15 Real Reasons Why She’s Not Emotionally Ready for a Relationship

You may be ready for a relationship, but who says she is? You just weren’t watching out for the signs she’s not emotionally ready for a relationship.

she's not emotionally ready for a relationship

I can already see some men’s shock at the title. What do you mean she’s not emotionally ready for a relationship?! This isn’t a movie, fellas. She’s not just going to forget the man she’s been dating for five years and jump happily into your arms. Okay, she may jump into your arms, but that doesn’t mean she’s emotionally ready for a relationship.

You want a girl who’s going to be in a relationship with you for you, right? Right. There’s no other answer to that question or else it would just be casual sex, but it’s not, it’s something more serious.

How to tell she’s not emotionally ready for a relationship

We all tend to like other people who appear to be emotionally unavailable. Okay, maybe I’m speaking from experience. Back in the day, I loved chasing people who were emotionally unavailable. It was like cracking a code. [Read: The signs you only like emotionally distant women]

Listen, it never worked for me. In the end, I was the one left broken and insecure. Why chase her if she’s not emotionally ready for a relationship? If you’re constantly liking emotionally unavailable people—are you actually ready for a relationship?

Seriously, don’t waste your time. Look for these signs she’s not emotionally ready for a relationship.

#1 She told you. If she’s told you, well, that’s great. It’s important they’re straight up with you about their needs and desires.

Now, the problem is you’re trying to change their mind. Why? If she tells you she’s not ready, she’s not ready. This isn’t a hint for you to chase her, it’s a hint for you to back off. [Read: This is how to respect women]

#2 You always reach out to her. You’re the one always texting and calling first. She’ll talk to you normally, but she’s never the first one to make a move. She’s trying to create a healthy space between you, and that’s for a good reason. She doesn’t want it getting any more serious than it already is. [Read: The hidden signs of a one-sided relationship we all choose to ignore]

#3 She doesn’t tell anyone about you. You may have been dating, but no one around you knows. Why? She doesn’t want people to know. She wants to maintain the idea that she’s still single. If she really liked you, your face would be plastered all over her social media, but she’s keeping this relationship as a stepping stone for something better. [Read: 13 signs you’re being used by a woman who’s walking all over you]

#4 She’s flaky. Do you think if she really liked a guy she would be canceling and flaking out on dates? There’s no way a woman will cancel a date with a guy she really likes. And if she does, she has a real reason for doing so. If she’s flaky, she’s not giving 100% into the relationship, and that’s a sign it’ll never become anything more.

#5 She’s not reliable. Though you want her to be the person you can call when something good or bad happens, she’s not really there. You usually end telling your best friend or mom about your accomplishments and when you tell her, she’s not overly excited. If someone has a real interest in you, they’ll be right there wanting to know more.

#6 She talks a lot about being “free.” She’ll mention to you she wants to be in an open relationship or that she loves her freedom. These aren’t words you’d use when you’re dating someone you really like. Whether she’s scared or not interested in a relationship, she’s not looking for anything serious. 

#7 No talks about the future. When someone wants to be with you, they’ll mention doing things with you in the future. But she avoids it like the plague. She doesn’t ask about your summer plans or what you’re doing for Christmas. She’s not interested in the future with you, her main focus is what’s happening in the present. [Read: 16 signs she is falling in love with you and wants something serious]

#8 You feel like she’s not exclusive. When a woman loves a man, she’s usually wanting to commit with him *not all women*. When you’re with her though, she’s looking at her phone, texting. It’s like she’s giving her attention to someone else. If you don’t feel like you’re her number one, then you’re not.

#9 She just wants to have sex. You want to go on a date with her, but she just wants to meet up at your place. It could be she’s tired or it could be because she’s not interested in spending a lot of time with you outside of the bedroom. [Read: Is she serious or just playing with your heart?]

#10 She doesn’t want to meet your friends. You’ve invited her out with your friends, and maybe she’s gone once or twice, but other than that, she doesn’t show interest in going out with you.

See, that’s not a good sign. If a woman wants to get to know you, she’ll spend time around your friends and not run away from the opportunity.

#11 She invests very little time with you. You see her once a week, maybe twice, but that’s about it. She doesn’t want to spend too much time with you. Maybe she does, but if she doesn’t tell you this, then probably not. She doesn’t want to give you her time because she doesn’t see you as someone serious to be with.

#12 She still uses dating apps. If you took a peek at her phone while she was using it next to you, you may have seen a Tinder or Bumble icon. That’s not for show, she’s probably using them. If she still has dating apps on her phone, she’s not wanting anything serious with you.

#13 You don’t know much about her. You want to, but she keeps her lips pretty sealed. Her mouth… not the other lips. When a woman likes a guy, she’ll open herself up to him to create a bond, but she doesn’t tell you anything personal about herself. Most of her conversations are shallow and she tends to keep it that way.

#14 She introduces you as a friend. Do you think if you were really in a relationship she would call you a friend? No way. If she’s introducing you as a friend and you’ve seen all these other signs, she’s not wanting anything serious. Or she’s waiting for you to talk about it *but I doubt it*. [Read: The sure signs she’s ready to get serious with you]

#15 She avoids “the talk.” You want to have “the talk” with her, but she’s dodging it. If you have to corner her into having the talk then it’s clear she’s not interested in anything more. I would still try to have “the talk” with her so you can know where you stand with her.

[Read: How to know who’s dating material vs a hookup]

Most people think men are the only ones looking for casual sex, but don’t be fooled. Women aren’t necessarily looking for a wedding ring. Sometimes she’s not emotionally ready for a relationship and there’s nothing you can do about it but walk away.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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