How to Handle a Girlfriend that Takes You for Granted & Change Her

You really love your girlfriend, but you’re wondering how to handle a girlfriend that takes you for granted. It’s time to bring equality into the mix.

how to handle a girlfriend that takes you for granted

You do everything for your girlfriend. She’s on the highest pedestal. And though that sounds amazing, you’ve started wondering how to handle a girlfriend that takes you for granted.

Listen, it’s easy to take someone you love for granted. When they’re doing everything for you, you forget to give back. Now, not all people are like this, but I was like this.

In all honesty, I’m still like this. I love my partner, but sometimes I take his actions for granted. He’ll go above and beyond to take care of me and make sure I’m happy, but I don’t reciprocate. And this caused a lot of problems for us. Why? Because I was selfish. It’s that simple. [Read: These worrying signs say you’re being taken for granted in your relationship]

How to handle a girlfriend that takes you for granted

Is your girlfriend an evil person? No, she’s not. But it does mean she’s a wee bit selfish. This doesn’t mean you need to end the relationship, but you should show her where the line is. And perhaps even get her to change her views and actions.

You can do this; it is going to take work though. The hard work isn’t going to come from you nagging her about how she’s selfish. The hard work is going to come from focusing on yourself. That’s right. Because right now, you’re fueling her behavior and that needs to stop.

So, if you want to know how to handle a girlfriend that takes you for granted, here’s how. No one wants to be taken for a ride.

#1 Learn to say no. Ah yes, this is a big one. If your girlfriend is taking advantage of you, you never say no. I already know this. You say yes all the time, and try your best to please her. Right? I’m totally right. See, that’s not helping you. If anything, it’s doing the opposite and making things worse. Say no when you want to say no. Sure, she’ll be pissed, but she’ll get over it. [Read: Learn how to say no and stop always pleasing people]

#2 Don’t neglect your feelings. If you’re upset or angry by her behavior, acknowledge your feelings and understand why you’re feeling this way. More importantly, you need to talk to her about it. Seriously, you cannot have these feelings inside of you without talking about it with your partner.

#3 Please yourself. You need to take care of yourself before anyone else. Spend time practicing self-care. If you like going for walks, go for daily walks. If you enjoy reading, read all the books you want. Or if you want to handle a girlfriend that takes you for granted or who’s taking advantage of you, you need to put yourself first. 

#4 Do your own thing. You have hobbies, right? There are things you like to do outside of being with your girlfriend? The answer is probably yes. And if it is yes, then you need to do your hobbies. If you don’t, it’s time to get some hobbies. Show your partner that you’re independent, and you have your own pleasures. [Read: Selfish people – 15 ways to spot them and stop them from hurting you]

#5 Spend time with your friends. This is a mistake many men make when having a girlfriend. They completely ditch their friends and stick to their girlfriend like glue. Don’t make this mistake. You need to show your girlfriend that you have a life outside of her. If not, you’ll create a dependent relationship, and no one wants that.

#6 Act on your words. If you talk to her about how you feel or tell her that you’re making some changes, you need to follow through on your words. If not, she’ll never take you seriously. Whatever you say you’re going to do, act on it.

 #7 Don’t cancel plans for them. If you have plans with your friends, and your girlfriend calls to hang out, don’t bail on your prior plans. Show your partner that you have a life. You have friends, and when you make plans with them, you keep them. You can’t drop everything for her when she snaps her fingers. [Read: Putting too much effort into the relationship and where to draw the line]

#8 Be the example you want them to be. If you want her to change, you need to be the example you want her to be. She’s not going to learn unless you teach her. Sometimes people are in their own heads, not looking at the things around them. Teach her what partner you’re looking for.

#9 Let them make the first move. You’re always the one to make a move, but when you don’t do anything, there’s no action. That’s because she’s used to you doing everything for her. Instead of being the one to initiate things, let her take the wheel. If it’s date night, she can set things up. If she’s feeling frisky, she can make the first move. 

#10 Let your partner ask for help. You shouldn’t run here and there for your partner like you’re a chicken with your head cut off. If your partner needs help, they can ask you. Though doing things for your partner without asking is great, she’s obviously taking it to an extreme. Let her come to you if she needs something, don’t run to her. [Read: Don’t ignore these signs of manipulation in a relationship] 

#11 Create personal boundaries. No one likes making boundaries, but when they are created everything flows better. You need personal boundaries. Everyone needs them. And your girlfriend needs to know your limits. She can’t walk all over you, it’s not possible. There’s a limit you have before your own happiness is affected. Figure out where the line is and don’t budge. [Read: 15 rules you must set to create healthy boundaries in a relationship]

#12 Make yourself a priority. You love your girlfriend, but she’s not the priority in your life. You need to be number one in your life. She can be second or third; it doesn’t matter. But at the end of the day, you’re the only person who’s going to take care of you. She also needs to see that you love yourself and will do things to make her happy, but there’s a limit.

#13 Treat yourself. If you’re doing everything on this list, good for you! It’s a lot of work, and you’re probably a little exhausted. Self-care isn’t easy, and it’s important to treat yourself along the process. If not, you’ll become discouraged and give up on this. At the end of the day, this isn’t a battle against your girlfriend. You’re learning how to respect yourself and gain respect from others. [Read: How self-respect affects you and your relationship]

#14 Practice makes perfect. You’re going to need to practice. This isn’t going to be easy. Your girlfriend has you wrapped around her finger pretty tightly, and you’re feeling squeezed. But going against the grain isn’t as easy as it sounds. It’ll take lots of practice on your side.

#15 Talk to them. You need to talk to your partner. If she’s your girlfriend, then you should feel comfortable enough to tell her how you’re feeling and what’s going on. If you’re not able to talk to her, is this really a relationship you want to be in? [Read: How to spot the signs of a bad girlfriend instantly]

#16 Make a choice. If you’re doing all these things and she’s not making any changes, take the next step. I know you like her, maybe even love her, but at some point, you need to decide whether this person is for you or not.

[Read: 15 signs of a bad relationship you should never ever tolerate]

If you think your girlfriend is taking advantage of you, it’s time to change that. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s worth learning how to handle a girlfriend that takes you for granted.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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