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Chad Thundercock: 15 Reasons Why There’s No Reason to Envy Him

Sure, it seems awesome to sleep with every girl you can dream of, but Chad Thundercock is not the guy you want to be, and these are 15 reasons why.

Chad Thundercock

When I heard the name Chad Thundercock, I knew instantly that it wasn’t really a compliment, but in some way a compliment. So, after some investigation, I found out that Chad Thundercock is that guy in high school who was always with the prettiest girl, had about a million notches on his bedpost, and most importantly, had no idea how his awesomeness affected the other guys around him.

Chad Thundercock isn’t a name that you call to someone’s face. Rather, it is used to indicate that a guy is getting all the ass that he can possibly handle, and then some, while being completely oblivious that he is taking more than his fair share and pissing other guys off.

Okay, here is the tricky part, it is hard to not both hate and envy Chad Thundercock. I mean, as a guy, what could be better than just having to look at a girl to get in her pants?

15 reasons not to secretly want to be Chad Thundercock

There are many reasons that you don’t want to be Chad Thundercock, even if you secretly wish you were. Chad Thundercock is not all he is cracked up to be, and the results of a guy who can’t keep his dick in his pants over time aren’t pretty.

I can guarantee you that the guy who shows up for his twenty-year reunion isn’t the same guy who is walking around the halls with his shwang waving in the air.

Here’s why you don’t want to be Chad Thundercock.

#1 He has probably visited a few STD clinics in his day, and some of that shit follows you forever. Sleeping with lots of women seems like the most awesome thing ever, until you take with you more than just memories and good feelings.

If Chad is sleeping with lots of girls, eventually he is going to mess up and be with the wrong one. She is the one with a bouillabaisse of things that isn’t curable. [Read: 10 worst people you can have a one night stand with]

#2 Since success has always come naturally, as he ages, he doesn’t know how to keep up with maturity. Chad Thundercock is always the guy that you see at the reunion who looks like ten years older than anyone else.

Running around talking about “the good ole days” seems to be all he can do since that was his heyday. Never having to do anything to keep up, he didn’t ever keep up his good looks. In fact, he has let his ass go, BIG TIME.

#3 After he f*cks everyone over, where else is there to go? In any one location, there are only so many women to choose from. For the guy who is from a small town, once you have been with everything that moves, there isn’t anyone else left to sleep with.

Sure, it seems like an awesome thing to go around the block a couple of times, but then the block ends… and that’s the end of the ride.

#4 When girls get their heads on straight, they won’t touch Chad with a ten-foot pole… literally. Chad Thundercock will eventually be discovered, and his ride will end.

Once girls grow up and start to compare stories, they are going to put the pieces together and know that those guys are the type that you stay away from. Then it is bye, bye, Chad. [Read: 20 easy giveaways of a serial womanizer]

#5 He is likely to end up fat, and bald… yes, karma really is a bitch. We all have a “peak” time. Some of us peak early, while some of us have the ugly duckling syndrome.

Chad Thundercock might be at the pinnacle of his looks right now and able to get any chick he wants, but just remember, what goes up must come down. And, if this is his peak, it is all downhill from there.

#6 Throwing so much time into getting laid, he probably didn’t have much time to study. Chad doesn’t usually exude intelligence or aspire to be the CEO. That is just a fact.

Typically, too caught up in making the girls swoon, he thinks that he is going to have a free ride forever. Unfortunately, that isn’t the way that the world works. He isn’t going to earn six figures by sleeping his way to the top. [Read: Manchild alert – 23 clear signs you’re just an immature prick]

#7 He probably won’t ever have a stable relationship. Chad is jaded by his past experiences. If all he knows is scoring and using women, then there is probably some underlying problem there that will keep women at an arm’s length forever.

You can be satisfied that when you are in your later years, you will find someone to settle down with, and, even if you didn’t have sex every day of your life in your twenties, you will have someone to go home to who loves you unconditionally.

#8 If someone does finally tame him, he is going to be someone’s bitch for life. Mr. Thundercock is looking for the woman who says no to him. He secretly wants that girl who will stand up to him and make him work to get her, and her attention.

But, that poor son of a bitch has no idea that the woman that he will finally be tamed by will be a bitch to him for life. Chad normally ends up in a female-led relationship in life if or when he finds the “one.” [Read: Female led relationship – 50 signs you’re stuck in one and don’t know it]

#9 He has to look all those girls in the eye at some point, and there will be a day of reckoning. Chad might think that sleeping with everyone now is an awesome idea. But, someday he will grow up, mature, and maybe even have little girls and will have to live with what he did to so many women left in his sexual wake.

There is always a day of reckoning when the past comes back to haunt you.

#10 He probably has no idea how to be good in bed, because he doesn’t have to. Chad Thundercock thinks he is awesome in bed, but the truth is that he probably has no idea how to please a woman.

When a woman adores Chad, she doesn’t care that he is awful in bed, she is just so happy to have scored him. Going from one girl to the next who tells him that he is awesome in bed when he probably isn’t, won’t do anything for his sexual greatness. [Read: Bad in bed? 10 subtle cues a woman gives you when you suck in the sack]

#11 He is the butt of many jokes and will continue to be infamous. How many times have you personally made fun of him behind his back? See, what he thinks of himself and what others think of him are two different things.

You can’t be that stupid and mess with that many people and think that at some point people aren’t going to look down on you and belittle you. They always will. Would you want to be the butt of jokes that way?

#12 He doesn’t have any real friends, and guys secretly hate him. Thundercock thinks that he is the big man on campus, but what he doesn’t know is that guys secretly hate him. I am not talking about random guys who are jealous of him or that he might piss off by sleeping with their girlfriend, I am talking about the people who he thinks are his best friends.

Chad isn’t real, and neither are his friendships, they just hang on him to try to get sloppy seconds.

#13 He probably isn’t getting half as much action as you think. Most Chads are more hype than real. The truth is that he is probably not getting as much sex as you think he is.

Being more of a legend in his own mind, don’t be surprised if what he is telling you about his sexual encounters aren’t always true, or if the myth, the legend, isn’t as real as you have been led to believe. [Read: How to get girls – 16 tricks that make you instantly likeable]

#14 You don’t climb the corporate ladder using your dick, but he’ll probably try. I said before that you can’t sleep your way up the corporate ladder, but Chad will probably try. Girls don’t normally work that way.

If you sleep with them, they don’t promote you; they demote you in their head. A guy probably isn’t going to get to the corner office by trying to bag his boss; he is probably going to be given a pink slip to hit the road.

#15 He will probably find out about some of his children just when it’s least convenient and with a Facebook friend request. There are consequences that Chad isn’t thinking about that are way more life altering than Chlamydia. One day, Chad is going to get a friend request from his long lost son or daughter. That isn’t something to envy!

Chad Thundercock has been around since civilization began, but he has just been called something else. From Gigolo to alpha male, he isn’t making any friends. It is difficult not to envy him for being able to have any girl he wants, but just like anything else, when you get everything you want, you don’t appreciate it.

When you find the right girl that makes you happy and will stick around to be your mate, then Chad Thundercock will be nothing more than someone that you talk about when the guys get back together to poke fun at.

[Read: How to be the hot guy – 20 rules for instant hotness]

Someday soon, girls will get it, and they will no longer want Chad Thundercock, but rather, someone who is real. So, hold on, you will get yours soon, and it will be the real thing.

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Julie Keating
A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined in...
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