk around with all their friends who seem to be checking in with their lady friends and are left to question why it’s not them.

Some may act like they don’t care or don’t even want a girlfriend. But the truth is that many guys who haven’t been lucky enough to score an awesome gal think that there’s something wrong with them. They sit there and wonder what they’re doing wrong.

Are you doing something wrong that turns girls off? 

There are two kinds of guys who have never had a girlfriend. One, the guys who are busy or shy or awkward around women. And then, there are the fake “nice guys” who love telling everyone they’re so nice, and yet girls don’t date them.

*just FYI, if you ever have to tell a girl that you’re a NICE GUY and she should date you, we can assure you, you are not a genuinely nice guy!* [Read: The nice guy syndrome and 16 things nice guys do that pushes girls away]

Call them incels or just ignorant, there are usually very clear signs why a guy has never had a girlfriend. And usually, it has nothing to do with the world being unfair!

[Read: The 25 biggest dating turn offs for women]

Why you’ve never had a girlfriend

While we can’t pinpoint the exact reason you’ve never had a girlfriend, we can certainly come up with a few reasons as to why something is off.

Generally, here are the factors that may be inhibiting your girlfriend-catching skills.

1. You talk about how you’ve never had a girlfriend

Sorry, but if you’re telling a girl that you’ve never had a girlfriend, she will immediately begin wondering what is wrong with you. It’s involuntary. The second a girl hears that, her mind starts spinning, and it’s a turn-off.

It’s perfectly fine to have never had a girlfriend. Just don’t go around telling cute girls this, unless you’re purposely trying to evade their interest. A woman’s imagination is your worst enemy.

2. No confidence

Confidence is huge when it comes to women finding someone attractive. And by telling a girl that you’ve never had a girlfriend and just “can’t figure out why,” they can tell right away that you’ve already lost confidence in your ability to get one, and that’s just not attractive.

You need confidence to even ask a girl out in the first place. So pluck up the courage and try! Again and again, if necessary. [Read: 9 subtle differences between a confident and arrogant man]

3. You give away too much information

Women like mystery! By divulging your entire childhood and life problems in the very first conversation with her, you take away the girl’s excitement about getting to know you.

4. You don’t give away enough information

On the other hand, you might not give away enough information. Sure, she knows your first pet’s name and that your pet was run over by the neighbor, who then lied about it, but she doesn’t know your goals. She doesn’t know what your hobbies are.

These are really important factors that women want to know before making you their boyfriend. This is where you find similarities between the two of you. The other random information can wait until you’ve got her. [Read: 20 secrets to make a girl fall in love with you even before you ask her out]

5. You have no idea what women like

Maybe you’re just completely clueless. This is a very real possibility. You could just have no idea what women like and that is inhibiting you from getting one.

Knowing what women like can help you catch a gal and keep her! Read about women, or really listen when your female friends speak. Learn!

6. You don’t make yourself boyfriend material

Hello, friend zone! You may as well be king there. Women may not see you as a boyfriend because you don’t make yourself seem like one. Letting a girl dish about her latest crush and then giving her advice is not the way to go.

If she starts complaining or talking about another guy, don’t respond. Or better yet, tell her that he’s being an idiot and you would never treat a girl that way.

This makes her start picturing you with a girlfriend, and how you would act like a boyfriend. A woman’s imagination can also be your best friend! [Read: How to avoid a girl’s friend zone and make her want you instead]

7. You’re too picky

One problem you may have is being far too picky when it comes to the girls you want to date. You might have your standards set way too high and that’s why you can’t find “the one.”

If you’re thinking that there’s someone out there who is 100% everything you want, then you should just give up. That’s not real.

There are SO many amazing women out there that you’re blind to, just because she might like oatmeal and you think it looks like vomit. Come on. Broaden your horizons, dude!

8. You don’t date

How can you get a girlfriend if you don’t take a girl out on a date? If you think texting and Facebooking a woman is all you need to do to make yourself available, it’s obvious why you don’t have a girlfriend.

Dating is a crucial part of starting a relationship. It’s where the excitement is. It’s where the chemistry begins. You need to go on *actual, not cyber* dates with women.

9. You are clueless when it comes to flirting

Flirting is a quick way to make a girl know you’re interested in her. If you can’t flirt, how is she ever going to know that you’re interested?

It’s also a really fun way to build chemistry with someone. Practice makes perfect, so practice flirting! [Read: How to flirt with girls – 25 secrets and 41 lines to make any girl blush]

10. You can’t read signs

Maybe you just have no idea when a woman is interested in you and that inhibits your ability to ask her out and potentially make her your lady.

Laughing a lot around you is definitely a sign she’s interested. You can also ask some close girl friends how you can tell if a girl has an interest in you. [Read: 28 secret signs to tell if a girl likes you even if she’s playing it cool]

11. You blame women

“They’re all just crazy.” Ahem! Really?!

No! Women are not the problem—particularly if you’re the one who hasn’t had a girlfriend, but they have had boyfriends before. If you start blaming women for your inability to pick up a girl, you will constantly hold resentment toward them.

This will transfer from woman to woman and you will, subconsciously, be out of the game before it even starts. You’ll immediately have a mindset that says she won’t date you and that will change your personality and the way you treat her. Stop it!

12. You need to change your look

Let’s face it – girls like a guy who looks and smells good. So, if you have stringy hair or bedhead all the time, it’s time to get a stylish cut.

If you’re wearing stained t-shirts and jeans that are hardly washed, then get yourself a new wardrobe. Buy some cologne and wear it.

You need to look good and smell good to catch a girl’s eye. [Read: How to dress to impress a girl and get more than just a second glance]

13. You’re shy

A lot of guys are shy. And that’s okay – there’s nothing wrong with that. However, it doesn’t usually work in your favor when you are trying to find a girlfriend.

When you’re shy, you don’t really know what to say to girls. And it’s not a big turn-on for them because they like a guy they can talk to and who has confidence.

14. You don’t know how to talk to women

Women like to talk about emotions, feelings, and deep things. So, if you are only talking about sports or Dungeons & Dragons to girls, they will find you boring and tune out. You need to find topics that girls like and will keep them engaged.

15. You assume girls don’t like you

Because you’ve never had a girlfriend, you are probably insecure about it. And because of that, you just assume that girls won’t like you.

When you have that attitude, it gives off a sad vibe to them. You come across more like a sad, antisocial person everyone likes to avoid. [Read: Why don’t girls like me? 25 brutal reasons she’s just not into you]

16. You’re immature

You might like comic books and action figures and have them all over your place. But to girls, they see this as childish.

They don’t want to date a grown man who still has the mind of a little boy. And this can also include things like addiction to video games or other things that girls find immature. [Read: Immature men – 27 manchild signs and why girls stay away from them]

17. You’re a player

Maybe you can get girls to date you or sleep with you, but none of them want to be your girlfriend. So, if you’re scratching your head wondering why it could be because you’re a player.

Girls don’t like that. They want to feel like you think they are special. And when you come across as a player, they think that you look at them as just another random piece of meat.

18. You’re too nice

Now, there’s nothing wrong with being nice. In fact, it’s a great quality to have. But there’s a difference between being nice and being too nice.

When you’re too nice, then you become a doormat. You don’t have boundaries and then you come across as a little pathetic. Girls don’t like that. [Read: Nice guy syndrome – 16 things nice guys do and how to fix them ASAP]

19. You’re trying too hard

You feel desperate, so because of that, you might be trying too hard. It could be that you think you are saying and doing all the right things.

You might have even done your research about how to get a girlfriend. But girls can smell desperation a mile away. So you should try – just not too hard.

20. You push girls away

Maybe you do talk to a lot of girls, but they don’t ever seem to want to date you. Have you ever considered the fact that you could be emotionally unavailable and too standoff-ish?

She wants to emotionally connect with you. So, if you have some walls built up, you could be pushing girls away without knowing it.

21. You’re too available

Maybe you’re really good at talking to girls, and even engaging them via text. You could even hang out with them from time to time.

But if a girl knows that you are always available for her whenever she wants you, then that’s not attractive. They want to know that you have your own life and you’re not just sitting around waiting for her. [Read: Am I texting too much? 16 signs they think you’re a clingy texter]

22. You wear your emotions on your sleeve

You probably know that girls are emotional beings. They do like to express them to others and vice versa. However, if you’re too forthcoming with how you feel about her, that can be off-putting *especially if you two aren’t close enough to share such intimate details*.

If you are constantly complimenting her and telling her how great she is, then you should back off on that so you don’t reveal too much.

23. You’re too needy

When you think you’re in the talking stage with a girl, you might contact her way too much. If you’re always sending good morning and good night texts every day, that might be annoying for her if you are not her boyfriend.

After a while, she will get frustrated that you are bugging her too much. It makes you look needy. You shouldn’t chase girls too much.

[Read: 25 clear signs you need to back off when you’re pursuing a girl]

If you’ve never had a girlfriend, don’t worry. Even if you think you’re a catch, you probably are and don’t know it. Take a page from this book, get out there, and try again!

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...