Think you’re close, but your lady love feels distant? Chances are, you’re pushing her away without realizing it. Here are 12 signs you need to know.
You can never quite tell what a woman is thinking. A woman’s mind is so mysterious and fickle, countless songs and sonnets have been written about it. One moment, she’s sweet and thoughtful, the next, she’s quiet and distant. By dinner, she seems frisky and everything she does just turns you on, but when you walk up to her doorstep, you’re jolted back to earth by the door firmly closing, without so much as a goodnight kiss or a warning.
Was it something you did? Does your breath smell too much like garlic? Did you say something wrong? What was it this time?
12 signs you’re the one pushing her away
You may be wracking your brain in frustration as you try to look back at what you could have possibly said or done that suddenly turned her from the sweetest babe to a wicked witch. To put you out of your misery, check out this list of 12 ways you might be pushing her away without knowing it.
#1 You’re too nice. Women like nice guys, but not those who are way too nice. They love it when you adore them, make them feel at ease, and give them all your attention. You absolutely should laugh at their jokes and offer to drive them around town when they have errands.
However, being too nice sends the wrong message. They may feel like you’re not being sincere or that you’re just being nice because you only have one thing on your mind: to get into her pants. You may also come off as a little desperate. Whatever it is, no one wants to date someone who isn’t really being who they naturally are. [Read: 15 reasons why nice guys finish last all the time]
#2 You have low self-esteem. If you are confident, it will definitely radiate toward other people. Those around you will easily warm up to you. On the other hand, if you are not confident, it can also show through, and people will feel uneasy in your presence. No one wants to be around someone who has low, negative energy. To be more precise, no one wants to listen to your pity party the whole night—not even the person you’re dating. [Read: Build your self-esteem: 35 funny things to tell yourself]
#3 You’re self-centered. So, you don’t have low self-esteem. In fact, you’re so full of yourself that you might as well be going out with yourself. When the woman you’re dating asks how you are and you spend the rest of your dinner date talking about yourself and your accomplishments, you’re not gonna get any after dessert… because she will let you just go screw yourself. [Read: 8 helpful ways to stop being a self-centered person]
#4 You’re whining about everything. Nothing can make a party go poop faster than a party pooper—and that could be you, if you don’t do anything but whine and whine and whine. Imagine going out with your girl and complaining that your soup is not the right consistency. She may be fine with that. But then when the salad comes, you complain that it’s too soggy. She might let that pass, too. But when you continue whining about your entrée, your dessert, your wine, your waiter, the restaurant, and everything else around you, it will get on her nerves. No one wants to hear about how the whole world is against you. [Read: 13 annoying boyfriend habits and how to avoid them]
#5 You’re rude. As the saying goes, you are not a nice person if you are not nice to the waiter. This means you should be nice and show courtesy not only to the people you are with, but to those who are working and waiting on you as well. If you start mouthing off to the chef for serving you overcooked steak, just as you mouthed off to the valet and the receptionist, it not only embarrasses your date, but it will also make her wonder how you’ll treat her down the road.
#6 You don’t know how or when to listen. To be successful in a relationship, you must know when to talk and when to listen. Women judge you by how attentive you are, whether they say something or not. Again, women can be very confusing when they don’t say what’s on their mind. But when they do talk, you should listen… and listen closely. Otherwise, they may just up, leave, and look for someone who can lend his ears. [Read: 10 ways to be a better listener in your relationship]
#7 You’re a cheapskate. Women today are much more independent and are proud of it. They work for what they have, and although they do not expect you to be their sugar daddy, you shouldn’t make them pay for your dinner, either.
Women can judge men by how willing they are to take out their wallets. Therefore, don’t go Dutch when you’re still in the beginning of your relationship. Social science and biology will tell you that women love men who can protect and provide for them. So if you’re a sleaze in footing the bill, don’t expect her to hop into bed with you. [Read: 16 first date tips for guys to charm their date every single time]
#8 You’re too focused on sex. If you are going out with a girl and you pull out all the stops to treat her like a princess, only to expect her to put out immediately, you’re in for a disappointment. Focusing on sex too much in your dating life or in your serious relationship only shows your immaturity. Women will think you are not interested in them and are instead only interested in getting laid—which, of course, may be true.
#9 You’re checking out other women. This is something that you may do out of habit, so you may not realize you’re doing it until your date or partner calls you out. However, checking out other women while you’re out on a date with your girl is a big turn-off, not to mention a cause for a big fight.
Looking at or even ogling other women can cause her to lose either her temper or her self-esteem. Either way, this is a big no-no, because the last thing she needs is to be with a potential philanderer. [Read: 24 worst things a guy can ever say or do on a first date]
#10 You’re talking about your exes. Women aren’t generally as competitive as men, so if you think she’ll make an effort to be the best girlfriend you want her to be by talking about how your ex used to do this or that, you’re absolutely wrong. Women don’t want to go out with someone with extra baggage. Besides, all your loud musings about how your ex cooked you a delicious turkey for Thanksgiving isn’t going to make her cook you an even better turkey. Instead, she might break up with you right there and then. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding you back]
#11 You don’t make her a priority. Women may demand a lot of things from you, but once you hit the right buttons, you’re set for life. If you are serious about a girl, you should make her a priority. If you don’t have time for a serious relationship, don’t start one. If you can’t give your girl enough time, then this will become a problem, and she’ll start moving away. Who wants to be with someone who feels like a ghost in the relationship? No one.
#12 You don’t really know much about women. If you don’t know what she likes and what ticks her off, she’s better off being single or dating someone else. If you won’t make an effort to get to know women and what makes them tick, then every woman in your life will pass you by. After all, they don’t expect you to be a mind reader, you just need to put in a little more effort so you’re not clueless.
[Read: 23 things girls wish guys knew about girls]
Now that you know how you may be pushing women away, you may want to rethink your behavior. If you really do care about her, you won’t mind making a few adjustments and compromises so you can try to get her back—and keep her for good.
