How to Start a Text Conversation With a Girl: 20 Rules to Impress Her

It’s nerve wracking to text a girl, especially one you like. If you’re wondering how to start a text conversation with a girl, here’s what you should know.

how to start a text conversation with a girl

Knowing how to start a text conversation with a girl can do wonders for your dating life. Long gone are the days where you have to talk to the girl you like face-to-face. When you meet someone you like, you get her number, and find the nerve to text her!

The hard part isn’t actually texting her, but it’s getting her to stay interested in texting you. Understanding how to start a text conversation with a girl is modern dating 101. Starting with small talk will bore her out of her mind, but starting intense questions will flip her out.

So, how do you find the balance? What’s the real secret on how to start a text conversation with a girl?

[Read: The first text to a girl – 19 flirty examples to leave her smiling]

Why is it important to know how to start a text conversation with a girl?

If you know how to start a text conversation with a girl, then you’ll be a natural at getting them to stay engaged in a conversation with you.

A lot of first dates depend entirely on how well your texting conversation goes. Some girls stop talking to you entirely just because a text conversation doesn’t go as well as they hoped!

This doesn’t just mean knowing all the right things to say but actually keeping her on her toes. The minute you know how to start the conversation without being awkward about it, the rest will follow. In fact, a lot of text conversations depend entirely on how you start texting them.

After all, first impressions do make a powerful impact. You wouldn’t want the girl you like to think negatively just because you started the text conversation badly, would you?

[Read: 18 casual things to text a girl you like and leave her addicted to you]

How to start a text conversation with a girl – The right steps

Before you text her ‘hi’ and completely ruin your chances of getting a first date, how about we figure out how to start a text conversation with a girl.

Maybe we’re putting too much pressure on this, but if you do it right, you’ll have her hooked within the first couple of messages.

You need something that guarantees a reply and let’s face it, you won’t get that with a simple ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ unless she’s waiting for you text already! [Read: What to text a girl you just met to ensure she texts you back]

1. Who is she to you?

How do you know this girl? Is she a friend you lost contact with, did you just meet her at a bar/club or did you get her number from a friend? If she’s a friend, then use your friendship as a setting stone in texting her. There’s no need to get all formal around starting a text if this is the case.

If she’s a stranger, then you need a catchy starter to really grab her attention. For example, if you know her from way back, you can easily start the conversation by saying, “knock, knock…” or “I saw your pictures from South America, it looks amazing!” [Read: How to text a girl you like and make her want you]

2. What not to say

Okay, so if you’re really not sure how to start a text conversation with a girl, here’s what you shouldn’t say. Don’t say, “hi,” “what’s up?””how are you?” if this is the first time you’re texting her. Just don’t!

These are dead-end conversation starters you really won’t get much from.

This is why when you say hi to someone over text, you rarely get an enthusiastic reply back. Again, keeping her engaged is the key if you want to know how to start a text conversation with a girl. [Read: 25 fun and cute ways to say ‘hi’ in a text message]

3. Spark her curiosity

You want to spark her interest in you and get her talking. Depending on how you met her, say something about the club you two were at, something she posted on Facebook, or anything else that can get the conversation going.

You’ll find that the most interesting conversation starters are those with either humor or wit in them. If you’re not naturally a funny guy, don’t force it, it’s going to flop. [Read: How often should you text a girl? 17 must-know rules of texting]

4. Keep the texts short

No one, man or woman, likes reading an essay on their phone. Keep it to a minimum. There’s no need to text her an entire paragraph to get her attention. If you want her to stay interested, be direct, to the point, and keep your texts short.

You should also take note to keep your texts in line with the same length as hers. This means if she texts just two lines, don’t respond with way more than that. If she’s only replying with one or two words, well, then maybe she’s not as interested as you thought. [Read: 11 realistic reasons why she isn’t responding to your texts]

5. Go easy on the smiley faces

You’re not ten years old. Of course, you can use them, but try to use them sparingly. Smileys also refer to emojis, by the way! Keep them to a minimum as you wouldn’t want to push her away with your overly enthusiastic texts.

There’s an exception to this rule – you can use smileys regularly if she’s the type to text with them. Again, match her energy.

6. If she doesn’t reply, don’t text her right away

If she’s not replying in the timely fashion that you want, texting her again and again, won’t get her to reply any faster. In fact, most girls would see that as a red flag!

While clingy can be cute, it can also be very annoying. Especially if she doesn’t know you yet, this act of desperation can lead her to avoid texting you entirely.

Keep your cool when texting her and don’t chase her no matter what. If she doesn’t reply, you can always try again tomorrow or a few days later. [Read: What to text a girl – Dos, don’ts and all the secrets to know]

7. Don’t tell her you like her

If you’re texting her your deepest feelings about her, just put that in your saved drafts and leave it in there. Forever. Especially if you just started texting her, you wouldn’t want to creep her out with your feelings.

If you want to know how to start a text conversation with a girl, don’t confess your feelings *at least, not over text and not right away*. There’s a time and place for everything!

8. Keep the questions open-ended

If they’re not open-ended, she may reply just with “yeah” or “lol.” Make sure that the questions you ask aren’t the kind that ends with a yes or no answer. Get creative, don’t ask questions like whether they have siblings, but ask questions like what their passions are or what they’re interested in.

Make sure the questions can be answered in a couple of sentences, that way, it’ll get her talking and the conversation flowing. [Read: Make her yours – The right way to flirt with a girl over text]

9. Is she asking you questions?

Make sure that she’s asking you questions. It’s a good sign that she’s interested in you. This isn’t something you force, but you’ll naturally get there.

If she’s the only one answering questions, well, then it’s sounding very one-sided right now, so it’s best to back off and see if she initiates anything. [Read: Dry texting – The real meaning behind those one word text replies]

10. Go easy on the sexual innuendo

This is probably the fastest way to get a girl not just to stop talking to you, but to block your contact from their phone. The last thing a girl wants is to feel objectified and disrespected by a guy trying to chat her up. If you want to know how to start a text conversation with a girl, dial down on the sexual innuendo.

You can flirt with her, but only after she’s comfortable texting you. Otherwise, be prepared to be blocked and ignored if you push through with your sexual innuendos.

11. At least pretend that you’re busy

If you’re always sitting on the couch playing video games, that doesn’t sound like a turn-on. Try your best to have something going on in your life.

Maybe you’re busy working out or spending time on a new hobby. This will interest her far more than just saying you’re playing video games all day. [Read: What do girls like in a guy? 30 qualities that make a guy a real catch]

12. She’s not your grandma

If you find yourself starting to ask her questions that you would ask someone over the age of 70, stop. Take a break and refresh. If it’s like this again, well, maybe you two don’t connect as you hoped.

Talk about the things that would interest you if the situation was reversed. We’re willing to bet if someone texted you about the weather, it would be a hard pass.

13. Know when it’s time to end the conversation

Conversations aren’t meant to last forever. It’s okay if the conversation dies out. Honestly, you met her once, so, don’t be so hard on yourself. Realize you can always try again the day after or maybe next week.

You don’t always have to talk 24/7, and that’s pretty normal. If you force the conversation to continue, it ends up being dull and somewhat painful to sit through. [Read: 15 easy things to text a girl and make her love texting you]

14. Stay social media light

If you two are just starting to text each other and you also have each other on Facebook and/or Instagram, this doesn’t mean now you have the green light to like every post and photo for the past two years. Be cool.

It’s also not an excuse to stalk their social media, including everything in their past. You might end up scaring her if you know everything in her life before she has a chance to tell you! [Read: 18 really obvious signs that a girl likes you over text]

15. Ask her out

If the conversation is dying or it’s come to that point in time where you feel it’s time to ask her out, do it. After all, this is the end goal for knowing how to start a text conversation with a girl. You keep her interested enough in texting to ask her out on a date. What do you have to lose?

So, you can say, “we should go for coffee” or “I know you want to see ___ movie, let’s go see it this weekend.” The best part? She’ll say yes to that date! The worst part? Rejection, but at least you tried. [Read: How to ask a girl out over text – 7 quick steps to a definite YES]

16. Just do it

Honestly, the more youplay it cool while texting a girl, the more she’ll get tired of waiting for your text *if she’s expecting your text, that is*.

The best way to know how to start a text conversation with a girl is to just go ahead and text her! The more you overthink what to say, the more likely you’ll sabotage any chance of connecting with her.

17. Don’t make the conversation dry

While you shouldn’t overly use emojis or smileys, that doesn’t mean you should make the conversation too dry! The last thing a girl wants when texting someone is a dry conversation.

Make sure you keep her interested the best way you can. Make her laugh, send her memes, ask her interesting questions, and think of interesting topics! [Read: How to not be a boring texter & keep your crush interested]

18. Compliment her

You can never go wrong with compliments when texting with a girl. Especially if you met at a bar or that bookstore around the corner, a compliment will catch her attention. Just make sure you don’t go overboard with the compliments and make it sound sincere! [Read: The best compliments for girls – 20 genuine lines she’ll love to hear]

19. Share things about yourself

To avoid making it a one-sided conversation, be sure to not make things all about her. Otherwise, she’s going to feel like she’s in the hot seat and that you’re just interviewing her!

Conversations go both ways, so if you really like this girl or want to get to know her, make it a mutual conversation. You don’t have to get too personal, but share things about yourself too!

20. Ask her interests

Finding a common ground will be the best thing for your texting conversation. If you want to know how to start a text conversation with a girl, find something you’re both interested in.

Maybe you’re both interested in the same movies or shows, you can use that to keep the conversation going.

[Read: How to get a girl to like you over text so you can make her yours]

So, how to start a conversation with a girl?

When you know how to pique a girl’s interest, then it’s easy as pie! Just be yourself and think of a witty conversation starter along with these tips above, and you’ll keep her on her toes. And make her want more!

[Read: How to tell a girl you like her over text casually without being pushy]

Now that you know how to start a text conversation with a girl, you have no excuse but to practice. If you keep this up, you never know, you can even get her to say yes to a first date real soon!

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