If you want to have a strong and happy relationship, you need to know how to be a great boyfriend. At the moment, are you really boyfriend material?
Being in a relationship is awesome. Maintaining a relationship is another thing altogether. Although a lot of women are now more assertive and dominant, the rest are still guided by the idea that guys need to adhere to some sort of standard for boyfriends. In that case, the men have no choice but to step up and turn themselves into boyfriend material.
The problem is, what one person deems to be boyfriend material, might not be enough for someone else! There’s no way to determine which particular type of boyfriend works for any one person, but it’s possible to be as close to ideal boyfriend material by making a few changes. [Read: How to be a good boyfriend – 33 traits that’ll make you a great one]
Once you’re in that category, your chances of finding a partner will start to look more promising than when you weren’t boyfriend material. Makes sense, right?
But before you start telling people that you’ve decided to become someone’s boyfriend, do you have any idea what it means to be boyfriend material in the first place?
What makes you boyfriend material?
Simply put, someone who is boyfriend material has the capacity to be an effective boyfriend. For transparency’s sake, an effective boyfriend is someone who embodies these three major traits. [Read: How to be the best boyfriend you can be and better yourself overnight]
1. Loyalty
A boyfriend needs to be someone trustworthy. It’s not just about being monogamous. Your partner should be able to trust you with their physical and emotional well-being.
2. Attractiveness
Attraction is subjective. Your partner needs to be attracted to you – not just physically, but also emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.
3. Compassion and empathy make you boyfriend material
This is where love comes in. You can’t be someone’s boyfriend if you’re not willing to let people in. Share your feelings, empathize with your partner, and do what you can to connect. [Read: How to develop empathy and master the art of growing a real heart]
But you already have these traits! Why are you still not boyfriend material? It’s probably because having those traits isn’t enough. You have to put them in action, and it’s not easy, considering there are so many things that you need to do as a boyfriend.
This could also mean that you have non-boyfriend material traits. There are also traits that make you incapable of being a boyfriend, let alone a good one. [Read: The way to a woman’s heart is through her funny bone]
What doesn’t make you boyfriend material?
The following traits are those which many women consider to be major turn offs, and should therefore be shed from your personality, if at all possible.
1. Indecisiveness
Before you can become a good boyfriend, you need to know what you want first. Are you ready to be in a relationship? What type of person are you looking for? Knowing these things is necessary, in order to become a good boyfriend.
2. Insecurity
You can’t be in a healthy relationship if you don’t think much of yourself. Your insecurities will reflect on the way you handle your side of the relationship, thereby ruining your chances of getting together with the girl you like.
3. You’re not boyfriend material if you’re selfish
Selfish people are the ones who worry more about how people perceive them, rather than how they should treat those that they care about. They also count favors, measure affection, and resent people who don’t live up to their expectations. How can you be a caring boyfriend if you embody this type of trait? [Read: What men think impresses women and what actually does]
4. An ego
Everyone has an ego to a degree, but there is a big difference between confidence and arrogance. You’re not going to become boyfriend material if you’re constantly showing off and trying to tell everyone how amazing you are. Tone down the ego and you’ll notice that you’re more able to actually have compassionate conversations with people, who connect with you more easily.
5. An inability to be honest doesn’t make you boyfriend material
You’re not going to find yourself in a long-term relationship if you can’t help but tell lies. You might think that they’re nothing more than harmless white lies, but a lie is a lie. The moment someone starts to doubt, you everything is downhill from there. Trust is vital in a relationship and lies can easily erode away at that. [Read: Why do men lie? Understanding why men fib the way they do]
How to become the perfect boyfriend material and find the perfect partner
We can’t exactly enumerate a step-by-step cheat sheet for you to become boyfriend material, but we do have some helpful hints that will take you one step closer to forming a special bond with someone you really like. Remember, everyone likes slightly different things, but overall, these are the traits you should look to develop within yourself. [Read: How to be a better boyfriend – 28 ways to make her feel lucky in love]
1. Be intuitive
Intuition and sensitivity are your most effective assets in becoming boyfriend material. Knowing where you stand can go a long way to becoming a good boyfriend.
2. Be selective
Be a good boyfriend to a good girlfriend. Avoid abusive, opportunistic, and close-minded people who will only ruin your positive outlook in life. If you’re already in that type of relationship, do your best to help your partner deal with their problems. Get out of a relationship if your efforts aren’t making a difference. [Read: 15 types of bad girlfriends who’ll make your life hell]
3. You’re boyfriend material if you’re always honest
A relationship won’t work if it’s based on lies. We understand that there are some things that are better left unsaid, but lying won’t help make them disappear. Sooner or later, the truth will come out. If it doesn’t, the weight of your dishonesty might affect your relationship.
4. Be polite
Even though you’re in a relationship, it does not give you a free pass to treat your partner horribly. No matter what situation you are in, treat them with the utmost respect, and ask them to do the same for you.
5. Be chivalrous
Being a good boyfriend requires you to perform at least the most rudimentary forms of chivalry. Opening a door for your partner, paying the bill on the first date, or just offering to do small chores that you know you’re more physically capable of are some of the ways you can be more chivalrous.
6. Act like a gentleman
Do what society expects you to do – in the context of dating, that is. Make the first move, call her first, pick her up, escort her home, or put your jacket over a puddle. We’re kidding with that last one, but you see where we’re going with this. [Read: 13 rules of etiquette for the modern gentleman]
7. Be generous to show you’re boyfriend material
If you want to shower her with gifts, go ahead, but being generous isn’t just about material things. Be generous with your affection, your attention, and your love. Don’t be shy about giving everything you’ve got. The rewards more than make up for it.
8. Be a little daring
Even men have insecurities when it comes to dating. Throw those out the door and be confident about the fact that you are boyfriend material. Any girl would be lucky to have you! So go out, talk to the girl of your dreams, and make it happen.
9. Be assertive when you need to be
Don’t be complacent. The ones who don’t go after what they want always end up losing. That’s what they say about “nice” guys, right? So, don’t be a nice guy. Be an awesome, all-around, good guy. [Read: 12 ways to transform from the nice guy to a real man]
10. Be open to compromise
To be a good boyfriend, you have to know when to back down from a fight. You don’t even have to fight at all. Just talk things through, and communicate your wants and needs to your partner. Make sure you consider hers, too.
11. Be spontaneous occasionally
Protocols and patterns can be boring, sometimes. Do things differently just to spice things up. Good boyfriends know when to have fun and when to take chances. Just don’t do anything illegal or dangerous, ‘kay? [Read: 25 signs and qualities that make the best boyfriends in the world]
12. Don’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side
Stop putting up walls just because you’re afraid of getting hurt. Your partner might be feeling the same way, so be the bigger person, and open yourself up to that person. Seeing you do that may urge them to open up to you more as well.
13. Be loving
Need we say more? [Read: 20 easy ways to make your girlfriend incredibly happy]
14. Be gracious
If you embody all these characteristics and attitudes, but still can’t get a girlfriend, don’t fret! That just means that the person you thought you liked isn’t a good match for you. You don’t want to force someone to like you just because you want them to, right?
15. Be vigilant
Don’t give up so easily. If someone rejects you, you can always find someone who will appreciate you for being the awesome boyfriend that you are. [Read: Top 9 reasons guys get rejected by the girls they want]
16. Be a good listener
Far too many guys just don’t listen. Don’t just hear the words and let them go back out of your ears, make sure that you pay attention and listen to what your partner is telling you.
17. Have your partner’s back
Never let anyone diss or upset your partner without sticking up for them. It’s your basic duty as a boyfriend to have your partner’s back at all times. Even if they’re wrong, you’re on their side and you tell them about it in private!
18. Apologize when you need to
Don’t be the guy who never says ‘sorry’ when he’s wrong. That’s just going to lead to more fights and a huge wedge between you. If you’ve messed up, apologize. That’s one thing that makes you boyfriend material. [Read: How to apologize and say sorry to a lover]
19. Make your partner a priority
Many guys forget to make their partner a priority in their lives. They perhaps don’t mean tot do so, but spending too much time with the guys and forgetting about date night is a major no-no.
20. Be independent to show you’re boyfriend material
A needy guy isn’t boyfriend material. A guy who is independent and knows what he wants out of life is sexy, but only if he’s also someone who knows he has to let his guard down when he’s with his partner. The mixture of independent and vulnerable makes for the perfect boyfriend.
[Read: How to have a good relationship that gets better with each day]
Becoming boyfriend material is not just about performing specific duties. It is also about being a good person, and being able to show love to someone who needs and deserves it.
